Performance anxiety/Depression

Stay away from porn and jacking off if you do it too much. Try to stick to doing it like once a week without porn if you need to. If you are attracted to this new girl then getting it up should only be a problem of too much jerking it.

If you aren't really attracted to her then I'd break up. You shouldn't jump into a new relationship if you aren't ready, it's like putting a band-aid on a broken leg. You didn't really give a time-frame to judge.

Otherwise it will just take time to get over the old girl. Gotta move past it.

Dude i havent watched porn/fapped in weeks.

I feel 0 desire. My libido is gone

Yes, meditation is a very significant component to maximizing ones potential in pretty much any area, but the paradoxical effect is that it can be equally difficult to keep consistent. Concentration meditation is the first pillar to learn. The Fine Arts of Relaxation, Concentration and Meditation would be a helpful book to begin practice. Marijuana is very helpful for entering a creative state of mind and feeling capacity, I find, and it can be great to feel your body deeper too, but I'd say moderation is probably best if you don't smoke much.

Speak to a CBT

Also, don't forget that when you feel ready the major compound lifts will surely help raise your libido.

Thanks bruh, I do feel ready for workouts tho. Will try

maybe you like dudes

I agree with this user, speak to a cognitive behavioral therapist. I have the same type of anxiety as you have, but instead of sex it's related to food/eating and fear of illness. I relate strongly to the way you describe your thinking, and for me the only thing that's helped me cope was the time I period I spent seeing my university's CBT/Psychologist. I'm still a wreck sometimes but she helped me talk it out and taught me some ways to function in stressful situations/ not have panic attacks in restaurants and all that fun stuff.

You're going to have to overcome some stuff and nothing is going to make you instantly "better," but you can deal with this. Best of luck, user.

Thank you very much. So there is a way to cure it.
But since my issue is sex related wouldn't it be better to talk so some sextherapist?

Dude 0 desire. For both genders

Also I was/am in this state for the last 7 months and watched my libido go down steadily.
After 6 years of healthy sexlife 7 months can't do this much damange, can they?

Try therapy, you're dealing with loss, it's hard to manage on your own. I'm in the same boat, fresh out of a 8 year relationship. Ended up cheating on me with another guy while I was deployed. Therapy is slowly and I mean snail-slow helping me cope. It's the only thing I look forward to every week right now.

Things that helped me : finding ways to get out of the house, lift/work/volunteer, as well as actually feeling the emotions when they hit you. If you feel like crying like a baby back bitch you gotta do it, it's the only way to start healing.

Thank you so much.
The Problem I have with therapy is the cost. It's like 50 Euro/hr so after like 20hrs that would be 1000 euros...

And Yes I do.
I'm doing Eliot hulses 'dynamic Meditation' shit, where you have to let out all emotions. I usually scream my lungs out and cry like a bitch.

Hello user,
I could say I can suffer along with you in a way.
I think the problem here is to deal with the loss.
For me its pretty difficult.
After the end of my 4y relationship I started shaking, feeling week and stuff like this. I was trying not to stop gym, that would keep me sane after all.
8 months later, I started some kind of relationship with a new girl. I can't say that i'm completely healed but all it takes is time.
In addition I spent and I keep spending time with my pals. Walks, some drinks ( I don't drink actually), anyway you get the point.
Also, try to learn for yourself after this incident. (your break up). Try to introspect about you, walk a bit and think about your behavior and your actions.
Stay sane, keep it up user.

Yo dude i had the same problem with premature ejaculation- I get stressed out and cum instantly. My advice for u is to keep a small amount of weed for u to smoke before u slay the hoes. It helps with the anxiety and stress like nothing else. Plus it makes u a pornstar in bed.

You usually don't need that many sessions.

CBT usually just requires six sessions.

Thanks, I'll look for that. I know I can cure and actually use this opportunity to improve&grow

At least you don't have premature ejaculation. This shit is the worst m8. I nut within a minute

dude just jackoff an hour before in the bathroom or something.

You've linked arousal to anxiety.
Meditiate, get a massage, whatever, find a way to get yourself relaxed. Also, do cardio & maybe kegels to get the blood flowing, and stop with the porn.

Along with this, speak to a therapist if you're having panic attacks & anxiety.

>overthinking the situation and not focusing on the sexual energy of it all
>results boner asleep
>her not sucking you off until you are hard
>not enjoying a girl riding you

obviously you need fresh new stimulation from new women. date different types. get in different circumstances. the most exciting sex for me is when i met the woman that day and don't need to do all that dating bullshit in between.

I did, but there is much more.
Luckily my ex GF is willing to help me trough this but even next to her I feel 0 desire. I'm currently to stressed out, need to calm myself first.

Gotta think that last Week I couldn't even boner with porn!
Havent watched it since

Save money and fuck lots of hookers. Fuck hookers until you get rid of this shitty anxiety.

>Exactly what OP shouldn't do: The Post

Nice quads

Even if I've cum in the last hour or so I can't last

Get sildenafil or something similar. Talk to your doctor he will prescribe it to you. It works wonders on restoring your self-confidence and gets rid of the anxiety almost immediately. It worked for me and I only had to take it twice to be completely ok again. Fuck therapy and other crap, go for the pill.

you probably still depressed by the first gf, been there

hold on and keep trying with other girls breh, you doing it right, just have patience, nothing more you can do, love sucks

we are here if you need to talk another time again

youtube.com/watch?v=vGJTaP6anOU

Simple way that I dealt with mine was to buy some cialis pills. After I took three over the course of three days I regained my confidence.

Yeah mate I'm there to.

I had trouble having sex cus of foreskin being fucked, I'm operated now.

The stigma of not being able to get it up (when I was 16-17) has followed me to this day (24).

I get women, but they never excite me. I try to think "ok, get hard, get hard, get hard, get hard" and I block myself. Whenever I jack off its fine, im hard as diamonds. Even if I jerk of to the thought of the same girl I was in bed with.

It's like a brainspectre fucking with my head. I am trying constantly to meet women (with pretty decent success I'd say), but everytime I get anxious that I won't get hard. And everytime I worry, I don't get hard.

I now acquired some women and told them about my problem. I asked if they would like to fuck this brainspectre out of my head so I can just be a normal guy. They have actually all accepted the deal, strictly physical, and they see it as some challenge I guess. ("I was the women who made him hard, I must be the sexiest ever")

I am thinking about therapy. But I'm not sure. Last time I went to a psychologist to talk about my upbringing I ended up smashing my appartment. Twice.

I still believe there's hope. But I should probably just go to a CBT.

Any help is appreciated btw, I feel so alone in this.

Speaking about sexual health

>GF breaks up with me
>Suddenly feel the need to fap like 8 times a day
>Have raging boners like I used to when I was younger

lol wut

maybe you have a narrow urethra

I have spedra pills (which should work similar?) but they didn't work as good when I tried to fuck a hooker.

Thing is; if you are too stressed out in general there is nothing that will work. And I currently am.

I have Bad mood swings and wake up stressed every single day.

First I need to find inner peace. Then therapy. Then some pills maybe.

Go see a professional. Also, fuck her. She obviously wasn't worth an insta-boner. I have the same thing and just fill in that time with foreplay. Real chicks dig that even more.

It's all in your head. Once you realize.that it will get better. And I mean actually realize it.

Will either way best of luck man.

Stop masturbation and porn. It's tough but that shit fucks with your head mate. Get a girlfriend. Find a romantic girl that you can open up to and who will be sensitive to your issues. Once you feel like sex is going to happen, have a frank discussion with her about it. Hopefully she'll work with you and not pressure you.

I'm 21 and have never made out with a girl before.

This 18 year old on tinder is begging for the D, but im terrified of getting close to people because of a traumatic childhood.

Can girls tell when a guy has never made out before?

I figured I would just get drunk as fuck and have confidence, then it wouldn't matter.

I would probably have an anxiety attack sober, it sucks but whatever.

Current Body Thread?

I saw a therapist and it helped me a ton with my anxiety issues.

>Save money
>Fuck hookers

That sounds awesome.
I dont expect any 'wonders' but maybe some deeper understanding of myself

>stop masturbation

I'd disagree with this personally, I find no benefit to abstaining and I find it can damage libido.

>stop porn
I agree with this 100%. Once I quit I started getting horny way more often, and actually enjoyed masturbation rather than seeing it as a chore. Orgasms feel way better now. I'm able to get "more involved" when fucking as well, rather than just waiting for the orgasm.

Op here
I agree with this aswell.
But as long as I feel no desire, there is no reason to force myself to fap, no?

D-did you make it?

yeah you just care too much about sex dude.
t. 23y/o virgin

I'll abstain from sex totally for a while, but I want to break out of this stress cycle i am in.

I can live without sex. But I can't live without the ability to focus or enjoy other things like food, friends or a bar.

>I'm asking if anyone has gone through something similar and what could help?
A book? Therapy? Meditation?

Hey, user. I haven't gone through the same situation as you but I do have major depressive disorder so I know what it's like to feel like shit. Listen. Therapy won't fix everything. Mediation doesn't cure shit. A book can't save your life. I know this. I've done all of this. These things can all help immensely but they aren't remedies. Yeah, the wisdom I gained from reading The Myth of Sisyphus and Twilight of the Idols got me through some rough times and provided me with a ton of inspiration but it's not like, "Oh, hey, this guy has a point! My life is fixed now!" I had this idea in my head that if I just read this book or had this thing, my problems would be solved. It's not that simple, man. Meditation (or prayer or whatever it is that floats your boat), therapy, and reading good books all help and I encourage you to do all of that but they don't fix everything. YOU fix everything. You just keep fighting through it and getting better until one day, you wake up and you realize things aren't so bad anymore. It won't be easy but you're going to make it, man.

btw ignore the fact that Camus is smoking in that pic. That shit's bad for you.

Fucking see a psychiatrist

>getting my dick hard is your job, if you don't give my dick a rise I'm not the one with a problem

Then proceed to google hardcore gay porn and show her that you can get an instaboner.

Seriously tho why the fuck are girls mad at guys who don't get a hardon? we don't control it. If we don't get an erection you're just not that arrousing.

>straight guy can't get an erection by visualising his own erection

>order cialis online for mega boners and never worry about getting hard
>stop being so gay and emotional

Cheers.

Try erotic hypnosis tapes. I'm not kidding. Get your hands on some of Nikki Fatale's recordings and listen to them at least daily. After you see your body get aroused from just voice alone it becomes way easier to get it hard normally. Speaking from personal experience here famalam

Dude I have Spedra. It should be the same isn't it?

And if someone is as stressed as I am, so that I literally have 0 desire i can't imagine it will work.

I'm ready even though I'm not sure I know what it means.

Should I go on with my normal life, just add Meditation and Therapy on top and Start caring about other things?

My Main issue is that I'm constantly stressed. Will I ever be relaxed again?

I have the same problem user. With my first gf sex was great. boners here, boners there, anytime.

2nd girl I somehow stressed myself because I COULDN'T OPEN THE CONDOM. lost boner in the process, freaked out. girl went mad and didn't talk to me because she thought it "was because of her".

So everytime we tried I couldn't get a boner. Sometimes I had one in foreplay but lost it when I had to stick it in.

so the 3rd girl it was only semi hard but somehow it worked. And I even lasted for 15 min. Still everytime I had to something distracting I lost it. But I was 4 years together with her and with time it became fine.

I still can't have one night stands because of the thought that I could fail and make a total loser out of myself.

Got myself L-Arginin for libido and better blood flow. Have it for like 4 days so I can't say that anything changed. Somehow I'm to proud to go to a CBT or buy viagra. Will be the next step when I fail again.

>Should I go on with my normal life, just add Meditation and Therapy on top

I think that will help a lot. There are probably other things you could try that would help too. What are you passionate about?

If you think it's necessary, you could throw some quality literature too but sometimes that backfires on people. It depends on what sort of a person you are. For some, it just introduces a bunch of new problems about morality, meaning, politics, and all of that stuff. I think that there are a lot of benefits to reading philosophy but I also don't want you to get sucked into some sort of really depressing nihilistic worldview or get too focused on the bad things happening in the world. I mean, yeah, the lives of impoverished third world laborers are tragic and the forces in place that are oppressing them should be abolished but if you spend too much time thinking about that stuff, it can really get you down.

>and Start caring about other things?

You can just make yourself start caring about things? I wish I could do that. For me, the apathy has slowly eroded as I've improved my life. It wasn't a conscious, "Oh, I think things should start mattering to me now", sort of thing. If you have that kind of self-mastery, that's pretty cool.

>My Main issue is that I'm constantly stressed. Will I ever be relaxed again?

Yeah, I absolutely believe that you'll be relaxed again eventually. Continue your fitness journey, try to clear your mind every once in a while, and talk to a friend/family member/therapist about what you're going through. Depending on how serious it is, you might want to consider medication. I don't know all of the intricacies of your current situation so I can't really say whether or not you should do that. Only you know whether or not this is part of a larger mental illness. Remember, we're all just strangers on the internet. Only you know what's best for you.

I was always very passionate about games, but as soon as my selfdoubts started I stopped vidya completely.

Since the only thing I really cared about was the one thing I was denied: girls, I don't think I'll get sucked into a nihilstic thoughtpattern.

I don't really care about anything but my unfullfilled wish of 'being young & living life (which equals to banging sloots for me) since I couldn't do that 15-18 because of health reasons, after that had only 1 GF for 4 years and now this shit.
It's bitter to accept that I have to let go of this wish and just focus on New things.

Well it's hard to say. Currently I'm taking very mild anti stress pills for 2 weeks and have to look how I feel after. Truth be told my stress levels have been peaking in the last 3 months so badly that I couldn't even pee normaly. It makes sense that my body needs to recover from that.

Also; it all started 7 months ago. Sure I had complexes but was a happy Person overall thinking that my time will come.

I guess it was a matter of time tho. The unfullfilled wish of baging sloots (why I started lifting in the first place), the long relationship which caused a fixation, the thought that I always will have performance anxiety when meeting new girls, feeling incomplete as a man because of that.
It was a chainreaction. I'm putting way to much emphasis on sloots and sex in general. I always have and maybe that's where my logic went wrong.

Op here
It strongly depends on the girl and how she will deal with the issue. Now I know that. If she will say hurtful stuff or behave in a Bad way you won't ever feel good around her.

The thing that made me go crazy/depressed is that I lost confidence to boner again with even the sweetest most understanding girl. My libido is 0 atm.

At this point I'm depended on bj's to get hard and can fuck only raw.
Luckily I have my ex GF who is willing to work with me on that until sex becomes fun again.

There is hope.
Sex with ex
Meditation
Therapy
Werd
Etc.
I'll recover...

Yo

You'll make it

>speak to a cock and ball torturer
thank you based Veeky Forums
make sure you go to a male practitioner, just say no homo and you're all set