I've noticed a lot of Veeky Forums is really insecure

I signed up to fight for my country, the same one that hates my guts and is full of people who treat me like shit

The ideals I fight for are no longer held high by my nation, leaving my lonely and alone to fight the battles of those who would ostracize and hate me. I am unloved and making vain sacrifices for those who hate me; all I have is a relentless pursuit of perfection to put me to sleep.

And maybe, just maybe, I'll be so big that someone will love me

>orergano commento desu

What do for money?

; _ ;

holy fuck

i'm crying

I can't seem to find a way to live that would feel right or good. There is absolutely zero chances I can be happy if I have to spend 8 hours 5 times a week working; the thought alone depresses me. I'm basically waiting for a lottery win to happen but it won't and it's getting too late more and more each passing day

I do not know what to do with life

> tfw getting an education so I can fight for my country as an officer

NICE
There's no robot here you fucking sperg

Got tired of being overweight and not shitposting/helpfully contributing on a regular basis. So now I'm fixing all 3.

habit
Plus, we're all robots at the core
Normal people don't come to Veeky Forums

it's my only social interaction... without it I'm voiceless

Don't go combat arms. Do some pog shit like SIGINT or MI or anything, and have applicable skills to the real world.

The only way you get out of being an officer as a normal person is to have meme level self-marketing skills, else how can you sell "I shot fuckbois in Iraqistan 3.0, hire me as a history major"

Don't plan on making the military your lifestyle unless you get a taste of it for an extended period of time beforehand.

I went to a senior military college for my college, so I knew what I was getting into. Don't get me wrong, the army is fun but I'm unloved regardless. Strangers offer me free sodas and shit at restaurants all the time, but if they knew who I was they wouldn't talk to me. Strange times.

My aunt molested me when I was 7 years old and I'm still working through trusting women.
I spent the first few years of my life trying to convince myself I wasn't the antichrist. (That is, I thought that I was, so I was trying to fight being it.)
I've never really forgiven myself for all the projects I never followed through on and the guilt there is making me too afraid to actually follow through on different projects.

Working through my more recent problems lead me to find even older ones that I never resolved.
I'm fucking 22 years old why am I dealing with shit that happened to me when I was a little kid?

yeah man work a shit, i don't understand why people even bother pursuing careers they're not passionate about. but i value my freedom way more than i value money. so i intend do work part-time and live at bare minimum and do the shit i love for as long as i live p much.

I come for the lulz and shitpost. My life is pretty great at the moment.

>lulz

I was maybe 12 years old when I started telling myself I wasn't good enough. Now I have a decade's worth of experience when it comes to self-hatred and putting myself down. I'm going to learn how to love myself, even if it takes me another 12 years -- or 24 or 48. Two years down... I can look myself in the eye when I pass a mirror now.

Trust is hard, weak, and makes you vulnerable.

But damn do you need it in your life. I believe in you bro, you can do it.

Go out there and kick life's ass until it gives you want you want

This for me as well.

People always talk about being humble, but it seems like there's not enough talk about self-deprecation

trust is hard and makes you vulnerable, but you have to be strong to trust.

distrust is weakness.

I think the only one hurting me is myself. Feels bad man

you're gonna make it, bro.

I'm in a wheelchair and no one wants to be friends with the disabled

>gym

>eat

>sleep

>no social life

>repeat

hard to make friends without friends

Lul

It's so hard to trust though. All I see on Veeky Forums is redpill "women are sluts-FACT" and the narrative is really driven home, how does anyone trust these days?

I'll be your friend, unless you're an asshole

it should feel good that you have the power to stop hurting yourself.

it would suck a lot more if this weren't the case. like if you were being held captive and were subject to torture or some shit.

maybe spending some time off Veeky Forums would help? and talking to people irl without bullshit opinions stemming from self-hatred?

I read all of your posts and I think that we can make it. So let's do that.

Holy shit I have never felt so close to a Veeky Forums post before.
I was raped by my dad's gf's nephew in a bathroom stall at 7. I consistently judge myself for everything I do that isn't perfect. I'm never satisfied unless I have something to struggle against, even if it's my own happiness. I try to keep everyone at arm's length and feel uncomfortable with any sort of emotion.
When I was 21 I walked into a bathroom where 2 people were fucking and it all came rushing back, I stopped exercising for a year and started getting panic attacks.

I get night terrors occasionally, I'm exhausted often, and I don't believe I'm entitled to human comforts. I devote myself to bettering the world but I don't deserve to live in it.
I'm barely 23 I don't want to be this miserable.

>spend time on Veeky Forums
nigga what
>talking to people irl
I'm in the military, everyone I know is more redpilled than ol' hitler

Thank you bro

Thanks senpai.

We're all gonna make it

do you not have a job?

i had to throw myself into the pack of wolves at work to learn how to socialize.

I don't believe in happiness overcoming all or encouragement doing anything for people because as a child I was disowned by my father, my grandparents adopted me and I regularly overheard my grandfather say how he regretted the decision, my uncle would always tell me, "She's My mother, not yours" if I tried to call her my mother (being adopted, she was), my sisters received pretty much all the affection. And yet I worked hard and was successful and smart as a yungin' so everyone was respectful and nice to my face which to this day has made any sense of genuine positivty leave a bad taste in my mouth and make me suspicious of the person bestowing it

At this point only hatred, sarcasm, self depracation, and cyncism seems normal and right to me anymore

i said spend time off.

oh, idk about military man. i don't even know why you would. all bullshit to me. but you still have control over how you perceive the world, regardless of your surroundings. although a good environment definitely helps.

I would like to know as well. No shame in sucking dick if that's what it is.

past is past. you are an autonomous adult now.

>how does anyone trust these days?

You'll either A find that someone who proves the others wrong or B just wing it.
So you might get hurt, you might get heartbroken, cheated on, abused.

Stop caring about what a redpilled NEET who says anything he doesn't agree with is cucked thinks and go for what you want.

BE AN INDIVIDUAL

Everyone is just dealing with shit that happened in their formative years. If you were lucky to win the social/physical/and family lottery congratulations, you probably don't have the crippling insecurities that most of Veeky Forums has.

Here is my story
>Then
As a child I was always craving attention from my mother and eventually, in my adolescent years, craving validation from my peers and terrified of being ostracized. When I entered High School I began playing World of Warcraft and saw that I was receiving more validation
from my merits in the game then I was seeing in real life so I almost exclusively retreated into the fantasy realm. Neglected all friends, schoolwork, hygiene, sports, and any semblance of real life social skills. Lived day to day from freshman through sophomore year through online achievements and socialization. Realized It was taking a significant toll on every aspect of my life (Parents eventually confronted me about my game playing habits) and decided to drop it.

My Junior and Senior year I was almost exclusively dealing with the fallout of my time playing WoW. Had literally no friends, just people I occasionally talked to and hung out with during lunch breaks. My social skills were shit and couldn't meet new people very easily. Had developed a fear of confrontation with strangers or people I don't know well. My grades were total fucking shit so I pretty much expected not to go to University so I never bothered taking the SAT or applying for any colleges.

>Present
>Dealing with all of the fallout of my choices in High School
-From WoW I have a superiority complex about my performance in any subject
-From my social isolation I am recovering from social anxiety so my confidence isn't as good as it could be (This affects friendships and any potential relationships I could have had)
-From my lack of effort in school I never established long term goals until a few years ago

I have no one to blame but myself for my insecurities.

>I've noticed a lot of Veeky Forums is really insecure.
Influx of /r9k/, /pol/, and reddit immigrants.

You're worthy of love, user.
Even if you never feel it, you have to at least know it. Sometimes knowing has to be enough.

One day though, you will know it and you will feel it too.
You're gonna make it to that day, and every day after it too.

"All I see on Veeky Forums"
>let me stop u right there

never listen to anything anyone says on this website (except for people who tell you to never listen to anything that is said on this website)

I turned 19 last month and I'm still a virgin
Cant wake up

protip: stop fucking caring about getting laid and just try to live an interesting and fun life.
If you have stories to tell, bitches will flock to you.

>no one wants to be friends with the disabled

Those people wouldn't make good friends.

Anyone who puts a disability before a personality is detestful. They don't see the real package. They just see the wrapping paper.

I would be your friend. I guess we are. Veeky Forumsizens no matter what race, gender, political views, religion, background were all still family.

You're gonna make it. We're all gonna make it

Also wheelchair body builders are pretty aesthetic

Getting really tired of hearing that

This, only my lifts are shit so I can't even feel superior.

In fact, I've only gained more reasons to be disappointed with myself since coming here. Can't go back, though.

this, and sex is incredibly disappointing. The only plus to come from sex is knowing 100% that someone wanted your penis inside them. Even without having sex, most people should know that they are bangable, and shouldn't care.

I wasted far too much time caring about sex when I was younger, and that somehow made it more difficult to get sex. I'm not saying just bee yourself :^), but relax. It's not the end of the world.

I don't have a wheelchair

Then stop bitching about it. It's common advice because its true you dumbass child.

Why do you want to get laid so bad user?

Do you need the physical reinforcement of being attractive or fuckable?

Or do you believe that you are less of a man for not having had sex yet?

Our lives are so painfully short, we cannot waste them regretting everything and lamenting.

>As a child I was always craving attention from my mother

That was me with my dad

I don't need him tho. I'm better off without him
I used to think I was the problem but he was the problem.

Fuck him

I was born in a small village. I was still a child when we were raided by soldiers - foreign soldiers. Torn from my elders I was made to speak their language. With each new post my masters changed along with the words they made me speak. With each change - I changed too. My thoughts, personality, How I saw right and wrong... Words Can Kill.

>its not the end of the world
>my literal face when for years I said that it would end in 2015 and then I watched the giant disco ball rip off come down on new years 2016

youtube.com/watch?v=_rcmeMxxGYw

no its not true

number 2 plus from everyone who's done it they say its just out right godly feeling

I sell counterfeit goods through the interwebs.

As a young kid I was chubby and socially retarded, I have never had a friend for more than a year and in middle school I had girls calling me a molester and other such mean shit.

I am pretty much permafucked in the head because I didnt make friends in kindergarten so now I'm trying to make people like me by improving myself.

I am not an unloveable person by any means, but I think I have something fundamentally off about myself that turns people away. Maybe I'm too needy or too awkward.

I've also come to the realization that nothing matters whatsoever, literally there is no meaning to life or anything in this world.

That's whatever, I have a fake coping mechanism for it which is something like "you're getting to be alive so make the best of it" but what is really the point of living for fake happiness?

Don't wanna kill myself though desu

this may have held true 5 years ago. Nowadays, half of my frat lurks on Veeky Forums regularly, and I hear people talking about Big Guy and Vaporwave and shit in chem lecture.

>ex fiancee left me 6 years ago after she miscarried our child
>i tried to fill the void with alcohol and sex with random women
>slowly recovering

Everyone's hiding something under the bliss my friend, but I'm glad you're in a good place.

based shuzo

youtube.com/watch?v=bavZbQHbuOk

I was bullied for being middle eastern American and I ended up going through a phase of being self hating towards my self and my family for being middle eastern.

I wanted to join the baseball team but I would be called sandnigger, goatfucker etc

My family isn't even Muslim but no one would listen

I just wanted to be an average American boy who played sports, did well in school and had friends

Oh well. That was then and this is now

ok
Have fun making yourself unfuckable by fixating on your own virginity.

What, like stolen shit?

that really sucks to hear. miscarriages are relatively common though, a lot of couples experience that pain. unfortunate you guys weren't able to work through it. really sorry to hear how it ended

God fucking damn it.

Iranian Christian immigrant to the States here. Sending all my sweet brown lovin' over your way, friend. We'll make it through.

I was avirgin till I was 25. Then all kinds of women started getting interested in me. Don't know what to say except that your time will come.

Actually, I have some advice from my friends who got laid much earlier than me: get weed. There will be some chill, easy girls who will fuck you for some weed. True of any drug but you don't want meth-heads or heroine addicts; stoner girls are classiest druggies.

I'm 24. I'm tired of life. Lifting, reading, and watching some movies are the only things I enjoy anymore. I'm just waiting for my inevitable end, and I don't have the constitution for suicide.

My brother raped me from as early as I can remember until I was 14.

>Iranian Christian
AAAAAAAAAAAA
We are family

Did he get away with it?

>As a young kid I was chubby and socially retarded, I have never had a friend for more than a year and in middle school I had girls calling me a molester and other such mean shit.
>I am pretty much permafucked in the head because I didnt make friends in kindergarten so now I'm trying to make people like me by improving myself.
>I am not an unloveable person by any means, but I think I have something fundamentally off about myself that turns people away. Maybe I'm too needy or too awkward.
>I've also come to the realization that nothing matters whatsoever, literally there is no meaning to life or anything in this world.

Are you me?
Middle school and highschool were brutal, I'm self improving the fuck out of myself now because I've attached practically infinite value to sex and I feel like the only way to have it is to basically trick all the normalfags into thinking I'm one of them, and so far it's working

>Don't know what to say except that your time will come.
I've been hearing that for years

well user, let's debunk a few myths. Your friends are right, in that sex is a good, healthy thing. It's not the greatest feeling on earth though.

Physically, it feels different and more sensory than masturbating, but not much better. It feels nice to have someone like you enough to let you in them in so personal a way, but it's very impersonal nowadays so don't expect to find that itch you have scratched. They're lying if they say it's godly.

>things that are better
>shooting shit
>a hard day's work and accomplishment
>getting paid
>winning something
>working out

Plus, I hate to tell you this, but you have to learn that sex won't give you a feeling of self-satisfaction, at least not when you're wanting to have sex to feel satisfied. It has to come naturally, or it doesn't come at all. Good luck, you'll make it. Just look in the mirror every night and ask yourself, was I a good person today? Did I further my goals today? If you can say yes to those every day, you'll end up further than I ever dreamed I could get in life.

How will having sex solve your problems? Solving your problems will get you sex eventually, fool.

look man all of my "problems" aren't real problems they are just problems by normie standards but since I can't get laid without the normies approval I have to "fix" the "problems" which is what I'm doing

ive been divorced for three years now, my wife is getting married and I have not found a serious relationship in that whole time. I'll never find love because I'm a hunk of shit, I'm stupid and ugly.

Girls used to mock me when I was a kid because I was fat. I wasn't obese, just a little bit chubby. Also, my greedy parents made me shower twice a week. I think they thought I was dirty. I was also hypersensitive, I'd cry when they were laughing at me.

I'd beat the guys who'd mock me but even as a kid I had principles and I never tried to hit these girls.

Now, I'm fairly attractive but I'm too insecure to talk to girls who mire me.

30 here, in the same boat. I really don't want to die but life feels really pointless and empty; I just sit around at home when not at the gym or working.

I don't even have anything to bitch about: steady job, my own house, my own car, decent health. I just can't see the point of doing this for 60 years but I really want to avoid death.

>pic related

I don't even know how it happened. I did well in school and sports. I had friends. I was kind of edgy but also a "leader" all through elementary and middle school. Was considered cool and something of a badass in high school (yes I know that sounds delusional written out but it's true). Sometime during the latter years of high school things started to change. Detachment, isolation, self-loathing, disinterest in almost everything. Went through college the same way and now I'm a friendless NEET. I wish I could point to something, being cheated on, bullied, betrayed, abused etc because then I would have something to actually overcome or confront. I feel empty and I think my long isolation has made me go a bit strange socially.

Shower twice a week? The fuck?

Come on, you've found someone who actually wanted to marry you, that's better than most of us could do. You'll find someone else, eventually.

>because I'm a hunk of shit, I'm stupid and ugly.

You'll never find happiness with that attitude.

Stop sitting in self pity. You're a fucking apex predator

Do you guys think that the problem mankind suffers from is that when it gets easy? I wonder if we grow suicidal because we take life for granted so often, since industrialization has made it simple and easy to live.

Would human depression and suicide disappear like in animals if we were tested constantly on whether we survive?

I'm going to dump stuff that motivates me

youtube.com/watch?v=rCfykIs0yF4
listen to this song right now

I'd like to clarify that I wasn't born an Iranian Christian. I converted in 2008 because my paternal grandparents were Christian and their church was cool as fuck. Either way, we're all here for you, buddy :^)

We were a big family and we would run out of hot water.

That happened to me too

thanks bro im still processing it and trying to become a better person

its hard for me to feel emotion towards anything even sadness which is good in a way and im having an easier time being sober

I wish i could talk to her to try and find some closure bro

I can't even love myself, user. I find peace sometimes though, with every person who stops listening to the echoes of "you can't," I feel alive for just a little bit. I want to be loved by generations to come, even if it's the tiniest measurable contribution, even if nobody remembers my name, it'll be ok, as long as those little moments keep adding up, and there's a little less misery to go around.
We're all gonna make it, bro.

...

did you read the unabomber's manifesto recently?

Thank you user. I love discovering new artists and music. It was just what I needed before bed. Bless you.