How the fuck do I start dirty bulk?

How the fuck do I start dirty bulk?
I'm 172 cm, 56 kg, It is now at least 3 month I am eating the most I can everyday without any restrictions on fats and sugars.
I can't get some fucking weight. I began a torso/shoulder/triceps/back and biceps bodyweight routine and I have to ride my bike everyday, It is possible that I still use too much calories even if I am eating like 2x more?
How the fuck do I get fat?
Pic related : my weakling body

>I'm 172 cm, 56 kg
So you need like 2100 calories to gain weight at that level, and you think it's difficult? Give me a break faggot, go buy some milk and peanut butter and shove it down your throat.

>my weakling body
>flexes as hard as he can because secretly he hopes that someone will tell him he doesn't actually look that bad
You look like you narrowly escaped Auschwitz. Just eat and go away manlet

If you really want to gain weight fast , buy the weight gain shake from GNC make sure you buy the GNC one with low sugar. Use milk and peanut butter if you really are desperate. Drink that shit , eat 6 meals a day. If you are having troubling getting money for 6 meals buy microwave food with rice and chicken in it . It's usually cheap , I use to get around 40 pieces for $50 which should last you for 3 weeks. You will get chubby , you'll start getting weight around your face and you will develop a double chin if keep your head face downwards but you will make solid gains with solid training. remember you will start looking chubby but don't worry , you can start cutting once your satisfied. You are also 5'6 which means you are in luck. You'll start looking decent when you hit 150 after cut. I went from 132 lb to 170 lb in 6 months using this method.

m8 I look bad and I know it, that's why I'm desesperate and here

Yeah I drink whole milk everyday, I will buy mass peanut butter

how long have you been trying to gain weight?

If you can't gain weight with what you currently eat, eat more. You can make it easier by eating calorie rich foods (e.g fast food, whole milk, nuts)

its not hard, don't make it a sticking point

Sounds good, thx man. I will look forward that GNC shake and microwave food.

hey man if you can , i'd avoid the microwave food but it's cheap so. Are you european by chance since you're using metric system

Isn't fast food shit in any case? Can I really morph bigmac into muscles? Isn't it going to fuck my liver up instead of getting mass?

Yeah I live in Switzerland, and everything costs like fucking too much, but microwave food is OK, maybe even cheaper than making meal myself

how about you use this privaledge to enjoy your food without need to cut and count calories, while lifting steadily and enjoyin life? instead of gettin fat now and needin to cut later while tryin to figure which macro split u shud use and feel hungry all time?

and make no gains?
avoid fast food

Let me give you my special bulking routine.

Note: This has taken me over 20 years of research, application, and fine tuning.

But because I like you OP, I'll share my secrets.

1) Drive, take the bus instead of biking

2) Eat a shit ton of fried foods

3) Starting watching anime

4) Cut off all social contact

5) Masturbate without exerting any energy by just lying in bed

6) Even showers take too many calories

7) If you need anything ask someone to get it for you

If you follow my program (do NOT modify any of the steps. I'm the expert, not you), step-by-step, you'll gain a lot of weight.

You're welcome

>start watching animes
I knew it helps

Are you telling me to momentary embrase the obese life?

op get mutant mass. 4 scoops = about 1000 calories with 52g of protein following what he said . that would put you about halfway to your calorie goal right

if you want to be a big boy and take 4 scoops 2 times a day your pretty much guaranteed to gain weight

Your liver? What? No.

Fast foods often have bad ratios of macronutrients. Too much saturated fats, too little protein for example. They don't however contain any nutrients that can't be found in any other food, they just have a sub-optimal mix of them.

You want to add mass so you just need to eat more. Min-maxing macronutrient ratios doesn't matter until you get enough food.

Before you go to bed, open a jar of peanut butter, pull out as much as you can on the spoon and eat it. If after a week you haven't put on weight do this twice before bed, etc.

Seems like my best option is peanut butter
I never ate that shit but it looks like the basic of bulking, thanks again

fuck you im having to slam down near 4k a day to gain weight

My starting point was 55 kg, currently at 67.8 kg.

Peanut butter is the pillar of creation.

You convinced me
I'll start that peanut butter diet today
What other food has high calories/protein ratio?

When i started at that weight, eating was hard as shit. Make a shake if you want something quick.

Some of the things i ate starting out.

100g oats, 3 eggs and 500g of milk. (pancakes)
200g red meat and 150-200g of rice/pasta
100g peanut butter. 150g low fat cheese
Fiber bread and all that.

Why the fuck has this not been posted yet?

Here, the answer to all your problems.
You obviously dont have to gulp down the entire of it or even make all of it (try like half the ingredients the first month). And don't do it every single day, maybe once every two days.

GOMAD might actually be for you friend

Oats are good too so

Nice, I can easely do that