Mowing the lawn today

>mowing the lawn today
>qt neighbor comes over to me
>"hey excuse me? Sorry, but I locked myself out of the house. There's an open window at the back, but I can't get to it. I was wondering if you could help me out?"
Sure, happens to me all the time. Where's this window?
>she leads me to the backyard
>damn she looks good in those short shorts
>mfw the window is at least 7ft high
>I'm only 5"6
Hmmm...alright haha...let's get you in there...
>mfw I miss the ledge grab on the first jump
>mfw I get it on the second jump
>mfw I forgot I can't do pullups
>I hang there for a few seconds wondering what my next move is
>fuck it I'll just go for it
>I pull myself up halfway and get stuck there
>arms starting to shake
>FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
>*braaap*
>fuck I hope she didn't hear that
>I decide to use my legs to push myself up
>push myself off the wall instead
Haha, damn this is hard
>"haha yeah it looks like it"
How bout I just boost you up?
>"uhm, okay, sure"
>give her a boost
>her thighs touch my cheeks on the way up
>nice
>"I'm in! Thank you so much!"
No broblem, glad to help :)
>go back to mowing lawn

How do I do pullups? I don't have access to assisted pull up machines so idk how to progressively get better at it. Would doing rows transfer over to pullups?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=mRznU6pzez0
reddit.com/user/kileyjay0311
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

Do lat pulldowns, inverted rows, and negatives.

youtube.com/watch?v=mRznU6pzez0

holy shit lmfao if that actually happened my god i would move

try negatives if you want to train pullups

back when i could only rep out 1-2 pullups, i focused on doing solely 3 sets of negatives

i can go around 15 after a year now

Jesus is it really gonna take that long? I've tried the negative tech before, but it's just so damn boring. Sticking to it is a chore.

move what?

Just tried negatives. My whole spine just popped. Is this normal? Am I dying?

I sped up the negative process by dropping weight at the same time. It's unreal what a difference 5lbs makes on a pull-uppy

residence

>best guess for this image: girl

Who is this hyperqt?

Buy a home pullup bar, do negatives, git gud

why?

Ever crack your fingers before

Basically, yes

Yeah actually it is pretty normal.

sounded embarrassing but if it wasn't then carry on my m8

My gf

most likely just your spine decompressing

i like doing dead hangs after squatting, then feeling my spine stretching out

almost like a DIY massage

Dont listen to that cunt. All you need to move is your benis in her begine.

Anyway negatives is a good way to start doing pull ups

Damn that feels good. Think I'll just do this and focus on weight loss for now cause even negatives are hard to control. Getting this weird popping on my right shoulder, feels like cartilage being teared up. No thank you.

God i fucking hate you op.
You sound like a bitch.
Stay up past your bedtime and listen to Chad smashing his cock into your girlfriends cervix!

*neighbor lol

>no gf

GTG. grease the groove.

1. never even approach failure
2. do constant sets throughout the day

if you can do 5 pull ups as a max, do 1 per set. if you can do 2 or less, do 1 negative. build up over time, every day. if you get DOMS you have ruined it due to training too hard. take an occasional day off. do about 50-100 reps per day, no mater how many sets this takes.

if you disagree, i refer you to tsatouline who out performs bw in comparison to americans. if you want to get strong, listen to americans. if you want to do pull ups, listen to tsatouline.

find the time and find the places to do pull ups. if you cant find either then listen to someone else.

you're not gonna make it unless you're doing negatives right now OP

depends on bodyweight, I weight 80kg and went from 0 pullups and 3 chinups to 20 chinups and 10 pullups in three months

LEAVE
LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK

Girls that look like boys make me feel funny down there.

I hate to break it to you, but that's what progressive overload is. It's what literally everyone on this board does.

Don't get me started on boys that look like girls. Hhhng

Sorry, I'm straight :(

So am I, m8. I just like boy pussy

If you're attracted to male (in the sexual sense, not gender) sexual organs (including anus) you're gay son.

This is the best advice in the thread OP

I wonder what the inside of her vagina would feel like against my unprotected penis.

You're 5'6 and can't do a pullup? Holy fuck breh, how weak are you? DYEL? Why are you on this board?

I'm sorry I remind you of yourself

Scooby actually has a really good video on this I used when I first started. Watch it

To get fit.

The girl is elementnumber22.

Holy shit you guys are fucking good.

Please don't show her this thread.

her waist-hip ratio is insane. woodwife/10

...

...

reddit.com/user/kileyjay0311

holy shit OP fucked up.

what is even going on. OP girl with the reddit link isn't element 22

...

Not op obviously but how fucked am I if I can't do negatives properly e.g. I can't hold myself up for any real length of time at all

Wait, what?

>the window is at least 7ft high
>I miss the ledge grab on the first jump
When I was 12 and 5'7 my standing reach was 7'6. You have a shit vertical and short stubby arms to be honest

>Implying it's OP

>I forgot I can't do pullups
dude

That is fucking thick. 10/10 would bury face in

This exact thing happened to me once, only when the woman showed me the window it was the top floor of a four story town house. Unless she thinks I'm spiderman, I have no clue how she would expect me - or any regular old human - to get into the window.

I just laughed and said "are you fucking serious?" then walked away while she stood there trying to flag down other passers by.

To this day I still think she's the stupidest person I've ever encountered in real life.

Lolol Manlet problems.

>q2 2016
>not doing pullups

Damn son you're retarded.

Thanks for the laugh user

Benis in bagina? :DDDDD

For real though op, post a pic of yourself. My brother is one of the least athletic people I know (5'8, 140 lbs, 22 yo NEET, never played sports in school or did any activity outside of playing video games) and I've seen him do three pull-ups once on a challenge.

I'd just swooce right in.

>Would doing rows transfer over to pullups?

They did for me, but I was starting at skinnyfat/skelly.

I don't remember how long it was in between, but I went from a max of 2 full pullups right before I started working out to 10 the next time I tried. I didn't do any pullups, just row variations and DLs as my pulling exercises.

slow negative pull ups (10 sec at least) and hold the top position chin over the bar for as long as you can without going to failure. also keeo doing rows separately