Should I do it Veeky Forums? I haven't been laid in a month, I need to get my dick wet. She's high test...

She's overweight but not a landwhale. Could be fun!

>High-test
>Girl is an actual hambeast

We're really going to abuse the shit out of this meme aren't we lads?

>Before I tell this story, I'd like to say I'm a firm believer in evolution now.
>Be me, going through a massive dry spell
>Decide to get on Tinder because shits
>Match with a girl, she's cute as fuck. Send an opening message
>All goes well. Within maybe 5 messages I have her number
>Text her for about 3 days
>Learn she lives approx 45 minutes away
>Oh well, that's life
>Deal with the fact I'll never fuck her
>Add her on snapchat anyway.
>We flirt a lot
>She starts sending nudes over snapchat
>Prefer snapchat anyway because you cant use saved photos and Veeky Forums has taught me better
>Dem tits
>Dat ass
>Dat waist
>Girl is pretty high test. Still fucking cute
>We flirt more, despite the fact that we'll never have sex
>She texts me every day in the morning as soon as she gets up, last person she texts before bed
>Start talking on the phone, even her voice is hot
>Everything goes great Veeky Forums
>Flirting Intensifies
>She tells me that she was going to surprise me by coming over one weekend
>I'm gonna fuck this bitch into oblivion
>I get every weekend off, so this is easily doable for me
>Tell her to come over ASAP
>It's maybe 7 or 8 PM when she calls me
>We're on out way
>Wait a fucking minute, "We"?
>Here's where shit starts going downhill
cont.

Oh shit this is gonna be good

>Wait a fucking minute, "We"?
Pls don't disappoint

Virgin faggot detected

>Implying it hasn't been abused for the last 2 years
The original "high test" grill had cankles for fucks sake

Oh shit son

> over weight
> fun

Choose 1

Moar

Try to make this one fast, gotta sleep

I pray you heed my warning user.
Proceed with caution.

>be me
> 2nd cycle, tren for first time
>must fuck everything
>meet this girl, at least 250lbs, all ass
>we hook up, loved it
>Now I can only truly get off to bbw's and bbw porn

I have fucked several normal girls since, but nothing revs my engine like a big girl now.

YOU WILL GET ADDICTED.

But to each his own bro, she could be the best you've ever had. I know mine was

>literally white whale. Kek

suspense is killing me user

>"Yeah, my friend is coming with me to make sure you aren't dangerous"
>Kinda pissed at first, but friend comes in to save me later
>Friend is gay skelly. Lets call him gaybro
>They arrive after a 45 minute drive
>Park on wrong side of apartment
>Wander around looking for them
>"We're over here by the grocery store"
>See two figures, a normal looking frame, and what looks like a walking box for a fridge
>Hope to the Christian God that she brought two friends and she's behind this whale
>Fucking. Nope.
>Greet them like a gracious and disappointed host
>Walk to my apartment, walk fairly quickly hoping they dont see which one I go into and leave
>Nope, they're too close behind
>Last thing I need is a whale and her friend harassing my apartment, reluctantly let them in
>Gaybro and whale sit on the couch, I sit on office chair in front on my computer desk
>I try to hide being visably pissed, but I'm visably pissed
>Talk to gaybro for a bit
>Completely disregard whale's presence
>He must have picked up on that, it goes quiet, he talks about how they have to leave sometime hella early if they stayed the night
>Fucking thank you gaybro
>Look at her face for about a solid minute. Convince myself that I can at least stant a bj from this fatty
>We go into my room. I instantly begin to feel nausea
>She says the first thing to me all night
>"I'm not sure if I should hug you or shake your hand"
>Take a second of stunned silence, make a face, and extend my hand
>She laughs and goes for the hug.
>I can barely get my arms around this bitch
>Her lats feel like a plastic bag with pudding in it
>Immediately let go, sit on my bed, ponder the choices I've made that led me to this moment
>Also thinking about how fatties have evolved to take a decent looking selfie from any place, in any lighting
>She takes this as in invitation to sit her heavy-breathing ass onto my bed
>More regret, I climb to the top and lay down for a bit
>It follows
It goes even further down hill.

WHITE WHALE

Hurry it up dammit

Fucked a big girl recently. Damn misleading photos on Tinder. Anyways, go for it, really not that bad.

Fucking fat cunts and their gay friends.

>>Her lats feel like a plastic bag with pudding in it
MUH SIDES

Wait, I could understand if this was a catfish but legitimately how are you not able to verify landwhale status before the meetup?

>her lats feel like a plastic bag with pudding in it

lmao

KEK

I fucked a land whale before. Couldn't do many positions, we couldn't even do cowgirl. Probably 240lbs

I blew a fat load inside her tho

>Tries to cuddle me
>Fuck that, I roll away
>Tries to spoon me
>Lol nope, sit up
>She mimics every move I make, while making the typical fat fuck "I'm sighing really loudly because I clearly want you to fuck me" noise
>I say fuck it, lay down
>She lays in front on me, talking
>Make a face at her
>She immediately realizes it's her breath
>"I'm sorry teehee (yes, she really fucking teehee'd) you're just so cute and I was so nervous, I had a little to drink"
>"Oh? What did you drink?" didn't really take a fucking genius to guess the smell on her breath, though
>"A bottle of wine"
>An entire fucking bottle of wine
>I take a moment to take if this bitch has any form of self control
>Of course not, she's fucking fat.
>Cant take this anymore, look her into the eyes and say the first thing that comes into my head
>"You smell like a fucking winery."
>She laughs, takes this as a joke
>I'm stone-faced, not laughing one bit. I'm fucking miserable
>Think for the fucking millionth time "How the fuck did she do that on Snapchat."
>She puts her hand on my fucking thigh
>Oh, fuck no.
>Slowly take her hand, pick it off my thigh, slowly place her hand back on her side so she doesn't reflexively bite me
>Sighs again, moves hand next to my leg
>Fuck this, time to win an Oscar
>Sit up, go from stone-faced to semi-believable look of distress
>"This is our first time meeting. I talked a big game, but it doesn't feel right because I like you so much. I'm sorry to waste your time"
>She looks clearly disappointed, but likes me enough to reluctantly agree.
>Offers to go home, but gaybro is the one who drove, he's already asleep.
>Fuck it, he made the excuse to leave, he can stay
>Offer her the second couch to crash on. Bolt for my room
>She takes this as a fucking reason to get into my bed
>I just look into her face and say "couch"
>She gets up, leaves, I realize I'm probably going to get raped tonight
>Wrap myself tight as fuck in blanket, go to bed

Just a bit more

kekkle

Just lay their and let her suck your dick and ride you. Close your eyes and enjoy it fgt

bring it home

If you are going to do the bullshit "break it up to try to get an audience" , at least pretype it in another window

Shut up enabler

...

There*

>lock bedroom door just in case
>door can still be unlocked with a paperclip
>can't sleep that night
>regretting my life choices
>turn on some TV
>hear footsteps, doorknob budges
>silence for a minute
>hear fidgeting with doorknob, door unlocks and opens
>hamplanet sees me and looks surprised
>"hey user teehee"
>comes up to me and climbs on top of me
>I try to run but she is too big
>She holds my arms and legs down
>I start screaming
>Eventually escape
>Smash a glass on my table, use it as a weapon
>Tell her to fucking leave
>She starts crying
>Go and wake up beta bro
>Tell him what happened
>He confronts her, she is still in my room sobbing
>betabro screams at her, tells her what she did was fucked up
>he apologizes to me
>takes her and leaves
>fin

To this day I am ashamed of my actions

She had full body photos up, where she was thick, but they must have been two years old. Oh well, she gave a mean blow job and was a pretty decent fuck at that. Asked about anal and she said "Next time". Wondering if I should bother...

Wtf you faggot

some of us have morals, user.

High test bitches actually have a nice waist to hip ratio, user. This bitch is fat. Don't kid yourself; or try to pass her off on us as high test. By all means fuck if ya wanna, but don't lie

Veeky Forums has a maximum post length and rate, you know.

>so she doesn't reflexively bite me
LOL

9/10 greentext, would screenshot and post in ylyl threads, but i am too lazy

jesus god help us all

The ending to this story sucked more than the big girl fwb I used to have. And that's A LOT

#REKT

>Wake up, she's got a blanket of her own, once again in my fucking bed.
>Too tired to bother yelling. It's like 3 AM and I'm exhausted from being let down
>As if God timed it himself, she wakes up at the same time
>"I'm sorry, it's too hot, I can't sleep with pants on teehee"
>OH FUCK NO
>Before she could even "hee" I'm already out of the bed, racing for my thermostat
>Turn that shit down to 65
>You're putting on more clothes you fat fuck
>Say couch again and go back to bed
>She pretends to be asleep
>Don't care, go back to original spot
>Wrap self up again
>She scoots herself closer in some attempt to cuddle
>Spend all night sandwiched between her an wall
>Between a fatty and a hard place
>I'm tired as fuck, but I'm awake the moment dawn hits
>She's still in my fucking bed, gaybro on my couch
>Walk around in my apartment, think of way to get these fuckers out without making a scene
>Start doing things that someone would do in their morning routine, except 4 times louder
>Run bathroom sink at max power
>Start flinging kitchen cabinets open and shut
>They wake up within a minute
>They're both sitting on my couch now
>Look at gaybro
>"Don't you have to go pick something up?"
>He nods at me "Oh yeah, come on whalanon, we have to get going"
>He gives me a look, like he's sorry for what I got myself into
>I give him the leftover beers from a party I had a month ago
>Realize after they left I woke up with the blanket unwrapped and my zipper down
>Pretty sure I get raped by Shamu
>Text her some shit about that not feeling right
>Block her and never contact again
>Lose all faith in God
>He wouldn't have let this happen.

Never using Tinder again.

i fucking hate it when someone paperclips a locked door.

my brothers whale gf did it to me, but mostly my mom did it way too much

That isn't me.

This is me.

Wtf? who the hell are you?

THIS is my story

THIS is some random user

Its like a choose your own shitty adventure book in this thread

>Lose all faith in God
>He wouldn't have let this happen

Yeah maybe because YOU SHOULD HAVE FUCKING KICKED HER OUT from the start. kill yourself you idiot

This is HERSTORY

Both endings are pretty meh

apex kek

ayy

but you can save photos

Yeah, I wish I could have ended that better/in a funnier way, but I was too busy making sure this ham never found me again

Plus it was true, so I didn't think to make up an ending.

This.

Seriously why'd you even lead them back to your apartment. Should've flat out told her her pictures are deceptive as fuck (or could've at least pussied out and just said that you're not feeling it.)

Like how much of a hamplanet was she

Yea now i'm curious as fuck as to what this girl looked like. Post those nudes on /b/ and let's see what we're whaling.

I have a long-ass wingspan, and I still barely got my arms around her.

For a better story to tell you.

>She's high test, so it's ok right?

>not fucking gaybro in his ass

JUST

Let's here it man. I met up and smashed a crazy tinder broad a couple times

As if you didn't just hate fuck her? wtf user, confirmed never gonna make it

No she is fat you retard. Even I can tell that.

Thick != Fat
High Test != Fat

Get your shit together dumbass.

Have some standards, user.

Honestly thank you for sharing and letting me learn from your actions.

Its always the ugly losers who have super high standard that won't budge. Some of the biggest Chad's I have ever known go from fucking 10/10 Stacies one night to picking up fatties and railing them the next.

You're just insecure that someone will make fun of you for fucking a fatty. Unless shes deformed, she wants the dick she can have it lad.

Gaybro sounds based as fuck 10/10 would friend

My body is a temple, user.

>calling girls "man"

You sound like a complete social failure and a beta cuckold.

Why do people on Veeky Forums think a fatty is ''high test''?
Why do people on Veeky Forums fuck fatties, ever?

Are you really so desperate you need to settle for less?

absolutely disgusting and I hope you feel shame every time you think about it

Don't let anyone tell you what you did was wrong. I'm really proud of you.

The whale from tinder story reminded me of my story

>be finished exams
>3.5 year dry spell
>tinder qt starts talking to me
>movie star face, blonde, big blue eyes
>great pics on tinder
>doing nofap so I'm full of charm and motivation
>get her number and chat to her for a week
>find out she has crazy sex drive
>studying to be a doctor as well
>I figured I was gonna be unemployed for a while so this was a true win
>also spoke non stop about gym, dieting and squats
>told me about her diet and stuff
>this can't go wrong!
>agree to meet up with her after a week
>housesitting for some lady
>wholehousetoourselves.sex
>arrive at house
>fucking wild boar bitch waddles out to meet me
>fuck
>too polite to say no
>ended up getting a bj from her anyway
>while texting her that day I retardedly implied I liked going down on girls
>asks me to go down on her
>it tasted like a salty shoe
>afterwards tells me if I don't keep talking to her she'll cut my dick off
>see her again 3 days later
>bang her at my place
>3 times
>cries after
>"user that was so good don't ever leave me"
>ended up telling her I loved her after like a month
>dated her for 4 months
>she ended it because I didn't get jealous when she got drunk and cheated on me
>fucking thank god
>it ends well
>meet another tinder chick
>gorgeous Latina who works in the same office park as I do (got employed)
>ass that dreams are made of
>absolute demon in bed
>makes a shitload of money, is done studying
>is my age unlike fatty who was 21 (3 years younger)
>fatty still tries to text me
>"are you just going to ignore me??"
>you're fucking right
>blocked her on facebook, whatsapp
>that's what you get for only putting neck-up pictures on tinder you pig

you're a total fucking beta for staying with her for that damn long but glad shit came around for the better, faggot

cuck: the post

that poor puppy ;_______;

whoever the shitbag was that left that amount of chocolate unattended should be kick in the face

I've fucked fat chicks and had some fun but I don't think I'd ever do it long term, ohwell. you live and you learn, hopefully

tbf fat chicks are a decent alternative to jerking off when you've struck out with the hot girls

>making the typical fat fuck "I'm sighing really loudly because I clearly want you to fuck me" noise
fucking

T R I G G E R E D
R
I
G
G
E
R
E
D

and I'm a fat fuck myself

GORL SENDS PIC SHOWING HER BODY

user ASKS HER OUT FOR COFFEE INSTEAD OF TALKING HER INTO FICKING

THIS IS WHY U FAGITS WILL NEVER MAKE IT

you do know it's pretty obvious by the style of writing who's who right?

>told fat fuck you loved her after 4 months
AbsolutelyHaram.tif

I know that feel. fatties are so clingy
>just graduated
>at a small party mostly with close friends
>fat girl i know is there
>am drunk and being a fool
>start grabbing her tits and being flirty for some reason
>end up sleeping in the bed with her
>start caressing her body
>start fingering her while she wanks my dick
>realize how fucking gross her fat body is
>lose my boner
>stop doing dirty things to her
>she keeps trying to do these things to me
>i just kind of let her jerk my off like shes never touched a dick before
>leave bedroom and sleep on couch
>next morning
>my friends are busting my balls about it
>i dealt with that shit for two years
>multiple occasions i had to deal with her trying to fuck me at parties and scaring hot girls away from me
>ended up resenting her
>she calmed down a bit after she could see i was getting annoyed
>at first she thought i was flirty but then she realized
>it was common knowledge that she was in love with me
>talked to a close friend about it that was best friends with her
>told me all this
>yea nigga no shit
>they end up dating a month later
>they have been dating for like 8 months now i think

fucking fatties

I porked a fatty.
Ended up alright, she douched her vag clean, shaved, sucked a mean dick and has a surprisingly tight and warm puss.

6.8/10, would recommend again, lost marks for the presentation, but all the elements were there. Rare hygienic example.

Thanks breh. Yeah pretty much the most beta shit I've ever found myself caught up in. I actually believed she'd dissect my willy. She said she'd done it before at med school.

So far the only chick I've dated whose nudes I deleted

Since we're all telling tinder stories...
>Broke up with GF
>Dry spell while focusing on school and sports
>Decide to download tinder since everyone wad talking abouy
>whatcangowrong.jpg
>Matching with a few girls everyday and having whatever conversation
>Set up a few dates
>First girl I met was a model for NEXT
>Very into fitness and diet because of career
>Hit it off right away
>Second day we hang out, we fuck
>Perfect tits, ass and face
>Go to the gym together
>Meal prep together
>Thing seemed perfect
>Fast forward a couple months
>In a relationship at this point
>She starts to get too comfortable
>Agency tells her she's fat and needs to lose weight
>She gets depressed and starts eating more
>Stops coming to the gym with me
>Gains weight week by week
>Became high-test (which was amazing)
>Eventually becomes a whale
>One day, we're fucking and she gets into doggy position
>As I'm about to stick my dick in, I smell something...
>Maybe she forgot to wipe
>Maybe she just didn't care too
>Smelled like a mixture of urine and shit
>Nearly throw up everywhere
>"Whats wrong babe"
>I get up to turn in the lights
>DID SHE SHIT HERSELF?
>There is shit all in between her ass crack and on my bed
>Im so fed up with her depressed self that I tell her to leave
>She breaks up with me the next morning
>Texted me back right after trying to take it back
>lolno

She gained more weight in the preceding months and has become a "Healthy In All Sizes" activist. Still texts me every so often, calling me a misogynist and tells me I'll never find love. Its like the fat got into her brain or something.

>black fattie fwb
>since she's fat i didn't give a fuck about her feelings, always fucked her like a cocksleeve
>apparently chicks dig this and she got attached
>fucked on and off for 1.5 years
>best time we had sex (once) was when her parents wasn't home, weed, fresh shower
>started catching feelings for a girl so i told her no more fwb
>she breaks down and told me she loved me
>i obviously didn't and it was just physical attachment
>had to let go of that toxic relationship

fat chicks are people too but damn i pity that self delusion and my own assholeness

troll/10 fuck off

Go be fat somewhere else.

She fat mayne

they got meme'd