Hey, user, I just made burritos. You want one?

>Hey, user, I just made burritos. You want one?

Sure Boxxy, I just don't eat red meat.

How about i bury my burrito inside your mouth?

No you plain Jane brunette whore, go dye your hair blonde and then ask me

Too bad she's fat now. Oh well...

how about I burrito in your mouth instead?

who the fuk. get out of my house

Give me a calorie count, protein count, and fat count and maybe I'll eat one you dumb bitch

Last time I saw her in some dumb music video she was just thicc with stupid hair

W-Why is a girl in my house?!

She likes meaty burritos, sorry buddy

Uhh, I thought we both agreed to call them "gainz capsules" from now on.

*grab her by the throat*

back the fuck off ?!?!

MUH QUEEN

Kek

I'd let Boxxy make me a burrito as long as she made it by my autistic standards. Since I'm assuming we're dating in this scenario she's surely been briefed on them by this point.

I look at her with a deadpan expression on my face. Somehow, the thought of having a burrito sounds wonderful to me but, alas, I know that the amount of refined flour in that tortilla will cause my belly to expand with great ease.

My culinary autism sets in, as does my regular autism as usual, as I clench my hands into fists and hyperventilate at the very inkling of such a delicious beaner bonanza entering my stomach.

I stare at the concoction for quite some time, no doubt casting a sense of unease over the entire kitchen as she has a puzzled look on her face.

"user-"

That's it.

My autism reaches critical levels.

I slap the burrito out of her hand and push her to the ground, undoing her pants and pulling them down to reveal her decently washed butthole and snatch. My immense natty gains pin her to the ground as I triumphantly raise the burrito into the air like the mighty Excalibur.

"I WILL GAINUS YOUR ANUS," I shout, my autism shuddering through her entire body.

I shove the cholo wrap right up her pooper in an attempt at reverse feeding, my arm getting up there all the way to the wrist. I think about Pokemon and shakily scream the theme song as I gleefully fist the beans, meat, and cheese into her anus.

At the end, when she is crying in a mangled heap on the floor, I lean over her and whisper into her ear:

"Now, you have my permission to die."

8/10, you lost me at the Pokemon and bane shit

> I think about Pokemon and shakily scream the theme song as I gleefully fist the beans, meat, and cheese into her anus.

KeK

dang, takes me back to when I was a 14 year old who browsed /b/

>"Now, you have my permission to die."

>I WILL GAINUS YOUR ANUS

Get the fuck outta my house
>Go and get my gun

...

Why didn't i find this funny at all ? am I completely depressed or what ?

...

samefag

Says (You)

Have a (you).

the posters count did not go up

are you the guy that wrote about the guy that needs to tap the underrate girl?

pls keep up the good work if so

>two different posters who already posted in the thread call you out

Oh gee I wonder why?

Classic.

Fuck off you cunt I'm on a cut

Don't burritos have good macros? So yes pls

Brunette>Blonde

Yes please, it's bulking season

Heeey, those are MY tendies. Get the fuck out of my house.

>yeah sure babe
>I'm glad I'm not a sub 170lb sedentary boy who cuts on less than 2500 calories.

Only if I can burri-these nuts in you later, bby

>Now you have my permission to die

I died.

Who is this penor cleaner?