Market a gym to fat women

Over 300 calories in 1bagel not including the creamchez

I demand a 30 min prank show with a fit guy eating those like a mother fucker and making huge "gains" in front of fatties.

I mean, really stuff his face, and spewing bullshit like "30min window" "Sugar only diet" and flexing aggressively his abs in a mirror while saying things about the diet working.

not really the threads point but i was doing this when i was broke on the last 5 months
>be me, broke up with gf, moved to live alone
>had surgery and lost couple thousand dollars
>1 month goes by and i'm broke at a smaller apartment that costs me 200 bucks more because i'm living alone
>need to workout but don't have enough money to eat good food and pay for gym
>went to shitty gym, pay 1 month
>there was a fingerprint scanner or a 6 number password to enter the gym
>on the first day i saw a fat woman typing "111111" and entering
>i'm liftinng with her password for the last 4 months

Will it be like Canadian prank shows where there is some forced audience laughter audio clip from the 80's?

But then someone would turn on the LUNK ALARM

youtube.com/watch?v=UXP6WaVTJpM

>tipping at the gym
>america

>being this new

Am I the only one who doesn't like breads when hot and sweaty? Especially sweet stuff like bagels.

They are, and good on them for seizing the market of people who want to portray the image of working out without working hard.

My recent ex and her friend got a membership there. They begged me to go with them to show them a routine. They, along with most of the people there just wanted to take it easy and dick around but say they go to the gym.

I'm sure some people get their money's worth and work hard at PF, but it was a sad scene when I was there of chubby young girls and fat middle aged people slowly spinning on elipticals

No, that shit is a bad idea, working out feels like shit when you're fat and that shit is going to keep them fat. What they should is only give goodies out at random intervals both date and timewise so the fatties will come expecting treats but get only gains.

my planet fitness never did that shit
fuckers never did anything those lazy fucks barely even cleaned the place or refilled the soap dispensers in the bathrooms

i changed gyms to a local smaller gym when those fuckers tried to grab me and accuse me of not paying the gym fees, when literally it was automatically deducted from my account every fucking month. as it always has been for the past 3 fucking years

that place was going to shit anyway, stupid ass crossfit faggots were using the bench machines as pull up bars and fucking retarded shit like faggots would be sitting at the bench machines and literally hovering over them for an hour literally, acting like it was their own personal workout station , and wouldn't be actually using the machine, theyd just be alternating and using some other hand weights on the side

pissed me the fuck off everytime i went there, so many worthless fucking people just designed to waste my fucking time

>be PF
>piss of and alienate ppl who wear out my equipment
>atrackt ppl who will only show up for a few weeks and then never again
>make fees low enough so they never bother canceling

yeah PF is a good fucking business and thecnicaly not a scam

No forced laughter, HD cameras, mostly face close ups as they eat, calorie count and doughnut counts for each fatty as well as before/after pictures and weight.

In option, nutritionist reveal and final word.

I've been signed up for 3 months now. They're faggots. And their facilities are 5/10. I've never ate their food. I come in. Do my routine and leave. Once I hit my target weight of 200 I'll get a gym that has freeweights.

I don't understand the point if hating them. If you're a serious lifter then obviously it's underwhelming. It's an entry level gym.

Veeky Forums just hates it because Veeky Forums hates safe places. And they don't have freeweights. If you're a fatty with willpower it's great. (Better than nothing.)

What's your routine shitlord?

>they don't have freeweights
Wait is this for real? How do you have a gym without freeweights??

10$/month AND they give you free food? Too bad they don't let you drop weights (and i'm not from USA) or it would be 10/10

They checked their strength privilege you cis unnigger.

They have dumbbells up to 60 lbs and smith machines. But no bars. Everything else is machine.

Shoulders/arms/core then cardio

Back/chest/core then cardio

Legs/core then cardio

Pls no bully. I didn't have father's growing up.

I heard there were no free weights

I'm fine working in a low key public gym with mainly old people.

It's easier to find a qt come in since wee both young and that's a big conversation starter.

>no bars
You are supposed to bench on a smith machine?

Bagels aren't sweet...

What have you Amerifats been up to? Lmao

Lol if you want to drag a bench under it. I never do that. I use the chest machines or bench with dumbbells. Once I get my weight down I will definitely switch gyms to a place that isn't so worried about catering to us fatties.

Tanning beds are for black card members, thats 25$ a month. Bagels are only one day of the month and so is pizza. The only food out regularly is a bowl of tootsie rolls.

Nice post but it falters if you know anything about PF.

Americans are fucking disgusting fat cucks

I guess I don't know much about PF, then.

>They have dumbbells up to 60 lbs and smith machines. But no bars. Everything else is machine.
at least that prevent the curlbro invasion

There are some that have some sugary things like berries in them. Most don't.

Well they technically aren't but you eat them with butter and jelly

she's ugly no matter how much makeup she wear

That's bullshit.

If I'm going to a gym with no free weights they better fucking serve me bagels and dipping ranch every fucking day or at least once a week. Why else would I go to a place with no barbell? And if they only have Dumbbells up to 60lbs how does anyone even trigger the lunk alarm? Do you have to pick up a dumbbell and throw it at a butter golem eating pizza on the treadmill or is simply picking up a weight heavier than your purse enough to warrant castration? The only real noisy excercise is deadlifts, but they probably got spy microphones tuned in on everyone to hear if they snort slightly quick, so they can kick you out for exerting yourself in a way other than distending your stomach in preparation for an eating contest or wrapping your panis around your wife to keep her warm. And then they have the nerve to serve the bagels on disposable plates, insulting you while feeding you. Fuckers.

The only thing I'm "hungry" for during or after a workout is fucking protein shakes and water. Any other answer is wrong.

>And if they only have Dumbbells up to 60lbs how does anyone even trigger the lunk alarm? Do you have to pick up a dumbbell and throw it at a butter golem eating pizza on the treadmill or is simply picking up a weight heavier than your purse enough to warrant castration?

Just watch and learn
youtube.com/watch?v=aKXjStndpIc

>it's an actual alarm

My god, I thought it was just a joke. Jesus fucking christ why would anyone give them business?

If I were homeless I'd scrounge up ten bucks a month for shelter, free food, showers, and a workout. But I'd literally have to be starving and homeless before I'd consider PF.

>And then they have the nerve to serve the bagels on disposable plates, insulting you while feeding you.

how are disposable plates insulting tho

I use lift benches as chairs when I'm tired because there are no chairs in the gym

The styrofoam alters the flavor palette. If you want to actually taste the sesame seeds or whole grain you need ceramic minimum, though obviously gold plated will leave a completely ionicaly neutral tongue residue. The tiny flecks of styrofoam dug up by the frantic maneuvers of an under strength plastic fork dramatically destroys the mouthfeel, and lingers in the mouth, affecting your post aperitif hydrowhey protein shake. The effect persists uncomfortably long.

It's insulting to serve someone a bagel and then not even let them taste the unvarnished bagel flavor. Like, why bother? Might as well give us a feed bag of pig slop.

>bagels
>sweet

Fatties like the alarm because it gives them an excuse to stop mid "workout"

ITT: lunks

please leave

Autism

>pizza only once a month, as a special occasion
>it's free

seems great desu

>high carb, high fat, greasy food
>belonging in a gym ever

LMAO! You fell for the meme.

how does it feel to be a loser? :^)

>tips
>to the gym
Wtf I hate America now

>Veeky Forums hates safe places
What does this even mean? It sounds like something a reddit faggot would say. The basis of the starter workout on this board has squats in every workout and frequent use of bench, OHP and deadlift. If it's an entry level gym they do shitty job of that because it lacks the equipment to do the most popular entry level routine here.

>once a month
>what are cheat meals

don't be autsitic, man

Every when do they give out pizza and bagel? Pay $10 a month while bulking, and go there when they're giving them out to grab at least $20 worth of bulking material every time.
>sir I think you've had enough
>I THOUGHT THIS WAS A JUDGMENT FREE ZONE

there's no food though.
Also lots of buff guys and cardio bunnies

In many cities it's the only place with even a half decent amount of free weights

also there is no connection to McDonalds

They don't even serve ranch with their pizza.

How is it that sensitive? Do they have the floors rigged with microphones or does some employee manually trigger it?

>10 dollar membership
>200 customers
>pizza cost them 60 dollars
Profit of over 1.7k dollars a month

>hour of cardio burns 200-450 calories
>two pizza slices 600 calories
Fatties are actually gaining weight.

Is PF owned by Jews out of curiosity?

Is this a weekly thing tho?

Kill yourself you retarded fat faggot

Look at Johnny Nogains over here

Welcome summerfriend!

Small guy detected

>Hour of cardio burns 200-450kcal
Depend what ,maybe that dumb looking pedalling one yeah but I can assure you that you'll burn twice that amount running an hour
Not that your point doesn't stand anyway.
>Is PF owned by Jews out of curiosity?
I recall the chairman is jewish and the CEO isn't

>you
I don't eat them full stop and most often see them with smoked salmon. The fuck is wrong with you hamplanets?

>Being intimidating
RING THE LUNK ALARM

>tfw hungry skeleton and starting in PF soon
It's not like I need hardcore equipment yet.

Mfw I eat chocolate chip and cinnamon crunch bagels every week.

>Paying $10 for $2 worth of food once per month.
Fuck that famalam if you want to eat and meet qts there are thousands of better options for your $10, even a church would have pancakes and tea morning and its technically free.

Those are called doughnuts you sped.

>OMG did user just drop his weights.
>Eww what a freak.

just make sure the rest of the day you eat protein only lol

Jokes on you they have more calories than a donut.

[ ] Factual information
[ ] Gains
[x] Checkboxes

>pizza is the only cost they have
>not electricity, buying the building, equipments, paying salaries for several employees, insurance

Great maths m8

If youre not hungry for pussy at all times of the day youre a fucking faggot

But how do you really feel?

hm. a homeless person could abuse this

IIFYM BRAH! I'm gonna go get some donuts now, those look delectable

I just realized those were bagels not donuts. Whatever.

I have never had a donut, whats it like?

Fried cake.

They just realized that the biggest market is the 50 percent of people that just want to do 20 minutes of cardio and leave and not the 1% of people that want to lift weight for 2 hours.

Eating 1 bagel and 1 slice of pizza a month won't kill you.

It is fucking genius, because they have people paying for gym memberships that literally won't ever be cancelled. Not only can you bring in clientele with the allure of a no judgement zone and free food, but you're convincing them that you can be fat and active.

It's fucking genius and they aren't doing anything wrong, because as we all know America is the land of freedom and excess. These people would end up being fat(fatter?) anyways if not for them.

Here you go, professor:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generic_you