How to Pass a Drug Test

So lads I smoked hookah last Thursday and then shared a small blunt (0.5 g or so) with someone on Sunday. I hadn't smoked at for four or five months preceding these occasions. Do you think I'll be clean for a urine test by Friday?

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K... KEEP ME POSTED

You're 100% fucked
Unless you get clean piss and hope they don't check on DNA

Start detoxing. Drink a metric fuck ton of water. You need to piss every 20 min basically. Do that every day until the test. And before the test, drink a ton of water. And when you go to pee in the cup, piss first into the toilet, then a little in to the cup.

I smoke once in a blue moon, and I've passed tests the same week I smoke.

do they watch you piss?

if they don't, purchase piss online

This.

To add to it take some niacin. I don't actually know if it helps but every time I have had to test and it has been close, I've taken some and and passed.

Yer fucked OP. I'll sell you my piss though.

I once went to high school with the biggest fuck up ever, dumbest piece of shit I've ever seen. He was in foster-care but still attended public school as long as he passed scheduled drug tests didn't have any disciplinary action at school. This guy did everything, weed, coke, exc whatever, I'm not an expert on this shit. Anyways end of year happens and everyone gets shit faced does drugs at a giant field party, even this idiot. He gets an invoice for the next day to do a drug test the following day. He reads online somewhere to drink a fuck ton of white vinegar. The dude downs over 3 and 1/2 liters in one night, comes to last Monday of school almost dead. Couldn't even walk he was so sick. HOWEVER, he somehow passed his piss test.

Go to your local headshop and ask for a detox drink. Follow the instructions. I've used them multiple times and they always work; it's just a fuck ton of vitamins which masks anything else in your piss. The nurses always know cause my pee is neon but there's fuck all they can do if I pass. They always say "wow you must take a lot of vitamins" to which I respond: "yea I'm a nutritionist." Lmfao brehs

Are seriously so autistic that you don't have a friend you can ask for clean piss? They'd notice if it wasn't warm so unless you have a fucking mini microwave in your car you're SOL

he'll be fine you plum
weed only stays in the system if you're a regular smoker, it clears out in 3-5 days if it's once or twice.

You're probably fucked, but I'd recommend buying a couple take home kits and those system flush drinks. If by Thursday you're not clean skip the test and say you're out of state for a week long vacation.

If you're lean and get a decent sweat in every day you're probably fine, what's this drug test for?

I don't know, but keep me posted

Pre employment for a summer job. It's not super urgent cause i could simply "forget" on Friday and go Monday instead the only downside would he raised eyebrows from my manager. I'll probably drink tons of water and take a home test on Friday morning and if I pass go take the real one

They check for water dilution where I'm from. When I was a smoker I drank nothing but water and before I tested, I would take b12 vitamin to give my piss color so it didn't look like I was trying to water dilute.

I work in a bong shop.

>drink a shit tonne of water
>vitamin b12
>work out extensively. Tch gets stored in fat cells.
>eat clean
>get a detox drink and take it 2 hours before the test
>if urine is light in colour take b12
>get a test kit and test before you go to be sure

I've also passed a test in exactly this way.

You'll probably be alright, a lot of jobs don't care about marijuana, they more care if you're taking drugs like meth or barbiturates

wtf is this shit about them caring about the color of your piss? Never heard of someone giving a drug test to be concerned if you drink a healthy amount of water

Ive taken several tests before and there's a check box on the bottles for "dilute" samples. i think it's just a sight thing and they reject them because they know they won't be able to detect shit even if there's something in there

Dont try to "detox" by working out esp if your on a low carb keto diet.The thc will be released back into your blood trust me I stopped smoking and after 2 months checked and passed a legit home test I started eating low carb and failed big time

Drink alot of water I heard creatine helps to
B vitamin complex
Prune juice
Apple cider vinegar

lmao so what the fuck are they gonna do when you take another and its "diluted"? what a fucked system

Take 5g of creatine, one liter water, niacin, and vitamin b complex. Take a big piss then take all these items. Be sure its 2-4 hours before test and keep drinking water on way to test. If scared, take more creatine or preworkout. Worked for me.

>works in a bong shop
>calls it tch
Okay pal

Have you considered doing an oil change?

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If you know that you've got a test coming up why would you smoke? You don't deserve a job, you're too thick and probably a liability to functioning people.

Drink lots of water more than a gallon a day, exercise, antioxidants are your friend, and if you have access to a sauna or a steam room use that shit

Similar situation smoked today probable test monday what do

Is this an American only thing?
I'm a from the islamic British emirate and I've never heard anyone need to do a drug test for their job.

Did a test last Thursday.

Drink lots of water, LOTS. They know this though, so if it's basically water from your dick they'll make you retake it. The truck is 1 hr before take 2-3 multi vitamins, it adds good color to your penis water.

Don't buy anything like these try hards say. The trick is dilation.

how about you dont smoke if you know you have a drug test you fucking retard

Nigga. No. I. Don't. Want. To. Think. Of. That. Shit. Again.

study real hard

actually they test creatinine conc. for the dilution so you could just overload creatine and not come back diluted. if you could take enough for your kidneys to concentrate it in your urine.

Maybe three scoops before bed every night

There is only a few things you can do to pass a drug test.
Either avoid the test.
Submit fake urine or someone elses urine.
Or try to produce your urine as clean.

Third option is easier. THC is stored in fat. I have read that if you eat lots of fatty foods, and slow your metabolism down, a good percentage of clean fat ends up in urine rather than THC stuff.

Also, the dilution method is classic. Take vitamin B tablet earlier in day so urine is a bit yellowish. Drinking lots is only really needed the day of the test .

These methods have worked for me. I passed in 4 days once.