Tinder help

"you trying to get the pipe or nah?"

"Pics or gtfo"

"I'm more of a dog guy desu"

Just try to be immature (if you aren't already like I am) it's worked for me so far

No hope, move on bruh

You idiot, "hurdur cat = pussy" is one of the least tasteful and most basic ass jokes ive ever heard, like you're the fuccboi in class everyone wants to punch. Just carry convos like normal and be an opportunist don't jump at the first joke that comes to your head, think.

How to:
>Open with semi-flirtatious quip that will make her smile (but not creepy or overtly sexual)
>Ask how she's doin'
>Ask another question based on the response she gives
>Follow up with bantz to make her forcefully push air out of her nose
>do this for about 3 times
>Tell her she seems interesting and fun (she actually doesn't, but you do) and offer to schedule a date
>pick a time and place, and ask if that works for her

Just got back from tinder date

>be me
>19 yr old kissless virgin
>Take tinder girl to mall
>Ask if her hands are cold
>Hold hands
>Kiss her good night
>Make out with her
>Feel her tits
>Rub her pussy
>Put her hand on my dick and she licks and jerks off
>I cum buckets

Fuck yeah. First time making out a chicj, now I'm just a virgin. Next time we will have sex tho. I've finally made it brahs

wish I could have that greenteckst story

I thought it was pretty funny. She should've either just not responded or shut you down in a playful way, instead she just acted like a frigid bitch. She seems like the fake prude type that pretends she's effectively asexual until you charm her, so she can't take the bantz.

The trick is to settle for less. Go on tinder and just get with a girl who is less attractive than you. You'll feel a huge weight off your shoulders.

Waiwaiwait this wasn't all in the mall. More detailed story pl0x

That was funny OP. She is just playing the good girl but she likes how you are a bit dirty. Tell her you two are going on a date and give her a time and place.

"Maybe I can meet yours"

Do it

Congrats lad! Wasn't so hard after all, was it?

Congrats! From now on, they will come in numbers, be prepared and fuck everything you can!
Do not ever fall in love, make the other fall in love with you and take decisions.

sure

>be me, kissless virgin
>hop on tinder
>match with 7/10 chick, she messages first
>talk a little bit, she's mad that I take long to respond so I give her my number. add her on snapchat. ask her if she wants to go to a local bakery/sandwich store in her city
>pick her up, we get sandwiches, it's awkward but w.e
>there's a mall down the block so we decide to go
>go several clothing stores and shop a bit
>we stop by water fountain to watch the fountain show
>walking back to car, ask her if her hands are cold
>"not really"
>"let me feel them"
>grab her hand and she laughs
>we walk to car holding hands
>drive her back to her parents place, its dark outside
>don't know what to say when we park, ask her if she wants a goodnight kiss
>"haha not on the first date... its so... awkward"
>pucker up my lips teasingly and lean close to her
>"come on, I'll feel bad if I don't at least get a kiss! just close your eyes"
>"ok not on the lips though"
>kiss her on cheek
>she laughs and closes the door
>kiss her on lips
>slide tongue in
>we recline our chairs and I start feeling her tits while making out with her
>ask if she wants a massage
>start on her back, reach around and grab her tits
>"that's not a massage!"
>start feeling beneath bra
>"not under!"
>start feeling her leg
>work way to pussy but it takes like 20 minutes to reach it because she keeps blocking it
>eventually I kiss her again and start rubbing her pussy over her pants
>put her hand on my dick
>unzip her pants and give her the finger
>first time feeling inside a pussy, it feels so weird and moist and squishy
>she feels my dick over my pants, I unzip it, she feels it over my boxers, then I whip my dick out and she starts jerking me off. she licks it a bit for moisture but it's still pretty dry
>get lotion I have in my glove compartment for some reason, she jerks my off with that. I literally cum the most I have since the first time I jerked off
>drop her off and go home

FUUUUUUUUUUARK BRO GOOD JOB

>get my lotion
kek

nice

>I literally cum the most I have since the first time I jerked off

What? when did you jerk for the first time off?
I jerked the first time with 10 and i didn't cum nothing! only tranparent precum came out...

Yes, because now she will show that to her friends for totally kek.

kys degenerate

>>work way to pussy but it takes like 20 minutes to reach it because she keeps blocking it
I would legit give up that sounds like way too much effort.

hey man I'm proud of you and all, just remember she's just another girl. Just because she's the first girl you kissed doesn't mean she's the love of your life. So definitely enjoy it now when it lasts, and if it fades out don't be sad but be happy it happened and move on.

Proud of you user

"You tryna get da pipe or nah"?

1st real date since breaking up with my ex tonight

she's nervous and awkward as fuck, even over texting, but was miring my gains and my beard hard

how to not fuck this up?

the only choice

Go to a place you're comfortable at.

shes a keeper son

the gym or sitting in my flat in my boxers playing old school runescape aren't great date options

ESCALATE!!! means you are going to tuch her and try at least to kiss her!!!

Fucking cutfags when will they learn