Forget to call ahead and reserve a squat rack

>forget to call ahead and reserve a squat rack
>gym receptionist at the front desk tells me theyre all booked up for the night

I fucking wish you could call to reserve the squat rack

>gym has one (1) squat rack
>always in use when I get there
>lately some guy that spends 40 minutes on it has been showing up a little bit before I usually do
>now have to go even earlier to beat him to it

Not joining the LA Fitness master race

kek

"Hey bro can I work in with you?"

...

>tfw gym bro couldn't make it and I had to rent one of the in-house models

>tfw broke and can only afford to rent one of those shitty models instead of the premium ones

Wtf are you guys talking about? I've never been to a gym where you have to rent or reserve things.

>tfw new squat rack doesn't have ashtray

>tfw your gym has a no singles rule and you have to use the assigned gym bro

> call ahead to rent squating shorts
> all rented out, have to rent basketball shorts instead

>show up and 13% sauna gratuity isnt included in gym bill and I forgot my money clip
>get in big argument with receptionist about it
>she demands to see my membership Id
>produce it for her
>gains validation is expired
>revokes my gym membership
>get pissed off and throw my shaker bottle full of BCAAs at the squat rack
>forgot to tip on the way out also

fuck it im getting fat

>some asshole in the lockerroom pulled the poopscissors off the chain and the toilet has been clogged since

>tfw all curling racks are reserved
>tfw I'll have to curl in a random free spot

Mine too since some guy hurt himself without having a partner lifting. sucks

>tfw the gym valet lost my car keys
>had to hitch a ride home using the free complimentary gym side kart
>tfw he plays music when he pedals

>ask for a deadlift platform for party of 3
>hands me a buzzer and tells me it'll be a 45 minute wait

We just walked out right there

> gym bath assistant on break
> no one to get my bubbles ready for me

>tfw gym laid off oil boy for the sauna room

>forgot my coin purse
>can't get plates out of plate dispenser

> women's locker room security guard not on duty

>Gym has a no singles rule
>It's all cool, I always lift with my falcon anyway
>2 weeks later they have a no falcons policy
>have to smuggle my falcon through the window and dress him up as a pigeon with a New Years Resolution
>have to use the old earphones and coat trick to get past reception

Planet Fitness wishes they could kill my gains this easily

>tfw have to sign a terms and agreements after every rep since a recent accident

kek

>monday
>super ready for my chest workout that hit the chest from all angles
>realize i forgot to reserve the bench
Not even going to the gym i guess, cba waiting in line for the decline little shits.

>tfw last person in the squat rack didn't wipe off the squat plug

>tfw your gym has multiple locations and each has multiple squat racks, power cages, and half cages

> forgot to call ahead and now the gym shower viewing area is fully booked

dumb frog posters, im just waiting for some retard to talk about the gym showers ala the meme and forget that gyms actually have showers.

kek, I imagine you actually see those in yuropooria to keep poor people from stealing.

>tfw you forget your squat anvil and you get restrained by the fitness police
>tfw you have to go to the gym shower shower before taking a shower because you failed the penis inspection

home gyms suck

>tfw no skateboards in premium equipment section

> hit the gym bright and early
> natty section is closed

This thread has literally kept me from killing myself today. Thanks brehs.

>tfw self-checkout aisle at locker room is closed for maintenance

You mean your gym actually lets you kill yourself without an appointment?

Lucky bastard. Mine's about 3 months on the waiting list if you're lucky, and they always cancel appointments if some fucking cripple jumps the line.

> get ready
> drive all the way to gym
> forgot my county-issued exercise license

Pet peeve desu

>not bringing your own squat plug

gross t b h f a m

Nice, I laughed, have a (You)

>all the private shaker bottles are rented out
>have to share a shitty public one with some greasy roid freak
>shaker washer boy has been on leave for a week
>get sick from drinking from moldy cup
>fail my fitness test the next day and get my membership renewal declined
>no other gyms within a 15 mile area
>next round of recruitment is in January
Fucking hell

Holy shit

>tfw someone stole my Rogue 2.3 gas-powered triple-piston asshammer with optional scrotal-cupping attachment from locker

>all the skullcrusher helmets are taken

>just got done tipping the plate racking boy
>Mixing my shake
>Using retard grade protein powder because it's untaxed and the government is subsidizing retard strength like crazy
>It's not authorized for civilian use, but they won't know unless they check your shaker bottle or your stool for the dye
>Gains policy are checking the gym that afternoon
>3pl8 licenses, terms and agreements between reps, and appointment board are all getting audited
>Think I got away clean
>He sees the tip of my squat plug sticking out of my gym bag (which is in compliance with the smoking section [all Teflon so it's non-flammable])
>The shit on the tip of the plug is slightly red (why wash when it's your own plug?)
>"Sir, is that your plug"
>"Yeah, and I have a license for it. Am I being degained?"
>I'm noticing some residue from what looks to be retard graded protein shake
>Have to pretend to be retarded to avoid getting a ticket

>one of the gimp benches is open (basically padded bench seat with a hole in it at the bottom where the regular bench padding should be, you're supposed to put a bucket the receptionist gives you under it so literal retards can piss and shit while benching, one is on each side all the way back in the two corners of the freeweight area so they don't bother people)
>load up on snacks with my EBT card; cliff bars, whey, BCAAs, preworkout, oatmeal, eggwhites, whole milk, the works
>claim my comfy gimp bench
>"in with the new, out with the old" non-stop for the entire duration of my chest day, have half a mind to think I'm pissing and shitting supplements and food I ate earlier in the session
>workout over, get up to leave
>I forgot to get a bucket
>big mucousy turds running down an aisle turned into a slip-'n'-slide of piss and spilled protein shake (and a tiny little bit of blood, I don't get enough fiber)
>big bowl of plain oatmeal I didn't eat (because it wasnt strawberry flavor on the top) falls out of my lap and spills all over the place
>try to catch it and accidentally knock the rest of my shake over
I'd hate to be the weight reracking technician who had to clean that up, they probably closed that gym for the rest of the day and lost thousands of dollars due to cancelled memberships for "unliftable conditions".

Not my job. Do you also windex the mirrors and iron the trainer's shirts for them?

>tfw newbies wont squat on the curl rack

Where is this pasta from? I saw it in /TV

Nice meme by the way 7/10

Rate mine

only one i liked, +3 internet points

>tfw dip machine ran out of ingredients

>am I being degained

9/10 good one m8

Talk to me

You got audible?

I'll gift you some books. They're really good.

Ever heard of The Wheel of Time?

>forget iPod
>have to rent the only gramophone left

>it's Marathon Day in the treadmill room
>the cardio bunnies are wearing all the lifting belts
>can't do my hip abductions
fuck you

Reeeeeeee

You barbarian.

>forgot my functional strength equipment at home

> have to lift with gym standard freak beast equipment

>tfw drive to gym and pt tries to sell you training sessions and air filters

they didn't offer the plate rotation service? the fuck is wrong with them?

Kek

Good one

>escalator to the gym is under maintenance

>forgot to pay county muscle gains tax
>expired gains registration sticker on gym license
>friend is a receptionist so he sneaks me in
>ask to work in with someone in the squat rack
>stickler wants to see my gym license
>week later find out he reported me to the state board

at least I can workout in peace in jail

ishygddt

>just got 3000 reps on my Bar
>I'm it's been about 460 reps since my last plate rotation, so I figured I should go ahead and get serviced
>I take it to the Service Writer
>No line, thank goodness I got here early
>"Looks like you're just in time to get your plates rotated"
>Yeah, heh heh. Routine maintenance will make a Bar last longer
>"You're clips are getting close to the recommended 70-squeeze exchange, would you like for us to go ahead and take care of that?"
>Say it's fine. Don't want to have to change clips or go without maintenance (BarFax shows that kind of stuff)
>While I'm waiting a Bar Salesman asks if I'm in service
>"Just getting my plates rotated and clips changed"
>Listen, we've got some great rebates on these bars right now. If you've got a few minutes, I think I've got one or two left. Let's see if we can trade you into something newer and with lower reps
>I look at one of the models and decide to see what we can do on a more basic model
>Not a lot of bells and whistles (didn't have air-conditioned grips, a squat plug rack, or an ash tray, but the knurling package was nice)
>25% in rebates ($50 off)
>End up getting $100 dollars for my model (BarFax was clean and his manager really liked my Bar. Said it'd make a good first time bar for a teenager)
>They covered my plate rotation and clip exchange on internal cost as well
>Ended up financing, and getting back-SNAP insurance (no extended warranty though)
>Take it to the gym and feel very proud of my new purchase
>I get a raise next month, so I may trade in for something nicer since I can finance more
Any aftermarket Bar accessory recommendations in the meantime?
I was thinking that I could get some cool decals

Whew lad my sides. What a time to be alive

10/10

Thanks, m8s

I choked on my cigarette

>failed penis inspection at the front counter
>banned from the gym for a week

> tfw Stacy passed penis inspection but I didn't

...

We tv now

Hnng

>doing SS
>up to 100kg/ 2 plate squat
>forgot to apply for a 2 plate license and the gym won't let me squat anything over 99kg
>next application time isn't till October

Does anyone know the application process for a 4 pl8 deadlift license? Is there a fee associated with it? My temp is about to expire

There were other funny ones, but these were under-appreciated


You need the local constable to sign off, and they're going to ask for photo ID. Paperwork should take about a week.

If you have Concealed Juicer license, then they'll skip the paperwork paperwork since you already did it for your CJ license.

Just make sure the bar you have registered doesn't have anything suspicious on the BarFax and that the serial number on your bar/pl8s match.

Paperwork on the plates will take a week if you're financing them because the municipal Gains departments are notoriously under-staffed

>drop my squat plug as I go to leave
>legs are so exhausted I can't get low enough to pick it up
>have to get one of the PTs to help me
>spaghetti'd out and forgot to tip the qt3.14 receptionist
Can I ever go back?

>-powered triple-piston asshammer

sons a bitches

Go back!?? You're lucky they didn't arrest you, you sick fuck.

>go into to university's gym
>it's oly lift day, should be able to get one of the two platforms
>both are occupied
>one guy is doing throw curls with the olympic bar. He's standing on a stack of all the bumper plates.
>some sorority girl is doing planks on the other
>where's the other olympic bar?
>notice a guy doing barbell flies. He's got the oly bar in one arm, hex bar in the other
>go home and masturbate while thinking about fantasy threesome with Ilya and that real life animu volleyball player

>not a member of a 24/7 gym
>not going in at 4am to be completely alone
it's like you guys fear gains

get out.

>make a reservation for 8 pm squatrack for two
>we come in at 8 pm
>gym waiter shows us to our table
>"so, what can we get ya started on?"
>"for an appatizer we would like some front squats looking for maybe 10-12 reps to start off nicely. After 15 minutes We would like some straight leg deadlifts, mix in some high bar squats, oh and a inch winch bit of powercleans to top it off"
>"excellent choice, sir. Would you like anything for desert? I recommend our prime pistol squats. We got a brand new batch just today"
>"sound great. After the first one you wait exactly 7 and a half minutes before handing over the next set, until one of us passes the fuck out"
>"Splendid sir, we'll be right on it"
Today was a good day.

>tfw assclowns playing pokemon go keep running into you as you try to deadlift because of some rare shit by your balls

>show up without reservation
>get a spot next to a loud group of people

>tfw gym removes chalk from smith machine area

>qt talks to me between sets
>bring a condor next time I go
>it starts circling the squat rack
>the gym's security eagle starts attacking it

>tfw debit machine on the squat rack was down
>didnt have cash to pay the attendent

Wolf

A+ for effort my dude

This is too real for this thread

dumb frogposters

Sadly true

does la fitness have a lot of squat racti?

Ok lost to this

protip: for a harder workout, instead of saying "one-one-thousand, two-one-thousand, three-one-thousand...", say "one-terms-and-agreements, two-terms-and-agreements, three-terms-and-agreements..."