/qtddtot/

What was your problem then? Tight foreskin?

to the point that i couldn't get it to slide back, got a cut down the middle to open it up, healed oretty good, loooks a bit wierd though

I can only not slide mine back when I'm fully erect and my dick is dry, otherwise it goes back. Maybe I need to stop wanking so intensely, or even at all for a while

Both my left bicep and triceps are bigger than my right, but also weaker. What do? Also how2fix asymmetric upper pecs?

145ish bodyweight, on candito's lp so I had recently deadlifted 320x6

Was doing dumbell curls at the end of my workout today, put the weight down and my left upper trap slowly got tighter and tighter
It's now pretty sore and I can feel it when I move my neck side to side and hurts like fuck if I try to stretch it out

What the hell did I do? Curls, not even once

I'm going to take 2 mg Lorazepam and drink a beer tonight. Gonna die?

yes, from pussyness

Been sick with a cold for a few days, been missing my lifts because i'm not a huge asshole to go to the gym while sick.
Any tips on getting better quicker? I'm mainly eating soups and drinking tea non stop.
Should I stay away from the gym for a few days after i'm better to make sure I don't infect anyone else?

foam roll, stretch, ice bath, stretch again.
but mostly, exercise, it's proven to relieve doms.

how do you all find the time to do everything required for bulking?

i am taking summer classes rn and it is really hard to get all the calories in, and then do my hw and have time to lift before the gym closes

any tips on this?

GOMAD was invented for you.

If not, just make some protein powderless shakes a couple times a day.

Oats, peanut butter, milk, yogurt, cottage cheese, banana, and whatever else you want

Are my hips abnormal or wide?

188cm 32 inch jeans

Thanks

Its like molding clay except it takes a bit longer. You have to keep working the clay until you form a sculpture.

Quit cheating on your diet and sleep more. Get those test levels checked. Also lower your body fat.

Dont think about cumming, just enjoy the sensations. Once you do that you'll be able to cum.

Take snacks to class. Also try drinking your calories. Its really not that difficult to find time to eat.

hi Veeky Forums

I'm a trans girl, and I used to swim a lot. Luckily my legs + butt got quite a bit of muscle, but on the flip side my arms and shoulders got huge.

How do I burn this muscle off and make it less bulky looking? I can't seem to find much advice about making muscles smaller...

nope, you're going to sleep well.

Should I just eat at maintenance?
I feel definitely like I'm a little chunky at 174 but my lifts are pretty babbyweight for 3 months of lifting and I don't want to have trouble progressing

Slowly grinding away to 4/3/2/1, want to get my bench up to 100kg for reps soon as possible, what routine will help me accomplish this fastest?

I can train every day and have a decent work capacity, but my chest is so shit i really want to focus on it and fill it out.

Currently repping 170lbs for 3x5. I've done a cycle of smolov jr.

My suggestion is a 200 calorie surplus. Why, because you can continue to make gains and progress on your lifts while keeping the body fat around the same level it is. You'll have to accept the fact that you will put on some additional fat in order to make additional muscle mass.

Don't attempt to progress on maintenance, shit will slow your progress(past noob gains) down by a lot. Bulk/Cut cycles are quicker.

Quick Math:

3500 calories= about 1lb of body fat
3500/200 = 17.5

So it will take you 17.5 days to put on a pound of body fat. This isn't exact science but an estimation.

How often should you re-calculate your TDEE as you're losing weight? I started at 215 and I'm down to 195 over the past two months, and I'm still losing but it's slowed down. I'm not sure if it's just that I'm past the beginner water weight phase or if I need to cut it another hundred calories.

My traps insertions are making my head stay too much forward? What can I do? It's not because of my posture, if I try to keep it where it should be my traps start suffocating to death my neck.

it's not your insertions m8 it's kyphosis, start doing face pulls and stretching your pecs.

Can anyone recommend a good, simple heart rate monitor?

All the ones I saw for sale have all this fancy GPS shit, all I want is something bulletproof reliable and simple to make sure I'm keeping the right pace in Cardio.

I just shat out liquid. I'm supposed to go to the gym in 30mins for a heavy lower body workout. Should I skip the workout or risk anal leakage while squating and diddlying?

Inb4 just use a buttplug.

Same suggestions as given, but also EAT. And sleep. Both of those will accelerate your healing tremendously. If you are in ottermode and think you're eating enough, you're probably not.

Did I do good Veeky Forums

that depends user. did you fuck her?

>do ppl rest on Sunday
>work at planet memeness weekends overnights
>suddenly it's my job to lift and clean 60+ treadmills myself
>just finished the first night of doing said task
>it was like deadlifting while picking up and squatting while putting down
>basically no rest day now

Is this bad?

No but I grabbed her ass and straight told her what I wanted.

One day isn't gonna matter
Skip
Every 4lb
Eat at a deficit and don't train em
Vitamin c supposedly helps with colds. You're good to go once you're okay.
Probably bad form. Try those gels/sprays with painkillers. Traps are a very strong muscle group and hard to fuck up.
You shouldn't exercise after donating blood.
Do your cardio. 600 deficit is good.
Hopefully it's just soreness

It's every weekend from now on aka my rest day normally

Are suitcase diddlys a meme? I watched a youtube video on them and half the comments were saying they are bad for your hips and whatnot.

Would a low volume PPL with linear progression be a good routine for a begginer who doesn't want to train legs too often?
I'm cycling and running a lot and I don't really want to squat 3 times a week. This could mess with my performance and possibly ruin my knees with so many leg activities. I already have t-rex physique anyway.

>routine has the word legs in it
>wants to neglect legs

Are you retarded?

Retarded as fuck question, I know, but does anyone have like a list of... "features" (I guess you would call them) that a body can have?
Things like
Chest gap
Dimples of Athena
Zipper abs
Vag abs
Adonis belt
Winged scapula

Been a week out of the gym
Last time i managed 95 kg 5x5 squat
Can i put 100 this time even though i havent trained for a week ?

I didn't say that I don't want to do them at all, I just don't want to do them 3 times a week.

Then don't hahahahhahahahhah

Buddha's briefcase
3D delts
Roidgut

You're still not answering my question. I asked if a low volume push/pull training with linear progression makes any sense for beginner

Beginner here.
158lbs@5'9 ~18%bf (skin caliper)
After initially making some beginner gains on a 1700kcal cut, I wanted to gain muscle faster so I've been trying to go on a bulk for a month now with 2500kcal, which according to most calculators is 300kcal above mainainance for me. However, I have not gained a single pound since I started but my lifts have improved. Is this my actual maintainance level and is there any sense in me adding another 300 calories to my daily intake to go on a clean bulk? Like I said, I'm still pretty satisfied with my beginner gains. Just last week I reached 1pl8 bench and 1/2pl8 ohp.

Beginner here, started making changes to my diet and so far things are looking pretty good. Trying to cut out juice and soft drinks (never drank that many fizzy drinks in the first place really), but my problem is that I really fucking love apple juice.

I just wanted to know if you guys think it's feasible to wean myself off of apple juice by drinking nothing but sparkling water (started drinking it recently, love it over regular water) or if the carbonation in the water is just going to make me want soft drinks again. Question is dumb af

>is picking things up and putting them down 6 days a week good for a beginner

Haha classic user

how do you guys eat canned tuna?

what do I do to make it taste less like canned tuna?

Mix it with tomato sauce. Ketchup works fine, too.

>tfw allergic to fish and can't eat canned tuna
it sucks man

What is gyno?

mashed it with an egg and drowned in tomato sauce

works, thanks m8

What do you guys do about the mercury poisoning?

Are there any bodyweight excercises that train legs well? I've been doing pullups and stuff and my upper body is developing nicely but my legs look like chopsticks

don't be a pregnant woman

don't eat it every day

Jumping squats,split squats,ball hamstring curls,single leg calf raises on a step
Puffiness around the nipple
Why not try an apple instead?
You really shouldn't be bulking over 15%bf. Eat as you are and focus on lifts. In the longer term calipers might help.
Don't.
Warm up in a pyramid and see what you can handle.

Don't listen to bulk-sayers. You are fat as fuck and on your way to becoming a literal meme. Cut until 10-12%.

this

Will my face get wider if I leave skellymode?

Is there a big difference between 3x5 and 5x5 ?

3x5 is better for maxing, 5x5 is better for 90% upkeep

So, If I am trying to lose weight, then 3x5 would be better?

I'm having sex for the first time in about 9 months tonight, about to hit the gym. Any advice on what to do to improve sexual health?

Pfft you have no idea

If done with same intensity, the difference is that 5x5 is more volume, meaning it is harder, makes more gains and takes longer to recover from.

Try to smell very good.
Put on a good fragrance, girls love that.

Just fucking put it in. Or do you have some legit problem that doesn't allow you to have sex?

Shoulder dislocates with stick are supposed to be the goat exercise for shoulder mobility.
But it hurts my elbow before I feel anything in my shoulders.
From what I can tell it's the tendon from the long head of the triceps.

Anyone have any idea what it could be and what I could do to get rid of it?

I have no elbow pain outside of this.

And I really need to do those dislocates cause my shoulder mobility is utter shit.

What's a good way to fix my sleep pattern? I wake up fine on days where I have to go out and do stuff but on weekends etc. I sleep until noon or later. I'm on antipsychotics and they tend to make people sleep more.

It can only get fatter. If you are like Auschwitz-mode skelly it will make it look better, but if you're just normally skelly, it probably will look worse.

When someone goes "I can lift X/Y/W/Z", is the order OHP/Row/Squat/Deadlift?

Like 1/2/3/4

OHP/Bench/Squat/Deadlift

How do you guys respond when normies ask you how much you lift? No specific lift, just the most vague question. Like are they trying to ask exactly how much I lift through the entirety of the session? Why are they so dumb?

ive read that there are few protein powders, 2 of them being:

1 with with quick action, good just after training
1 with long action, good before bed

what are some good food with the same long action to develop muscle overnight?

Because someone who doesn't lift isn't going to know how wildly max rep weight can change between exercises.

They think someone has a certain strength level, and if you can lift a certain weight, no matter how you accomplish that, then it means "I can lift X"

I just reply with my deadlifting weight since it's always the highest lift.

Hi could you guys please rate my routine?
Im 6`2 skellington mode
The trainer at the gym gave me this:
3x12 on everything
1 min rest
chest press machine
butterfly machine
OHP machine
row machine
lat pulldown
leg press machine
biceps
triceps
ab machine
Is this OK for a beginner or would you change something?
Sorry if my english is bad im german

are wrist curls just a meme? i just want massive forearms, I already do deadlifts.

Don't arch your back and don't jerk the weight up. Load your arms before lifting.

How often do you cut?
How long do you cut?
How much fat do you lose in a month?

How much slower will maintenance be ?

My weigh-ins in the mornings are always -+5lbs, body fat percentage as well.

Is this normal and should i average it over weeks ? Shouldn't i be eating the night before to avoid this and get more accurate measures ?

when you go on a cutting cycle, do you also start lifting lower weight/higher reps?

Cause id never heard that before, and some guy who worked at my gym told me I should.

>implying deadlifts solely workout forearms

it's not a meme, user. Go for it.

very normal. Don't be held back by a 32 inch waist

If I'm only doing bodyweight exercises at the moment, should I still wait 48 hours between workouts?

If I train for soccer 3 hrs a day (1hr plyo/weight training, 1hr drills, 1hr pick up) will I run the risk for overtraining?

Body fat %?
Do I "look" dyel or fatty mcfat?

Germanbro here as well, but my German is shit, so I'll say it in English.

The best range is 3 to 4 sets,
and 8 to 16 reps.

if you can do more than 16 reps, your weight is too light.

is you can't do more than 8 reps, your weight is too heavy.

You don't look dyel, seen your type few times at the gym you look pretty big in clothes but fat naked.
I would estimate bfat at 25% or so.

you wan't to know what all of Veeky Forums would reply to that? Chicken... Seriously...

Try canned chicken with hotsauce

Um... no... Do them whenever the fuck you wan't

what honestly makes you think the waiting period for weight training (which is none, really) sets body-weight training apart?

Slow but steady cut is 1.5-2lbs a week. Minimal muscle loss

What are these effects of too much dietary fat?

Well I don't know, thats why I asked.