Gym/PE class stories

And then we came last in literally every school sport in the district and they brought in a new sports teacher...

>ugly guy, always looks disgusted and has a hideous moustache
>great body though, a built guy
>ALWAYS YELLING LIKE THIS
>after one day of him watching us do our usual shit he gathers everybody together
>"OK, FROM NOW ON, IF YOU ARE LATE YOU WILL BE DOCKED 1% OF YOUR FINAL GRADE, IF YOU SKIP CLASS 5%, DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?"
>"GOOD! NOW YOU WILL AL BE HERE BEFORE THE SECOND BELL, LINED UP AND READY, YOU WILL HAVE 5 MINUTES TO CHANGE THAT IS ALL"
>"AT THE END OF EVERY SESSION, YOU WILL ALL SHOWER, NO EXCEPTIONS, STOP BEING FAGGOTS FOR FUCKS SAKE!"
>in the first 6 months we came 3rd in one sport and 2nd in another
>next semester people were split into groups depending on what sport they wanted to play and staggered starts so we would all change and shower together
>picked swimming becasue they were the friendliest people
>actually make PE class friends
>PE class becomes favourite class
>break school record for 200m freestyle
>in triathlon I came second in the state

Thank you, Coach Bert.

>when the sports club retreat has a circle jerk session
>that one kid who basically collapses when he cums and falls asleep naked on the person next to them, and has to be carried to bed
it was gayer than actually jerking each other off

>we came 3rd in one sport and 2nd in another
> I came second

"Good job"

>10 years ago at 8th grade PE
>everybody else stopped doing pushups before the 12th rep
>I was still pushing more than 50 reps

>playing netball in PE
>thisisgay.gif
>the girls in my year are very good
>going to enter some state level bullshit
>the girls who didn't get into their elite team want to make a mixed team and enter the mixed comp
>some how get roped in with two other bros
>practice with these chicks for weeks
>hook up with them all after school
>go to event
>lose badly
>hook up with luts from other schools
PE was good lads.

I used to go to a ghettoish middle school so sagging was considered cool and i would heavily overdo it
>rope climbing in PE
>sagging my basketball shorts down to my mid thigs
>my turn
>pretty athletic kid, going at it
>suddenly hearing laughter from the bottom
>theyre all staring at my ass and laughing
>ignore and keep climbing
>once i get dowm just run away to hamgout with a friend(he was a 16 year old 8th grader, very inner city type of guy)

...

One time I almost fainted after I landed a long jump wrong. I couldn't stand on my own or anything. instead of leaving me there to lie down for a couple minutes two of the teachers carry/walked me past half the school to somewhere to rest.

>tfw awkward as fuck but still Veeky Forums enough that people wanted me on their teams

He would've pulled mad grade school puss if he just put his fan arms down...

>H-hayai!

>tfw class clown all through high school
>happy performing monkey
>in final year realize they're not laughing WITH me
>I'm not taken seriously by anyone

>senior year of high school
>was the fat kid in my class
>but I was that fat kid that gave 110% and was dead at the end if every class
>was fairly quick on my feet so I wasn't picked last
>but I'd get the ball every time in handball
>and that's practically all we ever played
>tfw one day after sprinting up and down the gym for a fucking half hour I just ran off to the side and vommited my entire fucking lunch into a garbage can
>but thanks to this kind of shit I actually lost a considerable amount of weight

T-thanks guys. I think I know what you were up to.

Its a hard feel to digest but it is what it is. We can only better ourselves at this point.

>senior year
>playing free for all dodgeball
>wherever you get hit, you sit down
>final 2 people are me and some other lanky fucker
>whip a rubber ball as hard as I can at him
>curves and smashes into the face of a popular slut who was actually nice to me sort of
>she starts crying
I just sat down and stopped playing. She was taller and sort of athletic though so I was worried she'd try to kick my ass.

Also
>playing baseball
>PE class is full of jocks
>I don't know what the fuck I'm doing
>kid makes it to third and I have the ball at home
>he fakes running for home
>for some reason I decide to throw the ball to third
>he scores and everyone calls me a retard

I cant throw for shit but whenever we played dodgeball I was nigh impossible to hit. Felt like motherfucking neo or something.

>triple jump
>always got the timing wrong on when to jump
>practice and get pretty good, can jump pretty far
>school sports day
>triple jump, time to show off
>my turn
>get confident and start running
>notice girls watching
>oshit
>nearing sand, the time is night
>keep running through all the way onto the sand
>people look at me weird and see some people laughing

nigh*

Same. The only time I could throw a ball well was in 9th grade when we'd face the 7th graders for shits and giggles. I just liked wrecking those little fuckers.
Middle school for me was 7th-9th btw

That was me in elementary school when we would play it during recess before schools went full "DODGEBALL IS THE DEVIL" on us.

Couldn't throw for shit but was built like a fucking twig. Wore slim clothes and they were still loose. Would go up to the line and compensate for my inability to throw balls by throwing bantz and dodging everything they threw at me. Was almost never out.

>hapkido in primary school
>grading time, gonna get blue-belt. feelsawesome
>paired with girl for grappling
>she starts crying 1 minute in
>must continue
>her parents staring at me the whole time
still got blue belt in the end so whatevs

>be me, at school
>today is sports day but without the parents watching
>im really just helping out the teachers prepare the course
>noticed some of the girls had funny looking undies, wierd patterns, bright colours, etc..(our school didnt like girls with shorts so they wore sport skirt)
>have the most genius fucking idea a young perv could think off
>lay underneath the water fountain
>For about 2 hours all I saw were panties
>girls didn't care, they're too young to understand
>pe teacher never said a rhing
>to this day teach still reminds me how smart I was
>it was only last week
>im 18
Mfw

I got a 4 in every test for three years, still ended up with a 5 because I was the only one who always showed up lol

What's the difference between a sport skirt and a skirt?

They're tight around the legs and not made of fucking paper

kek your frog pic goes perfectly, keep your chin up, court jester

"alright class, today we will be doing the beep test"

not sure if you 'mericans do it

youtube.com/watch?v=nNsVzKt5lPQ

>

>Would go up to the line and compensate for my inability to throw balls by throwing bantz

This reminds me

>Gym class
>Every other day, some fellow students sneak up on one other student and push in the back of his knees while he's chilling, some people fall, they all laugh, help him up and they do it to someone else next day
>One time be by the window chilling
>Fellow student comes up and starts chatting with me
>Other guy comes up behind me and kicks the back of my knees full force
>Fall to the ground hard in a mixture of terror and "I have to laugh because this must be the usual joke"
>Legs below the knees are legitimately numb
>Try to stand up while half laughing, all others above me are roaring with daughter
>Can't stand up
>They proceed to start sitting on me and kicking me while down
>Math teacher happens to pass by and break it up, helps me up, I'm limping

What is worse is that at this day I realized they did not just ignore me, they had fun while hitting me. What was an innocent one-laugh-then-stop joke for everyone else was a kick-until-we're-satisfied with me.

I don't know. I fucking hated high school

was in tennis last time, had to do this shit every 2 weeks under the sun

Man I love being tall as a kid. No one tries that shit when you are six foot.

I was 194cm

What are you a giraffe?

Fuck user why do you go and remind me of how stupid I was.
This shit right here.
Realizing this shit made me go from the loud stupid mother fucker to the shy quiet kid that almost never spoke.
Senior year sucked I didn't even go to prom with bros

> be in 8th grade PE
> 14 second 100m
> all the cucked upper middle class white kids beat me
> barely tie with my shitty unathletic asian friend
> 6 years later
> much stronger than them and a couple inches taller (im 6'1)

Truly a good feel.

that kid who ran like Naruto had autism. He would always do it after the last bell, then the bullies would run with him just to joke around thinking he had friends. I had one class with him, he would always yell and twitch his head and he couldn't even copy notes, we'd wait an extra 5 minutes. I think he barely passed the retard limit

>tfw being picked on as a kid made you learn to make people laugh
>tfw go from quiet weird kid to quiet kid who occasionally makes people burst out laughing
>tfw I probably wouldn't have any friends now if people didnt make fun of me when I was younger
Thanks guys. I definitely was not thinking about violently brutalizing you at the time.

>Girls complain every week about period pains to male PE teacher
>Male teacher can't call them out on it
>Girls sit out entire class gossiping and on their phones
>Girls then proceed to talk about equality and how feminism is important because women are hard done by

Some of the chicks who did this are now fat and it makes me happy.

There was a similar tipping point at my highschool

>Popular kids bullied the nerdy/awkward kids
>Popular kids hit 16-17yo and start drinking and partying every night
>Nerdy/spergs all seemed to start going to the gym religiously
>Autists became significantly bigger than the popular kids

They still weren't accepted or liked by the popular portion of the school but they were respected and in some cases feared so they never took shit from them again.

Had a kid similar to that in my school a bit more high functioning though.
I remember in middle school when the autistic kid got caught fapping to the schools cheerleaders since he shared math class with them had to go to the office and call his money to go pick him up.
>shy kid who makes burst out in laughter
I remember at one point one of the preppy kids would make an effort to sit close enough to me to hear whatever I said. I didn't talk to him or anyone else really just occasionally think out loud and others would laugh

Should have completely annihilated her

Played soccer in PE all the time. Loved the game, I was either attacker or goalkeeper. Enjoyed every minute.
Some year coach makes us play basketball a lot more. I really don't like the game, though had 3 years extracurriculum basketball training.
I and one of my friends walk away and just do some nonsense things with the pull up bar etc.

Coach (old dude who was 1:1 Don Frye looking guy) comes looks at us for a second.
- Guys, come here
Opens the gym equipment room
- Take this, can you lift it?
hands over 16kg (35lbs) kettlebell. I can move it around and do press, but struggle to hold it even for a sec in straight hand in front of me
coach gives us some dumbbells, tells us to be careful and leaves us.

And so I had my first taste of weights. Now, 10 years later I go to gym every other day and deadlift 400lbs and curl 45 etc. Fucking in love with bodybuilding and aesthetics. The old coach died few years ago, but he will always remain in my memory as the one who set me on the best path.

Grew from a 5'5 beta 100lbs weakling class clown into a 6'1 195lbs alpha badass pussy smashing clown

>5th grade
>only time I ever really had a bully
>slightly overweight kid
>this kid would give me shit on a regular basis
>followed the whole good goy line of telling my teachers and what not
>nothing happened
>changing in gym one day
>kid comes up and flips my shirt over my head
>starts slapping my stomach
>snap
>swing and hit him
>get my shirt down
>grab him by the waist and charge him into the wall
>start punching him in the stomach
>everyone is just standing around in shock
>after a few good hits he starts shrieking that he gives up
>still pissed because I was an angsty faggot with anger issues
>wrap my arm around his neck and drag him to the ground
>he gets a punch or two in but I just start wailing on his ribs
>he starts yelling and crying
>I keep my arm around his neck and just keep punching him
>gym teacher comes in and rips me off of him
>get suspended for two weeks (on ISS and one OSS) for "starting a fight" because it was easier to believe his story than mine considering the circumstances
>tell my side of the story to my parents
>they believe me
>dad just pats me on the shoulder and says I did good
>don't actually get in trouble at home for it

>Be me
>All girls school
>Swimming lesson every week for half the year
>Butch dyke PE teacher goes in on girls when they use muh period as excuse
>WHAT? TOO SCARED TO USE A TAMPON???
>Mfw never had my period, just 'forgot' my swimsuit

Ahh I remember playing soccer in school. I had terrible accuracy but I was good enough at defending and getting the ball off people people still wanted me on their team.
Favorite trick was to plant my foot behind the ball and let them kick it. Always messed them up when they did it.

That's a good dad. Words are one thing, but physical bullying demands satisfaction. Ya did good.

>telling the teachers
>ever
Not only does it make you a snitch, they are guaranteed to make any situation they intervene in worse.

in our school you had to swim in your underwear if you forgot your kit

I am from le europe, so soccer was common.
we played rugby for a very short time as well.
but soccer, volley, running and all that crap was the basis

>be runner in 7th grade
>5:13 mile time
>mile run time trial
>going to be a try hard shit for brains
>time trial starts
>all my friends box me in the entire time
>they're all football players
>much bigger than my scrawny white ass
>ran like a 9:30 or something
>tfw

>that girl that walked the mile

>got the stomach flu before the mile
>couldn't run it because any physical activity shortly after that made me vomit
>gym teacher gave me an extension
>still couldn't do it without falling off of the track and vomtiting around 3/4 mile
>eventually just say fuck it and walk
>15 minutes
>still not even close to the slowest
>some girl took fucking 32 minutes
>mfw

>class football
>was nerdy, so I'd always be put at defense
>always in defense, so get good at defending
>then people wanted me for defense

>that kid who hated you for no reason

>the shit guy was always put in goals
I was always thinking in my head "Oh shit niggers what are you doing?" Why wouldn't you put someone good there? Its arguably the most important position.

hey fuck you buddy

>one guy in school hated me for no reason and bullied me
>all of a sudden he stops one day and tells me he wants to be friends
>idontknowwhatthefuckisgoingon.jpg

Anyone else?

After 6 months from being dead fucking last that's a huge improvment

I miss Phys Ed, it was so fun being social with other people while doing something physical. Now I'm fucking 23 and people look at me like I'm a retard if I show up and ask them if they wanna come with and play some volleyball instead of just sitting on the porch and drinking like mongs.
>Running through the city with thirty other people
>Spinning classes
>Lifting in pairs
>Rope climbs
>Relay swimming races
>Corner football
>Handball
>Volleyball
>Dodgeball
>Penis inspection day

>tfw decent at sports but still got picked last

Guys how about discussing this in /r/teenagers?

He wanted to kiss you

>tfw normally first pick

>Naruto
>Ninja
>Wears bright orange

>that one day in gym class where you sat and did paperwork all day
>fucking dancing
>that kid that ran around the locker room at the pool and just pointed at everyone's dick yellingn HAHAHAAH TINY PENIS (fuck you Tyler, nobody liked you. I was glad when you got arrested a couple years later for bringing an airshit gun to school to threaten another kid with because you thought you were a real OG.)
>junior and senior year were pretty rad
>same class both years
>that group of girls that would just stand in the back and not do anything
>tfw we would gang up on them in totally not dodgeball because the class was the perfect mix of kids that didn't fucking care if these roasties liked them or not
>the girls gettig their own separate fucking gym class because of that where they'd go do Yoga in the wrestling room all day
>that one guy that tried to join them but got told that was absolutely not going to happen
>that one genuinely autistic freshman that was in a senior gym class
>we tried to be nice to him but he was unbearable
>it got to the point where we would literally tell him to fuck off
>he would pester us with his bullshit Cawadooty fantasies about being invited to join a top secret special forces group and about shooting his dads .50bmg at a car full of C4 and making it explode (in >>>>>New York allegedly)
>one day he got into the weight room before gym and grabbed the medicine ball
>came up to my group waiting in the hall bullshitting
>autistic kid just yells out "HEY GUYS WATCH THIS"
>we turn to look at him
>he chucks the medicine ball at the ceiling as hard as he can
>breaks a few celing tiles and the ball comes back down and almost pegs him
>our faces when
>gym teacher comes out
>kid hauls ass
>that one time that fat autistic weeb/goth chick tried to hit on my friend
>he politely shut her down
>then casually mentioned that there was no way that was going to happen after she left
>she then came shrieking towards him and started hitting him
Cont.

>the bully
That was me ;_;

In my defense there were kids who couldn't even throw or catch at 14. Come on who is that retarded

i remember doing that in primary school and falling flat on my face and crying. good times

You ever seen an orange ninja?

>he slammed her into the wall to get her to stop
>she then started screaming hysterically and threw herself on the ground
>started screaming that we ganged up on her and assaulted her
>female gym teacher finally gets her up off of the ground
>everyones story fits with exactly what my friends and I said happened so we don't get in any trouble, she gets a couple day suspension

>that one kid that got pansted during boys vs girls volleyball the one day he decided to go commando

>that one kid who's nuts were a magnet for flying objects and he'd get a direct hit almost every gym class

>that one girl with the 11/10 ass and booty shorts that gave literally every guy in class an erection we had to tuck

>shy kid in school
>go to big rugby playing school
>playing rugby for P.E.
>always nervous when get the ball so pass it immediately
>not feeling nervous this time so have a run with the ball
>beat a couple of players before I get tackled
>did this a few more times with varying success
>end of session coach comes up to me and tells me to come to practice after school
>started making the 1st team in around the end of that year.
>confidence picked up after that
>We ended up winning the schools cup in my final year with me playing and got voted motm
>felt pretty good man

>Be metal head during high school in a public school
>PE was literally a smoke break with some b-ball involved
>tfw teacher didnt even try to stop us, just asked us to play something when we were done with our cigs
>Make sure to compensate teacher for being understanding by helping him sort out and store all the equipment after classes

Overall PE was pretty fun, I cringe when I remember how much of a shit head I was back then but puberty right? It can't be helped.

>being the only kid left
>can taste blood and feel like my legs are about to break
>wrecking the shitters who went out at like level 9 and making them stay into lunch break to watch me finish

Wow there was a kid who did this in my gym class and I'm just realizing what he was doing. Thx, user.
>mfw I look back fondly on how I used to fuck with him.
I would palm his head and squeeze it really hard. It was really weird; his skull felt super mailable in my hand.

>be me 13 years ago
>be me in PE
>doing dumb pokemon shit with my friends, have those foam pokemon balls
>enter demarcus
>6'2", 270+lb, 15 year old black retard
>he is what they mean when they talk about retard strength
>runs up to me and the other 11 year olds and yells "POHGMON!"
>grabs scrawny friend by the back of the shirt
>VERY fast retard running at incredible hihg speeds
>poor scrawny friendo looking at us in terror as he's dragged away
>we hear an amazing, terrifying demarcus fart across the gymnasium
>poor friendo's head is right behind demarcus's ass
>PE teacher gives chase
>demarcus is now playing a game
>demarcus wins games
>"EH HAW EH HAW EH HAW EH HAW"
>now dragging friend in a lap around the gym
>fat PE teacher unable to keep up
>eventually lets scrawny friend go after about five minutes of this
>he drags our friend back to us
>"POHGMON!"

Fuckin' demarcus, man. I miss that big tard.

I remember there was this autistic Asian kid, was also fat, who could walk faster than he could run. At the beginning of the year he tried to run the mile and got a time of like 25 minutes but at the end of the year he walked and managed a 15 minute mile...

too many girls

I was a useless skinny fag back then who always got picked last at everything but dodgeball.

At dodgeball, I was the fucking king. I once came back from a 1v5 and clutched it for the team, catching 2 balls, matrixing a few, and generally prancing around in a manner that would have been incredibly gay if not for the fact that I was successfully dodging everything that was coming my way.

Anotha one
>gym class had a gaggle of deaf kids because its easier to group em together
>nerdy kid was blocking the door one day because we're supposed to line up and walk back to locker room
>teacher couldn't care less and every single class prior had just dismissed us to go change and leave
>deaf kids can't hear nerd so they get pissed and start shoving
>nerd shoves back and yells get in line
>three deaf kids proceed to punch him until he falls and then charge off to the locker room
>both the translator and the teacher step over the nerd while chatting and walk away
>the rest of the class watched the whole thing and as soon as the teacher left we all burst out laughing and chanting about how he got beat up by a bunch of retards
To be fair though, the deaf kids were pretty normal and they worked out too so they had some decent muscle. They were also super competitive between each other because there was one deaf girl who was actually pretty cute and they were her only friends so they always tried to impress her.

Actual retard or just stupid black guy?

Real retard. He would only wear sweatpants because he would take off any jeans/shorts in the hallways. He liked sweatpants a lot.

That's great. Black retards are so funny.

Why wouldn't you niggers hang out with the deaf people? Especially if one was cute.

how

life isn't exactly koe no katachi

it's good though

I know some deaf people, they can lip read well enough.

hungarian?

>Americans are afraid of running a mile
>meanwhile euro"poors" have to run 3km (almost 2 miles

Tldr;
>I came second
>"Good job"
Thank you, Coach Bert.

>have alpha PE teacher in full control of everything
>gets injured playing some chad sport
>beta biology teacher subs in for him
>class comes 5min early for every lesson, sets up goals and starts playing football
>bio-beta tried to object on first 2 occasions, then just shook his head and sat down after coming in to see whole class already playing football
>6 weeks PE of nothing but football for class and lots of reading time for our bio teacher
>mfw he never complained about us or tried any disciplinary shenanigans

>tfw was fat socially awkward fuck all of highschool
>join personal fitness junior year and started to gain but broke my collar bone dirt biking so had to drop
>rejoined senior year and had mad gainz
>tfw goy laid and made friends
I regret ever giving up lifting after school

because they are weird and talk like monkeys