I fully understand you
I'm a 5'6 manlet, been lifting for two years, 15% bodyfat
my genetics suck a lot, i get a lot of mass easily but it's all in the wrong places, my chest genetics are really bad and i have big nipples and gyno that basically makes me look like a fucking midget with a big back, also i have a really big head compared to my body so even if i'm big i just look silly with big hips, total dwarven miner mode
so okay, i fully understand it, i'm not meant to be aesthetic, but what i can do? in this world it's easy to get a comfortable life, basically everyone can get money, or a car, unless you live in india or thailand, so no one is a winner. Having money or a good life isn't really impressive nowadays. There are no goals for being good at life, basically you can't get above average at anything at all.
I get good grades at university in stem, but i have already tasted the bitter pill of what working a job really is, you aren't meant to get good at it, it's basically high school 2.0, having knowledge doesn't mean shit and that's why there are so many "emotional skills" courses, they teach you to manipulate, lie and get higher in the ladder of your job by being a salesman rather by knowing the truth or what works for the job. It's just a loop where everyone tries to survive by shitting on the next nest, that's why everyone who knows a lot about the real stuff in a job ends being his own boss.
Being social is also pointless, if you really don't enjoy it then it wears down quickly, also unless you have a group of friends who do the same as you, you will find yourself having to do so much bullshit you don't really like
so basically i lift but i fully understand that it's pointless, at this point i think i will kill myself if at 30 my life isn't going the way i like, or probably will blast all my money at that point to travel to fucking china and live the rest of my days in some shitty mountain