What does Veeky Forums do

>I made you a pizza
>y-you don't really count calories, do you, user?

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I'm bulking

Nah I don't but that pizza looks like shit

>shit pizza
>fake tits
>no benis
Fuck off

>"leaves message on your phone"
>"hey user, it's me Stacey. I'm heading out for doughnuts with my friend Maria and we wanted to know if you wanted to join us. Call me back"

I do, but we can burn off the extra calories

>"Get that filth away from me before I cut your fucking tits off you goddamn whore!"

Then I hold her at knife point and force her to pray for God's forgiveness for a few hours while she goes like "please! You don't have to do this! I promise I won't tell anyone that this ever happened!" And stuff.

>user, its me. Let's go make America great again
>we're gonna be eating so much victory you wont know what to do with yourself
>y-you don't really count electoral votes do you?

Is this you?

Eat pizza
While fingerbanging her and watching net flix
Spend the next four hours burning off the calories by turning her tiny snatch and even tinier black cherry into semen dripping and slightly bloody crime scenes.
Snuggle with her while she snores.
Watch and be deeply disappointing in the latest episode of Dragonball Super.

Them titties aren't fake. Her sister has also well endowed

would eat the pizza and her pussy after.
>too bad i will never gf

>tfw your campaign takes away your Twitter access
>tfw it takes 500 gbp to get it back, but you only have 74 gbp left

REEEEEEEEEEEEE

I don't get why this gets posted so often. That pizza had like a cups worth of oil just gathering in the middle of it when zoomed in. I'm a fat fuck but even I wouldn't eat that.

>I thought you were a fun guy, user
>how come you're just sitting there watching me have this milkshake? Why don't you get a straw and share it with me

>eating pizza on a monday
LMAO DYEL? hahaha >implying im going to waste time with a basic undisciplined bitch
im lmaoing at you so hard its basically cardio so you owe me gains whore
go make me RCB rite now

>"No"
>fug
>immediately after she's fallen asleep purge it all down the toilet and eat the bits of chicken out the toilet bowl

Waddafakk american pizza look disgusting

Ofc i dont count calories now that its bulk season, i got abit of lee way but i wouldnt accept it just because some random average chick offered
If she knew me she would probably know that i dont eat junk during certain periods and if she still offers i can just say no thanks

Goddamn autist Veeky Forums, social interaction isnt fucking hard

Which one comes with extra cheese topping?

"Usually I try to watch it, but I'm willing to make an exception this once. We'll share it and then find some way to burn it off ;P"

> Great idea user, you can help me clean my garage, while i have a date with Chad

Who is this mammary mistress?

>i mean, user can be weird sometimes
>maybe one day he will enjoy a burger with us

I'll take a slice, thanks anonette.

because id rather inspect how good u are at succ

yeah, go ahead and be come the hamplanet the government wanted you to become.
fuckwit

Bitch you know I have Celiac disease!

>It's a hot day user
>you sure you don't want just a.. lick.. of this ice cream?

That better be lactose-free

> I'm afraid of brain freeze

>oh come on. just have one
>its from mexico and made with real sugar
>you need to live a little

>its from mexico
Bitch, you need to go back to mexico

Maybe if you would stop using my straw I would join you

Stupid roasties always playing with me REEEE

instagram.com/emilyhelenbarry/?hl=en

>AAAAAAAAAHAHA
where the fuck is coke not made of real sugar?
have fun americunt

>Been clean bulking on nothing but Chicken, red rice, soy, milk, veggies, and fruits for months now with no cheats...

Yes I'll take a couple of slices thanks!

The idea is that American bottled Coke is sweetened with corn syrup and that Mexican bottled Coke is made with cane sugar...

Never did a comparison so I wouldn't know the difference personally...

i know i know, thats why im saying enjoy your obesity ameridudes

Sheeeeeeiiit

I will eat your pizza if you let me put my penis in your vagina, since that's obviously the only point to any of this shit anyway.

>Look at phone
>I don't know a Stacey
>Fucking PPI

This is actually perfect for cutting

>hey babe, want to share some fries and a shake?
>as a woman does while sharing food, you have a fry and THAT FIRST SIP, and then she eats all of it
>continue till she is either thicc or fat
>dump her because she'll inevitably cheat on you

10/10 strategy for stubborn fat loss

>went to birthday party today
>free pizza and beer
>eat in moderation, but no way to calculate calories for the pizza
>afraid to eat anything else for the rest of the day

I lift for girls. The whole point of lifting is to get girls. I'd be fucking retarded to blow my chance with a girl over refusing some pizza.

>The whole point of lifting is to get girls

found the loser

10/10 Advice. I'm glad I come to fit

no you slut i'm on a cut.

How do you let it get this far without her knowing? Lay that shit all out on the table early so she knows what matters to you. If she can't go for that then you move on and find someone who isn't a gains goblin

>lifting for girls

this is the worst weightlifting meme

>be me
>do this every weekend last semester
>go 24 hours only consuming quesadillas and gin and tonics
not like i wanted gains anyway

Get out of here fatty

these threads are always pure cringe, OP we all know youre a virgin

>>hey my baby, let's eat some now and I'll finish the rest tomorrow alright? Thank you so much for cooking for me you're an angel

Grab her waist and start canoodling her and she'll forget about that garbage ass pizza

Bitch please. Trying to tempt me with that shitty looking, minimally topped, party-style cut, burnt crust reject of a pizza. Get some toppings, some better ingredients, a better recipe, and try again.
4/10 - still better than Papa John's