ITT : times working out regularly saved your ass

>Piss yourself at work
>Make a thread about it

Shit like this is why I keep coming here

>doing shit in ICU
>patient crashes
>start CPR
>alternate with another guy for a full 30 minutes of CPR

for reference, CPR is done at 100 pumps a minute for 2 minutes, you have to lock your arms and put your full bodyweight into each compression in order to keep adequate bloodflow going to the brain.

on average its advised that if there are enough staff on hand to swap out after doing 2 sets (4 minutes, 400 pumps). however there was not enough so we ended up alternating sets to keep this guy alive.

we would know that our compressions were deep enough when the arterial blood pressure was below 80, which we could see because he had a arterial cathether in.

so we literally had to keep going otherwise he would die. never have i ever been so glad to lift

So did she live or what? 30 minutes of CPR is a long fucking time

Worked on a cattle station for a while which included a lot of heavy lifting, so being fit helped.

Being big also seems to give me more authority when in office jobs. I suppose it just makes me more imposing

no =( made it depressing as hell

not of our fault though. eventually the consultant called it

i found our that at one point my compressions were so hard that the patient actually got a 120 systolic blood pressure (thats normal range).

sometimes there's only so much you can do for a patient.
still i wouldnt have wanted to be the one to tell the family.

didn't really save my ass, but I reckon it's still worth mentioning
>at home, taking a shit
>ohfuckmygains.png
>doorbell rings
>whatever, still gotta poop, probably just the mailman anyway
>a minute later, sounds like someone's breaking in
>oh fuck no mate
>speedwipe once, pull up underpants, prepare for a fight
>it's two scrawny dyel sandniggers, barely out of high school, apparently just managed to break the cylinder and get in only a few seconds ago
>i'm 5'9 210 lbs, in my underpants, smell like a thousand devils diarrhea'd into a pot and let it boil for a few hours, and am visibly pissed off
>one of them seems scared as shit and really wants to run away, the other pulls a knife
>nah
>pick up a (blunt) katana that a weeb friend gifted me and was sitting on a shelf for years
>hear "something allah somethingsomething" and they run the fuck away
>shout after them "if i see you again I'll make fucking sushi out of you"
dyels lol

is this real?

You could actually keep a patient alive for 30min just pumping his heart?

You can keep em alive for 30 years if you hook em up to a machine that does it for em.

yes. everybody only requires 2 things to live:

oxygen and circulation.

thats why CPR is drilled into basic life support. because effective chest compressions preserve blood flow to the important organs, and effective ventillation allows for adequate gas exchange in the lungs.

its 30 compressions to 2 breaths at a rate of 100 compressions per minute (staying alive, or another one bites the dust, for the correct BPM)

there has been stories of successful CPR being performed for up to 45 minutes as far as i'm aware.

usually they call it after about 6-10 cycles depending on the patient condition, as by the 6th cycle, maximal medical therapy has already been administered (adrenaline + amiodarone, depending on the rhythm strip)

but this patient kept fluctuating hence why it went for so long.

i'd sweat through my shirt by the end of it, same for the other guy. lots of hot nurses mirin afterwards though!

>*Unsheathes katana*
>*Teleports behind sandniggers*
>Heh, nothing personal kid
>*Slits throat*

Pic related?

Not really bro not really

Not that im trying to correct you because you clearly have more knowledge in this field, but I thought it was 15 compressions and 2 breaths?

delirious w fever rn but had a good laugh

I have zero medical training but I am absolutely certain it's 30.

Wow you sure told him you uppity bitch

100% it entirely depends where you live + your hospital routines/regulations.

I'm a murse studying med in Adelaide and I casual shift around the city. One hospital policy is 15/2 and another is 30/2

Thanks Ronald.
I'm loving it! ™

actual MD here

it used to be 15:2 years ago
but studies showed that a rate of 30:2 has better outcome because circulation does not get interrupted so often.

When youre doing CPR alone (e.g. you being the first responder) and untrained the guidelines go so far to neglect ventilating completely and only do chest compression, because the airflow provided by compression and expansion of the chest is enough for sufficient oxygen levels,

>Yesterday
>Wake up early morning in the most cucked country in the world
>Trump is at a 95% chance to win
>Head to uni
>Crying socialists everywhere
>Special event being held as "A reminder to everyone´s equal value in light of recent events"
>Get full on delicious salt just from passing the room
>Teacher mumbles something about a sad day and "try to focus anyways"
>Class sitting silent staring at their phones, screens going increasingly red
>Hushed comments, one girl looks like she´s about to cry
>Class over
>Check phone
>279.
>Go home
>Never come down.mp3
>Pour a glass of that scotch I got for my birthday
>Sip and sit back at my computer, wallow in the tears of SJW´s, crybabies and virtuesignaling betas
>Hit lmao3plaet bench for a double later that evening
>Entire workout is joy and euhopria instead of the usual anger n focus
>See a 140 lbs guy with a MAGA-shirt in the gym, walking around as if he wasnt even a manlet
>GF comes home late from work at homecare
>Tells me about this old man who told her nose-ring-feminist coworker that "You can remove taht crap, your bullshit died today"
>Fall asleep that night with a grin
>There is hope

I used to be a socalist beta before I found lifting and improved my mindset. I´m endlessly happy I recovered and could experience this day. God bless you murica, democracy wins.

Absolutely true facts. My point was you have to adjust your practice depending on the guidelines of the facility you are working under hence why the two people before are confused about compression/breaths.

This. Socialism is the ideology of the weak. Once you realize the strength your own body can possess, you will leave the mindset of gibsmedat behind and adopt the mindset of workforit

>"You can remove taht crap, your bullshit died today"

Amazing

why didnt you wash them in the sink to get rid of the smell?

> "You can remove taht crap, your bullshit died today"

Tfw non socialist who is scared of the damage trump will do to the environment.

What the fuck would I have even voted for?

I once pissed through the gap between the ceramic rim and the plastic seat. Went all over my boxers/trousers. Fortunately I was at home though. Happens to us all.

Yeah, I've pissed through that gap before. Never had my dick shrink so much it blasts over the seat though.

Noice

I'm an archaeologist and we can literally tell what climates of the past looked like based on oxygen isotopes we find in ice from ancient winds. This planet has already gone through phases of being hotter and colder and survived alteration of it's rotational axis and huge tectonic plate shifts. It'll fix itself eventually.

Yeah but did the species alive at the time also survive?

I really like parrots and little bugs and shit.

Nope, they had to evolve and a lot of them disappeared

:^(

same, happened to my father too.
>father in toilet
>hear a soft 'mother'
>my mother answers
>'im old now'
>mother: why?
>'I just wet my pants'
mother laughing while dad goes shower

I dont know why you dont get longer toilets for people who arnt dicklets, i mean you get those broader ones for fat people.

I saved some one else's life if that counts.
> Skiing in the glades
> hear some screaming up ahead
> See a kid with his leg caught under a fallen tree
> Manage to move the tree enough to free his leg
> Leg is broken
>fireman carry the kid and eventually get out of the woods

that's bullshit, but I believe it

happened to me as well
>finished fapping
>half boner
>going to piss
>the little fellow decided to lift when i pissed
>fml when there was piss all over the floor

I'm assuming it turned into a chode/mangina of sorts so the piss stream went directly horizontal as opposed to the inside of the toilet bowl.

nice delusions, friend!

the planet is stronger than any human meddling
fear not for the environment
but the comfort of man in the face of that transforming landscape
are you strong enough?

something really similar happened to me two years ago
>was living on my grand parents place after they died
>big old house
>i was showering
>6'0 198lbs (right after second cycle, so i was #aesthetic as fuck
>leave bathroom wearing only my towel and head to kitchen only
>some old hatchets and bow and arrows on wall because my grandpa loved indian culture for some reason
>some skinny black dude jumps over my fence and get on my lawn
>i see him and grab the first thing i see, a hatchet and a bow and one arrow
>he opened my door and enters holding a poket knife
>i was wet, wearing only a towel holding a tiny axe and a bow
>i screamed "what the fuck are you doing here"
>hold axe up and my towel fell down
>the dude looked surprised and scared and he left
>Called the cops, told what happened and they went after the dude

So have you used the line?

>Underevolved warmongering people in the warmer climates gets shrekt
>The civilization in the northern countries survive and rebuild

Is this how we finally have world peace?

Not him, but what's that?

>dicklet problems

>tfw carried a fridge for my senpai while moving
>dad who was a marine instructor visibly impressed
>work in construction with big guys that do 60 hour shifts
>they say I'm a big guy and would want to mess with me and comment on my grip being strong

>would want to mess with me
Nohomo?

Fuck dude 30 minutes with a partner is brutal
Makes me realize how much I take the Lucas for granted on the ambulance

nope, this is how we die

>carbon builds up
>hehehe look at those sand people baking
>tfw you realise there's a time lag between turning up carbon and resulting heat

AHA guidelines are 30 compressions then 2 breaths or 100 compressions per minutes with 10 breaths per minute in intubated patients.

Those numbers are subject to change, evidence is showing we're placing too much of an emphasis on breaths over compressions. Many places are moving over to compressions only CPR for the first 10 or so minutes and seeing great results

topkek
happened to me too but luckily I just pissed infront of the toilet

>tfw dick only 7"
>never ever had such problems

It only touches the inside of the toilet, which makes me hold it in the right position.

Are you an archiologist, because I have a large bone for you to examine.

>lurk moar pls

>"what the fuck are you doing here"
Couldn't come up with anything better?
>"Ding dong motherfucker"

That's the ratio for children. 30-2 is universally accepted for adults.

been there

thinking about this makes me shiver, can u imagine what ur dick is exposed to?

If this is real then good job

Nothing I've ever had problems from. Muh dick is bigger than germs.

lol Dicklet.

Yeah It's pretty gross. The only thing worse is fucked up toilets where the water is too high. You sit to take a shit and dip your cock in ice cold toilet water.

>spend money on me
Sexism at it's finest

> shitposting is posting while shitting

...

...

not exactly.

current guidelines are 30:2 for sure.

i am not aware of any hospitals in adelaide that still operate under the 15:2. is it private?

ya trumps ideology that panders to retarded hillbillies who couldn't work anywhere besides afactory is like totally for the strong, man

I was taught 30:1 if solo and15:1 if you have someone ventilating during emt. Has anyone else been taught this?

Crap 30:2 and 15:2. Sorry. Not 1.

Bernie supporter spotted

Hang in there brah, I'm with you. (Psych nurse here) medical field feels are some seriously deep shit.

Im not even american but i am so proud of all of us today

...

what country are you in and what medical organizaation offered up the recommendation?

here in australia adults is 30:2. nothing if you're soloing.

its gotten to the point where i accept it as part of the cycle.
Philosophically im a taoist, i believe in trying, but not trying too hard.

but its alright, im not going into any "important" field. probably interventional/diagnostic radiology.

i hear psych nursing is especially brutal. seen some fucked up shit on my psych rotation.

I was initially taught 15:2 at med school, but current evidence is that 30:2 provides superior outcomes as there are fewer interruptions to chest compressions. If you discount the patient's premorbid state, effective, uninterrupted compressions and early access to advanced cardiac life support facilities are the key factors in determining survival from cardiac arrest.

>>"Ding dong motherfucker"
Hahahahaha

...

Are 60 hour shifts the reason your houses fly away when it's windy?

I would like to say that pissing my pants while sitting on the toilet didn't happen to me...

mfw you couldve made him a stand user

>driving home drunk and high af from a party with my friends when we were 16
>friend crashes car at roughly 80 km/h
>1 friend dies, one becomes paraplegic, i survive with 3 missing teeth
>doctors tell me that my spine could have been broken if i didnt have as many muscles surrounding it
>MMA trainer who made me do deadlifts saved my life

This is very reassuring.
I do it accidentally now and then

>Accidentally
As opposed to on purpose?

Holy fuck.
Brb doing deadlifts.

lol retards