General tinder help thread

What do I say now Veeky Forums?
Also to make it fitness, do good mornings offer anything glute bridges don't that would make them worth the risk?

>I'll take you on a trip out of this world from the comfort of your bedroom

Jesus is this so hard, OP?

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HOW DO YOU SHOW YOUR ABS WITHOUT A BEACH PIC!?!?

>Then you're cleared for takeoff

Stupid shit to keep the banter going but also propose a specific time and place to bone

you don't

Forearms and general 3d look you achieve from deadlifting > abs. The former makes you look like an actual adult man

pls no bait. Want a serious answer.

Lol at deluded fatties who think they know what women want

[spoiler]but I am a woman[/spoiler]

"Let's cut the crap. I'm about to rape you in the puss tube."

So answer my question

I did, there really isn't a good way for a man to show abs in profile pictures. Like it's not just something casual or normal, you can't make it seem like they just ended up there. It's very obvious you chose a picture with your abs on them, might as well just pose shirtless like a douchebag instead of trying to make it seem natural. It'll never be natural. Some girls find it gross, some girls find it hot. Probably most hot if you're hot since girls use tinder mostly for sex, it's not really a dating app

You could show a pic swimming

>come over and we fuck in my rocket ship bed bb

then let's blast off to (local bar) this (time and day that fits you) and then mabye we can land back at my place ;)

>I'll show you my spaceship

have someone take a pic of you while you do shit like being in the grill(manly as fuck desu), washing your car, hugging your dog

activities that have an excuse to be shirtless

Op pls respond

What about taking it in front of a balcony and saying I took on vacation.

Posting new opening line for fitness girls

I don't think anyone will care where you say you took the pic or what excuse you come up with..

you overthink this big time

Jesus Christ this is autistic

"You should come over."

She is literally begging for you to put your gentleman sausage in her lady biscuit, why are you posting on fit when you should be gettin that ASS right now??

What if I photoshop it to make it look like I'm in front of a beach. Will girls notice?

No, women actually can't detect when images are edited, studies have shown. As such, you can just use MS paint and they won't be able to tell the difference.

i really dig her circus makeup

>"dumb bitches"
>le i care about the ass!
>weathered bitchy face

DROPPED

Seems legit. No photoshopping here.

Should I make a Tinder? I am kinda spaghettio to chat online, but I'm better IRL.

What sorts of pics should I upload? What should I put in my bio?

cringe desu

uups, didn't mean to quote anyone.

op if you do anything more than pump and dump this girl, you are going to regret it

I am not op but I posted this and yeah that's the plan

Don't do any of these. Get to the point and terminate this tiring back and forth le space analogy. It was good for breaking the ice, not after

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W E W L A D S

All you need is height

>actually thought these were real suggestions

FUCK YOU BOTH REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

...

kek

saving this shit

Perfect.

Awesome

amazing

HAHAHHAHA

BLAST OFF

It should've been obvious

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Fake and gay. Rippletits or gtfo

are you legitimately retarded?

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Dying user

>how bout i let something slide inside you

I think there's a retard here and it isn't this guy

Yolo

so you?

Striven isn't a word

Not sure if bot orrr?

Run

Either a bot or extremely retarded girl

I installed Tinder like three weeks ago, uploaded my best pics, swiped right daily on anything except traps and morbidly obese women and I haven't had a single match. I knew I was not the cream of the crop but... shit.

mein sides

my profile:
>pic with doggo
>pic on motorcycle
>action shot on motorcycle from race track
>another doggo pic with my fancy car in the back next to my parents fancy house so they think its mine, i have an okay apartment lol
>beach pic
ez matches

Turned out to be one of those meet verification phising scams

...

I can't use this. What if they ask to see and realize that I just followed a meme routine for the past year

Fucking dying

made my gay friend sign up on tinder and i swear more girls swipe for him. thinking it's a subconscious thing for them wanting something they dont have
or maybe im just way uglier than him kek but i think were around the same league

Kek
>rriigghhtt nnooww

Get em

>anything except traps
Foolish boy. The best thing has been right in front of you all along.

>spaghettio online

Kek no shit

>bottom left
my sides

It's a bot; had similar messages before where a chick then said I'm at location X, get on this website and cam with me but I need you cc number first

D-do you say I should try user?

No hes being a faggot

Traps=men
If you are into men, go for it
If you are into men who look like women go for it
But dont for a second think that if you are into women, you should go for it.

fuck

Maybe I'm just lucky but I live in Orange County, CA and there are a lot of super hot ones.

>general 3d look
Man I fucking hate dyels

why do I even come here anymore
zyzz is dead
scoobs is gone
even mong moved out of his mum's house

Veeky Forums is shit

>something along these lines
Seriously, took me .2 seconds to think of this. Just use "out of this world" somewhere in your punchline and you're getting laid, guaranteed.

I saw no one responded to you, so I just wanted to let you know, you're a real fag dude.

Ok you got me.

You know those weezy laughs that some people make? I just did one of those.

She just wants a dick pic and doesn't actually want to request it lol
>womynz

A woman of taste

>believing this

What a fag

>have windows phone
>get third party client for tinder, it works fine
>it stops working
>try to uninstall and redownload
>it wont redownload
>get a different third party client
>it looks much worse made
>1 match in 6 weeks
>then suddenly, 6 matches in the last 5 days

fucking windows phone, not even once

>tfw not even the spam bots match with me on tinder any more

This is why I left LA Fitness.
>golf man
>push-ups on plates
I hope he fell and broke his wrists.

God-teir desu

toasting in epic bread

Name a better opener

...

Yeah sure, you pretty much need a second opener now.

You're doing god's work, user

Her profile described her as "fat babe. Selfie queen. Feminist"

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Top kek

lmfao

>been fat and gfless all my life
>get reasonably Veeky Forums
>lifting weights didn't teach me how to talk to women

what the fuck do I say so they'll open up their legs for me lads?

kekked

just bee urself

finally a girl actually says what she wants

WHY ARE WOMEN THESE DAYS SUCH WHORES.

We grew up in the 90's, and even until like 2004, it seemed as if we will all grow up and get a virgin girlfriend happily. When we were kids the concept of a one night stand was nonexistent. The norm was to date someone for a long term, and we expected girls to have a history of 1-3 boyfriends, not of over 30 chads they fucked that year.

WHY. WHY.