FPS; I never used to believe

Hey Veeky Forums, I never used to believe 99% of the FPS I used to encounter here. But I believe now. I believe...

It's a long story and not as funny as some here, but here we go anyway.

>be me
>go on holiday to a friend's house and go as +1 to friend's local gym
>first time in a public gym, wow it's super busy, so many people
>go to free weight room after brief jog
>empty except for 6'6 turbo skelly in corner throwing a medicine ball at the wall
>weird but okay
>grab baby weights and start warming up
>skelly looks at me, but I mean really looks a long time
>wonder if anything on display
>check self
>all good, sports bra doing its job
>continue warming up with just the bar while ignoring skelly stares
>enter a real life hambeast
>I mean bright red hair, a belly that hangs like an apron and three chins
>takes one look at skelly and goes for weight rack near me
>grabs two 4kg kettle bells
>clearly too heavy judging by grunts and straining
>starts swinging them around like it was a Sir comic
>skelly gapes
>fatty lets one kettle bell fly by accident (probably sweaty hands),
>lands about a metre away from her
>fatty leaves it there (rude) and starts swinging the other one back and forth between her legs
>realise her swing puts me in the danger zone, so take a step back into a wall
>the wall protests in a low, gentle rumbling voice
>the wall is actually a viking

>seriously this guy is skelly's height but could crush me between his pecs
>long black hair
>how is this guy so stealthy!?
>apologise to the viking
>'not a problem', he says and goes to fatty
>suggests in real polite language that fatty change her form to prevent rotator cuff injury and get more benefit from her lifts
>fatty pants and wheezes and drops other kettle bell
>questions what 'authority' the viking has to say this
>viking apologises (!) and says he is a fysiotherapist specialising in severe sport injury and rehabilitation and she will hurt herself severely like that
>not good enough for fatty who demands whether he works at the gym
>he does not
>fatty tells him his advice is not valid and she has a routine given to her
>realise I'm staring and start putting some weights on the bar to look busy
>skelly seems to realise the same thing and continues with ball
>viking asks whether fatty has had a weight room gym induction
>fatty says it's none of his business
>viking says that it is, as she is endangering herself and other members by swinging those weights around, also it's gym policy
>fatty gets upset, starts saying she will report him for bothering her
>viking apologises again, but suggests she does talk to gym staff so they can help her

>trying to count reps, unaware of what is about to go down
>fatty suddenly starts crying and makes to storm out
>trips over the kettle she dropped earlier
>falls flat on her face, rocks back and forth on her balloon stomach, then lies still
>nobody moves, including fatty
>oh shit
>all three of us go over to see if she's ok
>still breathing but passed out
>oh shit
>viking tells us to stay here while he gets help
>skelly and I say nothing to each other
>viking returns quickly (and silently) with staff first aid kit
>fatty is moaning and coming to, skelly and I hang back while they check her over
>'what happened?' asks the manager
>'he pushed me' fatty says, pointing at the viking
>wut
>skelly steps forward and say she's lying
>fatty starts crying and saying it's true
>points to us and says we were laughing

Fat girl where I work and you have to actually think about how to maneuver past her some times she has that much meat. Almost comical if it wasn't so sad

>skelly goes red in the face
>I've gone full autism by now and have no expression or use of my vocal cords
>viking looks real calm
>suggests they check the security footage to confirm he did not touch her
>fatty is still crying and tries to get up
>her clothing is all dark at the bottom and there is a pool on the mat
>we all realise she's pissed on the mat
>nope, nope, nope
>every FPS I ever read on Veeky Forums just comes flooding to my mind
>nooooope
>I back off until my back hits a wall (no viking this time)
>manager asks fatty to please come with him immediately, asks viking to follow
>but viking comes up to me
>asks if I'm alright
>I nod because I have lost the power of speech
>viking frowns
>I give him a thumbs up and what I hope passes for a grin but is probably just a baring of teeth
>viking frowns more but checks on skelly who says he's fine

>desperately want to leave but will be fucked if a fucking fatty ruins my workout by pissing on a mat
>do routine in faraway corner next to skelly
>you never seen such efficiency
>skelly is staring at me, at the mat
>realise skelly is probably just as autistic as me
>people come in to clean piss but the smell lingers
>viking returns after 20 minutes and starts working out too
>after while viking asks if he if can ask me a question
>sure
>asks whether I have suffered a back injury in the past
>tell him I have, broke TH9 and TH10, rehab took forever, still on specific exercise regime etc.
>we chat and he spots me, gives me good pointers
>afterwards gives me his number for a free check-up and maybe new work-out schedule for me
>thank him and head to the showers
>I made it. I survived
>but no!

>skelly jogs after me, starts talking rapidly, saying he is not a creep and I probably thought he was a creep for staring but he was definitely not a creep, but he just thought I looked nice and didn't mean to stare, but you can't look without staring haha.
>okay mate
>slowly edging towards showers
>skelly asks if I work out here often
>duck into showers, spot friend
>'had a nice workout? I love this gym'
>MFW EVERYTHING Veeky Forums TOLD ME ABOUT GYMS WAS TRUE

Phew, to be fair I was not really a player in this, I just saw it happen. According to my friend this gym sees drama like that all the time. who the fuck pisses on the floor in a gym?!

Viking turns out to be legit specialist working in a local clinic here.

>Marry viking
>Adopt skelly as child
>Make fatty family dog
>????
>Profit

Wow. I just never experienced anything like it. Guess I must have been lucky so far.

Sounded more a story about 2 guys hitting on you than a story about a fat chick.

Seriously you could have probably made it half the length if you skipped those parts, no one cares.