Fat people story time!

You guys know the drill. I need motivation to not be a fat ass. Give me some gruesome stories of the large and lardy.

I'll start

Is this even possible? It seems like the kind of thing that would make national television just from how absurd and disgusting it is.

this is nicked from one of those forums where paramedics write out the most horrid shit they've seen though

it's in ridiculous detail

Just look up #fatsidestories on twitter and get really angry/disgusted at the amount of denial these planets have.

>Went to elementary school with hamplanet who always carried around a 64oz jug of soda that she filled from a gas station.
>On fridays, an ice cream cart would set up in the cafeteria. She would eat nothing but ice cream until she was full and considered that a meal.
>Admitted she never drank water, because why drink boring old water when there were so many tasty sugary drinks to choose from?
>Our class graduates to middle school.
>Puberty sets in and she begins to fret about her weight, but is confused why she's a literal sphere.
>We told her to stop drinking a literal gallon of soda a day.
>She called us idiots, "Drinks don't make you fat! Food makes you fat!"
>She literally thought people only got fat from eating cartoonish amounts of food and was confused because she didn't eat that much.
>Eventually we get it through her fucking skull that soft drinks are bad for you. For fuck's sake, we had posters plastered all over our elementary and middle school cafeterias promoting healthy diets and telling us to avoid sugar. Are you fucking illiterate?
>She starts filling her big gulp with gatorade and hi-c instead, because "sports drinks and fruit juices are healthy!"

Her family probably let her eat whatever she wanted and never gave her a point of reference for a healthy balanced meal. She was in 7th grade and still didn't understand what the significance of a calorie was.

I honestly think these serve more as a Veeky Forums parallel to reality TV than a real motivator. Basically people looking at people much more disgusting than themselves to boost their own self esteem, holding themselves against a standard of absolute degeneracy so that they look good in comparison.

You want motivation, you should have a fit people appreciation thread. These are the people you should be weighed against.

...

>lifting at gym
>Chad bro comes up with his friends
>You can do it user
>His friends keep cheering me on
>finish last set and they go wild
>move onto next guy doing the same thing
We're gonna make it.

>She was in 7th grade and still didn't understand what the significance of a calorie was.
Gotta be straight with you, neither did I.
Home economics was just preparing a given dish from measured-out ingredients and ironing shirts, biology was just the retards howling really loudly about how they were never going to need the knowledge in real life so we never really got much further than the part about the birds and the bees.

I would only partially agree with you, as the board is already filled with people comparing themselves to those they perceive as "lower" than themselves - Whether it be /r9k/, Veeky Forums, r/fitness, pick-up artists, Crossfitters...
However, I do think you raise a very valid point about "weighing" yourself against fit people - While I do not think that the part where you see how you measure up to someone else is the most critical part, I think it is way better to see how much more potential you have and how much further you can go, rather than reading through these threads, possibly muttering to yourself about how you're at least not that bad and (perish the thought!) growing compacent and lazy.

>not knowing what a calorie is in 7th grade

How short was the bus you went to school on? Did you somehow go to school in a smart car?

It's not stupidity, retard, it's ignorance. US schools are failing bad, especially out in the country and in the Bible Belt. In 9th grafe health we were taught what a calorie was for the first time and that abstinence is the only for sure way to prevent stds/pregnancy/death.

Midwest here.

Can also confirm all this. They have a nurse come in and show you close up pics of STD infected genitals and say the only way to avoid this is to not fuck. End of discussion.

Health class teacher was a fucking bro, though. He knocked over the soda machine in the cafeteria because the ham principal didn't say it negatively impacted health. Health teacher had so much clout at the time from teaching awards that the principal just said fuck it and didn't replace the machine.

...

I thought calories were bad for you until I was 19. Nutrition is a weird one.

>Fat co-worker is convinced the doctors gave him the beetus
>because, and I quote, "I didn't have it before I saw the doctor"
>mfw
>mfw he claimed vegetarians couldn't get diabetes
>mfw the van he drives is littered with cakes and soda and he can't figure out the connection

>64oz of soda
>elementary school

Jesus Christ, how horrifying. I was lucky if I could have one can with dinner during the week.

That's impossible. The septic shock would have killed her long before that point.

Heard of Schapism, m8? Or that Japanese guy who got a facefull of radiation and survived for weeks on end?
People can survive horrendous shit for surprising amounts of time.

be fatass

women just dont want to sit next to you, tfw the ffeels

I've read this before

I posted it in a previous thread.

...

Mr. Skeltal is teaching health class to our kids

fully agree, but I still love FPH

also, checked

I *copied it from* a previous thread

fixed

Even in the UK we were taught loads about 'healthy eating', but fuck all about nutrition and why certain foods were bad, other than "It's got a lot of fat"

>abstinence is the only for sure way to prevent stds/pregnancy/death.
It IS the only for sure way to prevent stds/pregnancy and death.
There's not a single study or sane person on the planet that will tell you otherwise.

>Go to America
>Brought "I can't believe is not Butter!" because I was shopping fast and didn't read the "I can't believe is not" part.
>Eat it
>You bet I can believe is not fucking butter

I have yet to comprehend why people think margerine is a substitute for butter

Invented for Napoleon's armies

Granted, but do you really expect teenagers to not fuck? The best thing you can do is arm them with the best knowledge you can about avoiding these things, which the schools are refusing to do because MUH FEEEEEEELS! Condoms are only given a cursory overview, birth control was never discussed in my classes. Myths were rampant, and knowledge was horrifyingly absent.

>tfw this was me
>tfw I avoid soft drinks like Satan now
It's gotten to the point where I comparatively drink alcohol more than soft drinks. Feels good no longer being a planet, though.

How implausible do you think it is for an user to recycle his own anecdote from a FPH thread the day before?

>I didn't have it before I visited a doctor
Top kek

>back in HS
>have benches made for three people
>school is literally stairs
>every break one fat kid occupies the first three seater in between two floors
>always see him eating snickers
>always see him glaring when me and my friends are capable of physical movement
>walk past him one day
>"I always see you staring!"
>wtf?
>"Excuse me?"
>"Yeah, you're always staring at me"
>"So..?"
>"Do you think I'm fun to look at?"
>visibly angry
>randomly stands up and jumps down on his ass on the bench
>literally. fucking. breaks, beneath his ass
>stand there amazed by wtf just happened
>do a 360 and walk away

I don't know why he did any of the shit he did, at all, I'd never talked to him before and I couldn't take him seriously after breaking a fucking bench with his ass.
Whilst talking to me he was on his 4th snickers as well.

Stop being a fucking leech, you have to have your own reasons to work out.

And if you have not worked out in a long time then just think about every other thing people do in life, starting is hard, but once you get going its so easy, in fact you naturally want to do it.

You need to have some legit reasons as to why you want to do this, then you need to go out even if you don't want to.

If you wait until the right time to do something, you willl probably never do it.

>Brought
Brah, the way to remember bought/brought is that Bring and Brought both have R's and mean the same thing in a different tense.

To purchase something is the opposite. you BOUGHT it.

Good guy Chad. :^)

no its not.

Here is south africa where our public hospitals are nightmare tier we requlary have people who meld with their beds after they stop being able to move (coma, paralyzed, so on) and the nurses cant be bothered to clean/turn the patients.

180 and walked away or 360 and walked into him

>2016
>not aware of the meme

you fucking moonwalk away, dumbass

I read it to be entertained

Easy b8

Im slowly losing weight. It's hard. I think they did something to my testosterone levels. They do all sorts of experiments in my sleep i cant remember. I think im going crazy

The japanese guy only survived that long because they kept him alive. Just to see the long term effects of radiation poisoning.

I'm aware of that, but even with medical aid, the fact that he lasted so long was nothing short of a miracle.

how's your first week on the four chan?

...

Oh i have one for once
>be this weekend
>a hambeast and her beta male servant are moving in next door
>her beta male skelly boyfriend cant get sofa up stairs
>help them get it up stairs, and chit chat a bit
>somehow we get into the topic of dieting
>hambeast says she puts on weights if she just look at a salad
>skelly cuck claims he cant put on any weight no matter how much he eats
>i explain thats not how it works, and that its possibel to gain and loose for everybody
>they say i dont understand about their genetics and bla bla bla
>i dont want to argue with these shitheads so i just nod at them and wish them a good day
>later that day i meet hambeast by the elevator as im going to gym, ask where she's going, she says just out..
>as i walk down the street i see her run over the street and to a burgerplace thats on the other side of our building
>over the next few days something wierd happens
>i meet her going to the burger place each time i leave my place
>its like my "i need to go train" clock and her "i need burgers" clock had been synchronized
>i get home from gym, there she is with burgers, i go to gym there she is on her way to get burgers
>she starts getting shameful about it, cause it happens so often, looking down at the gound, and pretending to not see me, as she does the walk of shame home to eat the burgers
>after a while she tries to even just ignore me in the building, not even giving me a nod or looking at me, treating me like im the predator in camuflage mode
>on day i cant help myself as i see her cross the street, i yell "how's their salad's?!!?!"

How did she react?

>Be working out on bench
>Cutie is working out next to me on other bench doing dumbell bench press
>Fat girl walks over to her after doing cardio or some shit and stands over her while shes lifting
>Asks her if shes gonna be done soon
>Sweat drips down onto cuties face
>She screams as it hits her in the eye
>Fat girl leaves the gym
It probably didn't help that I was laughing so hard

She didn't, kept her mouth shut and didn't make any eye contact.

Not gruesome but:

>8th grade pre-algebra class, Hawaii
>teacher is fresh printer paper pale white hamplanet from Minnesota or some shit; it's her first year on the island
>already way out of her depth because school is full of retard brown locals and aggressively catty asian grills
>no one respects this out-of-state snow globe. on top of that she's fat as shit
>one of the students starts rolling up paper balls and throwing them at her back/head
>other students (myself included) catch on and start doing it too, making it impossible for her to trace the origin of fire
>because she's fat as shit she can't 180 fast enough to catch us
>she gets flustered and blood rushes to her face seeping through her pale skin, effectively metamorphosing into a human tomato
>not even 2 weeks into the "semester" she breaks down in tears and dismisses the class early

Felt kind of bad, but I can't help think this wouldn't have happened if was at least < 200lbs

>"how's their salads"
Kek

you cheeky bastard

Hmmm, so how does Hawaii treat white mainlanders? Ive always wondered, its gotta be annoying to be a tiny ass vacation hell hole

Please be bait, someone can't be this new

Depends who you run into. There are definitely folks who hate "outsiders" and "haoles", but most sane people don't give a shit. Overall I'd say we're overpopulated, overpriced, and everyone's angry regardless.

Some guy thats not me answered for me, but he was actually almost right, her head went down and she pretended not to have heard me

I always wonder about these thin guy with fat gf duo's... If tvey belive they look the way they do because of genetics... Then are they having kids together because they think their genetics even iut each other, and that they will have sone Chad or Stacy baby???

This does happen irl, and seeing it probably reinforces their belief that it will happen.

>anime poster
>fat

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Hiroshi Ouchi, iirc survived 83 days. There's a book about him if anyone wants to read it.

Here's your (you) newfriend.

>>on day i cant help myself as i see her cross the street, i yell "how's their salad's?!!?!"

Fucking lol'd, please tell me there's a reaction or follow up, please oh please.

Swell guy that Chad.

Filtered ;)

Public schools in Canada are really bad for this. If you're lucky enough to have a home economics class at all, it's nothing more than cooking from a recipe. There's no real educational value to it at all; it's just a class that people take because it's practically impossible to fail.

Canadafag here

I learned about the food pyramid in elementary school, and then again in more detail in middle school, and had 2 classes in highschool where I had to track what I ate for at least 3 days and evaluate my diet, providing areas for improvement. I realize home economics classes are mediocre at best, but they do provide you with at least a basic foundation to eat well.

Where in Canada are you from? I'm Albertan
>inb4 lol oilers
>inb4 esks had to bite the pillow against the stamps for the second week in a row

...

Angels of Zyzz

my bestfriend is filipino, very brown and is planning on moving to hawaii to teach engrish. Will he be treated like shit since he grew up on the mainland?

Yes you will be

This happened about a month ago.

>PhD
>very famous professor coming to visit to show us a text in a 4-hour workshop
>me + other advanced students + teachers
>ex-classmate hamplanet who only made it through her MA thesis by our prof holding her hand every step of the way is also there
>was always very quiet, but she linked her tumblr to her normiebook once so now I know her tumblr
>I shouldn't have looked
>full-on online sjw
>identifies as asexual and feels oppressed because of it
>hates white men but not her dad who pays for everything
>get's fatter every time I see her
>anyway
>workshop starts
>everybody has coffee or tea and some brought bottles of water
>it's only 4 hours with a break in between
>right after lunch too
>hammoon brought a bottle of cola and chocolate milk
>buy more during the break
>after the break pulls out two double mars bars
>starts unwrapping them
>painfully noticeable since there's only 8 people in a very small room, with only the visiting prof speaking quietly
>start shoving them down her face while making noises like a pig starved for weeks
>everyone stares blankly
>visiting prof speaks up to counter the noises
>visible disgust.tiff
>after class the students go out for coffee/tea
>hamplanet excuses herself and says she needs to go home for 'work'
>check her tumblr later, she posted an enormous rant about how we are all shitlords who don't understand her social anxiety

It's nothing spectacular, but I really hate this two-face bitch. She doesn't even have the balls to vent her delusions in public.The only satisfaction I get is that soon she won't be able to walk and I'll never have to see her again.

okay real talk. i live in a really secluded, rich, white area on top of a mountain above a minority rich, crime heavy city. its like a haven up a mountain. the problem is everything is fucking expensive. buying a whole fucking 45 oz tub of i can't believe its not butter is cheaper than buying four 8 tablespoon stick sets of actual butter somehow. its like 10-15 dollars for some butter here. 5-7 dollars for a gallon of milk. 6 dollars per lb of chicken breast. i guess im going to be cuttting for the rest of my life because i cant afford fucking food up here holy shit.

Can you order stuff online from a cheaper supermarket downtown and have it delivered?

Why are you not linking this rant? This sounds hilarious. At least screenshot and blur names ou

ever thought about outing her in public? You could print some of her more agressive tumblr posts and staple them around uni.

Because her tumblr is a mess and it would take me way too long to find. Most of what she does is reblog sjw shit endlessly and add maybe one short comment to it on the bottom. It's nothing you haven't seen before.

I might, but we're in a very small field and it would just look bad for me. But next time she bitches about white men I might - all our profs are white men, and they al did a lot for her.

>tripfag
>retarded

Like pottery.

what's her tumblr? haven't slept for 2 days, need something to anger me so I can stay awake a bit longer

seconding this:
We won't reveal you post on a Laotian pog exchange board, m8.

I've finally broke. I feel bad writing about her but it's gotten to that point.

>move to Chicago
>playing basketball at gym, chum it up with this guy Mark
>he's also new to Chicago
>befriend him, hang out a bunch, play ball etc
>one day meet Mark's girlfriend of 6 years
>she's fat. not landwhale or hamplanet status, but fat.
>see pictures of them from when they were in college
>Annie (his gf) is slim and sexy as fuck
>see various pictures from college to now and see she gradually gains about 5 - 10 lbs per photo
>now_i_can_get_fat.jpg
>the more I hang out with them, the more I see how lazy she is
>"babe while you're up, can you turn the A/C on?"
>"can you bring me my phone? it's in the bedroom"
>always says shit like this to mark and when he refuses, she doesn't get up but instead complains about it being hot or how she's thirsty or whatever
>drinking with her one day
>she gets drunk and breaks down saying she doesn't feel pretty and she knows she's fat
>tell her to work out with me
>we start playing tennis 3 times a week
>after a month she complains about not seeing results
>one day go over to their place to play vidya with mark
>while we do that, she binges on pretzels, dipping them in sour cream
>we then watch a movie
>she eats oreos
>feeds some oreos to their dog
>total gains goblin

anyway, this made me irrationally angry recently
>annie gets me a job at the market she works at
>qt coworkers everywhere
>hook up with a coworker who's slim but has a phat ass
>text Annie about it, saying how "thick white girls turn me on"
>her reply is "haha are you hitting on me?"
>refrain from saying mean shit because Annie is my friend
>"No, I was talking about Brooke. She's thick af"
>Annie replies with "Brooke's not thick..."
>"Brooke is thick where it counts, uknowumsayin"
>Annie replies with "I'm thick"
>mfw

I don't know how to help her anymore.
She said she's depressed and hates it in Chicago and that's why she overeat

>Chicago is forcing me to eat
>Trump is forcing me to eat
>My dad is forcing me to eat
>Getting dumped is forcing me to eat
>Trolls are forcing me to eat
>Eating too much is forcing me to eat

Mark is kind of a cuck, though. Why does he put up with that shit? Does he lift?

It's always difficult to help the people you can't help. This might also irritate the person.
Did you give her the old calories in, calories out?
Did you tell her that she can't outrun a bagel?

>have fat roommate
>just eats junk all the time
>eating tomatoes and mozzarella with balsamic vinaigrette. Drinking a soda
>he is playing street fighter badly
>on his second rage quit one more and he is banned for the day
>ends up rage quitting that
>can't play online anymore
>get mad picks up soda and starts chugging it
>not the soda it's the bottel of vinaigrette
>drinks all of it
>doesn't even care.

I hate him so much but he pays his share on time. Don't be like him look at what you are eating

>be fat
>smell bad
>get unfat
My life story plz r8

Yeah he lifts, he's my gym buddy.
I guess he's been with her for 6 years, almost 7 and that's probably why he puts with it.

Yeah, anytime I catch her binge eating, she always does the "let's just work out an extra half-hour tomorrow to make up for it" and then is "too tired".
She does seem to be miserable here. If she's not overeating, she's getting shitfaced somewhere. She's 28 years old but drinks like she's still in college. I feel bad.

if you dont smell anymore, gz user

kek

If it was me in her place I'd just give you guys an assload of homework to do over the weekend and remind the class that the paper throwers are ultimately responsible.

I guess that's why I'm not a teacher.

>"I'm thick"
kek'd

God that really sucks, I'm a history teacher and I'm glad that I'm 6'4 and Veeky Forums, some women get absolutely fucking raped by the inner city kids, its almost always the old and fat teachers too.