>be 25 y/o Virgin
>7/10, just beta as fuck
>suffering four slipped disks and awaiting urgent operation
>tfw can't lift
>had an operation on hiatus hernia last year
>tfw can't each much due to small stomach
>no idea what to fucking do or where to start
Basically I'm looking to shape up after my operation, but I'll be limited on the lifting. I've read the rules but my back and hernia kind of have me at a loss.
The fuck do I do?
>two of the disks slipped are in my lower back
>severe pain in my left leg just from walking
>forced to walk with a stick
>tfw friends call me "cripstick"
>the other two are slipped in my neck
>severely affect movement of my left arm
>tfw no one will hire me despite excellent CV
>can't go out much
>tfw friends start calling me "Lester the molester"
first thing you gotta do is break your hands, then get one of them fine-ass nurses to help drain your swollen, aching balls
>my own family look down on me
>so do my friends and theirs
>tfw I want to get better at life
>tfw i want to change
Help me, Veeky Forums
>be me
>just had second operation on my back
>third day in hospital
>started waking up after a nice sleep
>forgot where I was
>let out a massive wet fart
>remembered where I was
>open eyes to see two nurses staring at me
>can see the contempt and disgust in their eyes
>"s-sorry"
>never forget
>tfw even Veeky Forums can't help me
should have farted again to establish dominance
nurses wipe shit off old peoples' asses, it takes a real nigga to blast like that with no fucks given
What kind of farts are we talking here?
Small rattata repeat farts?
Big Bang grenade farts?
Long dragon breath farts?
are you my dad??
my dad (70) just had screws and plates put in his back for slipped disks
hr can never bend over, twist, or lift anything remotely heavy anymore. he also had pain in both his legs and walks with a cane
did you have surgery to fix the slipped disks? how long have you had the pain in your leg, was it a direct result of the slip disk and has it gotten better?
man I feel for you... that is fucking brutal
>pushed through fatigue in a sets of tricep dips
>now upper left chest is in pain just near the location were it pec connects to the shoulder
pls send help
When I was 16 I got two severe slipped disks out of nowhere. Kept complaining to my mum months prior and she insisted it was growing pain.
Until I start walking at a 90 degree angle because I couldn't stand up straight.
Had two ops to fix it, 9 years later it's back with a vengeance. My leg was fine at first but slowly got worse, can't even sit or lie comfortably now because there is no comfortable position with it.
Shit sucks
don't do anything that will further hurt your spine/disks it's not worth it no matter how tough you want to be, it will fuck your entire life up
just be smart about your recovery
Yeah that's my plan for now, just tired of feeling useless basically.
I still live with my mum at 25.
oh fuck dude... my dad had i think 4 operations, maybe 5, all the other operations didnt fix the problem, his only option was getting the screws and plates put in and now his life is basically over, it's a huge trade off, I hope your situation turns out better
my parents are asking if they can move in with me because my dad needs constant help
I'm 33 I can't go back to living with my parents it's awful, I'll help them pay to live in a separate house/condo nearby but no way am I living with my parents again... god this sucks ass
Thanks bruh, I appreciate it.
Makes me feel like an old man, I remember when the consultant first saw the scan for my back, he disappeared only to come back with two other colleagues to show them.
Basically had the back of a 30 year old at 16.
>Make them do all the chores
>tell them to be in bed by 10.
>your house your rules
Go on disability, become NEET, gain wizard mode, leave humanity behind
Okay OP here's what you do.
After operation
>Doctor, I'd really like to get into shape. How long do you think I'll be until I'm fit to safely do weighted exercises like squats, deadlifts, benchpresses, and the like?
Once you pass physical muster to lift, start your program.
If the doctor feels the recovery time will be at least a year or that your body is such shit, you'll likely slip another disk or get another hernia if you try, ask him about machines.
Chances are you'll at least be alright to work out on machines. If you get the greenlight for those, find a good machine program and get lifting.
As for your stomach, is it physically abnormally small or do you just not have a big appetite? If you're just a bitch, just start eating bigger meals until you're accustomed to them and go from there. I'm going to guess your bulking calorie quota is going to be around 3000 a day. This goal isn't difficult to achieve with healthy foods, even without a big appetite. Go for calorie-dense foods like milk and avocados. Not super hard.
3 large eggs, 1 avocado, a cup of oatmeal, 2 16oz glasses of milk. Not a huge meal, but a balanced one that clocks in over 1000 calories. Just eat two more meals like it throughout the day and you're golden. Hell, you can have one meal under 1000 calories if you have some peanuts or a protein bar to snack on throughout the day.
You can make it, breh.
Put them on Good Parent Points.
>user you're like prime bf material how come you don't have a gf? You can't be single forever
I don't enjoy being alone but it scares me a lot less than being with someone. Also you are probably wrong about me on both those counts Maddy.
I would talk to your physio about lifting, I wouldn't trust people here on Veeky Forums to deal with something that could potentially hurt you more.
My opinion is useless but I would suggest starting stretching (in the sticky) and bodyweight, it will take longer but these give you a really nice physique after a couple years and improve on your mobility, and you would think bodyweight would be safer for your back.
I'm assuming some exersizes would aggravate it so I would definitely research each one and talk to a doctor.
Good luck bruh, and tell your friends you don't want to be called cripstick, don't say it lightheartedly either make sure they know it hurts, they'll stop.
This is a really good reply
Jump off a bridge bro.
What shall my wizard name be?
Awesome advice, I'll do this. Thanks man.
Also my stomach was folded in half to cover the hole, need to be careful about what I eat as to not undo it. Looks like gaining isn't for me but staying fit is. I'll do as you said and ask consultant, thanks.
I'm already dead inside bruh, but thanks.
An hero?
Thanks guys, /thread for me.