Need help with social anxiety

Hey could someone please tell me what I should do (calisthenics, exercises, training etc.) considering my problems?

Basically, I'm skinnyfat at them moment (borderline correct BMI) and I need to exercise to get healthy, but I have social anxiety, OCD and coordination issues. I cannot let anyone see me if I train ; I absolutely hate when people watch me, and it makes me panic and want to vomit a bit, so I can't train at a gym. Moreover, I'm a clean freak : I can't touch things that come from the outside world (not inside my house) without cleaning my hands afterwards, so I can't really use public material in a gym since they are dirty... Finally, I have hand-eye coordination problems (my gym teachers all told me this), so, for instance, I can't ride a bike because I have immense difficulty keeping up with the cycling movement with my legs (alone), and even more so if I have to control the handle...

What can I do Veeky Forums? What can I do to overcome my problems?

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youtu.be/UpjvB72LjWU
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run

Hey OP,

> OCD, social anxiety
First off are your conditions diagnosed? or have you self diagnosed them?

>can't train at gym
make a home gym, should fix your current issues with cleanliness and OCD

> Hand eye coordination issues,
see a professional, those seem like some serious issues, prob want to get those checked out my someone.

Bodyweight exercises shouldn't be an issue for you I suppose?

gl

>First off are your conditions diagnosed? or have you self diagnosed them?

Self diagnosed, I can't go see someone about them or my parents would know, but I'm fairly certain I'm correct about those issues. I am very nervous in public, I don't go outside my house unless If have to go to school, and I always follow the same routine everyday, which, if disturbed, makes me incredibly afraid or frustrated. Also, I can't look at people in the eyes, have trouble talking to people, can't have them look at me, etc. I'm fairly certain I have social anxiety. For OCD, I have to make sure everything I did was perfect. For instance, when I close a door I check the doorknob 10-12 times to see it's alright, and I can't let things from outside my house touch things that are inside my house. For instance, if I go outside with a coat on, when I come home my coat cannot touch anywhere inside the house, and I'll have to take a shower, even if I only went outside for 5 minutes.

>home gym
How do I do one?

>Bodyweight exercises
Which ones? For instance, I can't coordinate myself well enough to do bicycle crunches. And I can't go see a specialist for those issues, just like I can't for anxiety or OCD. I'm just looking for exercises I could do discreetly to help me lose a bit of weight and stay skinny (I currently have a slight belly).

You sound like me

I've found no solution this life is certainly not a happy one though

I'm not happy either, I think I'm severely depressed, but I'm just trying to find out good exercises I could do to make myself feel a bit better maybe.

Anymore details? Not really helping...

really run

Bump

What country are you in? Does it have a public health system or do you have private health insurance? Seems like you have significant issues with anxiety/depression that you should do something about...Talk to a doctor (GP) or get a family member or friend help you organise it if you can't, the doctor might refer you to a psychologist or whatever else they think is appropriate.

I live in Quebec, Canada, so I have access to free healthcare, but the problem is that seeing a psychologist takes a really long time, and usually they are not that competent. Also, I'm afraid to go there because my parents would know and I don't want that.

You could go and see a GP and ask them what they recommend as the best course of action..they could tell you how long it might take to see a psychologist, or if it will take a long time you can ask them for an alternative. For example, I know that there are online cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) programs which might help..but best to discuss it with your doctor.

I don't think you should write off all psychologists as incompetent - as I suspect you haven't given it a go and you clearly need some help wit this.

In regard to your parents, they don't need to know necessarilly, you can see a doctor by yourself and they must respect patient confidentiality. However, I think you should consider discussing it with your parents in some way, even if you don't reveal the full extent of the issue to them. They might be able to assist you in getting help.

Grow a pair, both of you

If you have the cash and the space, a home gym will solve your woes. A power rack, a bench to lie down on (not a full bench press, just a regular bench, you can bench press in the power rack) and a standard barbell with some weights should be all you need for a long time. Get a cardio machine if you like, any one will do, treadmills and recumbent bikes are popular.

The power rack will set you up for all of the beginner compound exercises in the sticky (squats, overhead press, bench press) and you don't need any extra equipment to do deadlifts, power cleans, or rows. You can even do chin ups and pull ups on the power rack. This plus a cardio machine will set you up nicely for a long time.

Granted it's a lot of space and a reasonable amount of cash but it gives you a nice simple private home gym.

I have anxiety about people but not the cleanliness/OCD stuff, so I don't mind going to the gym, but only when 0-3 people are there so I can do my thing without feeling like I'm being watched. I joined a 24 hour gym and go in the middle of the night, but I bought a treadmill and plan to get a power rack as soon as possible.

>What can I do Veeky Forums? What can I do to overcome my problems?

-schedule an appointment with a doctor: besides being a professional unlike Veeky Forums, it's also nice to have an objective check up

-realize everyone is insecure and, most importantly, noone cares about you: they might stare, even comment but in a couple days they won't even remember your face.

-run

you sound very young, you'll eventually be able to overcome your problems,gl

You don't understand at all

How do you know?
Maybe he went through the exact same thing and "cured" it by growing a pair?

Shit, he is actually right you know.
It's actually proven that social anxiety is combatted by increasingly stepping out if your comfort zone.
It's actually how you conquer all your irrational fears... grow a pair and face them.

I had the same problem with the gym, sure not to the same degree, but I still avoided lifting wheights at first, preferring cardii because that way you don't really come into contact with anybody and no one tries to talk to someone who is barely able to keep up breathing anyway.

Grow a pair is exactly the right kind of advice, stop playing the victim of since sort of condition... grow a pair, face them and they will go away eventually

I'm saying he doesn't understand because I have tried "growing a pair" in the past. It didn't work.

Yeah well I doubt it

Just be dead inside. Works for me.

Go out and talk to people.

Not as simple as that.

I know. You will be embarrassed over and over and over again.

But in the long run it was worth it.

It doesnt work if you have no direction and dont know what youre doing, it just freaks people out and makes things worse, your advice is worse than useless

Yeah, they must definitely respect patient confidentiality, but my parents would still know because they know almost everything I do, like where I go, etc. ; that's why I also can't go to the gym and would prefer discreet cardio exercises so my parents don't know I do that. More or less the same reason I can't see a GP. And I really doubt my parents could help me, they'll just think I'm insane.

But, on a side, note, I'm not joking about the incompetence of public psychologists (only private ones are worth it, but too expensive). That's also why I want body weight exercices, I heard that doing physical activity helps with my issues.

It really doesn't work. I just never feel good doing that, sometimes almost to the point of vomiting. I'd just like to do exercises at home, without having to deal with much of anyone. Besides, I have trouble actually conversing with people. I never know what precisely to say, or how exactly to act.

>people like this exist
Wew kys
youtu.be/UpjvB72LjWU

This is probably you (warning, heavy feels inbound)
youtu.be/WACeVniGlqw

Grow a bigger pair then, that's what i'm doing. I still hate going to public places but fuck it, i just joined a gym today and gave absolute no fucks. There was a fat guy there running and do you think he gives a fuck? Nah m8 he just wants to get /slim/ he wants to get better and he's not gonna let some cunts stop him with their gossip or dirty looks.
There are disabled people in my gym and they don't give a fuck, they want to get better user, and trust me, EVERYONE stares at them. But that doesn't stop them nigga.
If they can do it, so can you, you have to stop running, or else you will not make it, you will die.

user is absolutely correct.

Also you should talk to your parents, you are their offspring and i'm sure if they love you enough they would do anything in their power to help you, and fucking hell i think they already noticed how fucking stupid you're acting.

"I never know what precisely to say, or how exactly to act." is something I've had to deal with for years too, I've spent most of my years alone with no friends and my only contact being the cashier at the supermarket.

"Hello"
Hi
"That would be 20$"
May I pay by debit card?
"Go ahead"
"Would you like a receipt?"
Yes please.
Thank you.
"Have a nice day, sir."
You too.

Day in day out, the same conversation. I've lived in the same clothes for years repeating the same conversation every day. Eventually you grow tired of it, the first time I went out to buy clothes I actually went to a different city because I was afraid I would embarrass myself the first time I met someone and thus have that image of me ingrained in their minds. The thing with buying your clothes in a different city is that you will never see those people again and that you don't have to worry about embarrassing yourself as much. I've walked out of many stores because I was afraid to ask whether a shirt I liked was for men or women.

Eventually you will become so uncomfortable with yourself, that it will be more comfortable for you to try and fix your problems. You can sit, exercise and work in your own home, live your miserable little life and then die without ever achieving anything OR you can try to fix your problems and make your life worthwhile to live. There's no easy fix for your problems, no easy fix for my problems either, but hey, you've just gotta bite the bullet and stick with it for years in years out.

Since you cannot stand people watching you exercise, I'd suggest go out and join a gym. Nobody knows who you are, nobody will laugh and nobody even cares about you because they're too insecure about themselves. The first time will be extremely embarrassing, but if you stick with it for a small month, you will get used to it. Once you're so used to going to the gym, you can move on to other things.

If everyone looked at me, I'd be even less willing to ever go outside again. I can't have that. I have a routine, and seeing people isn't part of that ; and if I don't follow my routine, I feel distressed and/or frustrated. I don't want to feel like vomiting by training in public. I just want to train at home, at least I'd be healthy. The people you talk about have will, and I don't have that anymore, my life is pretty screwed up, to the point of no coming back.

Also, never will I tell any of this to my parents. They already think I am weird, and I'm probably disappointing them already and being a burden to them. No sense in being even more of that. Besides, they'd probably laugh me.

I just want to do bodyweight exercices for now, I'm not ready for what you're telling me.

go back to /pol/

I'm sorry for what you had to go through ; and I hope I never reach a point to where it would be more comfortable for me to out in public than it would be to remain alone. But that is likely to happen if I continue on my road, as I'm incredibly nervous about my future, and it looks very bleak. What's scary is that the situation you were in is not that far away from mine, except you actually had to interact with people, and I don't because I live with my parents. I don't even know if I could go to the supermarket.

I'd like to do stuff, but I feel it's too late for me now, since I screwed up too much of my life. Taking years to fix those problems would literally confirm this. If it takes years to fix, I'm doomed...

I'd rather train at home than at the gym, I'm not ready for that yet. I can't stand being in public training, even if people don't look at me. The mere possibility of it is enough to make me deeply insecure (especially because I suck). For instance, when I take an exam in school, I take a huge part of my time just to hide my copy and what I write so no one knows what I'm doing and whether or not I understand the questions.

Great point fag. At least I'm trying to help a fucking retarded cuck out here, what are you doing? Sucking cuck cock on your cuck shed?

You told him to go kill himself.

And how should I proceed just doing that?

>being underage

>Oh noes, being mean and a bully is not allowed on this subreddit.
Fucking moralfags need to leave, he's not even being suicidal, if you are such a massive pussy that if a random user tells you to kill yourself and you do it then maybe it was just meant to be.

Take phenibut. Minimum 1g at least two hours before working out. It is long lasting and will affect you practically all day. Find the right dosage for yourself. It affects GABA receptors similar to alcohol and GHB, however is much lighter in effects and will not make you retarded like alcohol.

It honestly works wonders. My job is extremely stressful, and when I know I have to work I will have trouble sleeping just imagining the shit day I'm about to have. With phenibut, it makes me lackadaisical to the point of almost forgetting I have to work.

Plus, it may help with GH release, thus aiding in your workouts. It also takes the edge off caffeine 1000% so you get the benefits with none of the side effects.

People like to talk about how addictive it is. "Hurr durr don't take it more than once a month or you will die of anxiety". However none of these people have actually used it. I've used it at 2g + a day for five days straight and had 0 rebound anxiety. Just do your research and find out what works for you.

>You told him to kill himself how is that helping
>Oh noes, being mean and a bully is not allowed on this subreddit. Fucking moralfags need to leave, he's not even being suicidal, if you are such a massive pussy that if a random user tells you to kill yourself and you do it then maybe it was just meant to be.

I'm laughing like a maniac over here.

Fixing social anxiety is simple in concept, but can be really hard to execute.

I used to be pretty awkward/anti-social but I've come out of my shell tremendously.

What you need to do is some serious soul-searching. Start with a Google search and keep working towards building basic confidence and self-esteem. I GUARANTEE you everyone you come into contact with that you think are judging you; think you are judging them. Just learn to be comfortable being yourself and living in your own skin. The real secret to overcoming social anxiety is to just keep hacking away at the tree of social graces. Talk to people. Even if you make a complete ass of yourself (which will happen many, many times) you'll improve. Remember: dealing and communicating with other humans is a skill, and like all other skills it is learned. Even the most alpha/outgoing person ever had awkward moments at sometime in their past.

Here's a good exercise: Go to a mall (it can be far from where you live if you want). Walk into every store and ask the most attractive or intimidating employee you can find a basic question: "Do you have this in a medium?" "Where can I find the clothes that are on sale?" "How much does this cost?" etc etc. Just keep hacking away at it. Learn to NOT GIVE A FUCK dude. That's the secret. You're not even basing your worth on what other people think of you, you're basing your worth on what YOU think other people think of you. I've been in that mind trap and it sucks.

As for being afraid of letting people see you train, I know that can be intimidating but you can do it if you start at home.

Do some basic calisthenics to build some basic stabilizing muscle so you don't look like a total noob at the gym. Also watch videos of proper form for different exercises to make sure you're doing them correctly. Focus on compound movements since these will give you the best returns for your time.

To get over your OCD you need to learn to just let go and relax. Think about the pettiness of whatever it is that's bothering you, and just let it go. Breathe in and out. Lift with gym equipment, and afterwards just wash your hands. Simple. Don't touch anything that's yours, or your body in the meantime.

As for the coordination, I would see a doctor about that. That can usually be improved with practice as well (like sports drills) but I'm not a doctor so my advice is limited.

Good luck user, you'll make it some day.

Thanks for the help, much appreciated. I would try talking to people (I have before), but most people don't like me or talk to me. Often, especially if I'm in a group conversation, I'll get excluded, regardless of what I say or do ; and it's because I am who I am : I have trouble thinking when someone talks to me, I just freeze. No matter what I do, and it's always been that way ; I barely can understand a simple question, I can't even give an answer in a normal amount of time. For instance, someone might ask my age, but I won't be able to answer. It will take me a minute. I've answered that question wrong a couple of times now. I feel like social skills are just not up for me. But I guess I could try going to a mall. Even when I buy books at my university I get extremely nervous, I repeat in my head what I'll say to the cashier hours before just to be sure.

Not giving a fuck is impossible for me right now, and I don't have much of a worth anyway, but I might practice a bit and try asking stuff out to people.

Any special videos I should watch or calisthenics that I should do?

I can't go to a doctor right now for my coordination problem, but overall thanks, your advice is really good. Good luck to you as well.

I went through the same shit; it fucking sucks.

Group conversation skills are pretty advanced, especially if you don't share common interest with the people you're talking to.

It all starts with you. If you don't have confidence, then honestly just fake it. Pretend to be the most confident guy in the world, and slowly it will start to sink in. Simple Pickup used to make great videos about this stuff on Youtube, especially about confidence but they haven't been posting lately, and idk if they're old videos are still up, but they're worth checking out if they are.

Another AMAZING resource, and what is probably the most timeless self-improvement book is "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. Just make sure you pick up the right version, since some of the newer ones are lacking some of those classic 30's analogies haha.

I don't know that many calisthenics exercises, there are people who post pictures with a bunch. Just lurk for a few days and you're bound to find some. Invest in a set of dumbells and lookup some exercises on bodybuilding.com. You might also find some bodyweight exercises in their database.

I don't think I've ever been quite as bad as you are on the social interaction spectrum, but I have been close. And it fucking sucks. I was that guy people excluded in high school. I used to stumble over basic questions and act like a bumbling idiot. I asked out the prettiest girl in school to homecoming- she said yes because she didn't have the balls to say no to my face, instead asking her friend to tell her she wasn't going with me. Hell- I got into a fight with the fucking quarterback of the football team once. It was recorded and everyone I know in all the schools in my area saw me get my ass beat, not to mention a suspension.

Just don't give up user, you can fucking do it.

succeedsocially.com/thesocialskillsguidebook

get a job

Yeah, I don't have the confidence, at all. I'm pretty worthless desu. I guess I'll just fake it, though I have little to no clue as to what that entails. It's hard to have any self-worth when you screwed up so many times to a point from where it's difficult to go back.

It sounds like you had it worse than me in high school, though. Sorry about that. I only used to get verbally harassed or ostracized and never had many friends, but I was never beaten. Sorry it happened to you, I'm glad you still managed to keep up though.

No joke, but I never had one (I'm 22). Too anxious to look out for one, and since it would go against my routine, it disturbs me even more.

You gotta start lifting man. Grow up.

You're a genetic dead end and will never, ever make it. Sorry.

Probably I am. But I still want to be happy, and I'd ideally like to stop being miserable.