Beta moments

I can't maintain eye contact with people and am ashamed of manifesting my affection towards them. What the hell is wrong with me?

On the other hand if I know someone on a "bro" level and can be myself I'm fine and jovial.

Just BEE yourself brah

No need to change your self user, there is always a reason why we act like how we do. Be proud of what you are

I am, for example when I tell a cheeky joke to a girl, but I can't look her in the eyes when I'm doing it, for some reason I'm ashamed of it.

>meet girl on a party 3 years ago, we get along great.
>start datIng for a month, great sex (had a dry spell off a year) and really fun to be around.
>Suddenly tells me I'm to good for her and breaks all contact out of nowhere. Broke my heart because really like her and didnt know what went wrong
>She ignores me but still asks my friends how I'm doing regularly
>fast forward 3 months, see her in a marketplace. She smiles at me and comes over, we go to get a drink to talk or some shit. End up at my place, start dating again for 2 months, again does the same shit as before, breaks all contact.
>this goed on for 3 years, breaking up and getting together again. Other girls are interested in me but keep rejecting them because i want her.
>Feel like her personal toy, know all her games and manipulative strategiespel but keep ignoring them because i have a zevere case of oneitis.
>2 months ago got together again for the 8th fucking time, again break up 3 weeks ago.
>last week she calls me asking to come over, first I said I'm done with her shit. She insisteert and said it was really important. Comply
>she immediatly starts crying like a child, telling how bad of a person she is and asking why I'm the only one putting up with her shit. Tell her because I love her.
>starts crying more and tells me she has HIV and i should get tested
>what the fucking shit, get mad, get tested, I'm fucking positive aswell
>get back together with her because who the fuck wants someone with hiv

Ultimate cuck/beta

Hold me fit

Been there.

Only 2 things help.
1. increase your social circle. Get god friends.
2. shift your fokus between the persons eyes.

I'll lift in your memory. irl the sane person who gives you advice would say dump her anyways, you deserve better, you've worked too hard with lifting to settle for that shit. But do whatever you want.
Maybe pretend the random strangers you're looking at are your friends, then. Mind over matter. Or maybe you think to yourself that you're going to be a sick cunt and not a sad one. Either way.

Jesus fuck.

See everyone as a bro/sis then

/thread

Think about this, you are working your body right? You gotta do the same thing on your social and mental health, work on it, work on your self-confidence, it ain't gonna be strong itself brah, you gotta practice.

Holy shit. Ruined my day just from reading it..

No way

It'll be your upbringing.

Sorry to say pal but your parents failed you. Learn from it. Learn about the issues that are controlling you and think of ways to overcome them. It's good that you're self aware of these issues. If you have children one day they will be better off for it too.

We are all products of our parent's fucked up attitudes and complete lack of knowledge regarding parenting.

Congratulations man, you made it! If only you had enough self respect to take care of yourself you wouldn't have been in such a shitty position to begin with. Good on ya buddy. She'll leave you again soon enough so be prepared to be HIV+'Ly alone.

b8

Hahaha I'm the guy version of this with a girl I've been dating on and off for years.
No HIV shit though.
Always have that pussy when I want it, though. It's good to be somebody's oneitis.

...

Not that guy but I was raised by my grand mother and would get physically punished if i made eye contact with her, ate with my left hand and other retarded shit.

Ive been trying for ages to learn how to socialize properly but nothing seems to work, been at university for 3 years and haven't made a single friend. How do i fix this?

No mate, I left Some details out of it to not make it too cringy but whatever might aswell tell it.

>third time we got together again I saw her on a place a regularly go.
>in hindsight she always came to places she never went to if she knew I was gonna be there.
>it was 4 days before she would go abroad for 4 months to a shithole in Congo for volunteer work.
>We hooked up again and she got all emotional and shit about how she wanted to be with me and was afraad to lose me while she was gone
>Promised her I'd wait for her and be faithfull to her, so I did
>4 months no sex, rejecting other women and havist a huge phone bill camping and texting her in a shithole where there was no internet and almost no service.
>When she came back she changed, she was awkward, communicated very weirdly and it took her 2 weeks to want to have sex again
>normally we did it 3-5 times a day
>one and a half week after that she got "depressed" and insisteert breaking up again because I deserved better
>A week later she tried to fuck one of my best friends, the one that introduced is to eachother (he often days he wished he never die it), he declined and immediatly called me.
>Was mad as fuck but didnt have contact with her so let it be.

Can't help mate. I was a bit reclusive early 20s and basically had one friend. Personally, getting a retail job helped me socialise and make friends. It wasn't an instant transformation but I'm definitely good at making friends nowadays. But I didn't have am abusive childhood like yours. I had uninspiring, apathetic parents and depression/anxiety.

All I can really say is get yourself out there.

So she fucked some dude it congo and gave you hiv when she got back?

I've noticed I don't make as much eye contact with men as I do with women.

>the seventh time we were together ended really badly
>we went out and had a argument before about a female friend of mine, she thought I was fucking her. Never ever die i cheat on this girl.
> at the party my friend was there and came over to me to talk, she didnt know about our argument.
> my gf thought I was provoking her so started flirting and grinding other guys in my line of sight.
> went up to her to ask her wtf shes doing, she told me to fuck off and told the guys around her I was harrasing her. Got angry but kept my cool.
> went over to my friend and started kissing her (was shitfaced and fed up at this point)
>My gf charged over at me screaming and glassed me ( only time she went to physical abuse).
>she started hitting me and I pushen her over, by that time they pulled her away from me.
>I leave with my friend just to chill and get away from the chaos
>my gf however thought i was gonna fuck her so she decides to fuck one of my desperate friends to get back at me
>I find out the next day and was never this mad, went to the house of my former friend. They were chilling in the garden with 2 guys I didnt know.
>Saw the fear in the guys eyes and the self hatred in hers.
> She came over to me try and calm me down
>Pushed her aside calling her a whore and went primal
> started beating the shit of that guy, blood everywhere. His 2 beta friends tried to break it up but just fucked them up too. She was Craig and screaming all this time. I wanted blood
> His parents came outside and i calmed down and took a run for it, completely broken

Cont

You might have social anxiety,GAD, or autism OP. I used to not make eye contact until I started taking paxil. Get on an antidepressant like prozac,zoloft or paxil.

Your life looks like an episode of jersey shore.

Start talking to people and introducing yourself to them. People you have classes in common with and stuff. See if you can go to lunch or coffee together. Then see if any will invite you to parties after school or go to any you hear about yourself. Can't help much since I was in the same boat as you.

what the fuck is this user? Sounds like you have some major problems too for letting someone do this to do

Nah that was way before
>went home and started drinking whisky, my hand was obliterated
>cops came by 30 mins later and arrested me
>the Guy was in a hospital with a broken jaw, nose and eyecage
>he dropped charges thou but demanded i paid for reconstructive surgery (costed me 14k)
>This was 10 months ago.
>Apparantly this broke her alot more than me.
>Nobody ever saw her outside anymore, she went to a mental hospital aswell for 3 months. Going to therapy after. She got diagnoses with borderline and started Working on it.
>still had Some contact with her sisser and she told me she was changing alot. That she finale realized what shit she causes and couldnt forgive herself for turning a good guy in a monster.
>She even put 15k in my bank account to repay the damage she feels she did.
>Even thou I swore never ever wanting to have anything to do with her she kept sending me text massages about how shes doing and feeling, but never asked to meet up Or anything. I never replied.
>Kept hearing stories of how Well she was doing, not being batshit crazy anymore, quit drinking, started law school again, stopped fucking around (she had one relationship of a month, the guy she got aids from) etc.
>saw her twice in the street and always just walked the other way, didnt want to hurt myself again.
>untill 2 months ago when i was at a festival. I was chilling, fucked up on xtc and alcohol on the camping. Suddenly she is standing next to me and asks to talk a bit if its fine by me.
>we go to my tent, talk, hook up, make up.

And thats how i got hiv

Dam senpai i know that feel. If it's a dude its easy no pressure. If it's a girl I'm just meeting who's attractive my eyes are darting all over the place.

>borderline personality disorder

Not fucking once, my friend. These people are nuts.

>f.am is auto changed to senpai
what tha fuck

Yeah no I know, dad physically abused me and mother had borderline aswell. My 2 brothers are heroin and crack addicted aswell. Functional relationships seem off for me.

Yeah some parts of it.
Moved out at 16 and payed for my own education. Have a good stable job, nice income and good friends (most of them thou). Just cant see' to get a healthy intimate relationship going on.
That was the only time in my life I flippen out thou.

Hi newfriend

Ever been tested for it yourself? If your mother has it, odds are you inherit it.

You poor, dumb bastard.

Nope but going in therapy next month, decided to go 6 Months ago but the shit I wanten had a waiting list of 7 months.
Used to have alot of traits for BPD and NPD but by moving out, working on bettering myself and realising I had these traits most traits are gone Or less severe. I still have Major codependancy, intimacy and self worth issues.
Probably the reason why I'm so attracted to this girl, work 2 jobs and lift.

It's also quite rare for a guy to have full blowen bdp.

To me it's anyone who makes me uncomfortable, even an unattractive girl who might be into me, or a dude I don't like at all and don't want to interact with.

Can you give some examples of things your mother did in childhood that you think gave you bpd

Holy shit man dem feels in this story. Tbh after the bar thing grinding on guys i would have just left. Fuck that shit. I dont care what she thinks you dont do that shit fuck that whore. But i guess thats life we bang our head against something over and over get fucked and do it again. I wish you luck and gains my friend.

I'm not going to quote every post but that HIV story is sad as fuck. God damn.

I would (probably) kill the bitch and then myself desu

If it's true, best of luck. HIV will probably kill you, eventually; as I doubt you can afford all the drugs that keep it at bay. I guess just try to enjoy your time on earth even though you have a deadly virus.

Please get away from that girl though

>19 yrs old virgin loser
>decide to lift to get a gf
>one year later
>better looking than anyone I know
>still haven't had any female contact
>so ridiculously bitter now I can't even look at them without getting upset
>just want to rip their head off and rape their neck

Help me guys I'm gonna fucking lose it

Whenever the subject of relationships comes up at work I leave the room pretending to have something to do to avoid others finding out I'm a 28 years old kissless virgin who's never even been on a date. I avoid everyone I've ever known for a longer time for this reason too.

>I can't maintain eye contact with people
this. why is this so fucking hard

Biggest beta moment of my life was when I was with my crush at a huge party, both drunk, and she tried to kiss me and I pulled back from the kiss. Still makes me cringe when I think about it, and I still can't explain why.

save up $300, fuck a prostitute, now you won't be as nervous hopefully

I really should. My brain needs to realize it's nothing special or scary.I'll have to look on how to find some.

>fall for qt short redhead with huge ass
>she has a boyfriend
>talk with her for a few weeks, they break up
>go in for kill
>lol nope gets back with ex
>initiate depression mode
>fuck my life
>they break up again
>give her second chance
>had the best couple weeks of my life with her
>tells me she still has feelings for ex boyfriend, breaks things off
>try to not care
I want to fucking end myself. I wrote a song about her last night. I'm fucking pathetic.

Also I should add
>her ex is a ugly manlet skinnyfat faggot
Why does she like him brehs ;_;

Shit will get better user

Top kek you made me choke on my food