Hey/fit/ Today is the day I finally became a fucking alph. Check this out. So I'm in my kitchen this morning about to chow down on my usual breakfast: porridge made with a pint of whole milk, a scoop of whey and a bit of cocoa to taste. Then my housemate walks in with her stupid friend who's been staying. This little asian girl is like 50kg dripping wet and looks like zumba is her idea of a fitness test. So she looks at my porridge and says "ooh that's not going to fuel your body! You need linseeds and this and that and blah blah blah fuking bullshit meme foods didnt you know?"
I just fucking lost it. I looked her dead in the eye and said: "Well, when you're 83kg and do 10 hours of HIIT per week you can give me lessons on how to fuel a human body."
She just looked at me like I'd slapped her in the face. She had no idea what to say.
It felt so fucking alph putting that idiot in her place. I hope she learned her lesson and doesnt spout her activated almonds tier wankery to any serious athlete again.
Anyone else got any stories where they just fucking bossed it and showed everyone why they're a shredded alph?
Zachary Myers
Good story user, you made it.
Oliver Sullivan
Thanks bro. Hope you're doing well too.
William Bailey
Nice OP.... real nice. I guess it was nuthin personal but she just had what was coming to her eh? heh heh heh *tips protein shake*
Jacob Gutierrez
This hambeast earlier was trying to tell me she had to eat sub 1000 calories and work out 4-5 times a week just to lose weight. She also went on about how not even weight loss drugs help, fully told her that it was a poor excuse for a poor diet and lack of knowledge about general health
Dominic Bell
you're overreacting user
Hunter Carter
Ugh sickening. I bet she chows on doughnuts daily and thinks a brisk walk is a workout.
I dont think so matey. I've worked too hard for too long to be given phoney nutrition lessons by some stupid teenage girl.
Jose Torres
Yea boooy, bet that bitch was fucking after being put in her place by a real man.
Brody Ramirez
>severe depression >hate myself and want to die >cry uncontrollably during workouts sometimes >space out for minutes at a time often
alpha as fuck
Carter Cook
You showed a lot of self control there user. I would have bashed her skull in and told her to kill herself
Ayden Hall
Honestly mate if I had been a spectator and you had thrown "KYS" at her I would have backed you up. Some people just need to learn when to shut the fuck up. People say mansplaining is a thing, well what about unfitsplaining? People just dont understand our level.
Blake Morris
push yourself harder, you should be too tired to be depressed
fucking sweat m8
Robert Torres
You'll get there mate. Just work hard and get those lifts up. Strength in the body builds strength in the mind.
Parker Price
You sure are proud to be a twink.
Brandon Long
Alright big boy. What do you weigh then? I'm 6'1 and my cardio is fucking unreal. We don't all want to be powerlifters with 30% body fat.
Michael Clark
>83kg >6'1
lmao
I'm 6'2, 210 and 14% bf my twig friend.
Bentley Nguyen
This shows you are insecure; the opposite of alpha.
Liam Hall
>6'2 >210lbs lmao I'm 6'0 and 224lbs, you lanklet twink
Alexander Young
>14% bodyfat lmao, not OP but my natty bulkan bodyweight is in the 230s while at 14-15% whereas in ripped state i'm sub 200, you would probably come out even lighter than OP at sub 10
Ian Hall
I'm trans twink, slowly making my way to 235 :)
Why the fuck would I want to be sub 10% when I have as much lean mass as he has bodyweight?
Connor Brooks
>not realising the qt asian grill was hitting on you trying to relate to you with fitness shit >being insecure and taking it as an attack on your knowledge of fitness
Pick both you snivelling beta
Jack Scott
heh 14% bf I'm 8% fatboi When you can run a mile and a half in 7:30 try me again.
Christopher Howard
Dont make me fucking laugh son. I wouldnt waste my time with that tiny wad of cookie dough anyway. She couldnt satisfy me.
Nathaniel King
tfw tired and depressed
Noah Perry
Dont you son me you faggot. If you weren't so insecure and didn't hyperfocus on the negative this would be a mirin thread not an "oozing insecurity disguised as being alpha" thread
Charles Smith
>make a thread about being alpha >was really just an asshole
lol
Josiah Johnson
Oh sorry to offend your closet feminist sensibilities boys. I suppose you would have just apologised for eating porridge, thrown it in the bin and then fallen to your knees to apologise to her for not understanding nutrition as well as her.
You limp wristed betas make me sick.
Owen Russell
There's a difference between correcting somebody and being condescending to somebody. Granted she was to you, but two wrongs don't make a right.
That said if you make a thread on Veeky Forums about being "alpha" you probably aren't.
Grayson Anderson
You taking criticism to heart and getting offended. Fucken 10/10 alpha, real manly bro, keep it up, nice job.
Literally lamoing at your life. Get a grip mate your insecurity is flowing out
Austin Kelly
Being lectured by my ex's mom and dad on how "Squats are bad for your knees?" "Training back heavy isn't healthy" "Creatine can't be good for your liver" "That protein powder isn't healthy, why dont you just eat NORMAL?" Once when I explained how creatine works "ATP...muscle size....strength...researched...cheap" and her dad said "Why don't you just work hard like the rest of the people trying to get fit?"
I also want to point out her entire family is overwheight.
"Hey, I remember you both saying you hated chemistry and biology in school, not to be rude but have you ever touched a dumbell or a barbell in your life? I mean I have a degree in natural sciences, read books and studies daily on nutrition and training, it's my passion, I THINK I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING."
Their looks...looked at me like I'm scum or something, I loved it though.
Ethan Flores
yes because you need a REAL man to dick you in the asshole till you bleed :^)
>this is autism
Anthony Lewis
That's pretty sperg, but anyway. Got one from a few weeks ago.
>second date with 8/10 qt3.14 that lives in my block, amazing eyes, killer ass and legs, Veeky Forums cardiobunny >go out for some drinks on the other side of the city >hours pass by >have dinner and a few more drinks >I have two beers and two whiskeys on my body, so I'm in the "no fear" zone >we leave the pub, it's getting a little cold already >we decide to go home walking (2,5 Km approx, small city) >we laugh, we talk about a lot of things, after a while she enters into the feelings territory fueled by alcohol >"you know user? when I am with you I feel... nah nevermind" >just say it >"well... safe" >testincreases.jpg >she hugs me and we keep walking >we arrive to a low income neighborhood since is the shortest way home >a junkie jumps out of the end of the street >skinny as fuck, incredibly veiny arms and yellowish dead eyes >he walks directly toward us in a menacing manner >"a-user...", she whispers >testincreases_level2.jpg >don't worry, keep calm, let me talk >"give me everything you got, I don't want to start a fight but I will, understand?" >...no. Fuck you. >he says the equivalent in my language for "U WT M8, I'LL CUT YOU" while he reaches for a switchblade >the junkie gets VERY nervious and starts playing with it like a ninja >for some reason I don't feel the obvious danger >I find myself in my drunk thoughts thinking about how skinny that guy is (DYEL crossed my mind), in how many ways I could kill him and... that I liked his switchblade with wooden hilt >I said NO. We are not giving you shit... in fact, you are giving me that knife >WHATYOUSAYINGM8? >qt starts strangling my arm >I said that I wan't that blade. Problem? >B-BUT M8...b-but why? >after a few of these back and forth the junkie gets frightened and gives the knife >I take the switchblade and scort the qt home >when she calms down we have primal sex >we have been dating for a few weeks >I still have the switchblade in my room
Michael Flores
really? it would have been alpha if you would have fucked her afterwards but telling a woman she is wrong about something is not really alpha m8 its pretty ordinary. only guys who dont do this are total betas so grats you have moment where you didnt behave like a total beta
Aaron James
>tfw so bad an autist strangers think I'm alpha
>be at da club >go for a piss >some sloot pulls me in to dance >lean in and scream in her ear that I can't waste time on her because I'm about to unleash the hose
>same night >trying to get my brother home but he fell asleep >wide eyed and teary eyed from lack of sleep so it looks like I've been doing hard drugs or something >some polish fags starting shit, hitting him in his sleep >pick him up and tell his gf to bring the food >they stole my coke >grab a random can of something off the table and tell polish guy to fuck off
When when I got home I went to bed, woke up and starting playing WoW.
Ian Allen
That's pretty badass if it really did happen.
Eli Morgan
>walk through base playing pokemon go >guy I dont know comes up to me (same rank as mine) and lectures me that an officer like me shouldn't walk around with his cell phone in his hand bla bla >wouldnt think much of this but he said it in such an arrogant way that I cut him off mid sentence and say >"never talk to me again" while giving him a death stare >keep walking
ofc this didnt happen, I just laughed and kept walking.
Christian Gonzalez
What did her friend say?
Connor Diaz
that's pretty alpha indeed. how exactly did the convo go between you and the junkie?
Jason Russell
>I still have the switchblade in my stomach
Jayden Sullivan
go travelling u retard. there is a whole world to explore. I advice se-asia since irs beautiful and cheap. start in bkk. make a thread on /trv/ beforehand, its the best Veeky Forums board. inb4 sex tourism
Jason Hughes
>intimidating a little asian girl
fucking alpha
Ethan Sullivan
holy shit, an actual alpha story, good going alphanon
Cameron Thompson
They know kung fu and shit nigga
Charles Gray
If that actually happened im proud of you user
Kevin Perez
Did you smash? I would have smashed you, OP. You know, if i was a girl. No homo.
Jose King
You're right. Her cock isn't big enough.
Aiden Lopez
How not to get fucked up on the road.
>idle Sunday about 2 weeks ago >just left my house, 4 other hommies in tow >sitting in the back, right behind driver bro >on a two lane road, speed limit is 50km >doing like 53-55, just enough to not get ass blasted by the 5o >all of the sudden a car cuts us off, the guy was behind us and recklessly overtakes us >asshole then proceeds to brake infront of us nowhere near a stop or a light >the guy just stops on the road for like 10 seconds, he's just being a piece of shit >everyone in our car is getting mad, we all were tipsy to a degree too >douche driver starts moving again, makes a left turn >we were incidently going that same way >douch drover stopped his car at back lane entrance >im livid, get out of my car when we get near and i just fly out of there >im 220lbs 6'3 and was filled with 100% intent to fuck someone up >walk over to this fuckers car, being mindful to approach from the side so he couldn't run me over >say one thing & one thing only "you wanted this, here I am, get out now" >motherfucker looks me over, and i shit you not stutters "raa-rag head" then fucking bolts >everyone in my whip just loses their shot laughing at this fake ass Vin Diesel
tldr: punk ass bitch thought he was the king of the road, has his ego smashed when he meets a fitizen
>when /pol actually meets /fit
Justin Anderson
You're autistic.
Carter Edwards
B-but sex tourism is literally the only reason I'd go to bankok.
Well, maybe drink some beers and watch some bare knuckle unsanctioned muay thai fights, but mostly the whores.
Isaiah Foster
On one hand, badass if it actually happened. On the other hand, a junkie's switchblade is a stupid as fuck thing to be willing to die for.
Ian Nelson
I feel you my transition was 7 months of SS and GOMAD to got from 6'5" 198 to 272. I'm cutting back down to 225 to get my bf% around 12 because it got up to 32. Still haven't felt 'thick'. I guess I'm just a tall foreverlank.
Andrew Hall
nice one
Jason Sullivan
Agreed
Christopher Morales
Some girl said she wouldn't go out with me because of how good I look and she would feel self concious of herself and would have to lift aswell... She was hot af, I missed the opportunity and not sure if it was a compliment or what
Sebastian Carter
>>when /pol actually meets /fit
>implying I don't browse both boards
>"raa-rag head" Are you sikh?
Ian Davis
Wow going off on a small asian girl instead of just not giving a fuck, thanking her for the advice and continuing to eat your oats, then going on the internet to brag about it is possibly the manliest thing to ever happen, I'm proud
Sebastian Wright
>/pol/ >aka /all talk/
also
p-poo i-in l-loo
Joshua Thomas
I don't actually have anything on my head. Ain't got time for that sheeeat. But yeah, most brown people just get lumped together. I get called all sorts of shit by insecure manlets anything derogatory targetting people from Turkey all the way to Bangladesh.
Who gives a shit what guys say though, as long as dem bitches miring.
Isaac Murphy
Now you have to hate fuck her to trully put her in place
Nathan Watson
>A..user...
had me laughing my ass off
Thomas Smith
>thinks that doing 10 hours of HIIT means he knows jack shit about nutrition
Nathan Martin
For fuck's sake user, throw that shit away. If it has blood you could get linked to a fucking murder. Or if you cut yourself you could get aids.
Colton Stewart
My fucking sides!
Samuel Mitchell
>this is considered alpha by Veeky Forums standards I guess I'm alpha?
Angel Ortiz
>2016 >my almonds are still inactivated
Brody Cruz
You're a good looking guy. For a shitskin.
Oliver Powell
underrated
Angel Walker
Fair enough, most of /pol/ is bantz anyway.
>Who gives a shit what guys say though, as long as dem bitches miring.
You will make it Kumar.
Sexy picture too (n-no homo of course).
Nathan Morales
heehee i bet youre good at squats
Tyler Reyes
>74 lbs bulk in 7 months
Jayden Cook
>not whiteknighting for the azn qt
Gabriel Powell
Go nuclear
Anthony Brown
...
Hunter Diaz
Dude, Why are you overreacting? That's not being alpha, that's being a dork who doesn't know how to be cool with another People point of view.