Help a fat kid out

I'll skip the ">read the fucking sticky" and skip straight to anecdotal advice that helped someone rewind becoming a fatboi after absurd teenage metabolism wore off. All with really loose diet rules and only moderate (3-4~ days a week/30-60 minutes) exercise because I am one lazy fuckwit. Going on 35lbs lost and more than doubling what I could lift with absolute minimal effort here.

>Realize that your weight is a result of Calories In > Calories Out
If you make excuses like genetics, healthy food being expensive, not exercising enough (definitely a factor, tho), etc - just kys now.

>Stop snacking.
"oh but I'm hungry or watching a show" - too fucking bad, stop shoveling empty calories into your meatsack. If you're desperate to masticate garbage, swap to healthy food until you get sick of snacking all together. Try shit like Celery w/ Peanut Butter.

>Cut out empty-calorie, sugar-laden, high-carb junk.
It's difficult, but stop with soda. Stop with chips. Stop with candy. Just fucking end it. The few seconds of taste orgasm don't outweigh the negatives. Once you're on track and are seeing results, sure - imbibe the liquid jew or have some chocolate now and then.

A trick that helped me ween off soda addiction was tonic water/carbonated water. Some come in flavors, but the plain water ones are all I can stand anymore. If it has added sugar, don't bother. Far cheaper, too.

>Eat better (and denser if you want), not more. If you're a lazy fucker, stick to cheapo TV Dinners focused on healthy (Lean Cuisine) and not dumb shit that preys on insecure men (Hungry Man.)
That also means eat one. Not two or three.

>Exercise
No secrets here. Just do it. If you don't have equipment, do cardio. Do something. You cannot and will not burn enough calories milling around all day, and even if your diet game is 1944 Concentration Camp good, you're gonna become a hungry skellington instead.

- cont

Read the sticky you stupid fatty, or die of diabetes, either way is fine by me

- cont

What helped me with exercise was - I had access to a shitty set of dumbbells (up to 25lbs) and a set of "put your own plates on it" bells that went up to 35lbs.

I pirated the FUCK out of dumb workout videos/routines. Fuck reading, fuck stickies, fuck making it on my own. P90X (not 2/3/whatever else there is now) got me a good ways over a few months. It's embarrassing to start, because they're gonna rip shit that you can barely keep pace with if you're a lazy fat blob. But stick with it. Use less weight, try to keep up on reps, make it through every routine in full - if you start cheating, you might as well give up. It gets too easy to keep cheating and too hard to get back to being strict, especially if you're lazy like me.

Now that I'm confident enough to do shit on my own without someone walking me through every exercise, I look up routines online, sift through them, alternate, etc.
In the end, anyone can make it - it's all about willpower. The only thing that holds you back is you.

>can't be bothered to read something that will change his life forever for 30 minutes instead of being a lazy fuck
>expects to be able to dedicate himself to a workout and diet for the next months just to lose the fat

Go fuck yourself you fat piece of shit

well fuck you all then thanks for you're help!!!

then get the fuck out

I recently fell for the sticky that said muscle burns a lot of calories.

I've focused entirely on lifting instead of cardio and I've put on 20 lbs. Now 240 lbs. Thanks fit and I hope you burn. Pic related

>NEVER GONNA MAKE IT

IF YOU CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO READ 15 MINUTES OF LITERALLY LIFE SAVING INFORMATION YOU'RE DOOMED TO BE A FATTY FOREVER.

HAS BEING FAT REDUCED YOUR ATTENTION SPAN TO THAT OF A FUCKING FERRET?

Ok it took me a long time to figure this out. I WASTED some of the best years of my life being a fat fool because I did not happen to stumble across the right information.

Here are my tips for moving towards a healthy strong body that will last you your whole life.

>1. Don't be impatient. You might think, 'I'm 14, It will be like 250 years before I'm 30, pshhh long term. I just want quick results". take time to educate yourself.
>2. Don't listen to every asshole who wants to sell you something or promises you something. Use your inner compass/ judgment. "Does this shit make sense or not".
>3. Be open minded. You need dogma to get you from A to B, but then maybe B to C requires some new learing. The dots will connect.

Basics
>4. Eating is for supplying the body with shit it need to make your life awesome. It's not a reward. Its not your friend to comfort you when you are lonely. Its not a hobby. Not for you at least fatty. Food = Molecules you need to run your shit.

>5. Training. Adopt a MOVEMENT PRACTICE. Something like : A martial art, dance, gymnastics, swimming, rock climbing whatever floats your boat. If you have something like that, It will give you a lens through which you can view your training in the gym daily life etc.

Write these names on your wall :

>Kelly Starrett
>Ido Portal

>HAS BEING FAT REDUCED YOUR ATTENTION SPAN TO THAT OF A FUCKING FERRET
Generally this is the case. Lack of control with eating goes hand in hand with instant gratification problems. Pity them.

start lifting

15 MINUTES OF HARDCORE READING?!
WITHOUT PICTURES OF NAKED ANIMU CAPESHIT GIRLBOYS!?!!
WTF
GIVE HIM THE CLIFFNOTES BREH!

>I've focused entirely on lifting instead of cardio and I've put on 20 lbs. Now 240 lbs. Thanks fit and I hope you burn. Pic related

Literally just eat less.

Exercise won't have a giant effect on weight loss. If you lose weight and don't lift you'll just end up being a flabby fuck or aushwitz mode. If you eat less and lift you'll slowly replace that fat with muscle.

>tfw you got your younger brother a cheap dumbbell set because he's out of shape
>you know it's crammed in a corner somewhere not being used
>but it's there goddamnit
>and one day
>he will be glad it is

Yeah I know I have to eat less and I am a little more muscley now, but it has had no effect on weight loss, lifting weights. The sticky just seems wrong.

that's because you're only looking at #lbs lost and not looking at the important subtext "what kind of pounds am i losing?". lifting during weightloss helps to retain muscle, i.e. you burn a higher proportion of fat. your scale won't go down faster but you will be better off in the end

you either lift completely wrong, don't push yourself at all, don't lift at all/enough, or use your "lifting" as an excuse to eat even more.

you are probably also eating a fuckton of carbs every single day. try getting into protein. I used to be the fat kid when i was little and i'm only finally getting in good shape (i'm 20). i wish i had started lifting much earlier.

don't look at the scales too much. gain muscle and you will look better regardless of weather you gained or lost weight. focus on muscle gain not weight loss. bear mode > toneless chub monster

Welcome to Veeky Forums

You can leave now

You have a resting metabolism which burns calories .That is the biggest burning of calories you will do in a day. These calories are used by your body just doing its thing.

The idea is that the more you lift the bigger you get and the more calories your muscles need which as a result means you'll passively end up burning more calories. You won't lose fat instantly but in the long run it makes your journey more efficient.

The sticky also says ignore the scale. If you're 400 lbs you won't offset your weight loss with muscle. But if you're just chubby then it's probable you're gaining muscle whilst you lose fat which means you're technically getting heavier but you're BF percentage is going down.

In the end though I'm just some internet stranger on an [Insert thing that wouldn't have an internet board] board. If you enjoy running more than lifting and find it works better for you go do it. I know Veeky Forums hates to admit it sometimes but our bodies are different and can respond to different types of exercise differently.

>I know Veeky Forums hates to admit it sometimes but our bodies are different.

Half of what Veeky Forums says is utter pseudoscience bullshit and splitting hairs anyways. They can thankfully (mostly) agree on foundational basics though.

I think running is usually controversial because of the inherent health issues/stress on inexperienced runners instead of other forms of similarly demanding cardio, like just hopping on a bike and touring around. The modern layabout first-worlder isn't very well built to put on some shitty rigid squeezers on their feet and slam around on concrete. Stress fractures are a right bitch.

I don't enjoy running or weight lifting. Just trying for the most bang for my buck. Treadmill takes forever and then you realize it didn't even burn off a few pizza rolls.

kys

if you dont want to exercise at all then just. eat. less. it literally your only option

You're a waste

I didn't read the entire sticky either.

Oh in that case the best way to lose weight is to eat more. Preferably fatty, sugary foods like ice cream. Your body will notice that you have enough fat in your diet and get rid of all the excess.

fucking subhuman

Tits and timestamps

all these spoonfeeding faggots must leave, now

>tfw plateauing for the last year

im like 60% sure this isnt OP