Salad

I came here for help. Not to get talked down to

This is low quality bait - stop feeding this retard . If he really is 315 hes done enough of that himself

~sage

Stay fat then faggot. Read the fucking sticky.

Fuck you. If you want help, read the sticky. Beyond that, you don't get to come on here as a 315 pound whale that gets short with us.

Nobody gives a shit about you, you stupid fat fuck. Lose weight if you want, otherwise fuck off and die of a heart attack at 35.

We aren't here to take care of you, you fucking obese mongrel infant.

>replying seriously to obvious bait

>I'm going to start eating more food
>I'm going to start taking in extra calories

You're not going to make it.

Please read the sticky and calculate your TDEE - 500 and count your salad in with your daily calories, then you'll know.

Stop eating for a week guaranteed weight loss

so much for your support guys

You're a lost cause mate.

I'd suggest either killing yourself before you come to the realisation that you're going to die alone or read the fucking sticky. Your choice...

Another friendly fuck you. If you want to lose weight, read the sticky, and it'll tell you to do shit like is describing. That is our gift to you. That is us being friendly and helpful, the sticky, the archive of information we've condensed for newfriends like you. You coming on here and making a thread that pushes actual, legitimate threads off of Veeky Forums, and then taking an attitude with us, that's not acceptable and we'll call you out everytime. Read the sticky and don't make another garbage thread that the sticky covers ever again. And if/when you do. you can expect the same warm welcome.

You have to eat it before the meal retard
That way it fills you up and you eat less of the calorie dense stuff

salads dont make u lose weight u fucking idiot. you must be so fat your body didnt have anywhere else to store your fat except your brain. i cant believe u fukken think that eating more shit after a meal will help u lose weight holy fucking shit ur so beyond help that u will probably lose ur feet to diabetes and then die becuase u cant walk to your fridge and stuff poparts and icecream + your fucking salad down ur throat.

We all die alone.

We do if we think that way

it's the "I'll just drink a coke zero and then I can whatever I want!" fat people logic. They feel a morbid pleasure when eating so they just can't close their mouths. they are very lazy too

Not enough info.

You need to know two things:

1. How many calories total you eat in a day
2. How many calories total you burn in a day

Until you can answer these two things, there is no way to know IF you will lose any weight at all, or how long it might take.

Support is not spoon feeding which is what you are actually asking for. The answers to both of your questions is to read the sticky and do a little work to calculate what you need to be eating in a day to lose weight. That is the first actual step to dieting intelligently and safely. But before that is to realize that no one will do this research and calculating for you unles you are paying them.

Also a helpful hint for Veeky Forums is that there is almost always a 'questions that don't deserve their own thread' thread. This sort of thing belongs there but they still won't spoon-feed you if you haven't at least read and followed the sticky. No one here will.

if your not here to support people then what the hell kind of board is this

read the sticky. stop making excuses. go away.

Holy shit go fuck yourself then. We've given you all the resources you need to take back your fat fuck of a life. The sticky, and actually spelled it out. We've given that to you free of charge, as a goodwill gesture. You've paid us NOTHING, given us shit, and acted like you're entitled to us spoonfeeding you a diet plan. We're not your paid nutritionist. If you want a nutritionist working for you, go pay for one. I hope you have a bad day you pretentious asshole.

You are mistaking 'support' for 'doing the work for you'. Part of 'helping and supporting' you is to help you learn that you MUST help yourself and that until you do (using the help and support already provided in the sticky) then no one wants to mess with you further.
Of course you can sit here and keep crying 'no one helps me' if that's your preference...or you can suck it up and go follow the sticky and actually get started by your next mealtime.

STICKY
T
I
C
K
Y

If all you're doing is adding a salad to your meals, you're gonna gain even more weight dumbass.

Replace that meal shawty. best not be talking down on the greats.

OP, explain why eating a salad after a meal would help with weight loss. I'm curious about your reasoning.

Eat the salad and drink water first so you feel fuller and eat less afterwards.

EAT WELL BALANCE LIKE THIS. Op i believe u.

>that much bread
>that rank dry ass chicken
>that shit in the top right

No thanks user

^^

why not like the pumpkin? It is very high in vitamin a.

Protein is good but bread and pumpkin give too much carb together. Replace all but one slice of bread with mixed green salad.

^scared of carbs

This in a salad/weight loss thread. It's an ok bulking meal but not good at all for cutting.

OP you have to kickstart your metabolism, eat twice as much as you normally do and then add a salad after that so your body knows your goals of being healthy, it'll shed pounds like water after that. Expect to lose 5-10 pounds a week

im pretentious?

so far you lot have only been rude. youve made no attempt to help me. what a useless board. it may as be deleted to save server resources

read the sticky you fat retarded shit

also troll thread but you got me to reply so 7/10

Have fun with that fatty

Dude, salad is full of carbs you dumbass.

The sticky is there to help you help yourself BEFORE you ask support on the board.

Answers: you will lose the amount you eat in calorie deficit according to your TDEE - (calorie deficit)
You will lose it as fast as (subtract energy expended from energy taken in x per week).
Every 3500 calorie deficit = 1 pound lost.

Learn to calculate these (surprise) in the sticky.
Start with an accurate weight.

also just to let you know, you're going to look like shit for the rest of your life no matter how much weight you lose. Your skin is so stretched out that you'll look like a deflated bag of shit if you get down to a healthy weight. might as well kill yourself

If people lost sensibly, no more that 2 pounds a week, they minimize loose skin but I don't think they can avoid it completely. Sauna, massage and dry brushing help micro circulation and might help minimize loose skin appearance if they do them while losing.

But they look better and are more healthy at a lower weight regardless of loose skin.

Holy shit are you fucking retarded? Do you wanna stay a disgusting, fat 300 pound loser the rest of your life?

I've always been a picky eater, what food can replace a meal instead of salad?

your an asshole and you only posted in this thread to put me down and give yourself a sense of superiority. if your not gonna try and help me you should get lost

I love that a troll thread got this many responses lol.

This is either good bait, or he legitimately thinks that salad is some type of super fat-burner.

Salads have calories, work out for health, eat less calories for less fat.

I'm not sure which is worse.

Any non-starchy veggie or veggie combo that isn't drowned in butter or fatty sauce. Trying to get over being picky works too.

The thing is, there is nothing magical about the act of eating a salad. It can't negate already eaten shit.

However your idea will work if you instead eat the salad before every meal. Eat a huge salad with just a dab of olive oil and vinegar for dressing before each meal and you'll be losing weight in no time. And I really mean HUGE, like think of the pizza you ate last time, eat two of thous but as salad.

So your fat and a manlet. Guess that explains the learning dizability

What is cosmetic surgery?

>im gonna start eating salad after every meal. how much weight will i lose?
none
I hope you're a troll

The scars look nearly as bad. On arms especially.

If your surgeon is shit and you don't take care of it afterwards
Sometimes it's acceptable when you get to such a point like

everyone's a picky eater until they eat their most avoided foods. as a kid i detested salad but liked some greens because i had them often, but now i can stomach most things, and like plenty more.
also try expanding to other salad fillings, like replacing iceberg lettuce for cos. i can't abide the bitterness of an iceberg after having cos for this long. also peppers and tomatoes are generally agreeable with anyone, so stuff yourself with them. love me some red peppers.

Don't listen to these dyels op. Salads are what we call "negative calories" in the fitness community. Basically the more salad you eat, the more weight you lose. If you eat a big tub of ice cream and then an equally big tub of salad right after, they cancel each other out! Trust me I'm a fitness trainer.

So eating more to lose weight? seems legit.

not unhealthy food. salad

kys OP guaranteed weigh loss will ensue

Are you fucking 12?
They're telling you what to do. Replace your fat cunt meal for that salad. Eating a meal and then a salad just means you're eating more and you're going to stay fat.

You might as well just eat the salad and have one of your regular meals a day, or two meals every two days.
Make sure the salad has a large variety of legumes to maximize nutrition.

pls be b8
also this salad is on point

a day without eating proper food is NOT a good advice to give with anyone. your playing with lives if you think thats safe for everyone