Veeky Forums triggers

> I bought you the sweets and caramel you like so much for birthday
> haha I know you told me not too but in fact you do enjoy eating them don't you
REEEEEEEEEEEEE IT'S A JOY I REJECT MOOOOOOM!!!

>silly you user I know you love heroin, so I brought you some

Are you me?

Only random autists do kipping pull ups. Crossfit utilizes weighted pullups and butterflies, erroneously referred to as kipping pullups.

>You are overcompensating, you should learn to love yourself the way you are! You don't need to lift and be fit!
>I used to lift too! Now hear million excuses why i stopped

Went out to lunch today with my family. I did not eat because I had chicken and chickpea waiting for me at home.

They keep harrassing me to order something. I order a glass of water.

When they get desserts they offer me to try some. I say no for the millionth time and my mom says: "Well, that's strong character."

>mfw

>"Hurf durf, user, I can't eat healthy I love food too much."

That's not "real food" you eat
I love food too. I grow most of my own
I eat pizza and burgers every now and then, making sure it fits in my TDEE

> Oh, come on. It's just one donut!

every fucking day

I hope this is bait man. When you get older you will regret every single meal you didn't share with your family in order to get some pathetic natural 'gains' or 100 gr of weight loss

oh yeah i can already see y parent on their deathbed and my father whispers into my ear: "fuck you for not ordering grilled calamari when you had the chance. i'm leaving your sister everything."

he was there with them. it's not like he missed spending the time with them.

>tfw no gf

Ya, but atleast this way he'll live to be old

Used get that told to me, lmao. All it takes is not being a retarded crossfitter to keep your back healthy while lifting.

Yeah man sharing dessert with your family with surely get you killed, damn idiot.
It's always novice lifters and new year resolution faggots who are such retarded pointless extremists (even tho they only last a couple of months tops)

Eating less is better than eating shit, you know. Better keep gains as clean as possible yo

this so fucking much

>"you eat the same lunch/dinner everyday?!?!?!"
"Just for a week, I mix up the meat starch and vegetables...."
>that's so weird I don't get how you don't get tired of eating the same thing
>they proceed to order McDonald's for the third time that week

ALL OF THOSE, ARGH!

>You shouldn't have put on 4 stone, that has got to be unhealthy?

The guy that said it to me smokes like a chimney....

>Keep the tension on the muscle. does half reps

>touch and go deadlifts

>half squats

>Box jumps with a loud landing

>people who use machines for core

>half squats
on the fucking smith machine

I remember some old fat fuck saying
>oh yea, i used to have 20" arms and six pack abs
My response was
>what did you cycle?
after looking at me like a dog that had been shown a magic trick, i asked
>what steroids did you take?
Then the fat fuck tries to claim he did that natural

I bit my tongue but WHHHYYYYYY do normies think this shit is believable?
Fucking bigger arms than frank zane or even lee fucking haney (pic) without roids?

How is this a delusion normies can hold?
I literally autismo'd out in front of the guy i was biting my tongue so hard. Could not think of anything else but what an outrageous liar that santa claus-looking moterfucker was.

Trips of truth. I eat mcdonalds or chocolate or pizza every day and im jacked.

You control the meals you can control (for me its breakfast, lunch and snacks) but supper is a free for all. I would never be out at a party or with family and friends and just order a glass of water. Thats fucking cringy and counter-productive to what your goals should be (not being an autist)

>when people only think to compliment you on your arms even though you feel like your delts and upper pecs have come along nicely

i'm cutting. not going to stop cutting for some shitty dessert that you get along with lunch in a restaurant. and why do you act like eating dessert is something special? do you live in north korea or something? i get blasted with sugary foods every day. grandma bakes a cake because she has nothing better to do at least twice a week. sister making muffins because why not. aunt stops by and brings chocolate.

better to not turn all of that down and hurt people's feelings and just become fat slob.

This was bad in my old office, got pulled into HR for something like this

>Pulled into HR for eating the same lunch everyday
What?

This
>tell friends i'm counting my calories
>try to heat healthy, lose the fat maybe gain some muscle along the way
>They look at me with "haha are you kidding user?" look on their faces
>Yeah i am serious about it.
>"lol whatever fag"
I just want to stop being a fat ass you fags and because of that i went down 15kg since the begining of the year. I will make it, even if i will have no friends or gf. My JoJo body awaits me.

no he was pulled into hr because of the autistic fit he had

>thinking normies care about anything other than biceps
that's why there is a curl rack in the gym.

Everyone on Veeky Forums claims to be as strong as an experienced powerlifter after 6 months of training

only the people who do ss are telling the truth though

This. Biceps, abs, back and maybe chest. That's what normies think when you say you lift.

some of these just make me laugh, but I'm sure will trigger others
>low T nu-males scoffing and sayign lifting is for meatheads
>"you don't need to lose more weight user :^)"
>fat people making disgusted expressions at the sight of non-shit food or exercise
lol
>people who always sob about X thing they don't like about themselves but don't try to change it
>girls saying they don't like muscles
desu that one they do on purpose to weed out betas who believe them
>coworkers commenting on how often and how much you eat every day
>"fat is bad for you user"
>"too many carbs are bad for you user"
>"50g of protein a day is all you need user"
>fat people telling their dyel friends they'll never get big because of their height
crabs
>crossfitters being gay elitists
>half ROM
>niggas that ohp by pumping the barbell up and down no lower than their nose
>mom telling my beloved little sister she should be 'toning up' and not building muscle
gave her a copy of SS for her birthday, them legs n' booty have grown nicely thanks to onii-chan and she knows it
>smith machine squats
>dyels doing retarded 6 day brosplits
>niggas that don't do legs

If you think your core is lacking there is nothing wrong with heavy cable crunches.
The rest of it is true actually.

>The term "upper-body strength." Push and pull are different things RREEEEEE
>Can you help me get toned? I only want to build lean muscle
>Cross country kids in high school: "every day's leg day for me, dude"

DELETE THIS

Not true at all.

Most people claim intermediate stats because they are intermediate.

You reek of a bitter fag who cant ohp lmao1pl8 after 6 months (literally the first and easiest of the 1/2/3/4 benchmark, which everyone but turbo manlets and lanklets should expect)

Read up on VIF, faggot

Push press > power gap > weighted allahuackbars

>be careful you're going to hurt yourself

The only thing that makes me cringe
>"eeeeew, user, big muscles are ugly, why can't you look like a normal person (points out dyel physique)?"

I am a lanklet, but the claims you hear from some people on here are ridiculous.

>people saying how much they hate themselves/X thing about themselves but never doing anything about it

Hate these fags. If you really hate yourself you'll have the motivation to change, just like everyone else does.

>weighted allahuackbars
kek

Haha normies pull this shit all the time
>woah bro you look jacked (i am like 15-6% and dyel as fugg)
>i need to hit the gym with you, start doing some curls (I literally do not do arm isolations, because delts wider than arms is assthedick as fuark)
Incidentally, that friend never """hit the gym""" with me, even though i didnt even 'tism out and tell him curls are for fags or anything. Just gave open invitation.
>tfw no liftan bro

>someone in the house gets me food and says its only 100 calories
>turns out it was 800

>day is almost over and I'm at my calorie limit
>person in house makes pizza, filling the house with delicious food that makes me want to eat, tell them not to do that because it is torture and they say "we gotta eat too!"

>"Some people just can't lose weight, I was gaining pounds on a 600 calorie diet"
>find out from another friend that this fatass wasn't counting everything and just assumed pasta was 100 calories and shit

>at my limit for the day
>"do you want us to get you something when we come home?"
>tell them no, Im at my limit
>they bring home greasy hamburgers from five guys and offer some to me

>get yelled at whenever I add up the calories for a meal I have when at a resturant

Despite all this, 70 pounds lost since December 23rd.

(Though you fucks lied about how you end up not liking fastfood/soda after a few months. Every day I yearn for a whopper and when I ate one in june it was orgasmatic)

>>people saying how much they hate themselves/X thing about themselves but never doing anything about it
They're just looking for someone to agree and complain with them so they feel validated for being a lazy shit.

>trying to bulk
>"have you lost weight?"

>All it takes is not being a retarded crossfitter to keep your back healthy while lifting.

No, all it takes is good form. Any idiot can hurt their back, doesn't matter where they train.

this
I have been gaining weight consistently and everytime I visit my family I get asked this.

Restrictive dieting is a short term solution.

Just avoid trans fats, supplement fiber and potassium (vegetables, motherfucker) and make that shit fit your nutritional requirements for the day.

Nonrestrictive dieting is the way. Being able to instinctively (rather than put everything on a scale, which is a very useful learning tool) how to nutritiously implement any food without gaining weight or losing strength is the zen.

AWAKEN MY MASTERS

your feels I feel deeply

>tfw I have lost 25lbs and not one person has made mention of it yet

Also make sure you properly brace your abs during lifting. Like any time you are even touching a heavy weight, brace your shit.

T.hernia bro

When you get a JoJo body you'll get better girlfriends.

(at least that is what I'd like to believe and the sole reason I'm losing weight)

Dont worry, once you get sub 20% people will think you have lost 10lb for every 5lb fat you lose.

Focus on liftan, too

It's ok, me too. But going from 300 to 275 isn't really noticeable.

Nothing wrong with being careful user...

My diet consists of a bottle of milk, seven grilled chicken breasts, and a cup of kix cereal to fight off the munchies later in the day.

Well yea, e-statters gonna e-stat, but i would say they are the minority

yeah

>user don't you get tired of eating chicken and veg every day?
I replied with
>anonette don't you get tired of pizza and fast food every day?

Got pulled into the office next day, fired. Combination of double standards and her being a little rat bitch

>I am 195 at 5'11

Yeah I did that over the past 6 months and have been lifting the whole time. I am almost to 2pl8 on squat.

You're fine 220 to 195 isn't super noticeable, especially if you haven't been buying new clothes.

omg I miss FFXI

or was this from FFXIV before ARR

fuck I miss FF online

Lost

>checking out his sisters' ass

Just order something small like diet coke and a salad

Fuck Antoinette. Did she tweet later
>thanks for ruining my life
?

Yeah but you can order some fucking food during a dinner with your family. Nobody is forcing that autist to eat a diabetes-glazed donut and his fucking chickpeas can wait for the next day, right?

>Actually socializing with women in the workplace beyond "haha, yeah".

I'll talk to them if a project requires it, but beyond that I steer clear. They are the judge, jury, and executioner in the form of the HR department and it's not worth the risk.

For sure way too restrictive.
Stop eating like an autist.
Fats and carbs are as important as protein, and cereal is a meh source of carbs.

Honestly if you hit your protein(.82g/lb total bw), fiber (~55% your protein intake by gram), and calorie goal, it is really fucking hard to go wrong, regardless of what you eat.

I know kino is a meme, and a half natty, but you should watch his videos vlogging what he eats in a day.
It might open your perspective on how easy it is to hit your nutritional demands

>hurr he can only eat chocolate and be skinny because roids
Yea, tell that to jason blaha, who takes WAAAY more than a half natty dose, and cant get below 20% bodyfat to save his life,

>not eating everything you could just to get bigger

sounds like a crash waiting to happen

I run and if I shaved all the hair off my ass and posted it, you would probably jack it to it.

Calm down, brian shaw.

hahaha i'm with you in this one user

>mfw getting bigger and they say you look skinnier than before

jesus

Truth. Fucking mollycoddled cucks.

>omg people taking up the machines and the racks hurr million sets hurr rest periods
>never asks to work in

>"I would suggest doing high reps and low weight so you can tone, user"
>"Doing too much weight will damage you permanently"
>Also that fucking old man who gives you "advice" and then goes on to do 20lb seated row
REEEEEEEEE

Grilled calamari is god tier fit food, faggot

AWAKEN MY MASTERS

>tell fraternity I'm going to get swole
>they laugh at me
>don't post a single thing on jewbook for a year because autistic
>lose weight
>cut down to 10%
>start bulking
>post results
>"wow user, you on gear?"

yeah, because barely 14" arms = gear, you fucking god damn niggers

>Tell friends
>Telling fucking anybody but us

Biggest mistake. Crab ass niggas will do nothing but shoot your shit down, even when all you need is that slight validation that the move you're making is the right one. This isn't fucking gender dysphoria or whatever, where telling that fucker everything they want to do is fucking wrong. Any type of positive move will be met by misinformation and discouragement. Say nothing, and do your shit.

nothing wrong with low weights high reps for certain things

for instace, 20 rep squats

makes me laugh that ppl who read starting strength think they're experts on lifting after 2 years of trainng

There is a hilariously similar thing with cars. Old fucks claim they ran sub 10 second quarter miles with ancient engines they swapped in their 3000+ lbs vehicle with ancient handling. Of course they did all this after working a paper route for 3 days.

If you don't know anything about vehicles, getting 10 second quarter miles is expensive and requires a good amount of work. I honestly don't even know if it was possible on the average vehicle from the 60s to the 80s. There is horridly expensive diminishing returns on vehicles the faster you go.

MFW some old faggot tells me their 200 hp 300 lbs/ft N/A carbed vehicle ran faster than modern super cars

AWAKEN MY MASTERS!

AWAKEN MY MASTERS

Actually my new job is 1000 times better. I wont get into specifics but I make more money, work less hours, and work 100% from home

I wasn't socializing, I was fucking tired of her fat ass saying that shit. She'd said it to me on at least 3 separate occasions, so I just ended up saying what I did