How many GALLONS each DAY?

>you say you can't function properly without taking a sip? a sip of what?

lol

lmao i love this board

>Sir, would you PLEASE finally stop calling me Pajeet?

>please sir, don't hurt me. I'm genuinely sorry your estrogen levels are so high from all that milk

>I don't know what to do. He keeps calling me a gains goblin.

>I hear you've been bullying some Asians at your gym

Bodyweight fags what are some good body weight exercises for ass? Gf wants a better ass.

>What was that? Please don't be in London?

So you thought messing with your endocrine system was a great idea because "PCT" would bring your testosterone levels to "normal?"

What's that? The 'Fraud General' on a mongolian fishing website told you steroids were "not bad for you and just fear mongered"

>Nurse, this man requested gynocemastia surgery, prep an operating table!

oh christ

So you abstain from ejaculation, take ice cold showers and look at pictures of obese women on a Bosnian almond activation imageboard because you heard that these activities might noticeably elevate your testosterone levels? And you expect me to perform blood tests so you can determine whether this is all worth it or if you should buy Chinese bathtub chemicals from the dark web and inject them into your body instead?

My sides

Fukin kek

Bulgarian split squat, do them slow, pausing for one second in the down position.

>Wait, why does it say you use asthma medication, you don't even have asthma!

>son, do you have any idea how large that first sip was? Can I see your natty license?

...

kek, i'm taking it for the first time and my hands ate shaky as fuck

b...b..but officer it's still early day

Hehe

saved

>so you're not sexually active? care to explain?

Each squat takes 7 minutes off your life.

So your fitness regime involves pretending to be nazi officer?

...

What do you mean you've finished another tub of peanut butter?

bahahah

I want this meme die

>You took FIVE scoops and did an EIGHT HOUR arm workout Because a 'wealthy pianoman' told you to?

You train your arms for 8 whole hours to "leave humanity behind" as you put it? And you say 16 of these "mutant shakes" help you recover from it?

I have a chronic kidney condition and at one point I almost asked my doctor if it could ever be okay to take protein powder

I'm not kidding I almost fucking asked
And the guy is super serious he would've stared me down

>So you are telling me you start cutting yourself after bulk? Listen, just because you dislike your warehouse job doesn't mean you should hurt yourself.

>look what he wrote under 'last sexually active'

Audible kek

>You say you want a "hands-free prostate exam" to see if the finasteride you've taken to stop yourself going bald from the testosterone you inject into your body has damaged your prostate?
>Well I suppose I can do it just this once but keep this between us and remember, no homo.

>So, you only drank a glass of milk a day because some "doctor" told you so?

>2,5 grams of protein per pound of bodyweight everyday???!!! Well, I think we finally know why do you have renal failure at 23

>What do you mean "sloots gonna sloot"?
>user I understand you might be uncomfortable with a female doctor given what you put under "sexual activity" but I assure your I'm as skilled and qualified as any male doctor working here.

Can someone explain this London meme plz

>So it looks like your vital signs are perfect and your testosterone and growth hormone levels are the highest we've seen in years! I suppose it does explain your extraordinary height, face and frame though. Sorry about my assistant Stacy by the way, she just couldn't control herself around you! Anyway, could you tell us what your diet and fitness regime is really like because I struggle to believe you're doing this well living off of nothing but pizza and beer and only doing football training and the occasional curl or pushup for exercise.

To explain this would require you to understand the concept of Tiny.

>You want me to give you something that will make you feel "thick, solid, and tight"?
>What do you mean by that?

>You're here today because your "pumps" don't feel like an orgasm?
>You think it's supposed to feel that way?
>Arnold told you this? Who's Arnold? Is he a doctor?

DELET THIS POST REEEEEEE

ayy

>Diagnostically speaking, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your face, frame, or height. I'm sorry sir, there's nothing I can do for you.

>Bosnian almond activation imageboard

I'm a Bosnian almond farmer genuinely considering selling "Activated Almonds" to the vegan/hipster crowd, so this is not entirely untrue.

>So you inject yourself with a livestock appetite booster because you want to be "fucking zebras"? And you know full well that my name isn't "Myron Bra" but I hope you find whoever he is and he can help you with your sick zoophilic obsessions.

>You walk around with your mouth clenched shut and your tongue pressing the roof of your mouth because an obscure orthotropic orthodontist said it'd move your maxilla and remould your skull? And you say you import hard gum from Greece and Turkey to chew for hours every day because you think it'll cause masseter hypertrophy?

the "tongue pressing the roof of your mouth" thing isn't something to be joked about user

my front teeth are ruined because i destroyed the natural bump by sucking my thumb until i was 9

it's NOT a meme

>girl posts on Veeky Forums
>little monkey prays she is in london
>she wasn't

REEEEEEEEE

>I'll schedule an X-ray immediately sir. Which large bone did you want me to examine?

>two WHOLE jars of peanut butter?
>six times a day you say?
>and you...push your fingers into your eyes regularly?????

>What's this "powerlifting" I see written here?

12 meals a day? Injecting yourself with WHAT?!?! user I don't care if you're doing "feeder workouts" this "bigger by the day" thing you're doing is unhealthy and if you're really doing it to leave humanity behind I'm afraid we're going to have to put you on suicide watch and get you into a psychiatric ward as soon as possible.

>five? two or three times a day? and how much exactly is in one of these "scoops"?

>17g of protein, sir

>mr. user that's going to put serious strain on your kidneys. the recommended daily intake of protein is only 56 grams

>Weighted ass-rows?

it goes way back

>fucking normies
*unintelligible muttering*

Just wanted to let you know that you made a spelling error and I didn't read the rest of your story after the first misused word.
>you are
Time to off yourself

That was 4 kg before, now I accidentally ate 11 kg more
LOSING MYSELF

>girl

>spelling error
Actually it's a grammatical error. He didn't spell 'you're' incorrectly, he just used it wrong.

...

In your case it is, since it is way too late for any adjustments.

I shouldn't have lost, but I did.

>>Arnold told you this? Who's Arnold? Is he a doctor?
You blew it, everyone knows Arnold

You can google "who is Arnold" or "Arnold height" and you immediately get results

You can google a lot of shit in these threads and immediately get results

Yes, but it's mostly not stuff normies would know about

Arnold is well-known throughout the western world

SOME ONE POST THE 32 EGGS A DAY THREAD QUICKLY.

lmao made my day

32 OF WHAT A DAY

>Your blood work came back and your creatinine levels are off the charts.

I lift weights.

>You need to stop lifting weights.

True story, I never went back to that doctor either.

YAMEROOOOO

Look, Doc. Can I can you Doc? Listen, Doc... I need to get protein. It might sound like a lot, but semen is very healthy for you.

By far my favorite thread that mysteriously showed up recently.

you say you have such large trapezius muscles from BICYCLING?

Every single time