If you guys want to lose fat and then gain muscle so badly

PTSD fucking sucks and will haunt you for life. The few pros isn't worth a lifetime of mental illness.

I should know.

Pickle suit detected

Guard is literally the best thing ever. ANG is even better.
>20000 signing bonus
>700 a month while full time school
>100% tuition to any state school
>Training fun as fuck and get to go to choose if you want to go on deployments
>already traveled the country, Poland and Hungary in the next 2 years

Not a single downside.

I've been in the military for 5+ years and I don't know anyone who's died or even been in combat. I have a cushy desk job, and spend my day on facebook, youtube, and Veeky Forums. I work a few hours a day then just bullshit around. My job is very important, and it needs to be done, and not just anyone can do it - it just doesn't take very long to do is all.

Many jobs in the military are easier funner than a filthy fucking undisciplined civilian would think. On top of that, only about 2% of the entire military sees combat. So out of the next 50 service members you see, maybe one of them fired a gun at anyone.

But keep believeing your bullshit, hollywood movie depiction of military life. We're all just backflipping off tanks, dual wielding machine guns all the time, right?

Army greens are now blues too.
I personally liked the greens more but the Navy uniform looks good aswell.

I'm joining army for 12r in a month

I'm and army fag and trust me it is easier to get fit out of the military than in. The dining facilities don't always offer the appropriate foods for maintaining gains and like one of the anons said above all we do is fucking run and PRT is a fucking joke.

you're a dumb nigger now get the fuck off my board

Navy also reporting in.
It's actually really easy to be fat in the military. Standards are cake to pass

I was riding on the back of an m939 in Iraq 6 years ago when the driver slammed the brakes and an oil drum flung me off the back and landed on my hand, broke 2 fingers

Purple Heart bruh..... without even seeing combat..... feels bad man

These uniforms are getting phased out. Thank god, the whole navy is converting to type 3's

I'm heading to basics on Jan 3rd then going for my job as 88L

He's absolutely right. I have a normal 6-3 job, 5 days a week just repairing helicopter wires. Pretty easy job really

Have you meet anybody in EOD? I was thinking it was something to get into and see some action while in the navy

buying my type 3s as soon as next paycheck comes in

still a fucking SWO but I get to look like a SEAL now

Marine checking in, running and calisthenics in the morning, gym in the evening. Shit gets exhausting but you get used to it after a while. Also, lose a good amount of muscle mass when you go and do field ops for weeks at a time.

>Why not just join the military?

Because some of us actually have goals in life.

Got out last year. Our unit wasn't doing deployment rotations anymore, just joint training exercises and garrison idiocy.

>welfare queen
>muh veterans
>PTSD
>perpetuating the american imperialistic doctrine

yeah thanks but no thanks

Canadian military fag here

wow i love Israel now

Wanna know how i know you're not Veeky Forums?

By projecting?

Think about it like this.
You can either work at some shitty job making minimum wage, and trying to do some crazy ass back flips to obtain a few cents more or a promotion.

Or you could join the military in even the shittiest field ad make good money. This means getting out of the house for free, free food, care free for a good amount of time.
Even if you didn't want to do something thats 4 years long just join the weekend worriers (even though that would make you a little bitch).
>They really do have something for everybody.

I weigh too much to join

So what your saying is that my tax dollars are being wasted every year?

Why cant you fags just state the job title instead of speaking in code. Its like you are eager to be looked at as numbers, like you're in a concentration camp.

>Implying I'm not training to became a firefighter
>Implying I'm not a beaner waiting for his naturalization papers to be able to serve his community

But seriously. Military jobs are the closest thing to communism we have in America. They'll take any dumbass, find something useful for him to do, and treat him like a fucking hero or send him to die for some dumb shit.

Are you fucking retardet you fucking faggot?! You do realize that Navy Seals and SF time can be 110% cardio and nogains when you are marching and being pissed off in some jungle 24/7 living with rations.

Same. I go on my phone and play hearthstone for at least an hour a day. I used to play 3-5 hours a day at post. We have one retarded co-worker who needs hand holding 24/7, fucking idiot can't use excel after at least 30 hours of teaching.

You can still make goals with free school you retard. Also there are lots of benefits like free healthcare/housing and shit. How can people not value medical? You get s-tier medical FREE. That's a 5k value right there.

50% of my 200k neighborhood back home is military...gee I wonder why my daddy was successful in the military and our neighbors as well. However you need to do at least 20 years or you won't get that retirement check

THIS SO MUCH. Why stay wageslaving and struggling? Any health problem or care problem and you're in debt already lmao. If you're not making at least double the minimum wage you might as well join the military

>tfw genetically unfit to serve

Because I'm not retarded.

...tfw I realized 2 years ago the most successful people on facebook are in the military. I shoulda just joined like my retard classmates back then. Literally everyone else is a wageslave except for the top 5 kids from my high school. Still living with mommy...

>wanting any girl who would ever go for a military man
>ever

shiggy diggy doo

>be wageslave at best buy
>fuck cant leave the crib working so many hours and making dogshit with fat moms yelling down my neck at best buy
>join military
>learn composure
>get cardio fit endurance, was already lifting
>get free home
>literally only need to pay for food, haircut, and my hobbies
>never work on weekends

life's good. Feel safe and comfy on base, everyone is respectable, don't have to question rednecks, spics, or nogs.

The only negative is that you have to be stationed in different states or countries so you have to find a wife in 1-3 years before you move again. The only other bad thing was when I used to work 80 hours on guard duty. Literally had to have no life for two weeks just working, but whatever, not that big of a deal with smartphones and laptops these days

>Why not just join the military
Because Onigger and his merry band went full SJW and dropped fitness requirements all together to allow in as many weak fucks and women in as they could to fuck the military
You don't have to do jack squat anymore

because i don't want to kill and risk my life for Israel and Saudi Arabia.

>then get a job that does more than jack squat
Not that fucking hard people
Something tells me you scored a 5 on the ASVAB, but you think your smart af because you are above average at playing vidya or some shit.
So either you're too fat and wont work it off because you're lazy, or skinny and wont gain because your lazy.
>you are marching and being pissed off in some jungle 24/7 living with rations.
This ain't Nam.
>I protect the weed leaf flag
Good on ya though. Making something of yourself. Maybe, idk what you do but its better than being a wadge slave.
>shiggy diggy doo

Lmao that pictures actually pretty accurate

k let's chase the wageslave

Or find something useless for him to do, let him slip between the cracks on certain advancement cycles, and he becomes a piece of shit Chief with no relevant skills or personability

Navy O-4 here. Free B.S., free laser eye surgery, free M.S.. It's almost stupid not to join for at least 4 years right now. DoD budget will be up for the next 4 years and likely only minor conflicts with Trump (isolationist).

this, just do 4 years and reap some benefits

Submariner here.

Lots of fat guys. Especially on boomers and GNs since they're well fed. Fast attack for life.

We got a lot of fatties, a lot of skinnyfats, and a few swole dudes. Fitness standards are designed for skinnyfats. Guys who lift have to get rope and choked every single weigh in.

>join military
>lose gains in boot camp
>nothing but cardio and bitch body weight
>get out of boot camp, shit pay , shit food
>get fat, fat gains
>have to maintain cardio for test
>work work work, sometimes miss a meal of two because so busy
>6 hours of sleep if lucky
Fucking lost all my gains brah. the only way I'll get them back is when I reach a higher rank with a good pay which will take a couple years.

navy fag here

>Join the military
>Get my degree
>Officer school
>Get stuck grinding caked sand off brake discs 7 hours a day in the desert heat
>Moved to a navy yard fixing radios in the swamp heat
>Moved to a desk counting wrenches 7 hours a day in the freezing cold

They stocked a fucking snacks table a few feet from my desk. The only reason I'm not a diabetes-riddled corpse was having to run an obstacle course just to move between buildings.

Marine or Bee?

>join navy
>count pills and do whipping boy things like triage from orders of the docs/nurses
>exercise is easy as shit like gym class because most of the navy are fat
>literally don't even have to try

>implying there isn't a few fat faggots that slip through the cracks somehow.

Shit annoys the fuck out of me. I know a few that live on base and STILL smoke weed.

>Navy
Gets all the money.
>Air Force
Gets all the paperwork.
>Army
Does all of the work.
>Marines
Gets all the credit.

Blue Falcon them

When people say 'lose fat' they dont mean 'lose fat by decaying as a corpse dying for some pointless reason'

Implying that every job the military has to offer is just warfare.

Even more pointless. Less pay, less opportunity and less freedom.

Go do two years then become a recruiter
after those two years you are basically a civi with a uniform

>basically
Yeah no thanks. Not giving up my freedoms.

Recruiting duty sucks ass unless you're Air Force.

Because it makes us feel more important.
But it is more accurate when locked up.

>when locked up.
Looked up*

already did conscription

in the end of it actually got fatter

i've been thinking of applying for peace keeping things but my cardio is god awful and my studies are not done and will not be done for years

I was in JROTC for 4 year
I was gonna go into the armed services but then I decided to get a apt/house with a few friends
>I regret wasting the past 6 months and money on this shit hole

Time to get the fuck outa here

>/pol/tard
Back to your containment board.

Kek you definitely stole that one

anons don't listen to the YNs or HMs they know what they signed up for and are pissed they got it

Hell, I was Infantry, I went to Iraq, actually went outside the wire all the time, and STILL never saw actual combat.

>2016
>actually taking muslim shitskin's side

hurr durr