Gym Rules

1. NO CLOTHES ALLOWED
2. NO GIRLS ALLOWED
3. NO HOMO

I especially hate when crossfit is canceled or whatever and they all come to the main gym.
They do their mongolian "exercises" in the cable machines and throw weights they're done with in the middle of the walkway and leave them there.

>Welcome to Fytgim, the premier Fitness gym!
>After many complaints of the difficulty using your phone number to check-in we switched to a simple reCAPTCHA system for quicker login. See the front desk for more info!
>
>As you come in to workout don't forget these three simple rules:
>1) No squatting in the curl rack, others would like to use it for Safety Curls!
>2) Modern 10's Pop music only!
>3) No lunking or Lunk Alerter™ will activate (it's loud hehe), this is usually caused by deadlifting.
>Failure to abide will result in a non-refundable suspension!
>
>Also, this is a friendly reminder to always leave as many 5 and 10 lb plates on all bars for the convenience of other members and don't forget we have Pizza and Donuts in the lobby every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday so stop on by! :)

>No cargo shorts
Why?

crossfit is the dumbest shit I have ever seen

>weighted barbell box step ups

apparently this is a real thing

>have more than 1 squat rack so faggots stop complaining about it
>only free weights, no machines other than a pullup/dip assist and leg press
>girls must wear tight as fuck bootie shorts.

you're automatically an awful person if you

>dont rack your weights
>bounce the weight, especially on deadlifts
>drop the weight

any of those and membership is suspended in my dream gym

bonus with slightly less severity:

>you take an unreasonable amount of time to rest in between sets when all similar equipment is in use and there's a wait.

there's others but I can't think of them right meow

> no supersets
for fucks sake, one equipment at time is enough

> only squats and goodmornings in the squat rack

one and above all
> no instructors

1. No curls in the squat rack
2. No supersets beyond a 5 foot radius
3. You drop the weight, you get flogged by the biggest guy in the gym with a pool noodle.

No basketball shorts

Squat rack for squating, not for press

No talking to front desk guy

does that mean only qt girls are allowed or does that rule not apply to hams in the process of becoming qt?

1. Minimum of 15 thicc asian qts doing squats or diddlys at all times
2. Leaving the weight belt in the crossfit area and not returning it to where I do my dips is punishable by 15 minutes in the protein fart gas chamber
3. Nu-males and old women that do circuits are not allowed inside. Any violators will also go to the protein fart gas chamber.

some perks:
1. water fountains are actually whole milk fountains
2. TV's alternate between episodes of Spartacus and exotic porn
3. Area where people with meme autism can work on social gains

Fucking this. The weight racks are so fucked up I can't understand what kind of special retards go to my gym
>1,25kg - 2,5kg - 20kg - 1,5kg on one bar
>15kg - 2,5kg - 15kg - 5kg on the other side
EVERY
FUCKING
TIME
I
M
E

>area where people with autism can work on social gains

This will never work, you need to integrate autists into groups of normies one at a time to smooth them out.

You basically just described a game shop

Then where do I press desu senpai?

Rule 1: If I and only I say so, you must give up the equipment to me
Rule 2: If I ask you to, you must fetch the required dumbbells/plates
Rule 3: You must always be nice

don't fall for the bait
the squat rack is ok for both squat and ohp

I'm equal opportunity, if a person is making an effort to lose weight. I keep my thoughts to myself even if I do judge them internally.
However, I rarely if ever have hamplanets come to my gym more than once or twice.
It's not a cardio gym (though it has a few cardio machines) it's free weights, chiropractor, nutritionist, martial arts/fighting (BJJ, JJ, Boxing, kickboxing), some spa stuff, but you have to pay extra for that.
It's a full package deal, if you aren't serious about using it you'd be paying a ton of money for very minimal. Almost everyone in my is extremely athletic.
>I use the free weights, boxing/JJ classes
I also work as a nutritionist part time there.

Honestly I only see hamplanets at normie gyms, and that's the price you pay for a cheap gym membership.

>no basketball shorts

what the hell am I supposed to wear?

Or just on the floor next to the weight tree

Clean the equipement (includes qiping, reracking etc etc)
No assisted reps (bro spotting on bench etc etc)
Everyone must post their program on a physical wall tracking their weights and progress

>No coming in packs of 5 and using one piece of equipment

>No taking off your shirt to take selfies (idc how sole you are)

>No setting up your tripod in the middle of the gym so you can film for your gay ass youtube channel.

this
what does fit have against basketball shorts?

> #3
kek

>awful person
boo-hoo fucking little bitch

>>you take an unreasonable amount of time to rest in between sets when all similar equipment is in use and there's a wait.
you can either ask to work in IF YOU HELP ME RESETTING THE WEIGHTS or you can get fucking lost

it's a meme you dips

>use racks/cages for their intended purpose
>repack weights after use
>Stay informed and do not perpetuate misinformation to DYELs

1. NEATLY rerack your weights.
Theres always weights and bars scattered everywhere, and the few plates on the racks are in absolutely no order. Hate when I can fine any 2.5 or 5lb plates cause they're between a bunch of 45s

2. don't spend an hour on the squat rack regardless of how big your gym buddy group is (or any equipment for that matter) when other people are obviously waiting for it

3. no chewing gum and no headphones with shitty isolation so that i can hear your music from the other side of the free weights section. Misophonia is a bitch.

It mostly boils down to just fucking be courteous

>3. no chewing gum and no headphones with shitty isolation so that i can hear your music from the other side of the free weights section. Misophonia is a bitch.

maybe stop being a little bitch 1xF ?

>>No setting up your tripod in the middle of the gym so you can film for your gay ass youtube channel.
On point

>Misophonia is a bitch
well excuse me for having a crippling mental disorder

>misophonia
>mental disorder

It's not medically classified as such. Take your meme disorders and get over them.

>don't spend an hour on the squat rack regardless of how big your gym buddy group is (or any equipment for that matter) when other people are obviously waiting for it
ask to work in faggot, you people are the worst, you stand behind people awkwardly for 10 minutes instead of just asking to work in like a normal human.

Working in can be a pain in the ass if the lifters are different heights and you need to adjust the rack (along with stripping and replacing the weights) between every set.

that sounds pretty homo

You're a giant faggot, literally takes under 15 seconds to change weights on the bar. Stop being autistic and just talk to people like a normal human.

I'm getting in - everybody fuck out.
No more needed.

why is everyone hating on dropping weights.
Like if you train oly, dropping weights is like a given.

>whites only
>men only
>strip your weights and wipe down the equipment when done

Fuck this would be the perfect gym

Summerfaggot

> dropping weights

What if you Olympic lift. You'really literally required to drop the weight unless it's a babbyweight snatch.

You're not required to (for quite a while, it was actually a DQ in comps to do it) but holy shit does it make things easier.

Weighted dips?

>1
No guys bigger than me allowed.

>2
Girls have to wear tight clothes.

>3
The mirrors have to be free all the time so i can mirin my own aesthetics.

You mean dropping a deadlift in PL? I'm not aware of any point in time in WL you were required to carefully lower a snatch or C&J. Even in videos from the 50's, you can see them letting the bars drop straight down. They still keep theit hands on the bar, but they don't arrest the fall at all.

Source out of curiosity?

Weighted dubs

>check em

I've had to not drop weights in the upstairs section of my gym before (they're scared the floor might break) and by catching my jerk back on my shoulders, then down to my hips then floor, I've seriously fucked my upper back for like a week. It's killer. Dropping oly lifts is the only way

you should be able to clean any weight that you can ohp desu senpai

STOP SQUATTING ON THE OLYMPIC PLATFORMS

Theres a pretty dedicated old nigger that works at the gym i go to, i think he's a vietnam veteran.
Put the equipment where it goes
Dont leave shit on the floor
Dont drop the weights
If you listen to music put on some headphones damn it
Curling in the squat rack is ok
Dont text in between reps, just finish your goddamn routine.

He's constantly on peoples asses, but I'll be frank he's the hero we deserve.

...

#1 rule of my gym too

Dropping a deadlift is still a no-lift in powerlifting.

Its been a long time since the change, but prior to the introduction of bumpers you had to control it down. Not that it had to be slow, just enough to prevent anything from potentially getting fucked by the impact.

I've had to do the same. Except I also managed to snap some shit in my wrist dropping from my rack position to my hang position and couldn't do anything but squat for four months.

yep at the comp i did you couldn't let it leave your hands, had to 'be in control' for the entire lift

Most people don't know jack shit about how to clean.

>chiropractor
So your goal is to ensure all members enter snap city?

1. No non-whites
2. All gym members must conceal carry at all times
3. Nobody over 15% bodyfat may enter the gym

>Dropping a deadlift is still a no-lift in powerlifting.
>Its been a long time since the change, but prior to the introduction of bumpers you had to control it down. Not that it had to be slow, just enough to prevent anything from potentially getting fucked by the impact.
No one is even remotely contesting that. The dude asked about OLY lifting at some point having a no-drop rule, which has never existed.

they should learn then, it's a useful exercise that can be done with only a barbel and doesn't need a rack to be done safely, unlike backsquats

Okay, my gym technically has the same rule, though nobody follows it and I drop from overhead every time.

There's a big difference between "controlling the bar" (i.e, just keeping your hands on the bar on the way down) and actually not dropping the bar. The way it was phrased I thought that you had to set down the bar gently.

>The Mountain isn't allowed in your gym.

I'll an an exception to rule three if you can squat 5pl8.

But you've gotta do it with perfect form, and naked to make sure you ain't cheating.

>Dont text in between reps, just finish your goddamn routine.
Reps or sets? I'd be pretty retarded to stop mid set to text then finish.

>I think my gym is going to be filled with lean shredded guys but I'm too stupid to know what a bulking and cutting cycle is so I'll just have the spookiest gym filled with skeletons.

1. No excessive curling
2. Every pretty girl must hold my hand for ten minutes every month, this is their membership fee. Men have normal fees.
3. Lots of free weights, no acting retarded with the free weights.

Side note: I wonder how much he could squat. He's kind of at the point where he doesn't use silly plates. He just picks up trees.

1. Women may only be admitted if I deem them attractive
2. You must be able to lift 3/4/5/6 to enter if male
3. If you can deadlift 10 pl8 you get free entrance

>no chewing gum
Are you autistic or a janitor?

1. rerack your plates when done
2. keep everything clean
3. only i get to decide the music
that feel when i have a home gym

>1. Return plates/equipment to correct location
Seriously, how difficult is it to match the numbers and not leave shit on the floor?
>2. No supersetting beyond 5ft radius if you expect to keep equipment
Don't expect someone to drop what they're doing because you're spread out across the entire gym.
>3. 5 minutes of non activity leads to forfeiture of equipment
If Johnny Talksalot wants to catch up with his bros he hasn't seen for two days, he can step aside and let someone else work out.

This.

I don't need any other rules added to my gym.

I think this is already a rule anyway but regards don't follow it obviously.

>Misophonia
>going to a public gym and then whining about it

Fuck off.

both really, never doubt human stupidity

1. Sort out spotting technique before you spot. Sick of guys who take the bar from me the moment the bar slows down. Or worse, they guy that waits until my chest is flat before he steps in.

2. There is nothing wrong with working in.
This applies to both parties. Don't give shit if people ask to work in, and don't give shit if they offer you to work in.

3. Those big ass colourful plates ,made of rubber? Those are reserved for the oly/diddly area. Do not use them for bench.

>MISOPHONIA
Its a mental disorder so i guess autistic is close enough

>Censored music
>Sell protein and pre-workout drinks at the front desk
>No shoulder pressing in the treadmills

wow its like you didn't even see what the point of this thread was

i don't bitch about it irl i just wear ear plugs but in my ideal gym i would have to jeez

*wouldn't

>You must be this autistic to enter my gym
Let's list your real only criteria.

There is nothing wrong with send someone a text or browsing facebook on a rest set. Only a retard would have issues with that.

...

>Its a mental disorder
No, it isn't.

Fuck you
Take your one nut outa here and go back too fucking your mother before I do

Which Olympics are you training for, faggot?

Shit happened to me today. I waited around a couple of mins and did stretches to see if anyone was actually using the squat rack. Nope, some idiot just left the plates on.

Kek

Gym shorts. Wear gym shorts to the gym.

>white men only
>no women in the weights area
>hot chicks only

For real, whats wrong with cargo shorts, I go straight to the gym after work, and that's what I wear...