Veeky Forums, everybody

>these are the people you accept advice from without doing your own research

>1st day Veeky Forumsposter using same memes as Veeky Forumsizen (that doesn't even lift tbqh)

I fucking hate every board on this tibetan mongoose farm

Veeky Forums and /r9k/ might as well be the same board.This is the worst summer invasion I have ever seen,not sure why I still come to this absolute shithole...

Is this real
Holy fuck, I didn't think it was this bad

At least the summer children asking stupid questions are asking questions. The fucking frogposting /r9k/ transplants are what's really ruining the board

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What's wrong with that guy posting concern about Muslims

We must all be wary of Islamic attacks

>one of the gimp seats is open (basically padded toilet seats where the regular cinema seat should be, you're supposed to put a bucket the cinema gives you under it so literal retards can piss and shit while watching films, one is on each side all the way back in the nosebleed seats so they don't bother people)
>load up on snacks with my EBT card; popcorn, nachos, hotdogs, burgers, sodas, mini pizzas, Milk Duds, the works
>claim my comfy gimp seat
>"in with the new, out with the old" non-stop for the entire duration of the film, have half a mind to think I'm pissing and shitting beverages and food I ate earlier in the film
>film's over, get up to leave
>I forgot to get a bucket
>big mucousy turds running down an aisle turned into a slip-'n'-slide of piss and spilled soda (and a tiny little bit of blood, I don't get enough fiber)
>big box of plain nachos I didn't eat (because the meat and cheese was on the nachos on the top) falls out of my lap and spills all over the place
>try to catch it and accidentally knock the rest of my soda over
I'd hate to be the one who had to clean that up, they probably closed that theater for the rest of the day and lost thousands of dollars on canceled screenings.

>public bathroom scene
>doesn't zoom in and show character obsessively inspecting his ass wipes to see if fecal matter is present or if his anus is clean

>character earns a lot of money
>like a whole lot
>especially for his age
>his company offers good benefits
>character goes to take a shit
>character takes a shit
>character goes to wipe ass
>character wipes ass
>character flushes ass wipes down toilet instead of just throwing them in the trashcan.

>its a 'user projects about this board' episode

>it's a spoonfeed me tinder game episode

what do you expect

it's mostly 16 year old autists claiming that girls are "mirin" them when in reality someone just said "hi" to them

thats denial for you I guess

>post pic in CBT
>tfw you get mires

wtf is this retard shit seats

>get to theater bathroom
>poop scissors which are normally attached to a chain like pens at banks sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser
>go to take a shit
>someone took the poop scissors from my stall
>have to flush without using poop scissors
>clog toilet
>toilet overflows
>get up and go to the lobby
>see toilet water coming out of bathroom
>go see my movie

>buy tickets to Batman V Superman
>Wtf
>this is straight shit
>dump my extra large popcorn on the floor and put my blue power aid on it then mush it with my shoes
>get refills and do this three more times
>ask for a refund from the manager and get two free tickets

How do you punish the theatre when a movie is bad Veeky Forums?

My cinema has poop scissors next to the toilet on a chain like pens at banks so you can't walk off with them I guess. I still don't use 'em though, not my job to cut up my logs to make the job easier on their weak ass low-flow toilets. Maybe they should use some of the money people spend on their overpriced popcorn/drinks on a plumbing upgrade

I personally grab all the toilet paper rolls and throw them in the toilets I jam them with me feets and flush, caushing a shit tsunami. the theater cucks don't see it coming.

>go to only cinema in my state that doesn't enforce the "no singles policy"
>buy ticket, go into theatre, open my ziploc bag full of snow crab meat
>sit down in seat, strap myself in, when suddenly I realize I forgot to bring butter for my sweet, succulent crab meat
>jingle theater service bell, server comes by and sees me sitting in my seat, mouth watering, holding out my hands for my complimentary butter packet
>he seems upset and says that I rang the bell too loud
>offers me a small packet of margarine for $1.99, says they "don't serve butter at this chain anymore"
>got so upset that after the showing I hid leftover crab meat inside the theater vents
>go back two weeks later
>worst smell I've ever encountered
>weeks pass by and eventually the theater closes

And I'm glad it happened, too.

Get a gumdrop, or sour patch kid, or any chewy or gummy candy, and just suck on it. Eventually it will partially melt into a blob of gelatin in the heat of your mouth and your spit. Now spit it out into your hand. You now have a few options. You can mash it into a seat, fling it into the audience, or my favorite, right at the screen. Provided you get some power with the throw, whatever this lump of shit hits it is going to stick to, and never come off.

Doesn't have to be a bad movie. I behave the same whether I enjoyed the movie or not. To me i don't dump my popcorn/soda all over the floor and stick chewing gum on the floor and seats because I'm a bad guy. I do it to help the workers at the theater build more character. Without me testing them they are liable to get lazy without having constant challenges at their work. If there is some unintended punishment for their poor academics/career decisions (because let's be honest, they probably weren't the top of their class if they're working there) then so be it. But that is not my intent

This.
>what is job security
This.
>what is job security?
Say there are 5 popcorn broom monkeys working at any given time at the theater. Each and every customer leaves the theater spotless and all of the trash makes it to the trashcan. All the gimp seat buckets are completely empty. The showers have no poop covering the drains with evidence someone tried to step on it so it's halfway in the drain like brown play-dough spaghetti. The poop scissors are all clean as guests have washed them after use. Do you think the manager isn't going to notice that he only needs maybe 2-3 popcorn broom monkies for the shift? Well guess what that's means? That means that 2-3 of them will be let go. Is that really what we want?

We really are helping the economy at the end of the day

Now even /tv/ shitposters come to Veeky Forums

This board is dead.

>snuck a couple 32 oz brewski into the theater
>no longer wanted them so I slowly pour them down on the floor in front of me
>the entire concrete floor cascades down except for a strip of carpet across the theater by the entrances so the beer went all the way to the carpet
>starting to smell by the end of the movie
>carpet is squishy when we leave

mad popcorn broom monkey detected. clean it up.

Bumpus

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