wake up

> wake up
> have my 4 cups of coffee
> on toilet for two hours
> missing classes
> repeat every day

I'd ask if you're retarded but I already have the answer

idk how strong are you?

I want to kill myself without it. It's like a switch from omega to alpha.

I don't understand.

Coffee is a laxative.

I know. I still don't understand.

>wake up
>go to work
>drink two cups of coffee throughout the day
>go to school
>buy another cup of coffee
>go home
>massive shit everywhere
>shower and sleep
>repeat every day

>eat 3200 calories a day, about 2000 of them right before bed
>drink ~20oz coffee on an empty stomach every morning
>haven't shit in 3 days

I think something might be wrong

I was in the army, once we were in the field and I didn't shit for 2 weeks

I can't shit in the nature

That couldn't have been healthy

Then again, I wonder if there is some type of super efficient food that gets digested ~100% so you don't have much waste

I never went to class in uni. Got a engineering degree and a job 1 month after grad

""" go getters """ that were part of 10 societies and went to every class still jobless

I used to have a somewhat similar problem, though way less severe. At first I thought it was the coffee, but then I moved to a low carb diet, which included giving up my daily big bowl of breakfast cereal, and it stopped. Not sure if it was the carbs or the milk. I think stress was also a factor, it tended to happen more when I was running late or was worried about something.

Where did you go to uni?

A decent chunk of our engineering courses here include group and/or class work, so if you miss even 1 without an excuse you're fucked.

i remember reading about some tech bro who was going on a long trip or something, can't remember the specifics, so he took antibiotics to kill off his gut bacteria so he wouldn't need to poop.

Well of course I'd go to the group classes but I did all the solo work on my own

I went to ubc

This is absolute broscience bullshit and wouldn't work.

I only shit like every three or so days in the field. And I drink a shitload of coffee because I'm a 13D.

I've only heard this second hand, but some guy was saying he shit like once a week in the army because MREs are basically just concentrated nutrients

>4 cups of coffee with no food

Well there's your problem

lol wut
How do you think the body would get rid of the food that entered the body? Even if that were possible your stomach would explode after a certain point and you wouldn't be able to absorb nutrients at all.

It was only for like a single day or something. Apparently it did work. Though I whole heartedly agree that it's almost certainly an incredibly unhealthy thing to do.

On the subject of shitting.

I shit very little and when i do its close to a torpedo but still mush, not big and light brown.

Does this mean I'm using most of everything i eat?

i never went to class
>Oh except for group work
Labs 3 times a week
>Ok so i went to class 3 times a week
Exams and quizzes
>ok i went to those too
How often did you go to class?
>never

Hopefully that means you're eating lots of oats and beans

>(spoiler) Pfft i eat enough fruits
(/spoiled)