Veeky Forums
I NEED YOUR HELP
I'VE GOT AN INTERVIEW FOR A LIFEGUARD POSITION AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM. THE INTERVIEW'S ON MONDAY WHICH MEANS I'VE GOT ABOUT 3-4 DAYS TO LEARN HOW TO SWIM. IS THIS POSSIBLE?
HELP ME Veeky Forums
TL;DR
>Lied on resume for lifeguard position cause I need a job. Got called for an interview. Part of the interview consists of swimming in the pool. I can't swim
why the fuck did u come to Veeky Forums you dumb cunt. Also kill urself for trying to become a life guard your stupidty might get people killed.
This is hilarious, someone help this poor man.
Also hijack : ive got the worst farmers tan, how do i tan at the beach without my face/arms getting even darker?
Just wear a reverse shirt
just put ur shirt over 1 arm a towl over the other and a cap over ur face.
Now that EVERY single important question is anwser'd in this thread we can all move on
whaT
OK op I have some real advice for you. Go the Jason blaha route and fake mariners disease so the government gives you 15 buck to sit on a couch and fuck a busted tranny
Take a crash course swimming lesson. The problem though. When i was a kid it took me 3 years of swim lessons and i never made it to lifegaurd level. My dolphin and flys were not good enough.
Basically your fucked. Even if you find a really good coach 3 to 4 days is not enough time
Lifeguard here, for my job we had to swim a 300 for pre-reqs and some other stuff but that was the main swimming part (had to tread water for two minutes and retrieve a sunken 10 lb brick in 10 ft water as well), and depending on how far you have to swim and how fit you are would determine if you can or can't. If you are in shape/fit and you need to swim like less than a 100-200 I recommend getting in that pool asap to work on your swimming abilities, otherwise don't bother,
Also OP you're gay for putting yourself into this situation we only make a little better than minimum wage.
They'll deny you when you don't have the credentials, anyways.
No CPR certification or actual lifeguard certification? No hire.
Two sleeves that stop halfway up biceps, no torso. A reverse shirt.
>Even if you find a really good coach 3 to 4 days is not enough time
BRAH, THAT'S NOT THE ANSWER I'M LOOKING FOR. I LIFT, CAN DO DUMBBELL FLYS WITH EASE, SURELY THIS MUST TRANSLATE INTO SWIMMING NO? THERE'S GOTTA BE PERKS TO LIFTING THAT TRANSLATE TO SWIMMING.
> I recommend getting in that pool asap to work on your swimming abilities
WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT?
YOU MAD?
lmao pls include me in the screencap
If you are muscular and not used to cardio, you will cramp up and drown
>tfw parents force me to get a job
>too messed up on drugs to bring swim shorts to the swimming test
fuck lifeguarding ill work in security
If they make u do flipturns u r fucked. But they proboly wont. As long as you have a good cardio and non boney shoulders you should be ok
Dude you are retarded.
Do you know how much you need to lift off the bottom of a pool to save someone? Even if your could swim you won't know how to even do anything useful
Sunscreen jackass
You're fucked. But if you reeeeeally want to try this:
>practice with your breath, being full of air keeps you buoyant, exhaling makes you descend
>start off floating on your back, just keep a broad chest, keep your lungs full of air, and kick a little
>try treading water by staying upright, kicking your legs, and waving your arms at the same time.
>try the backstroke: Same position as back floating, but you move your arms cyclically towards your head like wheels. You can breathe easily doing this, but you can't see shit.
>move onto freestyle after this. Basic shit. Belly first, one arm ahead, cup your hand, "push" the water behind you, repeat. Do this for your interview.
Most of this is feel based. Swimming is easy as fuck if you just be calm and stay in the water practicing.
Good luck user
Unless you're black just hop in a fucking pool you retard. Genetics will kick in and you will be swimming no problem. You can throw a goddamn dog into the water and it will figure out what to do. If you can't and drown know you have done your part.
THANKS BRAH
I took swimming for a few years, I'd just reccomend learning breast-stroke, as well as front crawl in those few days. Those are the fastest, most versatile strokes. After you are hired, just learn dolphin and back crawl at another pool. Remember to actually move your fucking legs when required or youll look like a noob. Youre welcome, good luck.
Just put some ice cream on the nose
>genetics
You mean instinct?
Most people who graduated all levels of swimming have poor form, so you'll be able to fake it. When doing the front crawl,(or back) keep your legs straight. breast stroke, your legs should be like a frog's. Skulling is also useful at times you lay on your back and move your hands almost as if your clapping, its for when youre waiting to be rescued and dont want to expend much energy, but still move. Just learn the strokes i mentioned, do a few laps of each. Focus on breast and front crawl. Say you took swim team for a while and took "bronze swimming" in a small town when you were 14. Dont play off that you are the best., but stress that you were proficient and could bounce back to where you were easily. again, good luck.
Of course this is some obvious bait. But if not, you are truly retarded. You WILL NOT successfully complete your interview. You probably won't even get in the water without presenting your certification. You did not get a certification without swimming 300 yards freestyle and treading without hands for 2 mins. And if by some chance this is an extremely unsafe and shitty establishment that doesn't ask for proof of certification, you WILL NOT complete your 300 yard swim. You will drown or the real lifeguards will have to save you.
Yeah but it's worth trying to learn. Lifeguards in certain dangerous waters can stand to make up to six figures (e.g. maverick's in northern California and the wedge in southern California). The downside is that you have to be strong enough to not only hold your own against 15+ feet triple overhead waves, but also drag obese amerifats out from there.