Our time down here

Meanwhile, in Weightlifting Heaven...

>St. Peter opens the doors
>144,000 hex bars loaded and ready to go

>Jack LaLane is here to spot you on decline press, user

>Chalk is not only allowed but mandatory

Anyone who calls low bar squats Rippletoe squats is sent immediately to Purgatory

>You can fart all you want

Deadlifts are never put down lightly.

>I have a gf
>I'm happy

EVERY DAY IS LEG DAY IN HEAVEN

Monkey head kettlebell made from an actual monkey head.

what the fuck haha

Rocky 4 soundtrack is always on and the women are always doing Adduction leg machine

Everyone is issued their own screaming slavic ox who yells that you can do it when you start to waiver on the lockout.

>weigtlifting heaven
>women

nah.

Doug Hepburn is spotting you bench and giving you tips on getting your OHP up.

>the deadlift area is always free

>only doing half the movement

>you're eating PIZZA

>Zyzz is there waiting

>never tired because ethereal being now
>infinite gains because infinite time
>jimi hendrix shreds while i shred

hell yeah i want to die

You can shit your pants without any consequences

Ego lift all you want. Use bands and nobody bat a eye. Stretching is mandatory. Dumbbells are placed in the correct positions or death penalty. Everyone is suppose to do a compound movement when they step into the gym

>can't get hurt cause you're already DEAD
D
E
A
D

Fuck yea boyos' lift the fuck away!!

>that trigger discipline

Goddamn I hate that I can't just let them rip in the gym. If I have some notice that I'm going to fart I take out one of my earbuds then fart to see if it's loud enough for others to here and then I inhale deeply a few times to see if it stinks. I also hate farting a bit while doing a rep, then farting a bit more on the next rep and wondering and worrying if I shat myself a little.

*hear, my bad

>low bar