CUUUUURRLLLSS!!

>I Don't expect many of you to appreciate the subtle art of supplement mixing, but to a select few I can teach you how to bottle gains, brew swole and even put a stopper in DOMS

oh am laffin'

My patronus is Rich Piana

Got me

nice

10/10 thank u lads

...

Rich Piana eats dementors for their gains

Happiness can be found even in the deepest of squats, if one only remembers to drive with the hips.

>Rich Piana

injects all the shit for his gains, you cunt

Haha, thanks for this OP

...

kek

:) that was great!

Teach me!

kek

>You're a manlet, Harry.

INJECT TRENBOLONUM!

>HOW MANY SCOOPS
>9 3/4

>8 movie arm workouts

beautiful

HAHHHARYYY DID YOU PIN THE TREN IN YOUR ASS CHEEK????

Under-fucking-rated

SQUAAAAATS

Oh you may not think I'm big,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A swoler hat than me.

You can keep your bowlers black,
Your top hats sleek and tall,
For I'm the Hogwarts lifting Hat
And I can cap them all.

There's nothing hidden in your gains
The Sorting Hat can't see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.

You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the swole at heart,
Their daring routines, and lifting
Set Gryffindors apart;

You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are set to go,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of cardio;

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
if you've a steady form,
Where those of calorie counting,
Will always find their dorm;

Or perhaps in Slytherin
You'll make your real friends,
Those cunning folks use any lifts
To achieve their ends.

So put me on! Don't be afraid!
And don't get in a flap!
You're in safe hands (though I have none)
For I'm a Lifting Cap!

what a waste

the tale of the three lifters
>once upon a time, three lifters encountered a seemingly immovable deadlifting bar
>however, being the three most swole lifters of their generation, they easily used the correct form to lift the bar and its plates
>this angered the Gains Goblin, who had placed the bar to take them to backsnap city
>cheated of his theft, he instead approached the lifters and congratulated them on their feat
>he offered them a reward for having cheated him so thoroughly
>the first lifter, an angry man, demanded gains like no other lifter had seen before
>taking a branch from a nearby ash tree, gains goblin fashioned a needle with roids
>the second lifter, an arrogant man, wanted to rub his victory in the gains goblin's face, and so demanded a routine to help newcomers with their lifting
>taking a stone from the river, the gains goblin inscribed the secrets of broscience onto it
>the third lifter was a cautious man, and asked for a way to avoid the gains goblin wherever he went
>reluctantly, the gains goblin gave the third lifter the secrets of cardio
>the lifters then parted ways
>the first lifter challenged a rival to a competition, with his roids, he could not fail to lose
>he then got drunk and bragged about his almighty gains, and how his roids could never fail to win him a match
>in the night, a dyel took the roids, ruining the lifter's cycle.
>and so the gains goblin took the first lifter
>the second lifter spread the secrets of broscience to his followers, then looked on as they failed to make it, one by one
>in despair, the second lifter never touched a bar again
>and so the gains goblin took the second lifter
>the third lifter used the secrets of cardio, and though the gains goblin searched for him, he was always one step ahead
>when the time came to pass that the third lifter was too aged to carry on, he passed the secrets of cardio to his son
>he then greeted the gains goblin as an old friend, and together, they walked into the land of Zyzz

underrated

Pretty good

I like it

a masterpiece

>not injecting dementors into your arms before your 8 hour patronus workout
>CMON

fucking top kek mate

>implying cardio isn't the epitome of gains goblining and instead it should have been perma bulking instead.

...

I think the story would be more accurate and fit better with the original conflict if was over under grip, lifting straps and based hook grip. Instead of endorsing faggy ass cardio

>spotted the first lifter

>second lifter

Kek

>n-n-n-n-no homo

SNAPE SPOTTED DUMBLEDORE

while you're PRACTICING defense against THE DARK ARTS, CEDRIC is eating PIZZA and fucking CHO CHANG

kek

Anyone see her bulge? I'm guessing Cho is pitching.

Sweet story senpai.

...

...

>Everybody's got their copy of Starting Strength?
>Good, because today we're doing squats

Kek

that is completely unnecessary though

>A fat fuck teaching importance of squats
checks out

Spotted the half rep bencher

the hands should get 90 degree anngle and that's it.
if you are below 170 cm, doing that and touching your chest is the same probably

180cm. Bar touches chest on every rep. Enjoy your subpar chest gains faggot

how much do you lift for reps?

>All barbells and free weights have been removed from the gymnasium.

>All lifters must have two spotters at all times, for all machines. No exceptions.

>The gym will be closing at 4:50pm and will reopen at 9:10am. Until further notice the gymnasium will be closed on weekends.

>No outside food, drink, or other supplements are permitted in the gymnasium. All bags are subject to inspection.

>To protect the privacy of lifters, no phones or other camera-capable devices will be allowed in the gymnasium.

>Earphones may only be worn in the lobby. No audible music is allowed anywhere in the gymnasium.

Hello cardio bunny. Allow me to show you the proper... technique.

Screen cap of a previous thread

>... but it's a treadmill. P-Please. No touch.

>And does Mr. Rippletoes have his gym membership card?

>it's a /tv/ thread

...

>Natty Spotter and the Goblin of Gains

FUCKING KEK

...

fucking kek

...

under fucking rated