Really bad sex

I met up with a fatty off tinder thinking I could get a quick lay and only ended up getting a shitty handjob and her wanting to cuddle and sleep together. After the hj I told her I had plans with some friends and left.

s-sauce?

I'm a virgin. L-LMAO haha

no idea user sorry

Why didnt you just stop her if it was that bad?

>fuck girl
>afterwards lying in bed, she tells me that she really likes me
>tell her that I don't want a relationship
>for some reason she says that's ok and we can stay fwb

ps: always use a rubber when fucking FWBs, these hoes are most likely not only having sex you

because he's an insecure beta fag

Steps:
1.Stop trying to fuck your female friends, unless you transform drastically that ship has sailed
2.
>Meet a new girl,
>have hots for each other and fuck.
>Don't be clingy or emotional but stay in good contact
>fuck some more
>realize you get along pretty good with each other outiside of just sex
>also realize neither of you wants a relationship
>just fuck and good times

Congrats, you have a friend with benefits
Its a boodycall that you can also hang out with from time to time.

congrats you were too big for her mouth and she didn't change strategy

it's what you don't say. you don't talk about having a relationship. you just keep hanging and banging.

Thanks for the replies guys.

So did you ask them out on a date first?

...

Lol i say this exactly, "your fucking teeth" they go "how do i do it" i say "use your lips" then i say let me do it. *grab her head and throat fuck her.

Its that simple user.

didn't ask her out, I met her at a party and we made out there. met her again at another party a few days after and I brought her home.

Why The Fuck Do You Capitalize Every Word In Your Sentence?

literally just tell her to go easy with the teeth and she'll take the hint dude

you fucking autistic retard

>She asked me if I wanted to do it again tonight after work, I told her I'm going to be really tired tonight.

Congrats, you and people like you are the reason for chicks giving horrible blow jobs and thinking they're hot shit.

Every time I get a chick that can't give good head, I'll blame you, you spineless motherfucker.

Why didn't you say something you dumb ass beta? This is your own dumb ass fault.

absolutely this.
I mean the girl already has a cock in her mouth, she's postponing her own pleasure to please you. she obviously would like to get a little guidance.

My ex was a godness in bed so every girl I sleep nowadays are shitty.

I cant even cum in most cases.

I miss her so much Veeky Forums

i cum evertime :')

Iktfb

OP here.
I didn't tell her to stop because I kept getting really close to cuming and then she would randomly stop. I told her at the end that she kept biting my dick.
I tried sticking it in her plum pudding love cave before and she stopped me.
She isn't good for anything so I'm just not going to talk to her

Great, you're back...

I had the same story, except it was a guy and I told him to just stop sucking me as it was extremely painful (for me) and that he should gtfo of my house.
Yes, the part where he called back to do it again is also included.

>women

why not just put benis in badina

>haven't actually made any gains yet
>really hot chick in class randomly asks me for my number and says she wants to study with me
>she actually texts first
>asks where i stay
>comes over
>wearing shorts and tank-top
>actually wants to just study
>deflects whenever i try to talk about anything else than the book
>she happily smokes weed when i offer, though
>ignores me the next day when i see her
Okay

>get gf
>virgin, I get her first everything
>her first bj is fucken rad, teeth for the first like, 30s when she actually stopped to ask me if she was scraping my dick with her teeth
>constantly communicating about how she could give better head, she stops to ask me if shes forgetting any of the stuff I like her doing

yfw I never have to deal with bad succ

It's amazing right? It's almost like communication could improve your sex life. Porn never prepared me for this new reality.

Jesus Christ I don't actually subscribe to the memes here but you are an OMEGA MALE

>>goes on for an hour

When I break up with my gf of three years eventually brahs... I am going to fuck the fucking shit out of every one of my female friends

i wanna see this one pushing out a big meaty shit log desu, for laffs.

>put your lips over your teeth
>suck on it like a lollipop

was it really that hard to say that.

I got one.

>Shes on top in cowgirl position
>slides up my dick to about an inch from the head
>Changes positions and grinds back down
>Dick makes a sound like cracking knuckles
>INTENSE PAIN
>She notices my pain
>So close, soldier on because I'm gonna finish
>She stops and asks what happened
>Keep thrusting as I explain
>She breaks down crying and rolls off of me
>Mfw I now have blue balls and a sore dick

>Heh, bet Dani Daniels is in that scene, too
>Look for sauce
>Mfw she is
It's a threesome scene between Alyssa Reece, Dani Daniels and Elisa:

playvids - dot - com/de/v/07489DQyQsI

Nothing special. Just fuck her, dump her, repeat.
Women are stupid, I literally did this with a girl for almost 6 months straight.

>when you bust a nut in her mouth and she tries to kiss you afterwards

>meet up with a girl who's really into me
>we start hooking up while Zootopia is playing
>low key wanna watch Zootopia because i haven't seen it yet
>heard it's really good
>she closes the macbook lid and pushes the laptop to the floor
>pushes me onto the bed
>thisisokay.jpg
>tries to straddle me
>pops out her fucking hip as if she has arthritis at the age of 18
>realize she must have terrible posture and weak IT band
>tell her to get up
>show her a few stretches to help fix her knee/hip problems before they develop any further
>massage her IT band and get her to do a few squats
>she's very greatful, wants to have sex
>at this point i've been showing her rehab/prehab exercises for like 2 hours
>about to miss my gym session with the lads
>leave, when i get home she's removed me from tinder

Go to bed jaden

plus you didn't get to finish watching zootopia

shit date mate so sorry

>for laffs

I just hope she fixes her joint issues or she's gonna have a seriously shit life in 10 years time

tell stretches plz

you to me my shellphone used call on?

>in a party with my buddies
>get wasted
>an ex of my friend approaches me
>we talk for a while
>get more drunk
>the girl ask for the dick
>don't have condoms with me
>I still go
>get a moment of enlightenment during sex
>btfo from there

I'm scared guys, what is the % of she getting preggers or me catching an STD? I didn't get to cum, so I also ended with blue balls.

It's "used call on you to me my shellphone". You read manga right to left.

>hot ottermode dude coming over from tinder to hook up
>been talking for about two weeks
>finally having sex
>hot body, thick cock, scruffy face and good hair
>we start fucking, wants me to call him "daddy"
>well ok I guess, give it a shot
>call him daddy
>"Oh my daughter is so sexy. I've raised such a slut; if your mother knew she'd kick you out of the house!"

I have to sit around with this as a memory I'll have for the rest of my life

nah man, he's right, this is bullshit graphic design

>goes on for an hour
why the fuck didnt you tell anything?
Is she deaf?
Do you have the Autism?

Its all your fault.

...

precum has some kind of chance of getting a girl preggo, iirc, and STDs are a coinflip, just go get tested and pray she isn't pregnant

Welp, thanks.

Did you leave immediately or did you fuck the entire session with your shame

she's just using you to help with school lol.

This has happened many times. Just redirect your kiss to her forehead.

...

Kek

>Not kissing her anyway

>OW
>ow
>eep
>ow ow ow
>ugh your so sweaty
>you stay on top I'm too tired
>ow your hurting my leg
>are you done yet
>why are you soft? Am I not pretty enough for you?

I pretty much developed a pattern whenever I have sex
>eat her out
>69
>missionary
>doggy
>cum
Never disappoints. Good for dates.