Sexual Health

Has anyone on Veeky Forums ever been to an asian massage parlor?

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Yes, several times. Ask away.

Yes. If they ask if you have been there before say yes, about a year ago. Always buy an hour over a half hour, and tip a bit for the hour. Ask if they have table shower, if so do it, and put your hand on her leg as she washes you. The rest should fall into place.

Is it worth it or are they all dusty wrinkly women?

the first time I went I told them that was my first time there.
Still got the massage, and they washed my body.
I got hard during the massage and when she saw it I said whoa I'm sorry. She said it was ok it's natural
During the bath, she jerked me off.
When I went a second time she fucked me during the massage, and then gave me a bath after.

Have some decency man dont do it
All the girls that work in these shady places are being trafficked

>Donald Trump supporter confronted by Asian woman

Dude, if eating cookies killed a random kitten and I found a bowl of cookies, I'm gonna eat those cookies.
Because if I don't, someone else is going to come along and eat them.
And I fucking like cookies.

Upvoted XD

You could also try to bury or get rid of the cookies in some other way, although it won't work as an analogy to an Asian massage parlour any more.

>wasting perfectly good cookies

This deserves a (you)

anyone use rubmaps before?

Kegels, link to doing a proper guide. I can't seem to do them without clenching other muscles.

Fbi pls go

now i have lennyface.jpg

How expensive is getting my pecker jerked?

what is it

Site that details reviews of massage parlors. Where you get a massage. And nothing else.

who's the girl

>ask away
>doesn't answer

>That pose
Fucking /tv/ and their reality-permeating memes

$40

>$40 for a handjob

might as well jump on tinder, find a fatty, and take her out on a date. you'll get more than a handjob at least.

>girl

I saw someone post a month ago about picking up street hookers and getting hj's for like 10 bucks. But they're also street hookers. You have hands anyway, just use your own.

God fucking damnit my man

God fucking damnit

Getting a handjob from anyone other than yourself is almost asking for a worse time than just jerking it to your favorite fapfolder with the addition of losing more money.

The only exception I can see is a masseuse, because at least they actually know what the fuck they're doing

oh, I didn't know realitykings did tranny porn

Ok so what if its like a regular asian massage parlor. How do you know you'll get jerked off?

Or do i just slide a 20 over to her mid massage?

What about stds? How do I know the place is clean?

i went to asian hair/nail place to get a quick buzz cut and she cut my hair and was brushing off my head for little too long, even wiped down my chest like there really was hair there.
tempted to do her since i can get free haircuts maybe.
she looked late 30s though and no good english

sex is a universal language

Hahaha! You showed that fucking white male! How dare he be in the room as another race or something

u got troled

I've been to one, user. Got 1 hr fullbody massage pack. My masseuse was very good at massage but she wasn't young and she was a little bitchy. After 1 hour of relaxation, she touched my penis and asked me if I wanted a massage for there. I said yes, paid her extra, then she got some lube. Best handjob I've ever had. I was groping her while she jerked my cock. 11/10 experience, you beta virgins should try it.

Bullshit.

I and a lot of other people I know go to these places all the time, and I've never had anything untoward happen and regularly get massages that beat the ones you might pay 100 more for at a fancy spa/massage clinic. If it weren't for asian foot spas I wouldn't be able to afford massage as often and my lifts would go to shit and I'd get injured.

racism+nimbyism seems to fuel the public opposition to these places. You want immigration reform, don't attack small asian businesses under false pretenses. Use the legislature and strengthen the fucking boarders.

I'm not saying that a lot of these places don't specialize in the rub&tug, but I honestly think that a lot of the workers themselves would rather do that and triple their tip than to work even harder for a fraction of the pay doing totally legitimate massage.

I'd say we should go after the guys who pay for this service, but again if the worker wants to make extra money (and most of them do), good luck fighting that without making all forms of massage illegal.

>calls other people beta virgins
>only companionship is paid for and administered by old, asian women

thai girls give the best massage by far

So, you'd rather go on Tinder, find a fat chick, spend money on her and yourself, then possibly get an HJ instead of just paying $40 to get a decent looking asian to jerk you off. Both are pretty shameful but at least the asian chick isn't fat and you don't have to pretend to like her

the massage girl wont tell your wife either or ask any questions

>thai ""girls""

>decent looking asian

you watch too much porn user.

>possibly get a hj

potential ROI is higher than just a hj. with the parlor you're at the ceiling.

>pretend to like her

like with most people you hook up with?

brehs I got to an asian massage parlor where I can fuck the girls for $140. Ive been a regular for a while should I try to haggle the prices down to at least $120? Also covered blowjobs are the worst so im thinking about just seeing regular hookers because most of them do bbbj.

>been a regular for a while
>should i try to haggle

kek.

And I've made one beta virgin mad. Never said it was my one and only experience, bro

>rubmaps
Aw, you have to pay money to see reviews. That's too bad.

>recorded a massage "session"
>Video came out too dark and grainny so you cant really see shit

Fuck at least it was for the best because she was probably the ugliest girl ive fucked.

have you practiced interrupting your stream during a urination evacuation?

tfw paying a wimin to sit on face tomorrow.
hoping for extras, but usually doesnt happen

>I'd say we should go after the guys who pay for this service
That's the stupidest thing I've heard.

Sorry I have a life. Anyway, it depends on where you go. Generally the places that charge at least $60 for the hour have decent looking chicks. Oldest broad I ever had was like 40 but she was still 7/10.

How does one identify the ones with a happy ending? If it's expensive?

>paying for sex

Come on Veeky Forums
Just get it for free from some tinder slut

Ive never used tinder but im not sure thats how it works
There seems to be alot more work and luck involved in getting laid when you try dating some chick

autism made me giggle, nice one

here are pretty clear, the front windows are all plastered with colourful asian women faces and flowers, prices are outside and you can't see shit inside

my friend uses tinder. Had to pend hours on it, accepting every girl he saw it for weeks, until one out of hundreds if not thousands gave her pussy up

Not worth the trouble really

>paying for a handjob

lmao i can do that myself for free

I have been to I think 7 different massage parlors and gotten beat off every time
Worth it

What are the odds the girl at the massage parlor is decent looking or above?
I don't want no grannies touching my lube tube

>2016
>not burying hookers

Fucking casuals.

does it matter?

Agreed. My current gf is pretty good, but I prefer a blowjob over something I can do myself.

I prefer HJ to a Bj anyday
The view is equal but usually girls are stronger in their hands so its a nicer feel

Of course it fucking matters, its like the most important aspect, that you be attracted to the person youre paying for sex

>i hope this restaurant serves fresh and tasty food
>does it really matter?

>i hope this restaurant serves fresh, high-quality seafood
>only orders chips and dip

your analogy is faulty.

Nah

Youre just stupid

>t. Guy who's never had a good bj

Evelyn Lin

>sorry I have a life
>goes to massage parlors and posts on an anime fitness board for autists

some life you got there bruh

Paying for sex in any way is turbo beta

Ive had several but i dont find em enjoyable
If i find a girl again i might change my mind if she is any good at it but outlook is bleak user

You pay for sex anyways when you take a girl out on a date and front the costs

You're making no sense

Id rather pay than put up with women bullshit. As if putting up with childish behavior to get some pussy makes you more of a man.

>being a retarded poorfag that has to use an asian massage parlor rather than fucking an independent escort

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO PHAM buying bux to get some half assed hand job what is the fucking point? I'll rather get my cock sucked and put it into some pussy.. not some grubby little asian disgusting chinky shit. What the fugggg :DDDDDDDDD

memes aside, do you really not enjoy being around women at all? there's definitely some shit you have to put up with, but that isn't the majority of the interaction

They all look the same anyway. Just close your and imagine a hotter moon-faced gook and before you know it you're blowing your load on Old Lady Chang's hand.

sauce to OP? a-asking for a friend...

>You pay for sex anyways when you take a girl out on a date and front the costs

lol @ wining and dining these hoes
that's what pussies do

these are the texts between me and a girl this week after we exchanged numbers on tinder.

>do you really not enjoy being around women at all?
Not the same user
I get where he is coming from, i enjoy talking to women and their company but when you start wanting to fuck things turn complicated
The wanting to fuck part is what muddies up the relation to women

Usually this leads of a gargantuan amount of frustration and thats not really healthy
Paying for sex is trash tier, granted but its alot easier and rewarding than chasing regular girls who just provide you with frustration

Not him, but I agree with him.
If you're unattractive, being around women is terrible.

>he believes this meme
>don't buy from them because they MIGHT be trafficked

>I got that dank loud aswell pham

kill yourself man seriously that was a pathetic convo

Who cares? It works

youtube.com/watch?v=lkw74Qyq0rs

Post tinder bio plz
need info on how to tinder

you look like a faggot

Nice ass on her, how'd you swing that?

Be confident and don't give a fuck about getting rejected
Have your own place
Have alcohol and/or drugs

>have a funny bio
>have pics that make you look fun
>make her laugh when you chat her up
>ask her out for a drink after about 10-20 messages

shit's easy bro.

retard here, a place called "asian massage" opened up in a strip mall in a nice neighborhood near me. Do all asian massage parlors give handies or even let the massage women fuck the people getting massages? Surely some of them are just massage parlors?

check rubmaps and backpage
if theyre on either its almost 100% they give at least hj

>rubmaps
I should have known there would be such a website but damn that name is killing me

heres some of the video
did I goof Veeky Forums?

It's hilarious how niggas who spend time here in fucking Veeky Forums everyday tell others that paying for sex is beta.

Dude, you pay for sex one way or another, and a girlfriend can (often is) far, far more expensive than an escort, with no guarantee of regular sex.

But the issue here is not the cost, it's that some idiots think it's unmanly or something to pay for sex, when in fact there's nothing inherently wrong with it, specially if you just wanna empty your nuts without dealing with drama and bullshit.

As long as you wear protection and don't pick up crack whores on shady street corners, it's all good.

you're right man

Bane?

this, it's not a hookup place unless you're drop dead gorgeous, and let's face it, you're here right now. We know what you look like.

Aren't you guys worries about STDs? Unless you literally slip condoms on during the massage.

I feel worst for unattractive women, no one likes them including themselves

We call these gentlemen scholars and prophets. We can ride their winds of truths to the heavens.
stop texting youself