How do I get a better ass? Mine looks like a deflated souffle. Also general female body workouts

This.

clean ur room and get new panties

Thank you thank you thank you desu

Good lighting.

no u

>breasts are much better tho.

prove it

Wow op. I'm a dude and would love to trade my ass for yours. Chicks keep telling me "I got a booty" and it is quite embarrassing.

Try doing a shit ton of squats everyday to get a veloptous ass.

I know imma fat cunt, that's why I'm here, to improve myself. 44DDD

...

I will, gonna be sore as fuck tomorrow tho. Aren't you supposed to work up to higher numbers gradually. Like start with 30 then up to 60 over time?

God I hate those fucking bras so unattractive
I don't care how big your tits are, you can find a more aesthetic bra than that fucking parachute

lel you really hid your true power level in OP.
read the sticky, eat less.

Also, show tits or gtfo

Lose weight first doing cardio and eating at a deficient. Do your squats and hip thrusts after your at a weight you like.
If you start strength training now (squats,bridges) your fat will turn into muscle and you'll have a harder time getting rid of those whale legs.

you're*

I don't wanna be banned. This is a sfw board.

There's really not a lot of options even at big girl stores like Lane Bryant. I have a black one like this and a more attractive red one with a little jewel-y type thing in between.

I have lost 25 pounds over the last 2 months, I'm just now looking into actual exercise instead of walking.

There's loads of girls who go around the gym basically doing ass-curls, i.e. any exercise that targets just their glutes. I dunno if it works or if its a good idea.

In any case just losing weight will help, you don't need a bubble butt, nice tits are a great advantage, they're basically a front-ass.

S T R O N G C U R V E S
T
R
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N
G

C
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V
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S

Buy the book on eBay or Amazon for $20. Read it. Do the workout. It's great for women and butts.

That is correct.

I want to lose another 85 pounds. So it'll be awhile. Thank you for the advice.

my skin is just as flabby-looking ((dont mean to offend sorry sorry sorry)) as yours even though im not nearly as chubby :/
what does this mean?

do not listen to this

Can try Strong Curves. I have the advanced glute routine if you want.

Fair enough.
And I guess I've never really thought about it.

All the girls I've banged with humongo titters have pic related bras.

>I have lost 25 pounds over the last 2 months

I'm proud of ya. You're gonna make it femanonpai

Read da stickery

she also became much prettier in 2015 .. wow

Looks like a nigger lover

but wood still berry

kek'd at front ass. I'd like to be at my BMI of around 125-145. I really just want my legs and gut gone. Everything else isn't terrible, I've always had big legs.

I'll look into it thank you

My advice is to totally change everything about yourself. In your 2-3 posts you've already revealed your laziness and poor attitude.

Coming here was a good start, I suppose. But you didn't even ready the sticky.

With your attitude, i would not jump into this like you are doing. The female who posted the workout for you posted a good one, but let's be honest, it's too much for you. You need he basic of all basics.

Here's what I recommend.

For 3 weeks straight, make an effort to eat healthy foods and genuinely try to get more sleep. Drink 1/2 your body weight in ounces of water every day and do the following:

Walk for 30-45 minutes each day at any pace you would like but do it EVERY DAY.

Every other day, do the following:

Hip thrusts, body weight x 3 sets. Do as many as you can until you fail

Crunches, same as above

Push-ups on your knees, same

And some sort of back movement you dan do at home. Google around. I'd offer some examples but to be honest I've spent enough time replying to you and I generally lack hope for you

Good luck

No... no... they aren't any better

You are fucking disgusting

Hip thrusts/glute bridges. Although some people do just have sad asses no matter how hard they might try work them.

Also I see you have the unfortunate violin hips. I feel your pain.

don't be mean to her

You're not offending anyone, nothing offensive about the truth. I'm not sure what it means, I've just recently tried getting in shape.

What would you recommend then?

Big'ol Udders need support and more coverage to keep them contained, they can't be contained with B-cup lacey bras. I have lost a bit of breast weight as well as all over weight but it's more noticeably been my stomach. Thank you for the support.

Yeah op you're really pushin the max weight limit on them panties, but caloric deficit, squats, cardio to drop that bag of oatmeal look you got going, lift heavy and READ THE FUCKING STICKY YOU FAT PIECE OF SHIT!!

Looking at your pictures i imagine a very disgusting face with swollen cheeks, thick eyeglasses and annoying, greasy hair. Possibly some acne.

Am I correct? Fucking disgusting, I can only imagine your foul stench from here

Start doing SS. Do linear periodilzation on all of your lifts. Read the sticky. It'll break everything down that you need to know. I recommend a multivitamin and drinking more water. Fatties never get enough water. Count macros, make sure your lifts progress, cardio daily. 30 minutes on the elliptical no matter what you do that day.

It's a storage room dude, It's where i keep pet food, stuffed animals from claw machines, and blankets and sheets. it is no indication on the rest of my living conditions. I could take pics of my granite countertops and living room if you want. I do appreciate the advice but my house is clean.

It's ok, it's the truth.

Violin hips? never heard of that.

bad bait

Fuck off dude

The only thing you need to do is discipline, start from right now eating properly, force yourself to do so, follow advice and don't give up ever. Results will come, slowly but they do.

I have lost weight as I've previously stated. 25 pounds over 2 months. I walk a lot around campus and the park, partly for weight loss and partly for pokemon. I'm still pretty determined to lose weight, fat hate threads are ample motivation.

I'm very nervous about getting a gym subscription. I wanted to go for Gold's Gym but am nervous about judgmental people. I don't have anyone to go with either, even my parents refuse. I have no home workout equipment but I know I should more formally work out.

I'm assuming the weird shape on your hips like in pic isn't from your underwear being tight but from unfortunate fat distribution. Looks like a violin.

squats, deadlifts, rdl

Get a personal trainer if your worried about looking weird. I'd recommend it honestly, they'll help you with form a lot and show you the way on something like starting strength.

>lel you really hid your true power level in OP.

JESUS CHRIST THIS

>Fuck off dude
Really? I thought we were smarter than this on this board. Now, I'm not who you replied to but come on, don't be a white knight. It's a tits or gtfo world out here.

Jesus christ

T H I C C

Cancer. As long as they have the will to improve and admit they're not happy that's all we care about here faggot. This is an alpha board.
Go back to /b/ you autist.

If you really dont want to join a gym you're gonna hinder your progress a lot but I understand, buy a set of dumbells and start working out in your home, even if its not the most efficient way you're doing "something".

Stick to cardio/diet, and keep being patience, 25 pounds is a lot, can't imagine how you looked before.

Ahh I see, you are correct. How would you remedy that? just losing weight? Is that an unattractive trait.

I'd hit it if it's clean and not piss.

That only happens in /b/ where retards like you belong.

>As long as they have the will to improve and admit they're not happy that's all we care about here faggot

They clearly don't have that will if they're here posting instead of reading the sticky or being the in the gym right now.

>This is an alpha board.

What is alpha about letting yourself get to OP's state? You could notice you need a change about 10-15% bodyfat ago.

Also this board is anything from 'alpha', look at all the "tfw no gf" posts that hit bump limit every time and all the shitposting

>Being so much of a chubbychaser that you will whiteknight a 2/10 obese woman on an anime imageboard

lmao

>BMI of around 125-145

Big gut and fatter thighs.

kek I know

I'll look into it.

It's fine, it's the truth, it doesn't bother me.

Damn I cringed so hard I fell off your mom's bed faggot.

DELET THIS

Man up and hit the fucking gym, if you want chad to fuck your pussy you need to fix shit.

"If you cant do something, you MUST do it"

You're either as fat as her and feel offended or you think a severely overweight woman from the internet is going to come have sex with you.

Rekt lmao

>They clearly don't have that will
This is the only part of your post that I disagree with. They are trying to change by getting some advice on what to do from ``the pros'''. The rest is 100% legit.

For a 5 foot 5 woman 125 to 145 is a healthy weight. Or have I been reading the wrong thing.

Don't believe western standards they are waaaaaaaaaaay fucking off. I've seen women that look like they're 160 say they're fine because their BMI says so.

pretty much this. You look really bad now and you need to lose some weight first before you start doing any serious routine

Well what would you recommend.

you're not going to look into anything

You're just making this thread to get a bunch of advice, say "Uh huh will do, thanks" and feel better about yourself because you just got a dopamine boost and tricked your brain into thinking you've accomplished something already.

You are already making excuses from like your 2nd or 3rd post, you'll just be back here in a month or you'll be in your same state in a year from now.

STICKY, READ THE FUCKING STICKY. THERE'S A DINOSAUR WALKING AROUND THERE. do cardio, eat a caloric deficit, but that's too hard. I need my own personalized thread full of the same advice as the sticky. Maybe my body is unique and people will give me some secret advice

I find it unattractive on myself because I'll get self-conscious in tight dresses but its nothing some Spanx can't fix (see pic). I found it wasn't as bad as I got to a lower weight and I'm sure lifting would help with body recomp. Honestly I don't think guys care about it too much, I've never had one point it out.

nhs.uk/chq/Pages/3215.aspx?CategoryID=52

>BMI of 125 to 145

Both of you faggots need to go back to /b/. Damn autists.
Op don't listen to these kids it's summer around here. You are nasty though and it's good you can admit it. Really you're not that far gone. 1 year you can maybe be hot depending on dat face.
1 year isn't really shit.

Well this is still a better thread than most of the shitposting on this African money laundering site, so stop being autistic kid.

Asian standard will make someone look like a twig. Western standard will make someone look like a walrus.

Hope you're good at math because you'll be finding the median.

what's the point of this thread besides ego-stroking from whiteknights when there isn't a single word of advice ITT that isn't identical to the sticky?

>american women

the stereotypes are true

Most stereotypes are true.

>ego stroking
>has been called nasty 538 times in the thread already.
Wut.

BREHS

Quads.

Anyways OPie, if it makes you feel any better, I would in fact dump a thicc load of cream on your chest after you suck the meat off my dick like some sort of spicy chicken wing.

ARIZONA

ok, as I've stated I have lost weight. 25 pounds over the last 2 months. It's not hard at all really. I eat less, I walk everyday for at least and hour around my neighborhood, nearby parks, and my campus. I'm sorry you're upset, I am new to this board, I did not read the sticky. I apologize.

Nice quads, and nice advice.

If i didn't admit my flaws I wouldn't be trying to improve. I want to be at my optimal weight and in shape by my next birthday in summer. I started dieting the day after my birthday, cold turkey.

I am sorry, I did not read the sticky, I am new to this board.

Lurking this. I'm training my sister and she said she wants a big ass. All I've given her is some lat and tricep definition lol.

I figure if she can 5x5 60kg squat her ass will grow.

What is this a get thread? I don't like chicken wings tho, just the breasts and thighs.

Word of advice, don't hold your hands over your stomach like that during sex. If you are banging a dude he already thinks you look good enough to fuck and awkwardly trying to leave your shirt on or pull a sheet across your stomach just makes things weird.

>those sausage fingers

From the looks of it, it doesn't seem like you care what you put in your mouth ;)

After I glaze your tits, would love to see you lick the cream off. Missionary or cowgirl tho? Whatever the position I wanna see those things moveee

1. stop being fat
2. good mornings
3. ????
4. profit

>After I glaze your tits, would love to see you lick the cream off. Missionary or cowgirl tho? Whatever the position I wanna see those things moveee

What went wrong in your life

>advanced glute routine if you want.
Just dump it.

It's because you aren't look at her face anymore user.

I lost 70lbs just from walking around a lot, would recommend, you do you girlfriend. Wish I'd started strength training earlier though so I wasn't such an atrophied mess from the outset. I too was nervous about joining a gym; I've since come to realise that everyone (at my gym, at least) who isn't a middle-aged woman is basically a Veeky Forums-tier autist. Like, I was watching a Buff Dudes gym crimes video the other day and one of the "crimes" was people who shadowbox between sets, and I was all,
>"haha"
>"detecting a hint of hyperbole here"
>go to gym later that day
>witness a man shadowbox between sets
>thisisfine.jpg

Humans are just innately eccentric, I think

I do contest one thing though
>tig old bitties are not well catered for
as a chestlet I consider this wildly incorrect

Summoned the courage to start doing glute bridges this week
Pros:
>insane doms, have to John Wayne walk everywhere the day after
>whistled at twice
Cons:
>whistled at twice
#everydaysexism

blogilates pls go

violin hips are a meme
disregard

Dubs v Dubs

Actually my life has been pretty cheese I'm actually quite blessed! Just love to cream on chicks, in or out always has been a heavy urge of mine.

I just hope when you do drop the lbs that you retain some tits, thats your main pull atm.

First worry about not being fat, then you can fix everything else.

I don't think you should be doing SS right away, SS is for gaining mass and strength. You need to cut first. Eat below maintenance, cut sugar and just generally look into what kind of micronutrients you need to consume daily. Exercise wise focus more on cardio than lifting.
Once you've lost some weight, you can start lifting more and gaining mass in the right places. IMO you have the body for some amazing curves if you lose the extra pounds and do some squats.

5 sets of 20 facesits.