What does being cat feel like?

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DOGS IN MY THREAD

GTFO
T
F
O

>dyep petlet
When will they learn?

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Get out

I dunno, what does being a human feel like

Here's my plan.

I'd make up an alias, something edgy that broken, attention starved girls like this crave. Slayn.

I'd talk to her online, show off my physique, tell her how pretty of a kitty she is. She would fall in love, because I would pretend to understand everything about her. How no one understands her, how oppressed she is, how difficult it is to be her.

We'd meet. I'd be wearing a mesh shirt, get all my goth shit out from highschool. I'd take her out for lunch, probably a seared salmon (because cats like fish). I'd get us a hotel room.

A nice one.

I'd fill her with so many promises. She could live with me. I could paint her inner cat in various poses. I'd surprise her with a leash in collar.

Then, after we made passionate love and I bit the back of her neck, I'd call animal control and lock her in the bathroom. I leave the hotel, I paid for it with a stolen credit card.

Nano panics and checks her purse, the diamonds are gone.

I fly to Hong Kong and sell them to Mr. Chang, a legendary gem broker. I tell him my name, Joseph, and give him my contact info.

Three days pass and I'm checking out of my hotel in Hong Kong. Mr. Chang calls me and tells me the diamonds have sold. The money is wired to a bitcoin account under the name of Chavez.

Chavez is an associate I knew met in Juarez, I report him and his bitcoin account. We pretend to have a fallout, he's sent to prison. I sneak in a cellphone and text Chavez instructions.

Chavez breaks out. He's smuggled out something.

What did he smuggle out?

The diamonds. Mr. Chang used a Mexico federal prison to stash the diamonds. He never thought I'd have a Mexican connections.

Chavez keeps the BTCs, I keep the diamonds.

The perfect crime.

I like this thread but it probably won't last long.

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painful

>hurr durr tfw no gf
>height face frame
>is this guy natty
Probably sucks Tbh.

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What

This.
>one life to live
>not born a cat

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Maybe I'll tell you.

>not wanting to be a raccoon
>not wanting to go on mischievous adventures
>not wanting to live the life of an adorable bandit

the fuck is wrong with you all

Do you speak in meows?

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Kek, best post and filename!

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That guy really needs to cut his nails

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The hands look like a man's but the fingernail says girl.

>guy

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Imagine being naked 24/7 with high energy and libido but really tsundere and hallucinating

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back off retarded pet for retarded owners

>hallucinating
wot

ULTIMATE KEK!

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>CantWakeUp.jpg

I remember driving back from the beach late one night with a friend and passing by a dark neighborhood. There were IDENTICAL cats in the middle of the street staring off into the distance towards a house and they DIDNT MOVE AT ALL as our car approached them. The fucked up part was that they were posing in the exact same way except one was crouched lower than the other.

It looked like a fucking computer glitch

Yeah it must feel amazing. Your vertical jump is several times your height. Amazing.

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Something like this

>mfw cat bread

Zoey?

Feels meow

>sleeping on a curl bar
>getting mad gains

cat logic

TOP KEK!!

>Cat just takes swings at the dog just for kicks.

Jesus why does anyone like cats?

That dog has a Philip Rivers level punchable face to be honest fampai.

You absolue madman.

>this thread

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This thread is comfy as fuck

purr durr let's floor press

I only ever come to 4 Chan anymore for shit like this. Thank you based user.

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Thanks dwight

How many cats are browsing Veeky Forums right now? I bet they're in the fat hate threads, because fatty owners take up too much space on the couch.

best thread on Veeky Forums in a while

fuck, my flanks

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DYEL? That's not even 0.5x bw u lil faggot

who else /catnipfraud/ here? these gains i've been getting are sick

r8 my physique please brahs

My kitty

Is this achievable natty?