Be me

It's my birthday today. I failed my OHP, and have no plans apart from sitting at home, drinking a shitty protein shake, and staring at my ceiling until it's dark enough to fall asleep.

>I spurge out and say Ewww! Really loud

Happy birthday, my friend :)

...

>>they all probably think im gay now
It's 2016. The worst you'll get is probably that guys would refuse to partner with you, and you only get girls from now on. You can now proceed to surprise them with your straightness and bang them nights. These are of course assuming you're >8/10.

One day we'll learn if he ever made it

Ther other day you asked if my professor responsed to my email about bumping my C- to a C. He did yesterday and said no ;_; but I'm mostly over it now

Ah yes the OHP gains user. That sucks bro, but I am glad it doesn't have you down. Enjoy your summer vaca, are you taking any summer classes?

First birthday wish of the day! Thanks.

Happy B-day! Hope you have a good one, user

Faggot

Breh happy birthday it'll get better some day

>doctor tells me for years my height is 5'11'-6'
>at school gym
>see some calibrated height measurement ruler on wall
>check height
>5'10"
>tfw the doctors lied to me
>tfw I really am a manlet
I want to die bros, all the guys im my family are 6'+

Ill never make it

Happy Birthday user, at least you have us.

>Tfw get told I'm 5'9 my whole life
>Go get physical for rugby
>Tfw 5'7.5
>What the fuck kind of height is that anyway

I feel your pain user, at least you're not turbo manlet status like I am.

...

do hostesses try to give you the kids menu when you eat out with your family?

>do hostesses try to give you the kids menu when you eat out with your family?

No, luckily I have a beard plus body hair that pretty much solidifies I'm 23. I guess the upside is I have a full thick head of hair while most of my taller friends have receding hairlines or are just flat-out balding, so I guess thats the silver lining.

>What the fuck kind of height is that anyway

that's a pity-from-the-nurse-half-inch height is what that is.

the good news is you'll only shrink as you age.

whats the point of even lifting if you have no hair. My hairline hasn't receded yet, apparently it would have started in puberty, so I think I'm good on the hair.

I'm 18 though, also 6'

I'm 5"11 and I can tell you it's still manlet status. Honestly the ideal height is 6"2-6"5 anybody who tells you otherwise is lying to you straight out. You can still get laid and all that shit without it, and most men above 6"0 do tend to have really shitty frames and look like lanklets, but there is a huge benefit to being in that range socially speaking as long as you are not a complete autist. It basically just lowers the difficulty of life; more girls will look at you, you will gain more oppertunities in terms of employment and upping your social status, and you will just in general get more respect for being taller.

The 5"11-6'"1 range is more of the mid-tier range. You won't really stand out, but you won't be considered short either. If you have a pretty face you will likely get laid a lot and do better than say somebody who is 6"2-6"5 that is ugly or an autist, but you would have scored more if you were in that height range with that pretty face.

The 5"8-5"10 range is the "could be worse" range but you will definitely be at a disadvantage all around here. You will likely have been called short a few times in your life, and you will have to work a lot harder than the other guys to achieve the same things. You will have to work a lot harder to make girls notice you and make other men respect you, but you aren't completely in the "fucked" area quite yet.

The 5"5 to 5"7 range is manlet status completely and you are fucked in this range unless you already have wealth, have some kind of unique talent, or have a very pretty face . You will at least stand out in this range (of course negatively) but because you will be more in the limelight for being short it will give you some opportunity to get noticed if you are talented or do something out of the norm.

Anything below 5"5 and there is no hope for you sadly unless you are born rich.

>whats the point of even lifting if you have no hair. My hairline hasn't receded yet, apparently it would have started in puberty, so I think I'm good on the hair.

I know guys that are pretty shredded and can pull off the shaved head look, its really about your skull shape though, not many people can pull off the skinhead look.

>thank god im not a fucking manlet

...

i think you're right about the 5'7 categories and below. honestly would move the other definitons down a rank and say anything above 6'3 is freaky long, 6'3 is close to too tall, and range 6'0 to 6'2 is perfect
5'8-5'11 is basically the same shit. decent but could be better

I sorta know that feel, bro. I thought I was 5'6" all my life. Went to the doctor's office last year for the first time in years and I was 5'5"... with shoes on.

At least I'm not a virgin! Got that going for me, at least.

There was this chick at BJJ/Muay Thai who was talking about not getting dick in forever and how if she had a husband she'd break him every night. My dick was confused because she was like 6/10 but sounded like a freak which boosts her to perfect waifu in my book.

>>they all probably think im gay now
Well you do post on Veeky Forums

>virgin social autist
>girls like to randomly talk to me and I have no idea what the fuck I am doing, nor do I know why they do so
>all I do is lift weights, try to dress fashionable and get good cuts, but all I do in my time is lift, come home and post on Veeky Forums
>lift every single day
I know how you feel OP

OP here I realized the only to show everyone I'm not gay is to fuck the girl, record it and show everyone.

Happy bday user.

I know that feel; don't get down on yourself.

Celebration is overrated. Birthdays are no reason to celebrate. Save your celebrating for real achievements.

Happy birthday!

hbay bro, next time try with dumbbells

5'5 here :(

Or turkey slap/teabag your vengeance out on her face.

What's a turkey slap?

Happy birthday user

Happy birthday user :)

>be me
>transferred from a different school district in 9th grade, gained a lot of weight, lost it sophomore year and started lifting junior year.
>now silent muscular senior(18) who spends his time lifting, studying and golfing (no social life/activities)
>prom was this past weekend
>don't go bc only have 2 friends + don't know any girls
>friends went to other school's proms

today
>classmates ask
>user did enjoy prom? user who did you take to prom? user did you take your girlfriend to prom? I didn't see you at prom.
>tell them I had nobody to go with.
>Why didn't you just go with your friends?
>tell them they both couldn't go
>Girlfriend?
>tell them I don't have one

The same shit happened at the gym after school too, but with different people.

They all act fucking surprised, like no shit I don't have anybody to fucking go with. It's fucking obvious I didn't go, nobody talks to me. I try to talk to people, but what am I to them, just another acquaintance or attractive body to make them look better? Don't have any mutual friends or any connections bc my best friends aren't very involved socially either. It's like everyone forgot I existed, then all of a sudden there it is cool to give me overwhelming amounts of attention. I have a feeling now people are going to really start caring about me, now, after four fucking years of high school, just because it's the cool thing to do. Haha I'm so over it....I can't wait for college.

happy birthday user here is butt

fit feels?
>seeing girls at the gym who can lift more than i can lifting with their boyfriends and i just lift alone using anger from my breakup

Is this a "girls have no control," thread?

>started going to some MMA practice shit with cousin since it's free and decide why the fuck not
>it's a fucking no A/C building with the floor fully matted, we share it with cheerleaders working in off season (you know the ones that are trying to go career in this shit)
>we roll in the very front and they have the whole back but teacher keeps saying to stop looking and concentrate at them or join us and leave.
>first few weeks don't realize how much stamina it takes to roll....holy shit but start getting better
>one day we finish up our class and the cheerleaders finish at the same time, everyone leaving while I am trying to learn how to roll onto the floor without just slamming down since for some reason I'm too autism to understand how to do it
>two cheerleaders drenched in sweat come up to me and ask what I'm doing , I tell them and think that's the end
>they ask if I can teach them moves since it looks like fun and could protect themselves...lol ok
>I teach them what we were taught that day (the hip flip thing..like where the guy is behind you and you grab his arm, slam your ass into him and pick him up then flip him)
>don't realize what I've done till I feel one of the cheerleaders boobs on my back
>autism out of it but the other cheerleader wants to try and grabs my hand and literally slams her entire body into me
>I begin to start stuttering to hold on but stop when I realize she's wiggling her ass near my crotch to get into position
>I look to the other girl and she's staring at our mid section then looks me straight in the eyes
>I freak and begin to try to back away when out of nowhere she flips me, hard onto the mat
>I start trying to get up but the other one tries to like arm bar me but is putting her whole body weight on my chest
>the other one falls onto my face to help her friend
>I think my adrenaline is kicking in because I can't move I feel sluggish as fuck
\cont

>I realize one of the girls is fully mounted and I can feel her legs wrapping around my mid section
>the other one is literally laying on my face..her tits keep suffocating me
>lay there just because I've never been in the situation till I realize I am starting to get hard as fuck
>start freaking out and begin just trying to get out
>they hold harder down and I'm legit getting even harder it's almost full on stiff
>finally get autism strength, shrimp out of the girl on top of me and like am just grindning into the girl on my face while I'm shrimping and now I'm on top of her
>my face the entire time is literally smashed between her tits till I finally lay up off her
>both of them are exhausted but laughing
>i sit indian style so they don't see my hard on
>they say their rides here and I smile and say good bye
>the entire time they are giggling and looking back
>think it's over when the instructor of our mma shit yells "hurry up so I can lock the door no one wants to see your dick."
>too embarrassed to go back for a week in case the girls heard him
>don't see them again

Is that your butt?

yea

holy shit what the fuck

Post more to help me cure my gayness

>got sick last monday after pulling an all nighter with some tinder jailbaits
>feeling like shit all week goodbye gains
>tfw lost 9 lbs already
>today is the first day I've eaten a normal amount of calories
>missing ex for no reason today
just fuck my shit up senpai at least Die Antwoord released some new songs today

You think college is going to be better with that shitty attitude? Get real. There are literally people asking you if you enjoyed prom and trying to initiate contact with you, and you're complaining about not having friends? If I asked someone how there night out went and they told me they stayed home because no one likes them I'd stop liking them too for being such a downer. You better open up brah, you only get one freshman year of college, and you'd better know how to fucking make friends when it starts.

You should definitely go back there it's a 3/way waiting to happen

>NoGi motherfucker
>top half, crossfacing guy, trying to see if I can get some shoulder choke action
>doesn't seem to be working, and it's been a moment, other guy can't move because of muh pressure
>decide to take a peek to see where my shoulder is
>we both look each other in the eye
>fuck, I guess we're gay now

you have to remember that when you're so use to that lifestyle when people ask you those questions you get defensive and act blunt so the person asking the question doesn't hurt them and just leaves.

It's not their fault it's just they are desensitized with being alone.

I just started going to the gym and I was proud that I could squat the bar...

Give it time mate, you're probably right at the threshhold, today just wasn't the day. Life's short, don't be down on yourself.

ok but i'm posting more feels
>in the gym
>see super hot guy lifting
>decide Today Is The Day To Try
>write my number on a piece of paper
>walk to him but get nervous and sperg out
>"h-hi, sorry"
>hand him paper
>he doesn't even make eye contact with me
>just looks away while saying "thanks" in the most unamused tone possible by human vocal chords
>leave and sit in car for 10 minutes sweating by myself thinking about how awkward that was

You should have just talked to him. It's pretty autistic to hand him a paper without saying anything and leave

Me and a girl made eye contact at the gym, not wanting to be an autist and not wanting to interrupt her workout I didn't say anything and went to the abs section to do some workouts. I get on a mat and starts doing ab wheel roll outs when she walks over to the section too and gets on the machine next to me (there were open ones elsewhere) and starts doing this ass workout right in my face. I mean I could literally see through her yoga pants she was so close to me. I obviously didn't say anything because I didn't want to be a creep but then she got a mat too and started doing stretches and crunches across from me about 10 feet away. We continued to make eye contact here and there but we never smiled at each other or anything. Am I over analyzing or did she want the D?

>overanalyzing situations
Stop.

Cmom man, happy birthday!!

happy birthday man

we're all gonna make it

but you went back eventually right? .____.

>puts her ass right in your face
I'm creeped out for you.

Done this a bunch of times. Like today.

It wasnt a big deal just wondering if she was interested because she kept coming near me.
It was a really nice ass to be fair
Done what the girl did?

Bro, don't you dare worry. I spent my birthday this year with Veeky Forums, drinking shitty free beers I got from Chad hockey players at work and trying to resist the urge to go out and crash my car on purpose. Shit gets better. As I've learned, Veeky Forums is surprisingly there for you when you need it.

You have your goals and you WILL make it. We love you. Happy birthday, brother!

That's a real nice butt you got there

More stories and more ASS

I would personally never do that, usually when I'm interested I just look at them occasionally to catch eye contact and kind of smile and look away. I doubt with my whole being she wants to bang.

eventually I grabbed a number by confidently walking up to this guy I kept seeing and we've banged since then. worth it

>at the gym squatting
>squat racks are right in front of a mirrored wall, behind them, a walkway, and then some machines also facing the mirror and squat racks
>doing squats
>as I go down, I see a guy doing hammer strength pulls behind me on the machine
>he's wearing basketball shorts
>see his enormous boner sticking straight up tenting a small circus in his shorts
>right behind me
>makes eye contact with me in mirror by accident
>he keeps going regardless of huge boner, does nothing
>I pretend it's not happening and get progressively more intimidated and worried about the idea is sporting a huge boner, unrestrained by underwear or even self-control
>can't focus, palms sweat
>leave

No, you see the thing is I'm rich and could buy them if I really wanted to, i'll just do that in college.

If a girl handed me a piece of paper with her number and then shyed away, I would've been too turned on to do anything. Shy girls are the cutest. Maybe that's what went through his head. Don't jump to the worst conclusion so quickly, sis.

It would literally make me less flustered if a girl came over and told me she wanted to suck my dick in the parking lot ASAP

>At boxing gym warming up
>Owner's little kid is running around wrestling people
>He puts me in a headlock as I'm laying around stretching
>I don't know anything about wrestling but I am like 4x heavier than him
>Flip around and stand up, proceed to just slip under and out of his hold
>He hangs on tight
>Mfw my lips are literally like .05 inches away from his as I'm slipping out
>Mfw I'm like seriously one small bump away from kissing this little 5 year old boy

Fuck that was awkward but whatever lel

OP here, good! I try to be nice and as honest as possible with everyone who talks to me. Would you recommend me saying, "I went out alone and got drunk by myself?" You see I'm stuck, in order to go out and have fun, you need social friends. In order to have social friends, you need to go out and have fun.
BTW is not me

what... why is it the 25th birthday? I plan to kill myself when im finally 25.
Happy birthday tho

Happy Birthday faget!

This happened to me today. I was doing pull ups and this qt came in the area I was and started doing some weird dumbbell deadlifts and I got a boner Midway through my set and she kept looking and smirked witch gave me an even bigger boner plus she had no bra on under her shirt

Happy birthday bro remember you're family here, we're all gonna fuckin make it

yea i went to the gym for the first time a few days ago and i noticed this really hot girl doing instagram ass workouts looking at me quite a bit, i was like damn usually i can sort of tell when i girl dont give a shit about me and when one is checking me out but i was the skinniest guy there at 6'1 152, my large frame structure doesnt make me look like a skeleton though. who knows honestly maybe i was doing something to make her keep staring at me.

What's your opinion on s-short guys?

Is there even a non autistic response to this? I feel like half of these stories only have an autistic outcome.

>tfw you turn down every advance a girl makes on you because you suspect they have to be making fun of you

Actually no one has ever called me short even though im 5'10" they all think im 6' like I did for so long

Its ok user at least youre not a handholdless virgin like me...

He's one of the exceptions for being alpha af

>I WAS SAYING OOOOOOOOOOOO, NOT EWWWWW

Fuck, are you me?

I don't even have bad social anxiety. I can talk to women as well just fine. But I don't know how to be fun and I am 100% incapable of making anything sexual. I'm not even super interested in getting laid desu, I just don't want to regret wasting my youth as I have done so far. I'm a recluse who doesn't want to do much unless I see a benefit in doing it. I think I'm a good conversationalist and I can be very funny but I think I'm also offputting sometimes and just boring. I don't know. I don't introspect too much on myself unless I'm writing it down like this, but I want to improve myself and I'm not entirely sure how. I love my body, but I'm short and pale and maybe my insecurity comes from that and my face. I don't know. No matter how many times you get validated though, it still never seems to erase the insecurity.

Good night user.

Happy birthday user, don't give up, you're a sick cunt if you wanna be

FUCK YOU ARE ME, besides being short

Good night me