Talking to gf

>Got any dumb gf/wife stories?
>tfw never had a gf

>take grill to putput golf course
>goodtime we chat and laugh shes giving me all the signs
>at the end of date I walk her out and about to get sep ways
>see coy pond
>I go in to give her a kiss and she runs away and jumps in the pond with her shoes off trying to stomp on the poor fish
>wakemeup.jpg

apparently she still had feelings for her ex and if she didn't jump in the pond she would've hooked up with me.

Why did we allow them to vote again?

my gf tells me I'm too good for her all the time. that I'm more beautiful than she is and that it motivates her to stay in shape. truthfully though I think she's way hotter than me and doesn't realize it. plus her ass is an absolute treasure.

feelsgood

nah nigga it aint like that - i love pussy but i'm tired of the modern female personality

and i've got gay friends who i hang out with and gay dudes are just as bad if not worse

honestly i'm just tired of people in general

this is starting to happen to me

if theres one thing i've learned about people in general is that they dont change. some MIGHT if they're about to die or something almost as critical

We gave them the right to vote because we realized they are easily manipulated and great for rigging elections in your favor.

I bet she looks back at that moment and cringes every time she lies to sleep.

nice. I once had a girl tell me in front of her boyfriend that she would fuck me in front of said boyfriend. i felt bad for the chump and said I'd rather fuck him instead.

He should have reacted. I'll never understand those guys who let their women cuck them like that.
And I thank god I don't understand them.

Are these fuckers even human?

Good on you,

Cucks just need to get self respect

the way I see it, the pussy they are getting is probably the best they've ever gotten or the only they've ever gotten. so they play super cautious for fear that any spat could mean the end. it's a shame cause when men are weak women recognize it instantly and can manipulate the shit out of them.

>be beta af
"you're not even a fucking man"

>try to stand up for yourself
"you're so horrible to me."

it's naivety in men who haven't realized how to handle a woman. and im generalizing like hell I know. not all women are that crazy. but they are all a liiiiittle bit crazy. my rule of thumb is to never yell. if I have to yell im losing no matter what. I make my gf cry by sweet talking her with terrible things. kinda fucked up but I think she likes how crazy I can make her

I once had a girl who waited until 4am after I finished work (Part time bar job - britfag at uni) to come back & fuck me to say it wasnt cheating on her bf because we didnt do anal and wore a condom.

????????????

lmao I had this girl basically say the same thing after sucking my dick. that it "wasn't cheating because it's only head." girls are so fucking delusional it's scary

OH god that reminded me of my ex
>Ex-Gf says she will do power yoga and cardio.

>I have absolutely no problem with this because that's actually good for her. Something is better than nothing

>Ask her what her diet is gonna be.

>Diet? Why'll I diet, I am already exercising right?

>Tell her that dieting doesn't mean not eating food and that it means to eat the right amount of food.

>Errrr....yeah not gonna happen, it's too much work.

>Inner Harambe starts battering at the self control cage. He knows where this is going and he knows he is gonna be let loose soon

>Tell her that it's not really that hard and all she needs to do is cut down on sugar and eat less carbs

>Yeah so you think I am fat? Is that what you are saying? Aren't you happy that I am at least trying to exercise.

>Tell her that she should be exercising for herself and not me.

>Wow really? Fuck off.

>Explain to her really calmly why sugars are bad and how a good diet will really benefit her.

>I dont want to talk right now

>FF a month or three. Wahaa Wahaa user I haven't lost any weight. Exercising is a hoax. Whaah waahaaa

>Her body actually looked a lot better and more toned but women are so fucking stupid that they think if they don't weigh as much as an auschwitz prisoner on a deserted island their workout regime is for nothing

>Tell her she looks beautiful and that it's actually working.

>OH God wow seriously. I'm not a kid, I haven't lost any weight. Don't so this ok

>Tell her that of weight loss is her goal then she needs to diet.

>So you mean I'm fat? At least say it to my face.

>Lol can't do this. Fuck this shit. Break up the next week.

>Start dating the hot pajeet chick in class who actually listens to reason and isn't a raging animal.

ew stinky curry pussy stinks

>you're too handsome
Dump that bitch breh, get someone who apprecates that gift from nature/genetics

My ex was the definition of mediocrity. Once I started to voice my concern for our health and that I wanted to start working out, she tried to tell me it didn't matter. I kept trying to have the conversation until she just broke up with me one day LOL.

Women will take away your gains.

That's them trying to justify cheating and trying to convince themselves that they aren't whores. That's not them trying to convince you that they didn't cheat, they don't give a fuck about what you think, it's a coping mechanism to tell themselves that they are good girls and it's only a one off thing. No guy will ever say Yeah so you sucked my dick and locked my asshole but that's totally not cheating cus I closed my eyes. Men know what they did and they own up to it or at least they don't try to delude themselves with mental gymnastics

>gf wants to get fit
>says she will start with running
>her goal is to run five miles a day
>tell her start with a half mile a day and work up
>first day she runs she runs 3 miles no stopping
>impressed but i tell her she is going to get shint splints
>adamant that she wont
>next day runs 3 miles again, this time only eating 400 calories a day
>does this for 10 days
>loses like 15 pounds
>day 10
>user the front of my legs hurt realllllly bad i can barely walk :(
>she takes a break and hasnt exercised since

I have a million other stories like this where she just denies reality because she wants it to be different? She also never screws lids back on, just sets them on top of the container loosely? She also for the longest time would fold wet towels and put them back in the closet because she had decorative towels and didn't like looking at other hanging towels. She swore up and down that towels can dry folded up in a closet. It took like 5 yelling matches to get her to hang towels up. Fucking hate that cunt sometimes.

Not really. That was one of my concerns initially but she doesn't smell any different down there compared to white girls.

Why do I always read these threads? I've never had a gf and don't know what it feels like

why the fuck did i laugh at this

kek

A girl told me she loved me once.

Lol nobody gonna read your personal diary blog what a fucking faggot
>complain about little stuff he and his gf do

Holy cringe. People on Facebook don't even do this

my gf said "haha you are a great guy, I'm glad I found you"
then I said "I'm so happy we are together, everything is great"

just kidding I am alone

Jesus man, I feel you, mine told me that I'm too rich.

We have the advantage over normies, we look better than them and actually have (not so common) common sense, with this we can achieve greatness.

We need to infiltrate all businesses ran by women and manipulate them to our will, make America Alpha again.

>asked gf if she wanted to meet after almost a week
>"sorry, I want to think about some things, and I need time, for example, this weekend"
f u c k

Are you me? I'm also a recovering fatty that has gone from walking 10 km a day to running 5 km every other/ every third day

I liked it

I liked it you faggot

Ex gf story number 2

>Wants to sell custom printed t-shirts at college and music festivals.

>Not sure about it but don't want to discourage her. Say that its not a bad idea but has she thought about the designs and where she'll get the capital from

>Oh yeah, I need you to design a few shirts. Like you are good and sketching right?

>I'm an engineer you hitch not a designer how the fuck will I design a shirt but whatever say yes because I don't want any drama.

>So what do you plan on, do you have anything particular in mind?

>Yeah user Game of thrones and whatever artists that will be playing at the fest.

>Ask her if she knows what a copyright is

>So? Who's gonna catch us at some fest. Stop being a wuss. (btw word of advice to young anons, women will use this question your masculinity bullshit to make you do things, do the fall for it)

>Are you serious? Let's at least design something original.

>No just listen to me and design a got and friends shirt and I'll send it to my cousin and he can get like 200 of them printed for us

>Tell her that it's not gonna be a huge success right off the bat and that she should start small because she probably won't sell as many

>Omg you never let me do anything. You think I am dumb, you are supposed to be the one person who supports me no matter what!

>Tell her that I'm just trying to be realistic

>You are so fucking pessimistic. Starts crying and goes off to her mom's house

>Go meet her a day later

>Starts bitching about how I don't care and that I should have ran behind her the day we fought to win her back

>Mom gives me a pitiful understanding look

I'm not the best story teller user. I just needed to vent a little

my friends older engaged sister gave me a blowjob a few weeks back and was tracing my abs with her fingers and giggling and saying shit like "you're so hot omg" made the whole thing way way way better

These queef pockets liked it

Perhaps you're in the wrong thread faggot

>there are 2 types of people on Veeky Forums

You are welcome to leave

Im kinda like that. I think we expect so much 8of ourselves that when it comes to people in general we cant settle for less, especially women - a gf is a big comitment.

I do t really care tho. Ill keep living my life and maybe Ill find someone worth it.

Get yourself a Veeky Forums gf?

Why wife is so fucking dumb she actually thinks you're controlling the satellite on Google Earth. She gives me cute babies and does as she's told though so I don't really mind.

>felt bad for the dude
>id rather fuck you hehe

Wat. I see where you are coming from, but was him as autistic as me?

how do you shack up with manipulators? it's like the biggest red flag when a girl says something to try and manipulate me. for example:

>be fucking around with girl I work with
>she's ok
>she starts some drama at work with another girl who apparently liked me
>texts me on my day off to come pick her up from work because she doesn't have a car and she can't work with this girl
>ask her what happened
>tell her I really can't pick her up and she probably should've been more adult about it
>she says "if you really care about me you'll come pick me up."
>respond with "well I guess I don't care about you"

women mature faster than men. but they don't mature far enough. we overtake them around 22

idk what the question is so ill just say "ok"

1 type is people who belong on Veeky Forums and the other one is redditor

I tried the same thing with my ex.

>and btw user, next time I run away crying, then run after me and give me a hug!

>we overtake them around 22

We overtake them around fucking 17 lad.

fuck you cunt, that's literally the point of this thread

Women do not actually know what they want, by and large, they need to be told.

A Veeky Forums gf mitigates this to an extent but she is woman too and she'll probably start some shit.

This may not apply to every woman but it applies to most women, they are told they are beautiful, strong, smart and capable throughout their lives. They don't really face any criticism, it's all you go girl and wow XYZ that's so awesome of you. When you are given validation and compliments even for the most menial of things you grow complacent. You stop trying to improve yourself and when we you finally see someone who is improving your first thought is to bring them down. How dare he try to better himself or how dare she look better than me. They don't look to reach the top, they want the top to come down to their level.

While some men might think that way most don't. When a man sees say a buff dude at the beach his first thought isn't how dare this faggot have such good body and make me look bad. He should let be like that it makes me feel bad. Their first thought damn that's a nice body, I wanna be that way or I should improve myself.

You want a proper gf get one who has achieved something in life, who knows the value of hardwork and the importance of improvement.

Good job user. She tried bossing you around, and you didn't take her shit.

You gf reminds me of the time I had the most retarded fight ever with my ex.
>trying to start a "deeper" conversation with gf
>talk about space and the universe
>"user, did you know the great wall of china is the only thing on earth you can see from the moon?"
>at this point I was pretty mad because we watched a tv show the day before where they debunked shit like this and she obviously wasn't paying attention and just heard the common misconception
>explain to her how the chinese wall is way too narrow and that by that logic you should be able to see every high way or building that's bigger than a couple of hundred square meters
>explodes at me about how I always try to make her feel dumb and that I'm wrong
>show her proof on from credible online sources
>"You are such a fucking asshole" and leaves the room

The fuck did she expect me to say? Just leave her with her stupid misconception? Why can't women appreciate when you're actually trying to help them out and clear a misconception they had? Why the fuck do they have to get this angry over petty shit? I don't get it.

White girls, broskys

Learn how to talk to women. They aren't logically trying to make a point they're expressing what they feel like atm.

This is true, but discussing the philosophy of their retardation won't change the fact that they're retarded or the fact that for normies pussy will always be put on a pedestal.

Logic and girls don't typically mix and it takes a lot of us too long to figure that out.

>goes into a thread about "dumb gf/wife stories?"
>"WAH WAH, WHY ARE YOU BLOGGING"

you gotta get better at educating her dumb stupid tiny female brain.

my gf is an absolute retard and always spouts dumb mouth diarrhea from her stupid fucking mouth hole.

so i prove her wrong and when she gets mad I say basically what you've told us but differently "would you rather I had said nothing and let you look like a fucking idiot in public when you shared that nonsense?"

idk I kinda own her so maybe it's just different.

>and that I should have ran behind her the day we fought to win her back

This type of shit
Women really just want to think they live in some romantic movie

She felt stupid, and instead of learning from it, she tried to shut you down.

>be pretty athletic, not huge but decently built
>gf starts getting pissy with me one day
>day goes on into a week
>one Sunday she's bitching at me while I'm looking at cars to buy
>wasn't really paying attention to her, thought she said something
>don't even look up from my phone, say: I'm shopping for an upgrade
>look up at her, she has this mortified look on her face
>gets really sweet really fast wakes me up with a blowjob on Monday

Oh women

Translation: She had more important things to do, like getting faceblasted by strange cock.

Oh man, this reminded me of something:

>Hot girl
>Atheist/agnostic
>Top of her class
>Studying to become a doctor
>She has beauty and brains, her brains however only help her get good grades, she has no common sense
>one day we are talking about male and female anatomy
>She talks about how Men have less ribs than women (because of the story of adam and eve) like its fact (she does not know its biblical)
>i stare at her incredulously and change subject.

Women choose beliefs based on emotion men choose beliefs based on evidence you have to make a woman understand with emotion which is the most psychotic backwards shit ever but it's the only way to actually get a message through

lmao.

It was from when I was a lot younger and desperate. When I look back at it I realize that I should have put my foot down bit ehh at least I learnt a thing or two. It's all about experiences, if you don't fuck up you don't learn.

Not really.That's only till your mid twenties. Pussy loses power as you age, if you are a young user then I suggest you focus on getting a degree and a good career. There is nothing wrong in having a gf and a few flings but don't make it your whole life

nah man. call her on it. make her feel stupid in the most polite way possible. it'll humble the shit out of her. she might resent you initially but it's all for the better. she may be a doctor someday, but you were the one that had to tell her the story of Adam and Eve is biblical fiction.

>ex gf would put tape over the camera on her laptop because she was worried a hacker would turn it on and watch her use her computer
>one time we were gonna video chat and she refused to take it off. Said her camera was "most vulnerable to being hacked" at that time

other dumb shit she did:
>Made undercooked pancakes with day old batter. I BEGGED her not to do it because of food poisoning. She had diarrhea for like 10 days after and we couldn't have sex for a week.
>She got diagnosed with GERD and her doctor specifically told her to avoid fried foods. We go out to dinner that day and she gets fried calamari and complains about acid reflux for the rest of the night.

FUCKING WOMEME

With the nu-male generation there isn't much hope for change, it'll all be spiraling decadence that we can't hope to stop.

This. They are emotional creatures, they are built that way. They'd rather take a hike through the woods and get mauled by a bear than take a normal route because the woods are more romantic.

How come there's a shitton of girls in schools and colleges that are really smart when it comes to school education but fucking retarded when it comes to common knowledge and shit like that? I've never seen a dude with good grades who doesn't also have vast knowledge in many different subjects outside his main education.

Did not expect to see Chef Motherfucking John on Veeky Forums of all places haha.

I think its because they aren't truly interested, they aren't committed to it because they love it or want it, or have a yearning to learn, but simply because its what they have been told to do, or believe they have to do.

>put tape over the camera on her laptop because she was worried a hacker would turn it on and watch
but I'm sure she has no qualms taking selfies all fucking day and doing the occasional nude selfie

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_bind

Why do women always do this, there is no way out.
You cant answer without giving her a way to feel offended.
If you just dont answer, they bitch that you never talk about things.
If you call her out, she gets pissed.

Should have pissed in her mouth lad.

It all comes down to interest. They take a course that is popular or whatever most of us do anyway but they don't have genuine interest for it. They study for the grades not the knowledge. Don't blame them but I think it's a shitty attitude

Dat double chin

>occasional
if there's one thing I learned its that ALL girls constantly take pictures of themselves naked. whether they have them saved or not is a different story. my closer friends who happen to be girls admit to also constantly checking their pussies and assholes in mirrors.

>same gf
>I decide I'm going to quit smoking because it's fucking with my lifts
>being that I'm quitting I outlaw smoking in my car
>make this clear to her numerous times remind her every time we're going to drive somewhere
>I shit you not the first thing she does upon entering my car is fish for a cigarette
>tell her no smoking
>she lights it up anyway
>pluck the cigarette from her mouth and toss it
>gets pissy at me goes for another
>grab her pack and throw it out my window after snapping the second cigarette from her mouth
>activates super bitch mode
>why did I do that blah blah blah
>tell her I told her not to smoke in my car

Peace through power

KANE LIVES!

Anyway I'm done guys. Got lots of work to do and I am really sleepy. Will leave you with a few pearls of wisdom

Don't be yourself. You aren't perfect, try to improve always.

Parties, girlfriends and etc are fun and important but don't make it your life. Focus on getting skills that help you get employed

Do what you like, work hard for it. If you don't know what you like do something that will fetch you money.

Don't let anyone drag you down. If someone is weighing you down, cut them off. Don't waste your life trying to save someone

Invest money wisely. Never lend money and more importantly never owe money.

Have friends from different races and cultures. They'll help you get out of your comfort zone and you'll learn a thing or two

Never make friends less important than girlfriend.

Respect your parents and cherish them.

Apply talcum powder to your balls especially if you live in Florida or some other humid shithole. Apply coconut oil to your hair an hour before your bath

Alpha male

>Do what you like, work hard for it. If you don't know what you like do something that will fetch you money

Good advice

Last story about this gf, our break up
>relationship had gone downhill since I quit smoking
>gf had been really bitchy 24/7 after I cracked down on smoking in the apartment
>my lifts had gone up (imagine that) and in general I was feeling better about my life
>just started a new job as a tree climber (great job btw) so I was moving to an apartment closer to my work
>I move in all my stuff a day before she brings over her stuff
>cop some "goodbye old apartment" sex
>walking up the stairs to my new apartment, she's carrying a box of her stuff
>before I enter my apartment I turn to her and say
>"I only have one key."
>she asks why
>"Think about it."
>she cracks a smile and keeps prying why I only have one key and to let her in because the box is heavy
>I don't move, tell her to think about it again
>watch the realization dawn on her face
>"You're breaking up with me?"
>touch my finger to my nose charades style
>cue the waterworks
>think about comforting her for a second, but then realize I don't have to
>say: "Okay, I'm just going to go inside now." and enter my apartment
>2 hours of pounding on my door, screaming and balling later someone on the same floor calls security
>watch her get escorted off site from my new window
>make myself a fat gin and tonic, put Akira on and toast to a breakup well executed
You cannot kill the Messiah

I had this, then she left me for someone better

>"You're breaking up with me?"
>touch my finger to my nose charades style

i genuinely lol'd my dude

PEACE THROUGH POWER.