Going to the gym first time in my life next week and plan to work out 2-3x per week from then on...

Going to the gym first time in my life next week and plan to work out 2-3x per week from then on. I want to gain some muscles, right now I'm totally average looking (pic related). How do I even start? What machines do I use? How much exercises do I do? How long should a normal session take?

why do people come straight here for this advice?

i literally didnt even find Veeky Forums until i was a good 3 years into lifting

just google routines and watch youtube videos for form, then everything will fall into place

~350

Do an established beginner's routine like SS. Focus on form. Read the fucking sticky

this to be honest

SS + GOMAD

Well you should read the damn sticky, you know. It has some programs I guess, I haven't read that shit myself so I don't really know, but I can give you mine routine if you want, it's a powerlifting program, so here it goes:

>Day 1 - LEGS
*Squats 5x8 (do NOT count your warm up sets)
*Standing legpress? 4x8 (I don't really know how to describe this machine exactly, since I'm not from english speaking country, but it's angled)
*Hack squats 5x8
*Seated leg curl machine (seated and laying) both 4x8

Then you can do calves, biceps, forearms and abs.

>Day 2 - CHEST/SHOULDERS
*Bench press 5x8
*Incline bench press 5x8
*Dumbbell chest flys 5x8
*OHP 5x8 (you can do both, front press and press from behind or one day front, other day behind)
*Dumbbell shoulder flys 5x8
Then you can add more shoulder exercises.

>Day 3 - TRICEPS/BACK
*Dips 5x8 (put on as much weight as possible, because dips are amazing. If you can't do weighed dips then use little disks like 2.5kg, and do as much as possible, even if it's like 2 reps, or if you really can't do any dips at all, then just do dips w/o weight and try to go as deep as possible)
*Narrow bench press 5x8
*Skullcrusher 4x8
*Behind head skullcrusher 4x8
*Tricep pulldowns 5x10 (for a nice pump)
*Deadlift 4x3 (but it has to be heavy, or you could go till you reach max, but that should be once in a while.)
*Deadlift from boxes 4x3 (again it has to be heavy)
*Deadlift standing on a box 4x3 (same shit, but you can swap this with deadlift from boxes. One day on box other day from boxes.)
Then add some more back exercises, since I'm too lazy to translate and write the whole damn thing. Also you can add arms too.

>50g of protein
>surplus protein will turn to fat

Yep, that sounds legit.

>mfw imagining a beginner attempting all this shit

This is garbage

Also, since you're a beginner, don't go for one rep max, that's pointless for now. Sure, you can go and see how much you can do and then plan your working weight. Another thing, pay atention to what your trainer/wise old man/meathead or whatever is saying to you, you want to learn as much as you want about lifting, every bit of a good advice is one small step to your success. Last piece of free advice is this, don't I repeat DON'T put on much weight once you start. At first you want to learn how to do everything with a correct form, FLAWLESSLY. Once you learn that shit, then you can increase your weight and keep pushing yourself to the limit.

Well that's it, if you are serious about lifting, then in upcoming years you will learn a lot if you pay attention and you won't be an idiot. Now,good luck, brother!

/thread

>it's a powerlifting program

hmmmmm

newfag.jpeg

What's so "hmmm" about it?

Read the sticky

SS + GOMAD

Although I'd use my GOMAD modified routine which focusing solely on legs every other day. Don't do bench its a waste of time.

Make sure you're consuming upwards of 5000 calories per day.

Do this for 3-6 months and you will look amazing.

This is great advice OP.

kek

That's some good shit

This