Has a girl ever spilled her spaghetti for you?

I'm ottermode at best and I still manage.
But when it comes to girls its alla bout quantity.
If you meet x amount girls on a regular basis, sooner of later you'll find one that falls for you.

I was talking to a girl once and she just couldnt stop smiling. I asked her why she was smiling and she was like 'Y-you want me to cry?' While smiling again.

But that was when I was dyel.

Nowadays they just touch my abs and go 'ooooh'

>Go pickup my girl who's waiting for me at a starbucks near the train station
>walk in
>sit with her
>group of girls (6-7) next to us
gf says they were so obnoxiously loud then shut up and kept staring at me as soon as I walked in and sat down. lel. making it.
>tfw 6'3 on test and lean for dat dere jawline

>walking home from work at night
>car pulls up beside me, starts driving slowly
>about to get jumped oh shit
>window rolls down, middle-aged woman inside, decent looking for her age but only about a 6
>"Y-you have a n-nice body"
>before I can answer, the window shoots up and the petal hits the metal
>feels good man

>competing in a debate tournament
>crush this team incl. a tiny little girl, like a 5 maybe (probably higher if you're a pedo or a weeb)
>adds me on FB
>I'm nice to her but not really interested - just answering her questions, not really doing anything to keep the conversation going
>"Want to meet me after work this week?"
>"No thanks"
>"How about next week then?"
>That's when I left her on read.

>girl asks me out
>say no
>she tries again an hour later
>still no
>third time's the charm right!?
>still no
>she waits till I'm looking the other way and grabs my face and starts trying to make out with me
>ew, definitely still no

should have called the popos and pressed charges desu

She was ugly.
If she wasnt you are a faggot.

Not sure if this counts
>Talking to girl at work who usually wears load of makeup
>Notice she has none on but doesn't look bad actually
>Tell her I see she's not wearing any and tell her she looks nice without it
>She smiles, looks down, and turns fucking red
>Ask her if she's ok, and she says "don't look at me" and walks away smiling

I got all red reading it, faggot.

Then it worked as intended ;)

A few times but then I just spill spaghetti too and can't do anything about it

Are you okay?

When I still worked at a bar a girl who I just gave some shots told my coworker I was cute then quite literally bolted to the door. She later added me on FB and we talked a bit but I was dating someone else at the time. Still feel kind of bad for letting the conversations bleed out so she would stop talking to me.
Now I haven't kissed anyone for over 8 months and I'm wondering why I ignored a legit 8/10

You consider this ego boosting? lolz

>Couple of years ago in HS
>Lifting for a year or so
>Made some visible gains, but still an autistic self counscious shy kid inside
>Girl from my class who is 3 years older than me (about 6' tall, cute face, not a goddess or thick ass but overall nice body and whirly brunette hair) starts noticing and is always complimenting and touching my chest and arms
>I just brush it off all the time and say stupid shit like 'h-ha ha yeah i workout a bit'
>She literally asked me if I would date her after she broke up with her boyfriend
>I answered 'i don't know' and went away
>Got to a point where she asked me when I was going to her house (she was sharing an apartment with two of her friends)
>Only realise she wanted to fuck my brains out after I finish HS
>tfw too late to go back
>tfw never spoke to her ever since and she now has a skinnyfag boyfriend who plays LoL

Got another one I need to take off my chest

>hanging around on normiebook
>Add a girl who went to the same schools, lives in the same town and is the same age as I am just because
>Start talking with each other and notice we have a lot in common
>Set up a date, usual meme date of going to the movies and having dinner
>During the date always spilling my shit all over the place but to my luck she just finds it funny and cute
>After the date as I'm driving us back home she is always touching my arms because I was unintentionally showing off my tricep gains by maneuvering with the car's transmition
>Fast forward a little bit
> Stopped near her house
>I end up also touching her first on her arms, then start to lose some shyness and start touching her waist
>She starts moving my hands to her boobs and ass as she's touching my dick
>ohgodthisisreallyhappening.exif
>She asks if I wanna go to her house
>Just say yeah and we both go
>Enter her house
>Everything really clean and tidy, really good smelling, enough for me to get impressed
>Fast forward a bit after some foreplay
>Both naked in her bed with her on top of me
>She awkwardly puts a condom on my dick
>Only at this moment she tells me she's never done this before and she's a virgin
>tfw I am too to no ones surprise
>Have the most awkward sex I have ever had (also the only one I ever had) as she's riding my penor making a mix of pain/pleasure sounds
>After about 2 minutes pull out and she finishes me off with a handjob
>Next morning wake up get dressed and go back home
>Keep dating her a few weeks after that but notice she's getting distant
>Ends up leaving me and we never talk to eachother again

>tfw got used to take some girls virginity
>tfw not a virgin anymore but feel like one
>tfw I'm a virgin who had sex

At the end of the night ur still a faggot. Literally

Fuck i kekked.

But dont worry brah my first time was like that too

Is it ok now to go to a prostitute?

The security guard at the local mall started talking about my calves and how nice it was that she got to see my and my mates hairy calves all winter since we always wear shorts.

idk if it counts, but it was a bit awkward

Only if X>0

Yes. She was the only girl that ever has been interested in me. But i was a autist and ignored her. I still think about her

There is one girl who has had a crush on me for several years. I could message her right now and ask her to become my girlfriend and she would gladly say yes. Every time we've talked she's been unbelievably giggly, and she's not like around other guys, though she is a bit shy and quiet. Too bad she is a liberal multiculturalist.

>:(
?

ITT : Things that never happened

They are sluts, noone gives a fuck. Just go, fuck em, and pay em.

>here is one girl who has had a crush on me for several years. I could message her right now and ask her to become my girlfriend and she would gladly say yes.
>Too bad she is a liberal multiculturalist.
Redpill her then.

>Be 14
>High school break time
>Walking around in silent, listening to music with my hoodie on and my skullcrasher headphones
>Le dark, mystery agnsty teen boy

>Two females approach me
>One is hot, the other is above average
>Hot girl asks me if I have a girlfriend
>Above average won't stop giggling, face full blushed

>I say No

>Hot girl says:, oh my friend doesn't either!

>I say: but what about you? Do you have a boyfriend?
>Hot girl laughs ''Yes, I do''
>Above average looks sad now, goes away without saying anything

>They both leave

>Keep walking

Alpha as fuk

Nah, it's not worth the trouble. She's not the kind of girl I'd like to date or marry, so I'm not going to start any relationship with her. I do have my sights on a girl that's remarkably more beautiful, smart and interesting. She's younger, too, and the process of redpilling will be easier with her, I'd wager.

>high school
>friend tells me girl x likes me
>I say ok
>nothing ever comes of it
>enjoy foreveralone life 10 years later

Nice. Go for it then, good luck.

Kys redpiller

Yeah I was at a halloween party and this qt and I are talking but she's pretty androgynous so eventually I ask if she's a boy and she gets all blushy and ends up leaving kek

>I left her on read.
Are you a taconigger by any chance? I am one and this idiom is something I've only heard in Spanish.

>If she wasnt you are a faggot

>sexual assault is okay if shes pretty

betas like you need to die.

holy shit dude, you're cringelord. poor girl

>process of redpilling
Jesus Christ

got me

"don't look at me"

I'm not gay but that seems pretty fun and hilarious to do.

Yeah, I know, that's the best part

Of course it's ego-boosting to be literally the winning prize of a seduction competition between several people

Yeah. I got a hard on

I spill spaghetti more so though

I hate you.

call me

Pretty sure everyone's first time was awkward as fuck

this week, actually.

>at work, talking to customer on phone
>random skinny ginger with braces and freckles touchs my shoulder and starts asking me random-ass questions in the most akward small-talk
>so you work with so-and-so, oh wow, etc
>I'm only half paying attention, since I'm on the fucking phone
>I answer a question from the customer
>she spills the spaguetti hard, like only noticing what she's doing at that moment
>says she's sorry for bothering
>runs away like she's sonic the redheadhog

yesterday she touched my arm, said hi and ran away the same way.

If I didn't have a hotter girl giving me hugs and saying "I'm special to her", I would totally go for the weirdo ginger. I'll keep her as back-up, since I tend to fuck up everything day 1 or day 2 anyway.

How is that cringe? I gave her a compliment and she even went and told other coworkers what i said.they all said it was nice of me

Alpha

>go to a bar with friends
>meet some random students there
>talking to this one girl
>loud music starts playing so I go closer to her to speak with her
>purely platonic as I was bored
>she thinks I'm randomly going to go in for a kiss and hug straight after asking her what subjects she does
>I stare at her weirdly and she's just standing there getting ready for the kiss.
>She then runs back to her friends and insta leaves

That's about it really, can't remember others.

Ayyyee
Test and lean?
I too enjoy some purple syrup

lmao what the fuck

holy shit that one was pretty good

Guess you had to be there.. she asked me if i wanted to go smoke with her and hang out regularly. Afraid to make a move tho ..

Studied in China for a while, dem girls like whitebois. Was in a relationship tho

>at club with friends
>all my friends out dancing
>I suck at dancing, so nothanks
>girl comes up and asks me really sweetly if I wanna dance
>reply with a short 'no'
>hurries back to her friends

Probably broke her confidence, getting turned down by a manlet :^)

>be me
>need to drop something off at sisters work
>cute young blonde girl is working front desk
>hi can you tell *sisters name* her brothers here with her stuff
>*giggles*
>fair cheeks flush red
> who should I tell her is here
> I think dafuq bitch I just told you
> I suffer from short tempers
> I say her brother, my name is user
>giggles again
>okaayy
> i finish my errand and check my face for food or something in the car mirror.
>after work my sister tells me her coworker thinks I'm hot
>huh
>she's only 18 tho
> regrettably in a relationship
> would have torn that pretty young thing apart

>go to a bar in ocean city with friends last summer
>wear my lighter colored contacts
>have a pretty fun night getting super drunk and dancing
>on my way out hambeast says "omg your eyes are beautiful come dance with me"
>i say thank you and immediately direct my attention to her much hotter friend and ask if she wants to dance
>"haha sorry i have a boyfriend"
> i say so what
>she inches closer and i put my arm around her to get her away from her friends
>whisk her away and look back while her friends look in disgust/jealousy
>pic somewhat related

this is why I dont trust women. ended up getting the succ tho

Bologna*

First time's always the most awkward moment. Nobody knows what the fuck to do and all that porn isn't helping

HHHHNNNGGG WHY IS SHE SO PERFECT

lol I just need to post this story somewhere because it's so fucking degenerate. my first sex was fucking retarded
>be 15
>best friend and I are both virgins
>desperately feel the need to finally fuck some girl
>writing with random chicks in ICQ all the time
>this one girl always talking sexual
>didn't really see any pictures of her beforehand
>simply ask here if she wants to have a threesome
>ok.jpg
>wow that was easy
>friend and I meet her at mcdonalds
>she's barely a fucking 3/10
>she's quite fat and a redhead
>we're both unsure whether we should
>no way back lol
>walk with her around town
>go to some little forest
>we both take our rounds and fuck her on a fucking euro-pallet
>she doesn't even like it
>can't cum in her because she's so ugly
>fapping while my buddy keeps fucking here
>leave forest
>she gets picked up by her parents
later found out she was 12 at that time and it was her first time too or something. 7 years ago now and it's still the topkek story whenever bro and i meet

KEK

>hey bro, good to see ya
>you too man, remember that time we tried to have a 3some with a fat 12 year old girl out in the woods?
>yeah, good times. good times.

>Be in club with friend
>Friend of qt I'm hooking up with comes and says hi.
>"Ugh... hi"
>Don't know why but always disliked this girl
>She keeps trying to have a nice conversation with us
>My friend is friendly with her, but I can't stop being a total jerk
>"Why are you speaking with us? Don't you have any friends?"
>"Haha user you are so mean"
>"No, I'm serious, go to the bathroom and leave us alone, perhaps you may make a friend on the way"
>She starts getting all teary
>Starts making strong eye contact while getting closer
>Hugs me and tries to kiss me on the lips
>Pull away and laugh in her face
>"Wtf are you doing, just go away"
>Runs away humiliated

Damn dude that's harsh

She just is.

>telling to a female at workplace something about her appearance

NO NO NO stop that right fucking now, never ever ever talk to women at work about anything but work. One misinterpreted word and you're fired in a heartbeat and have no letter of recommendation to rely on.

Kek

>At work
>Traveling to a client site so dressed down a little but still look good
>Get work done
>Say goodbye to receptionist
>She obviously is miring but doesnt know what to say
>I walk out
>As I start to open the door I hear
>"I like your shirt user"
>I turn and make eye contact for 2 seconds
>I wink
>Game over

not the best story to read, but it was awesome to experience.

Not everyone lives in Murica.

This thread turned into a real
Things that never happened thread.
Look at this shit,dont you get embarrassed while making this much shit from your ass.

This is too fucked up to not be real

>> i say so what
massive cringe dude. you're disgusting
>this is why I dont trust women
because YOU are a disgusting excuse of a human being? of course someone like you would try to externalize your own shortcomings..... enjoy having a pathetic, meaningless life filled with STDs

Back in highschool I used to work at the local library. I'd occasionally see this cute ambiguously Arab girl there who I knew went to my highschool. She came up to me one day giggling uncontrollably and blushing super hard and said I was cute and asked for my number. I declined though because I was sort of involved with this other very average looking girl and was going to be graduating in a month anyway.

Average girl and I stopped talking to each other a few days later and I never saw Muslim girl at the library ever again.

thingsneverhappen

>women are property
Die Misogynistic shit lord

not him but this happens everywhere now. unless you work at a factory or something, if you're in an office environment and a chick says something to management you're fucked, no questions will be asked. Spain here.

You forgot the last part user
>I tipped my fedora on the way out.

Qué diceh loco

Surely

Yes. A super gorgeous blonde girl that I fucked behind my wife's back. She wants me to get divorced and be with her and I think I will bros.

Have you ever put up with her shit to know this is the right decision or are you basing this on your adventurous honeymoon?

That's adorable, are you gonna exploit this?

You're completely delirious

No judge is ever going to condemn you for having said to a female collegue she looks good without make-up. Even if she's your hierarchical inferior.

Penal law punishes sexual harassment, not compliments.

here with the cringe

>be little me
>Sit on a bench in the smoking area of my school
>Crush approaches, i dont realize it because im busy smoking (thats what made me cool) and talking
>Sits on my lap for whatever reason
>go "uff" like someone just put 10 tons onto my lap (she wasnt fat btw, just me being autistic)
>akward moment
>dont know what to do with my hands
>eventually get a lesson form one of my friends on how to handle girls
>its too late
>she leaves
>stay friends for another year
>leave school

She now has a boyfriend and im forever alone, probably could've had her if a wasn't a beta faggot.

thought it went without saying...

>be clapistanian TA for engineering course
>qt german girl shows up to my office hours for first time
>seems nervous, possibly not great with english
>stutters and asks for help
>look over her homework, everything is perfect except one thing
>point it out and suggest how to fix it
>she starts apologizing and fixes it
>continues verbalizing an internal monologue, runs on and on about why she did it wrong and apologizes to me again
>'haha ok you have a nice day' and send her on her way
>grade quizzes and see hers in the pile every time
>fills up the entire sides of the pages with girly internal monologues to reason her way through the problems
>almost perfect scores every time
>comes to see me about her quizzes and homework, rinse and repeat every week
>see her on my way out of the uni gym one time late at night
>she pauses, stares, and then gives me a huge smile and waves enthusiastically
HHNNNNNGGGG FUG that was cute. there are a few other qt's that show up at my office and wave to me and stuff, but she's the most entertaining

That's cute. Are you allowed as a TA to date students?

this cant be real wtf man

Only girl who's spilled spoghet for me is current gf, 7.5/10 she's got mega anxiety tho, after a month of friends/dating her spaghetti reserves began to run out and she started to get more comfortable. Am /fatfuck/ so I don't know why she had pasta pocket. Also 25% body fat gf master race.

Top kek