So before we start let's introduce ourselves by saying an interesting fact about yourself

>Professor in class with 110 women and 5 men starts with a variant of this
>'What's your name and is there a backstory to it?'
>I'm the last one to go
>"My name is Evan and my dad went with that name to give me a lot of options for my rap career"
>'so did it work, are you a rapper'
>"yeah absolutely *while laughing*"
>'let's see it then'
>...
>...
>...
>"I'm not a rapper"
>'oh'
>moves on

Actual true story

missed the chance to spit hot fire

>Hi I'm Mike, I can bench 225. Ladies please contain your orgasms till after class.
>Flexes and winks to class
>Teachers dink shrinks to 2inches
>He is now my cuck

>Hi I'm user, one interesting fact you say... well I can do a handstand

cringy tbqh

>nah

Who's suppose to have the autism in this story, you or your professor?

I-I don't lift to get girls...

I do it to get my bussy pounded.

You were supposed to freestyle.

> the level of social ineptness needed to wear this shirt

I remembered back to the fedora,sandal, cargo shorts wearing ass faggot in my freshman orientation group and pictured him saying this

please die

>Slam my hands on the desk as I get up
>Look at everyone intensely until the silence becomes awkward
>"Let me tell you about the jews and their lies."

why exactly do you picture that guy when you read my post ?

cuz you are a fedora, sandal, cargo shorts wearing ass faggot

>what makes me different is that my dick and balls are lighter in tone than the rest of my body

I bet you vote Trump

>No....
What's this thread about exactly?Situations that are supposed to make me sweat just by reading them because OP is projecting his austim?

Hi, im user and i spend 100% of my free time on anonymous imageboards and video games.

I once layed down with a girls butt on my crotch, im a kissless virgin but i lost my handhold to this girl and it was awkward and cringe as fuck, word for word "my hand is pretty cold actually can you hold it maybe"

Fuck /x/, going to college soon, and although i probably have interesting facts, i always forget and blank out for it.
What are some go to lines?

I bet you get cucked by your wifes son

2nd this

kek

That was nice of you seeing as he just insulted you. Not many people would take the highroad, but in your case, you did. Good on you!

I'm working on a pilot's license with 30+ flight hours logged.

At least it's something.

I'm 204 cm tall.

I get paid quite a bit to write low quality erotic stories for people to jerk off to.

ya I was expecting an insult but instead got a compliment

I have raped three women and never been charged.

You have to be pretty fucking retarded to vote Hilary Clinton the devil reincarnated.

t. Eurofag

>he doesn't deny it

>I'm 204 cm tall
>he thinks this makes him interesting

britfag here
americans have a moral duty to the rest of western civilisation to elect the one man who might decisively turn the tide against globalism

I'm a closet homosexual and it makes everything in life frustrating.

I successfully cloned a horse

I pick up things and put them down.

Scared to come out because of your family/friend situation or just scared?

I once said: I managed to stain my bathroom ceiling with vomit
got some keks

>tfw this is actually how "mature and intelligent" college kids would respond to fart jokes

I gazed into the abyss, and the abyss gazed back into me.

m-me too user, no homo

>implying college kids were/will ever be 'mature and intelligent'
stay delusional user

I used to be a homeless bum who slept outside in public parks until fairly recently.
I'm also fluent in Japanese and German.

>implying I have the social skills to get past the part where I say my name
Checkmate

>heh, you just introduced me buddy. heh, i'd like to sit out on this for now, maybe next time kid.

bitches love mysterious men

I'm afraid to disappoint people. I grew up being told that being gay was shameful and something to detest... I can't get rid of those feelings. I almost tried to come out to my dad at one point but I just got really depressed and mad at myself. Kind of sucks tbqh senpai

Have gyno, but only on my right side, shit is super embarrassing

I learnt to read and write complete sentences at the age of 3 and have time stamped proofs and shit

These days I'm a NEET alienated from society who spends all his time lifting, reading books or reading a bangladeshi fat shaming forum

>"mature and intelligent"
thinking college isn't just an extension of high school just with more sex, drugs, and hotter chicks

>Hi, I'm user. I have 2 published novels that take place in the Eastern Front of World War Two along with 22 paranormal and Sci-fi erotica novellas I sell to degenerates in 3 languages. I also hate people who don't recycle, don't use turn signals and the Swedes.

I understand. I hope you're living away from family most of the time - it's your best chance of living.

With luck you'll find someone or some people where you'll make that work.

i remember this all the time

>my name is user and i like to run, like 5ks
that's literally what i said

the truth is, i don't even do cardio, just thought it was the most normie thing i can say

the two most popular responses:
>i've travelled to X countries in my life or just came back from/planning on a vacation overseas
>there's nothing interesting about me (which I would have said if i knew i could)

>I take 4 scoops 2-3 times a day and don't identify myself as a human. Now excuse me I have an arm workout to continue

SURE THING YOU MANLET. IM user AND I SLEPT WITH YOUR WIFE

Fuck off, nu-Veeky Forums.

"I got away with it. One down. Two to go."

"I-i was a part of Gamergate"
Panty dropper

...

I wack it 8 times a day

"Pure top, 6'0 150lbs. muscular, 7", have a face pic, no fats no fems"

In my heart, I felt alone out here on my own
I close my eyes and picture home...

>"I like weed and bernie sanders"
>class erupts into applause
>420 blaze it jokes fly every direction
>everyone starts chanting "feel the bern"
>I'm now the class genius

I pretend that I lift heavy objects and put them back down on an anonymous anime imageboard so that I can waste my time shitposting.

I thought I already graduated?

> i have recorded 3 albums but im too fucking afraid to show them to anyone

>be instructor for an intro to QM course
>class is 80% to 90% sperglords
>make them introduce themselves and go through the same shit I did when I was their age
>they get so awkward with each other that no one shows up to the tutorial
>literally getting paid for twice the work I'm actually doing
Rofl this was a good summer.

Now you have to show us.

> pretend to be degenerate liberal
> fuck sloots

My names Rod and I like to party

Also Bush did 9/11

I'm a grower not a shower

I masturbate to traps daily but identity as a heterosexual

I often do poses in the mirror but stop when I see how weak I am

I listen to ABBA when I lift

My favorite show is Kenny Vs. Spenny

It doesn't get much trashier than that

I speak four languages, none of them fluently and practice the soprano saxophone for hours on end

I've never had a male teacher do this bullshit. It's always bitches.

>tfw no closeted bf to be in the closet with

I can ride a unicycle backwards

>played the guitar non stop for years
>still cant play any intermediate level song completely

Imma tell y'all something I ain't eva told no one in real life...

Ready?

I browse Veeky Forums

iktf

Was it expensive?

I used to have a roommate who very rarely browsed /r/greentext in reddit and thought that Veeky Forums was just a reddit skin or some shit. He used to have people over all the time and I'd browse blue boards and they'd think I'm a normie browsing reddit (my pc was facing the middle of the room).

cool story. would tell to grandchildren/10

you need to stop being a virgin to have grandchildren in the first place

I can whistle through my nose

i am a member of sakura gakuin

Fellow rider, when I'm not serving my country (armed forces) I race around on my Honda CBR 600.

I'm also writing a children's book, true story

I was the first level 60 on my server in vanilla wow

>I got 5 repeating digits at the end of my post on an indonesian basket weaving image board, and I managed to live without sexual intercourse for over 20 years

/i have absolutely no control or consistency with the gym

Usually try to hit the gym early in the morning on a daily, however, i usually don't even go

told myself i would, sometimes i just cant. My biggest distraction is leaving soon, so i will have more time being myself again. On a weekly basis get drunk, a little bit of cannabis at night, and wake up saturday/sunday morning at 9am. Day is over from there, can't go to the gym

my name is CHAD and i love eating PIZZA with my sloot girlfriend STACEY

manlet

>I get paid quite a bit to write low quality erotic stories for people to jerk off to.

Me too! So easy to write. Volume over quality.

how can i get to do this?i work dead shifts i na store i might as well do some extra money while waiting for fags to buy stuff at midnight