How devilish are you?

How devilish are you?

>bought vegetarian pizza because it was on sale
>put bacon and salami on it

wew

>girl tells me she's vegan
>say me too
>give her the meat later on that night

B E E L Z E B U B I A N S T R A T A G E M S

At work co worker asks how are you
>Not too bad
Doctor asks if I ever think about self harm
>No
Captcha says select all Street SIG's and it's a sign in all boxes
>I skip one and still get it

>professor says I ought to buy online code.
>"It won't be graded but it will help"
98% in Calculus 1

>dad asks if im ok
>say yes
>mfw im not ok
>mfw my thumb hurts
LOCK ME UP

>tell gym receptionist I forgot my tip money and I'll bring it next time
>I had it all along

MEPHISTOPHELIAN MANIPULATIONS

>steal stuff out of the lost and found box at the gym
>use clean towel then fold it up so the next person thinks its clean

>supposed to be cutting
>bulk

>cutting
>one day of pizza and ice cream won't hurt >2 days of pizza and ice cream won't hurt
>why am I cutting I'm a think
>real men are 240lbs

holy shit newfags itt can't make devilish greenposts for shit

>friend asks me to pick up toilet paper for him while i'm shopping
>only buy the one ply

LOCK ME UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEY

>purposely halfheartedly document my devilish ways

wew lad

m8

Fatty doesn't like content of their body.
1. Put in work, make it better
2. Bitch about it and become haes advocate
Retard doesn't like content of thread
1. Put in the work and make a post and get dubs
2. Bitch about it like a haes

>criticize the other posts in the thread as bad
>they're actually all me

>am 5'8
>tell people I'm 6'2
D E M O N I C G AM E S

>I didn't log that mint I ate after lunch.

I'm the only hell my mama ever raised.

not fitness but..

>gf only wants to move if I don't get into the local medical school
>get into local medical school and my no1 pick
>intercept acceptance letter from local school
>shoop it into a rejection letter
>show her I only got into my no1 pick school
>we move in 1 year

Value fitness. In best shape of my life.

My dream girl is a Japanese landwhale named Sara Aikawa.

>i skip one and still get it
Topkek. Always happens to me with "select all images with a storefront"

>cbt
>make fun of 6'0+ people call them manlets
>I'm 5'6

>jelly that lifting bro is progressing faster than me
>been sabotaging his gains by counting his sets aloud when I spot them
>sneakily omit a number or two to keep his sets within 6-7, when he thinks he's lifting 8
>he still hasn't noticed I've been nullifying his entire workout for the past 2 months

>Leg day on my schedule
>Do chest again instead

Y O U C A N T S T O P M E

thats not devilish, its just retarded

I'm not good at this, I left the milk out a little too long the other day and just put it back in the fridge.

I don't recycle all the time.

>Am 6'2
>Tell people I'm 5'8

Watch all the manlets freak out lmao

>Say i'm not voting for anyone cause all candidates are a joke, he-heh....
>actually voting trump

Why are you doing this

I wonder how common this is, I know I'll be seriously tempted just as a "fuck you" to everyone

>party in town
>key participants cars

eyy

>girl asks to come over
>say no, I'm too tired
>stay up playing video games for 5 hours

>make people believe someone liked their devilish story
>actually just spam replying
You're all just roaches, dancing for me

pretty common, actually. the words silent majority mean something.

Yea but who's got the (you) you shitposting mass poster?
>Reply to shitpost but don't even (you)
Devlish

Why do you care about what you eat anyways?

>always type no homo on fit
>Actually have a dick in my mouth 80% of the time

Doctors asks how much caffeine I take daily
Told her 100 mg
She tells me not to exceed 200mg

>I REALLY TAKE 800 MG

D
E
V
I
L
I
S
H

RIP your heart

I OHP in the squat rack

>ATE 10 CALORIES MORE THAN I WAS SUPPOSED TO YESTERDAY

I CANT BE STOPPED

>I didnt reserve ahead for the squat rack, I skipped the line.

teehee

>ask grill coworker to fix shirt collar
>her fingers brush the back of my neck
>messed up the collar on purpose

>pt tells me to have a good workout
>i don't