Lets talk about your depression

Lets talk about your depression

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Stupid BBC whores making black tulpas. That's what you get.

Just becone dead inside desu senpai

>if it aint weights i dont want it

Mental health is important, and discussing it is beneficial. Had I said "feels thread" then sure, maybe you have a point. But you dont

>go to a doctor if its a biological thing

>do psychedelic drugs or just get over it if it's not.

This nothing more to say

It's not really like this comic, for me it's more like a shadow on the corner of my peripheral vision that I almost never notice. But when I do notice it I can't stop seeing it until I find some decent distraction like a solid outing with friends. Lately I notice it more and more, and I have to constantly chase distractions from it. I'm still functional I guess, lifting helps, if I can remain social I think I can can keep it at bay for the foreseeable future.

fuck you, I did abs today,,,

depression is still here. Except it used to terrorize me all the time... now thanks to my lifts I'm strong enough to punch it back into submission

Seriously tho: to any fatties reading this, lifting helps a fuckton for depression

Channel it into pure rage and hatred

use those as fuel in the burning meteor of shit that is your life

Lifting definitely helps. So do friends. Im just anxious about what'll happen after college when everyone gets a different job, I have no easy way to meet girls, etc

Depression is the deadliest meme ever desu.

Recently moved to washington state after wanting to for 10 years and have been seriously disappointed. The people hide in their houses and keep to themselves. I literally only work with 5 other people who half of them love to start drama. I've been unable to make friends after a year. I took a huge risk moving here from sunny warm Texas where maybe a lot of people are fat but they are generally nice and friendly (least the city I lived in).

All my family and friends live 2200+ miles away. I've been trying so hard to make friends, going out and visiting Seattle and starting school, all to no avail.

Half the people in this state are fucking punks and losers and dirty.

So much regret, I left so much behind for a dream only to be crushed. I can only stay positive for so long. So tired of having to put so much effort into just trying to be happy every day. I am not a sad person, my natural disposition is cheerful and happy. But goddamnit, I can't keep it up much longer.

There's a fucking reason grunge came from this state. I don't give a shit how beautiful it is, fuck Washington. Go ahead and visit but fuck actually living here.

>Mental health is important
This is the reason Veeky Forums abolished "health" in the headline. But you faggots still post

It's weird cause I don't register feelings at all anymore
Like for instance when I'm anxious with something I don't feel anything at all am speaking as I always do and have an absolutely neutral face but if I look at my hands they're all sweaty
Basically I think my feelings are dead

Kek

>Getting wisdom teeth pulled
>Wake up after surgery but before mom arrives to get me
>Begin crying to the nurse about how I hate how I think about suicide a lot

In vino veritas I guess.

Let's talk about why the bitch in the pic is turning into a female Venom.

If the OP was about depression and you dont suffer from depression, why are you bothering? Youre probably the same guy who goes into threads about any diet that isnt yours to spew how inferior it is

Way to overdo it man
I got my wisdom teeth pulled while awake with a local anesthetic

If you aren't a whiny faggot, the comic just means be diligent with stomping out bad shit.

I had to have all four taken out, so the doc was strongly pushing for IV anesthetic. I'm still hoping the nurse didn't tell my parents and just put it down as drugged up ramblings I didn't actually mean.

She's big boss...and you are too

protip: it's not YOUR depression. you feel depressed. let it go. do things to change the way you feel.

>>Wake up after surgery
>>Wake up
Why did they knock you out because of a tooth?

r u srs

it's a wisdom teeth extraction, this is common practice

I still don't understand
I got all 4 taken out also

Where do you live?
I had mine taken out two months ago and they only applied local anesthesia. It's just one or two injections.

USA?

i actually haven't had them taken out yet but i need one done ASAP cause it's all broken and infected and shit.

were you able to lift the day after you got them pulled?

full knock out isn't standard procedure.

generally it's a twilight or local.

once you put someone under the complexity of the case increases significantly as do the risks.

They told me not to do any heavy physical activity for a week for risk of hemorrhage. Plus my whole head hurt like fuck for some days but that's because the doctor sewed the wound too tight and so a bit of bone and food stayed there and got a bit infected.

fuckkkk dude i can't take a week off lifting, no fucking way, i'm hesitant to even take a day off. but i only need one removed... maybe it'll be different? i'll work through the pain, idgaf. i don't get headaches anyway so maybe i'll be good.

My depression was under control, kind of. Had a hand laceration and Can't lift for 3 weeks. Bring on the feels

It's just as bad

I also removed only one, it had caries. Ask your own doctor, but yeah, do what you want. I would skip one day at least though.
The operation wasn't very bad, just bothersome. You must have your mouth wide open for an hour which tires you afterwards, and you feel the doctor constantly pushing and scraping.

It's kinda fun but I hope I don't have to do it again.

depends what he means by "dead inside."

there's the depressed "dead inside" where you can't feel anything but pity for yourself and can't enjoy anything at all.

there's the happy "dead inside" where you stop feeling most things and just enjoy the fuck out of whatever the fuck you want to enjoy.

I drink between 375 ml to 750 ml of whiskey a night. every night.

good night Veeky Forums

This sounds like me but all my friends went to college and I'm stuck here alone.

This kind

Just be urself and dont give a fuck what bitch bois think about you

True however being there right now, it's so easy to slip from enjoying to just apathy. Eats at you slowly, it takes always having some new height to conquer for it to work in my experience.

yesss agreed, but i enjoy things that require making progress. like lifting and making music.

I've long suspected I was abused growing up. I've been concerned about behaviours I displayed as a child and now as an adult.

Looked up the signs and symptoms of sexual abuse (under the guise of trying to figure out if a friend had but, also, to see for myself) and I meet a lot of them.

Currently seeing a crazy doctor to try get a handle on my anxiety and, welp, guess I've found out what is a large cause of it. Explains the depression too.

Nice day for a little cry I guess.

i'll tell u a secret, pham

leave the past in the past

I enjoyed lifting, let it slide trying to pursue a couple career goals that fell through. Realized me and gf probably won't last since I know I want kids and she absolutely despises them. I guess my main advice is be prepared to always being chasing something, otherwise it'll all fall apart.

That picture is kinda hot desu

Bit hard when it's affected my entire life but ok.

yep it's hard.

but i've been there. i spent years trying to piece together what may have caused all of the shitty things i was feeling, all of my behaviors, etc. but it got me nowhere except deeper into my rut.

some things just need to be let go, and that's the first step to happiness.

KEK

It's not so much about letting go it's about how to I undo all these coping mechanisms I've put in place that don't actually help at all.

I'm more fucked up than I ever realised. I want to get better though because I don't want to waste my life and I have a heap of things I want to achieve.

>grew up in south
>moved to Chicago for grad school
>depression got worse
>considering transferring to UWash Seattle

Well shit, guess I should look at CU Boulder instead.

I feel like I need a spark. Smoking weed yesterday for the first time in months felt really good and I woke up motivated for the first time in like a month. But I had a huge amount of anxiety about some stupid bullshit later today and it got me back into a shit mood. I am so out of it. Don't want to talk to anyone and feel like I constantly have nothing to say. I can be energetic and more outgoing but it's simply not there right now.

what kind of coping mechanisms? like, mental or physical ones?

if mental, i found that keeping a journal helped. seeing my thought processes on paper made them concrete enough for me to manipulate into more positive processes.

if physical, are they actually harming you? if so, it's hard to swallow, but... you just have to stop. find something you love to do, first of all. that helps take you away from stuff, and hopefully helps you achieve what you want to achieve as well.

the concept of DOING--putting one foot in front of the other, applied to MOST situations--is something that you've gotta embrace and assimilate into your mental how-to-deal-with-life map.

>repressed memory of being raped at 7 came rushing back during my junior year of college
Now my lifts are better because I'm scared and anxious all the time, and I understand why I'd randomly hate myself intensely; I guess there's a silver lining.
Too afraid to see a psych though.

I spent a year there. Uw seems like a good place to meet people. Lots of social events and ways to meet people.

weird, i just moved to chicago and i'm actually much, much happier than i was living in missouri.

Oh man who's am I supposed to make life changing decisions based on Veeky Forums posts if there are dissenting ones?
I'm at an elite school for my field so everyone's really stressed and depressed anyway. It's not like I'm just getting to party in the city.
Also I'm from FL so I'm missing the salt water I guess.

if you have insurance/money/access, the right shrink can be great. it's hard to tell without shopping around, though, especially if you're desperate. I've got an ex studying for her phd in psych, and stumbled upon someone who's helping, somewhat. Pete Walker's Complex PTSD book also helped.

but seriously, invest in something like daily lifts, even light ones, so that at the end of the day you can say you did *something*. my overwhelming worthlessness still controls a lot of my life, but just being able to check off in a daily log, not even real journal, that I at least improved my body a little bit, even in a vain or temporally-meaningless way, helps the days go by. the depression may never fully disappear, but you can watch days recede more easily when you've at least got your ass in shape.

also check out Seneca's On Anger or some Marcus Aurelius. Stoicism may not make you happy, but it'll help you survive.

Gf left me after 9 years for someone else. Have always fought with depression since early teens, but now this shit is consuming me. I try to mask it with lifting and running, but I'm seriously overtraining in the process and strength is going to shit now. I lift+run every single day and haven't had a rest day since she left me 5 weeks ago.

Otherwise i sit in my room and stare for hours thinking about blowing my brains out and sincerely wishing she is happy now while also wanting to kill us both.

It took tonguefucking the butthole of a high test qt to bring me out of depression

I'd rather not, just about to finish my TEFL course then i'm applying for work in Korea, and can make a whole new life for myself

gotcha. i definitely wouldn't think of FL when someone says they're from the south, haha. but i guess it is.

but yeah, environment plays a huge role. my workplace back in MO was full of miserable people. like, all they did was dwell on how much stuff sucked for them. it was stifling, especially since they were my only irl friends.

i don't think i could do school, though. definitely here to party my butt off.

I had trouble with connecting with people all my life. Thought that I made some good friends during my last semester of college. They all ignored me during our college graduation yesterday, then didn't invite me to the party afterwards. I finally realize that they never liked me and just used me for help with their course work.

At least I now have a nice piece of paper that took me four years to get.

I've really been thinking recently: Why shouldn't there be a legal means for suicide? I mean, they want you to stay alive to vote for them and get tax money. What if I could pay up-front? I'll just give a lump sum of money to the gov as "forward taxes". There is no good reason to live, I'm just someone smart enough to realize it. Why can't I check out? I hate it here anyway.

if u have trouble connecting, fake it.

you fell for the liberal city meme, that's all. make money and then move back to literally any conservative/homogenous city and you'll be much happier.

go home trump fan

Easier said than done user

i disagree, but i'm a good actor and i enjoy being around people because i like when people like me. *shrug*

are you okay?

Oh, it;s no big thing. I'm just done with living. It's not some dramatic "Woe is me" thing. I'm just not interested in anything here anymore. I have nothing to stay for, so I'm basically looking at ~40 years of drudge for no gain. I'm of not real use to anyone, so why can't I leave? It's that simple.

>mental or physical ones?
Both.

Apparently a big sign is trying to make yourself unattractive. I've not ever been able to handle people showing an interest in me (I still can't) so I let myself go something wicked. I've brought it up with my crazy doctor and she said it wasn't surprising, considering what I've told her, that I did it. This adds a whole new layer.

There's heaps of other things but I can't think too properly at the moment. I'm thinking about all the thingsI do/have done that meet the signs and symptoms. I sucked my thumb until I was 14 (only stopping because we nana said it was time I did) but that's a big sign too, regressive childhood behaviour or something.

>during my junior year of college
Was that when you first got sexually active per chance?

Thanks.

I have to keep my head above water because I have a bit of a saviour complex and want to help people, guess not surprising why, but I can't let this eat at me because then 'they win'.

They won't.

Just move to a big city that's not depressing as fuck. Or move back to Texas. There are cities there. Move to Houston.

I put my dog bro of 10 years down on Tuesday
And every workout since has been really lackluster
I don't feel like I have enough energy for anything

Do it man, Colorado is literally the opposite of what that guy was saying about Washington. So beautiful, but without the rain and people are ALWAYS out doing stuff, low crime rate depending on where you are (though a high cost of living is here too), and everyone is as friendly as in the south

meh, i personally made so many more strides in my personal life and happiness by being my own therapist than i ever have in traditional therapy. and my folks had me in therapy from age 10. i think being in that system is what helped fuel my obsession with my "disorders" and the "signs and symptoms" and all of that nonsense. i finally stopped seeking help from the mental health community at 24. i need to do things my own way, i guess.

but it's interesting, cause i've always been the opposite. i became obsessed with being as attractive as possible. but anyway, the first thing that helped me was finding something that i was good at and that i loved to do. you've gotta have something, bro. for me it was music, and everything just snowballed from there. i'm far from perfect--and i know that i'll have to keep working on myself for my entire life, essentially being in a constant self-therapy session--but i'm happier than i ever have been.

youtube.com/watch?v=3sjxQPonVy0

What was his name? What was he like?

A couple days ago I dropped some LSD. It wasn't my first time so i was confident i could handle it.

Boy was i fucking wrong. After smoking a bowl I began having god-like delusions and thinking about death and suicide. eventually i convinced myself that the trip was never going to end and i had to kill myself to escape the unholy cycle i was trapped in. Eventually my buddy gave me an anti-psychotic and things started to get better.

The day after, i smoked some more ganj but I had a horrible panic attack, the first panic attack i've ever had in my life. I felt like I was dying.
Now i just feel generally more anxious and restless and it's hard to concentrate on things. My plan is to stay sober for a while and start doing cardio to flush my system and raise my mood.

Will this new anxiety ever go away?
please tell me it gets better

sleep schedule utterly ruined because i cant sleep at night
0% motivation to do literally anything , from studying, to video games and going to the gym
studying or spending time on anything has become a physically impossible act.
friends being cut off
life slowly ruined
no escape in sight

what else is there to say?

nah man, my family went there once for vacation when I was 13 and I thought it was beautiful and I got such a great feeling from Seattle. this was 10 years ago. obviously it's shit though.

Because if they gave people the means to do it legally there would be a metric fuckton of people who would use it. You underestimate how many miserable people there are in the world.

many miserable people would not commit suicide, regardless of the legality. legality has very little, if not jack shit, to do with a depressed person's decision to end it. oftentimes, miserable people enjoy being miserable in a reverse way. often times, too, miserable people want someone to notice, more than anything.

the folks who want to kill themselves WILL, regardless.

>the folks who want to kill themselves WILL, regardless.

That's just it though. A major barrier to suicide actual act of doing it. People fear pain. They fear what would happen if they fuck it up. People in certain countries don't have access to firearms. Even those who try to do it don't always succeed. And there's also legal ramifications for it such as city fines/cleanup fees and possible life insurance issues because of it.

If there was a 100% legal foolproof method to do it in a comfortable setting you really don't thing tons of people would jump at the chance?

ah, i didn't realize that "legal" also meant "quick and painless." then... maybe? if it were more sure-fire than swallowing pills, perhaps.

Agreed man. I didn't seek therapy until after a monster of a breakup many years ago, it gave me a few tools to help deal with being miserable but really the decision that changed everything for me was that i was sick of being sad all the time, I actually hated it and wanted to change from within.

Nah, I had my first voluntary sex when I was 13.
I walked into a bathroom where two people were fucking in a stall and being sodomized in a bathroom stall as a child came rushing back.
I started sweating and felt absolute terror, wanted to run away from there and break down the door and kill the people on the other side all at once.
Weird feels man. I just wanna feel human.

Yeah I was there in winter and it was a blast, just gotta figure out how to get in after doing fuck all for 9 months here in the Windy City.

>captcha select mountains

Thank you for your words God Emperor of mankind

I've lived here my whole life and don't have any friends. Yeah it's beautiful, but other than that, why would you want to live here? Look at what we are known for:
Grunge
>everything sucks is it's message

Coffee
>pump me full of caffeine to even keep me awake here

Planes
>let's get the fuck out of here

And now we have a bunch of retarded weedie tourists

Oops, meant to reply to you

youtube.com/watch?v=8Ty6XqzvJx0

This MDE video REALLY nails it hard

>tfw mental gains are skyrocketing but physical gains are stalling

It's like I can only have one or the other.

That's not what depression feels like.

this is what depression feels like

>shoulder injury
>take a month off upper body exercises
>could barely just crank out 135 for 3x5 tonight on bench

Lost gains are so depressing

Don't talk about my wife like that - WA is a top-tier state.

no matter how much i lift ill never be with her

nothing makes me feel good anymore. i don't have any energy. i can't sleep. i've had enough of this life.

go see a doctor

I'm not depressed; I just don't feel anything at all.

I don't remember the last time I felt excited or cared something. On the bright side, it feels good to have finals coming up and not even feel an ounce of pressure despite not studying the entire month. I can just easily cram 40 hours in two days with indifference and it doesn't matter-- I don't care if I pass or fail, I do it because I have an obligation to.

I feel like this indifference has spread to all areas of my life. Just a month ago, I was in my friend's car in the passenger seat and a truck veered left into our lane and nearly flattened it. I saw it coming and I quickly realized that I was probably going to die and this was certainly impending doom, but then I realized I'm already practically dead.

At least I'm not all mopey and sad all the time . It's really easy to workout, study language, ect every day when you're on full auto-pilot.