What the craziest shit you ever heard a girl say during sex?

>if you don't stop I'll charge you another hour

Girls and their crazy rambling.

>sansa doing public CBT

what the fuck?

How is this Veeky Forums related? Why are /r9k/ and /soc/ teaming up to raid Veeky Forums lately?

>Cum inside me. I want your babies.

Fucking insane dunk woman. And the crazier shit is that I actually did it like 3 or 4 times that night. Best sex I ever had, but dumb and risky in hindsight. She didn't get pregnant in the end.

>dont tell mom

'Somebody please help me!'

Crazy bitches amiright

kek

>ugh

And no, I'm not kyle kinane

nothing is more high test than a girl telling you to fill her up with your baby batter. You made it user

>hip drahve

"Yes, daddy"

context : she never called me daddy before, and she did because she was pregnant with my seed for 6 weeks, planning to abort it. we both knew that, and that's why the "daddy" thing was creepy.

>fucking your daughter

shakingmyhead

>fucking girl missionary like good christians do
>give her a light bite on shoulder
>she freaks the fuck out
>"god user please when i was little my dad was drunk and bit me please just dont ever do that again
>mfw

>Bush did 9/11.

Took my tower down.

Does she still call you daddy? I wish my girlfriend called me daddy, but she calls her actual dad daddy, so I can't really get the name without her getting all weird about it.

I'd rather fuck a skeleton than a land whale. Fat women seriously disgust me, I could lower my standards for anything but that. I mean like whale fat, not "a little bit too much meat on the bones". That is quite okay if they also have big tits.

just had this one with a girl i know from business school

>sitting in class bored as fuck, flirting with her a bit
>she looks me deeply in the eyes and says ''i wanna be pregnant''

brehs...
she has a bf too.
looks like someone gonna get cucked.

mitä se sano suomeks?

I came inside a girl throughout almost the entire duration of her pregnancy from another dude. Pretty weird but hot desu.

"Haluan raiskaaks"?

This girl I know calls me "daddy", does this mean she's into me?

"Want me to rape you?"

hyvä yrkkä :DD

COMMON IT'S [THE CURRENT YEAR]

That's why I stopped double fisting.

idk, she aborted yesterday, we'll see

>Diamonds

A girl said this to me at our high school's post graduation party where they lock all the seniors in a recreation center overnight. I walked away scared as fuck with the hardest boner of my life.
Crazy part was I didn't know if she was serious or not because people were fucking in the bathrooms all night.

>"YOUR DICK TASTES GOOD"
She whispered it in my ear.

"What's the deal with airplane food?"

should've bagged it up and prayed to the lord.

i told this girl that i'd pull down her pants and fuck her right there in class if she ever said that to me again.
fuck i really want to put my penis into her.

>Where am I?

Spicy salsa thread?

"Fuck me harder, Chad"

I am not Chad

>

"Don't worry, user. I'll never leave you. I'm stuck to your right arm after all"

>fuck yes give me that power pole!
started hearing youtube.com/watch?v=X7kZVH849Eo in my head and started wondering if I've reached general Blue mode yet. I figured I had better legs, I turned my head and looked at my glutes and hamstrings from a mirror. I started flexing them a bit and was pretty impressed how good they look. Flexed my back a bit as well since I don't often see it. She snapped me back to reality by asking what the fuck was I doing since I had stopped fucking her some time ago and was just there flexing staring at myself nodding to myself with my dick still in her

I said I was sorry and went home to watch couple of dragon ball episodes while eating cold sausages, for nostalgias sake

...

''FUCK ME LIKE DADDY USED TO''

Which i replied good girl you little slut.

Gotta roll with it lads.

yeah I've had kind of the same

>Fuck me like Jamal used to!
I removed the condom came in and stole her TV

"idk if I can do this I mean I bet you have sex with a new girl every week"
>lol you clearly don't know me then

I asked her what she wanted me to do and she said "bend me over"

Pretty tame desu but it gave me an instaboner

Nothing too crazy. But I guess these are the ones that surprised me/ I wasn't expecting at the time.

>Why have you never went this deep before?
Confused me because I always go balls deep because I don't have a huge cock. It was a strange scissor-leg type position. I guess thats a tip for any small dick bros

>Make more noise
Didn't help because it made me feel conscious of what noises I was making and ended up being silent for the rest of it. Heard her say it a few more times

>Am I doing it good?
HNNNNG considered marrying her just for that. But then blew my load and changed my mind

>Hit me "what?" I want you to slap me
Current GF. Surprised me because she never mentioned anything like that before. Felt good to slap her in the face for the first time. But after doing it a few different times, I am now worried about it. I feel the need to slap the shit out of her. Which I don't want to do. And she obviously don't want it. But I dunno mang. I just do it occasionally in a soft way.

>Tell me what it feels like
Didn't tell her. Didn't know what it even feels. Just stopped eventually when she kept asking.

so you were fucking her from outside?

it's the jackass' dude

Hahaha, should have stabbed her too.

I once ended up becoming a dom because i blagged that i was a dominatrix to a woman at a bar once.

That night things got cray cray.

>tell me what it feels like
what the fuck

I hate fucking drunk women because they just started screaming their heads off and it's annoying as fuck, reminds me of fake porn shit

you should get her to dominate you sometimes

"fuck me like my daddy used to"

and then she broke down and started crying. I couldnt even finish even though she told me it was ok and we could keep going.

>giving your unborn child a facial
it's a good thing you aborted it, it must be traumatizing on some kind of molecular level

...

Don't give me feels, mang

Greentext or it didnt happen

You're both trash.

>"fuck me like my daddy used to"

>stop it, uncle

"Hit me again"

"My husband has never fucked me this well"

"Hold me down, I want to struggle and fail"

"Choke me"

"Harder"

And the list goes on. All the women I've been with have loved a mix of rough/dominant/sometimes violent sex where they can truly feel submissive and helpless with tenderness, emotion and safety. One of the best bits was spanking and choking the married slut while fucking her from behind and whispering what a dirty slut she was, that her husband could come home and find us at any moment, how I'd fill her up so she'd drip through her panties after I was done with her and so on.

Great fun.

>It's so BIG
It's not really
>You're gonna kill me

>I don't care. Cum inside me! It's not like he'd be able to tell the kid isn't his anyway!

>I'd fill her up so she'd drip through her panties after I was done with her

This is my fetish.

>you make me feel so full

yeah nothing crazy

>you are not very good at this..

it was my first time

>you make me feel like a natural woman

That's something I'd want to hear

How about the only thing I've heard in bed with girls?

>not tonight, sorry

git gud

confirmed for white

are you the kind of guy that asks
"can i kiss you" before kissing a girl?

When you have intimate relations does it feel like when you visited santa at the mall when you were a child?
>what do you want fella
>i want a blowie and a train and maybe a dildo
>were you a good boy?
>sure santa! Is there anything you want?
>bend me over
>wew

What did you do wrong?

>tfw mullato BBC nigga

Ayyy jdimsa

what am i reading

All you gotta do to fix this is get into a different position. Try doggy, or have her lay down on her side and cone from the back.

>"Jesus fuck, every time you go all the way it feels like my eyes are going to pop out, but in the best way."

>"You do it better than I do it to myself."

Also had a girl come so hard from me going down on her she passed out.

Scared the shit out of me, I thought I'd killed her.

I was very drunk, tired and since I was a 24 years old virgin not really good at creating hot atmosphere.
We were in a Korean motel and I guess I took to long to start things and that's what she said. After that I started eating her pussy and when I tried to pentrate her my dick wasn't hard enough so after like 10 minutes we stopped. Never seen her anymore, she was not Korean btw.

/blog

>"I love the way you fill me up."
>Bites my ear.
>"And how it hurts just a little bit."

>Drunk
>First fuck

Wew lad what could go wrong

>HAHAHAHHA
apparently it was her first orgasm in awhile she said

Some club sloot I was fucking called me by her dead brother's name. I did cum as soon as she said it, so it kinda made me feel weird.

lol I was supposed to go get donuts with her the next morning, but I just ended up bailing on her as soon as she went to sleep.

but w/e her pussy was still 10/10

Kek

this body is really nice. mind if i save it?

holy shit

tis all yours my dear friend

;D

>aborting is degenerate! every life matters!

kys

This isn't how you're supposed to do it? How am I ever gonna get laid then?

You first

Most first fucks are drunk
Especially so with us autismos

I dated a high test solid 7 for a few months when I lived in DC. Best sex I ever had.

>oh baby fucking beat that pussy
>yeah fucking shoot that wad inside me
>fucking cum for me baby yeah
>this pussy's all yours daddy
>shoot it all inside me
>oh yeah every last drop
>mmm gimme that nut baby
>oh yeah get it from the back
>fucking pound that pussy baby
>shoot it raw in my pussy baby
>fill me up with your nut

It was awesome. I only ever saw her Friday and Saturday nights after I was done drinking with the boys, then I'd stick dick to her gash from 2AM until 6. Not all at once, but I glazed every bit of her body with a wad, and she asked me to.

It's not like I had much opportunities till then but considering the girly was 5/10 at best and I never saw her again it didn't strike me too hard.
Atleast now I know a lot of things that I should do and that I shouldn't.

>Shhhhhhhhhh you might wake user