Mental Health General

Someone can be "happy" even in the midst of trouble or during a time of trial and tribulation. I feel like happiness comes from a solid bedrock. What that bedrock is constructed from is somewhat of a mystery to me at this point.

Major depression with suicidal tendencies, it started when I was about 14, but I already had signs earlier than that like 11-12. I turn 24 tomorrow.

It was pretty bad. I never did an attempt, but I did an attempt at an attempt but stopped myself. I was NEET, wouldnt get out of bed for days on end. Would constantly look up painless ways to kill myself and I wrote a couple of suicide notes.

Sometimes I do want to get off prescription, because it's just a nuisance sometimes and I'd like to do it on my own, but I also realize that my brain chemistry might just be kind of fucked and if I have to take these meds for the rest of my life I'm okay with that.

The very idea of meds used to disgust me untill I got so low I didnt see any other way. It's amazing how good life can be if you dont beat yourself up over every little thing.

Did you encounter intrusive thoughts through any of this?

There was a time in my life where I considered suicide quite a bit and I noticed that during the same time period I was absolutely plagued with intrusive thought.

What kind of intrusive thoughts? Like wanting to hit random people, take off my pants in the middle of the road and masturbate, sexually harassing/raping women?

Because, yes. Haven't even considered that, but I haven't had those thoughts in a long time.

>don't beat yourself up over the small things

A very important realization.

On the topic of prescriptions, have you ever considered a brain chemistry "reset" through the use of strong psychedelics? I am in a very dissimilar situation to you, but I've heard and read that certain psychedelics can work wonders on people's minds, attitudes and perceptions of themselves and others.

>I feel like happiness comes from a solid bedrock.

You are completely right for most cases. This bedrock is often just love and stability from parents from a young age.

My bedrock right now would be my therapist. She really build me up from the ground.

Cheated on wife 2 yrs ago. Working things out with the Mrs. Life is hell. How long will this last?

i only ever feel rage or apathy anymore

ive gotten good at faking being happy

so thats nice i guess

Fucking exactly that. Some of my most powerful ones were of rape and murder. I think a lot of people suffer from intrusive thoughts but don't really recognize it for what it is.

Personally, once I noticed and actively killed intrusive thought patterns my mindset, attitude and outlook became a thousand percent more positive.

>getting married

How have you not seen this picture before?
Is it your first day here?

Before going into therapy I experimented quite some with drugs, but only did a psychedelic once. It did absolutely nothing for me. I think I'm way too level-headed for any sort of spiritual/emotional journey from the use of psychedelics.

Self-medicating often really doesnt go too good and you should probably stay clear of it.

It could be love in general.

Right now you're pulling love from a therapist but what happens when you stop going?

We all need to find that love internally so we are not reliant on others for happiness. Not that it's the easiest thing to do or anything.

Intrusive thoughts are pretty universal, but, yeah, I definitely had way more of them when I was low. I always thought it were ways for me to lash out at society and life that I was so mad at.

I see them as a symptom, but I gather here that you regard them as a cause?

I think of them as a symptom as well. Once I identified what was happening I realized I didn't have full control of my own mind for whatever reason and worked to fix that.

I think of intrusive thoughts as a symptom of a sick spirit.

I had a girlfriend who loved me a lot, and still loves me as an ex. It didnt do much for me. I think that being taught from a young age that you matter and that the two people who put you on this earth care about you and accept you for who you are is the most important thing. If you have that, then you grow up to be a relatively happy person.

I think finding only love internally is a lost cause. The way I see it, we're social beings, we're best when we're with others, so it makes sense that you feel shit when you have nobody who loves you just for being you. I think every person needs that in the end.

Alright then yeah we're on the same page. Very interesting that you brought it up, it hadn't occured to me at all.

Self medication can be dangerous, absolutely. However I do not trust the medical industry to work in my best interest, or the best interest of people as a whole, and believe they are actively covering up some incredible natural medicines.

This is an area where research into the experience of individuals is important. We can decide whether or not the experience of others can apply to our own situations.

>finding only love internally is a lost cause

Agreed, however I believe that this internal love is that bedrock we are talking about and love for and with others can only be truly sucsessful with a solid foundation of self-love.

I wanna know where i can get a pair of those joggers.

I can't decide for you, of course, and your distrust is well-founded, but are you sure you're not just masking fear by this distrust?

Fear of getting to be happy or 'normal' was very real, atleast for me. You could also be scared that it won't work, etc.

It doesn't feel like fear, but I suppose it could be. I don't fear change or happiness and I believe there are many different avenues to get there. I actually feel quite happy, but I see unhappy people everywhere and want every opportunity for them to see change.

My issue with the medical field is that there is a culture of "fixing" our mental symptoms with prescription that sometimes needs a lifetime of upkeep to maintain instead of focusing on character building or more altruistic means of spirituality to fix the base issue instead of curing the symptoms.

Also why is it okay for me to take pills everyday for a mental fix but it's not okay to try for the same fix by undergoing a psychedelic experience.

Anybody here religious or spiritual and if so how do you feel that effects your mental health.

Fair enough.

Personally I only started meds about 1,5 years into my therapy sessions. The problem I have with psychedelics is that it could trigger a whole lot of underlying mental conditions.

Though my SSRI was no joke either when I started out. I felt like absolute shite.

im trying to get better but memories of my ex bring me down again
what do

There is, but it's similar to the hierarchy of needs - you can only begin to actualize what makes you happy solitary when you've gone through good relations and friendships that fostered a healthy mental state.

Had my whole life set on joining the military, put all my eggs in one basket. Just left education, a few months away from training and I've found myself doubting whether i want to join anymore. Confused, depressed and I've got no clue what to do with my life.

Embrace the memories user. Your mind is telling you to examine the situation and grow from it. Ignoring it won't do anything but depress you.

So I'm losing weight and getting in shape slowly but steadily, but in my mind few things have changed.

On one side, I have been advised to learn to search for love and acceptance from the within, from myself. That way I will never need anyone else to do it for me. And then on the other side, everyone agrees that going out and seeking human contact so you can exchange love and affection is healthy, so what the fuck? Plus it's been so long since I was good at socializing. My skills have been numbed, so sometimes it's just my comfort zone to be alone and try to get love from myself.

Definitely a case by case basis. Good on you for going through therapy before drugs. In that case you're most likely doing the right thing. The problem comes when people freak out, go to a Dr about it, and then instead of therapy they jump into drugs.

Checked and truth.

DOUBT

You're about to put yourself into an extremely uncomfortable situation user it's natural that you're in a state of doubt. Your mission is to kill that doubt and gain confidence in your decision, however you might not succeed in this until you gain hindsight.

Doubt can be crippling user as I'm sure you feel. Doubt is something that might never go away, but it's something that you can get increasingly effective in dealing with. Being sucsessful in defeating doubt can be a decent indicator of happiness.

Im in the same boat. I recommend CBT exercises where when you catch yourself thinking about her, you tell yourself something related (and that is positive about yourself) that diffuses the thought.

If you think about how much you miss her, remind yourself that your relationship was flawed enough that the two of your split up. Remind yourself that you can be perfectly happy on your own. Think about all the time you have to focus on improving and taking care of yourself.

I think that a lot of people on this board are suffering from this problem. It is important to realize that thinking about your ex is normal, and trying to just shove her out of your head will only make it worse. It is better to accept that you are going to think about her, and train yourself to focus on all the benefits and freedoms you have gained by not being with her anymore.

I am still very sad. I feel shitty right now. I wish someone would come and give me a hug, because I feel so lonely. But I remind myself that I have homework to do, that I have a yoga club I'm going to attend on thursday morning after I run, that I have homework to do, and that I need to find a job.

The shittiest thing to hear is that it takes time, but that's the truth. Don't beat yourself up for it when you think about her months later. Or even a random flashback in a year or two from now. You are gonna be fine before you know it, and worrying about feeling better NOW will only make you feel worse.

This user is onto it
One way to find internal love is to use relationships to find what you value, so it can be kind of a catch 22.

>being alone is in my comfort zone

Important realization here user. Progress comes from being outside your comfort zone so find a way to push yours.

didnt mean to write homework twice

There is a lot of wisdom and truth in your experience user, thanks for sharing.

You felt no effects from it? Or you didn't come to any mindblowing realizations?

Because it's pretty common to get bunk psychedelics.

I think I'm so much better than everyone that I'm starting to hate myself for it

EGO

You'll do well to figure out a way to kill your ego. Your mind is already trying to lead you there (self-hate). Spirituality, meditation, psychedelics, philosophy ect.

Oh man Iove these threads. Check this out.

> gets kicked out of the military for being a fat fuck
> gets an honorable discharge so I can use my benefits to go to school
> "honorable"
> mfw
> goes to school and gets raped by the intro math 120 class
>realizes school isn't for me
> now is staying with old crush who wants nothing to do with me other than being friends
> pepe.jpg
> currently working a customer service job wondering when I'll get fired
> waiting for the moment when I build up the balls to an hero
> waiting for the lease on the apartment to end so I can do it

The only time I feel I get a moment of peace in my mind is when I'm doing a hard workout and a little bit afterwards. Even then its not always enough.

I didnt come to any mindblowing realizations, I just tripped my balls off for about 4 hours laughing at everything and getting seriously vivid imagination.

Is there anything in your life that you genuinely enjoy?

>Moved to bullshit third world country a few years go
>Always wanted a family
>TFW no GF is getting to me
>Can't get anywhere dating locals because of bullshit cameljockey culture
>Can't leave bullshit country because of emotional and financial investment in the business I started (with a partner, who I don't want to let down)
>Nothing to do here apart from work

I'm antisocial as fuck, to the point where it undermines all my potential, capacities and pursuits. Note, it's not anxiety, I can get along great with people, I'm quite the diplomat even and have no trouble at all making contact or anything like that. It's just being around people fucking drains me incredibly fast and for every consecutive day I'm around people I need 1 day of complete solitude to recharge, and it ramps up the longer this goes on.

After a few months of this things start to slip through the cracks and I'm running on fumes, another couple of months later and people ask me to take a few weeks off.

I think it's hyper-alertness that was normal in my childhood situation that causes it. I hate to see my interests, potential and effort be completely undermined while I can do nothing to change it, 13 years of psychiatrists and psychologists so far have yielded nothing but maintenance.

I resort to overemphasizing 'being strong' in all things as the most primary thing of importance, even though I get nowhere.

Intimacy/relationships are all but completely undermined as well by virtue of being antisocial.

All paths to fulfillment and growth are blocked, I make the best of things by having fun at least but it's all hollow and fleeting.

What do if the love of your life labels you as her ex, although you were never in a serious relationship with her?
How can i lift these feels of unacknowledged love away? Will 3 heavy ass ave squats do it?

how ware they bringing you down bruv?
goggle it
same same

But you had some sort of relationship obviously. What did you do to fuck it up?

Also, regardless of all this, you can't rely on others for happiness. You're setting yourself up for pain. You need to be happy as you before you can be happy as we.

Fun fact: all you whiny bitch ass niggers crying 'bout some gurl you've lost

Go suck a dick, she either wants you or she doesn't, deal with it.

Now go suck a fat chode you sonsofbitches.

Christ almighty, this sure is /r9k/ all over

Seek not happiness, but peace.

This a /mhg/ what the fuck do you expect? Most of us are males 18-24, of course women are going problems for a portion of us.

Maybe you have never had a serious relationship with a female and had it end before you were ready and therefore can't sympathize. But you're showing a concerning lack of emphathy.

I'm not sure if i did fuck it up by doing something user.

I am happy with myself, i wanted to share that with her.

Hey guys,

I don't really have much to say today cos I feel okay today. It still makes me glad to know that this thread exists, though.

Thanks OP.

>wanted to share that with her

Then she's probably not happy with herself. Or you're just not right for each other and it'd be better for you to focus your energies elsewhere.

i hope everyone is OK today

we're ALL gonna make it, god damnit.

>But you're showing a concerning lack of empathy.

And you are showing a concerning presence of vulnerability and weakness.

They can mean pretty much the same thing in this context senpai, but thanks for the cool pic.

Alright desu. Your negativity exudes. I feel for you amigo, don't give into the hate and frustration.

Maybe she isn't, maybe i would've helped her. I'd have to disagree on the "not right for each other" topic though user, every single time we met in person, every time we looked deep into each others eyes, there was a fire i haven't felt with any previous girl, hard to describe.
But i might just never find out how it would've been. Real shame.

Is it possible to stay friends with this girl as to try to salvage things/get her to a place where she feels happy as well?

If it's actually love you feel then patience is paramount. It's only a shame if you leave something on the table, do you know what I mean?

Cried like a bitch yesterday in bed just before sleeping.

>relying on someone else/a relationship to "fix" you
>not seeking professional help if you have the resources
>thinking you should be happy all the time
>not monitoring how you think about yourself

Plz

Why?

Some of us are on no fap, stop posting sluts

Girls

Negativity, hate and frustration?

You seem to be projecting, I expressed none of those sentiments, have you considered the possibility that empathy is a social construct that doesn't serve your own interests?

I'm enjoy fighting and I'm working to drop weight so I can participate in my first amateur match up.

>thinking you need to be happy all the time

If you use the other anons definition of happiness as "peaceful" then this is definitely possible and also preferable. It allows one to work through difficult times with relative ease.

>manage to get myself up during vacation period
>get back to uni get back to 3 people dormitory
>have autismo about sounds
>this is my 3th sleepless night because one roommate is snoring
>in this tempo im going to suice in a week-two

Well, the possibility is there yes

I know what you mean user and all i can say is that i fully know i could love that girl truly, from deep down my heart and even more, if she would just let me show her that i'm not just some guy who's using her for texting or whatever she might think i am.

i'm miserable because i can't achieve what i want in life to matter how hard i try
>i won't ever be really big (average genes for building muscle and 5'7)
>i'm not ugly but neither am i handsome
>not confident with grrrls
>not that smart
i feel so inferior to all these alpha males and im sad that i can only look up to them as i have no option on becoming one

my issues run deep. im working atm but am always tired and dont meet that many people via work. everything just feels so heavy.

Hopefully forever. If you love her you'd let her find someone that won't cheat.

Following this girl on Snapchat was a mistake.

How is therapy supposed to help? I've been seeing therapists for years and haven't gotten anything out of it.

Whats her snapchat?

sandra.prikker

I lost a ton of weight and I'm told I look good now but sometimes when I see pics of fatties I feel like I'm that fat still.