How are you holding up guys?

maybe she just needs time, i'd give it a month if i were you.
nice job on the press

Yo I'm still here, just taking some time to write out my shit.

Scratch it. Getting autistic over missed workouts leads nowhere nice.
Getting with people once in a while is good for your mental health if you're not a sociopath.
There's another version of pic related with quotes something like
> One day at the gym won't make you big as one missed training won't make you small

> girls are laughing more around me and generally seems more interested in me.
Shit son, this seems to be a nice feel, isn't it?
> tfw shitty facial aesthetics make girls switch sidewalks at night

> i can feel the heart ache every time i see them together
Can relate. Never got much affection from my parents but craving it like crazy.
Things like holding hands, cuddling and stuff have higher value for me than actual sex (which I still dig).
On the other side I have no idea how to get to know girls because I spent my life playin vidya, working out by myself, simply working or some other lame stuff.
In hindsight I've met a lot of grills who were into me and by the time I figured out the signals they long lost interest.
Because if a girl is nice to me she must be plotting something, right?

What red flags are we talking?
Doesn't feel it somewhat weird, calling someone you barely know darling?
That would be a red flag for me. Sounds a lot like borderline.

...

Honestly, just cried for 10 minutes
I haven't cried in 5-6 years
I'm fat and I know it
Story is, I took a webcam I have and finally turned it on for a few minutes just to see what I look like to other people, what I present myself as, I'm 6'0 and 280lb, the way I move walk, and generally live is honestly a lazy fat fuck

I'm on the computer all day, at work, at home and mostly on social websites like Veeky Forums and other forums. I make excuses by getting off work, and not going to the gym, or eating healthy instead I come home and watch tv, play video games, Veeky Forums and eat/cook a lot of food. I kind of now see it though, the way you look does matter, and after seeing myself for who I really am, I think I'm going to be more self conscious of my choices.

>tldr. came to the realization of just how fat i am and cried for the last 10 minutes. why does it feel good though?
i did this for a reason this week, im 30 years old, and this week went somewhere i usually don't go, some women was there, she;s in her late 20s and she couldn't take her eyes off of me, i figured she felt sorry for me or something, so i turned up the cam and finally can see what i look like, no mirrors no fake, just look at yourself once, and it brought me to tears and shaking, thankfully, i think i needed this, i really do

...

Way to ruin it with the bong, kill yourself

Just wanted to say I appreciate the OP.

It's never too late to fix things my man. Browse fit constantly and obsess over your fitness, the good news is change comes real quick initially.

You may be like me, the boring autist that finds more joy in doing deadlifts over launching steam and I've only been at it for 6 months.

Read the sticky and get started RIGHT NOW. Throw away shit foods like that carbonated piss people call soda, all sweets etc. Also lift, it'll help stave off loose skin as you lose weight.

For the record, when I was 17 I weighed 325 pounds at 6'0. In a year of dieting and cycling for an hour I lost 100 pounds just in time to enter college. It took a backseat because holy fuck college and by graduation i weighed ~240.

Started lifting tail end of this past summer and doing regular cardio, counting macros etc and today i weighed in at 203 and i love how I look in clothes now. Doing a slow cut of ~2 lb a week now and hopefully in a month or so I can say that I've made it.

Find inspiration, no matter how retarded the source is, to draw from and prioritize your fitness and exercise above anything else in your spare time. Go cocoon mode.

Way to go man. I'm your age next year.
Started to lose control when World of Warcraft came out.
Lost almost my whole social circle, my eyesight dropped by 5 dioptre, ordered pizza 2-3 times a day.
Stopped the already wee bit of sport I did and gained weight like an absolute madman. All for the epics and my guild.
Lived with my parents, reduced school time to an absolute minimum, rather called in sick and stayed at home to play WoW.
After some years my interest in the game died down and I was left miserable, alone and with almost no perspective.
While browsing some site with 2funey cat pictures and other stuff on it I came across pic related and it just clicked.
This was the moment when I took a look in the mirror and realized that my life shouldn't be that miserable.
The picture really got me good. That little faggot is holding up his gf up on the beach while looking absolutely good.
Next day I signed up for gym and got the rest of my shit together.

Thing is, sometimes you just need a very specific trigger in the right moment to realize what's REALLY wrong.
Yeah, maybe the girl did pity you, but you know what? 10 minutes after you left she completely forgot about you.
Getting Veeky Forums won't magically fix all of your problems at once but it's a fucking huge step in the right direction.
Also, don't get too locked up on how you look. I'm still somewhat chubby but not as fat as I was and I'm content af.
The health issues that came with my obesity have definetily been gone but I also realized lifting is not for me,
so I looked around and discovered running, which I absolutely enjoy.
Women are mainly about confidence m8.

> implying that this fine piece doesn't add even more to the ambience

...

Also not gonna lie, I'm single for 8 years now, the one and only gf I had (3 years tho) basically threw herself at me since I'm horrible at picking up signals.

...

>The health issues that came with my obesity have definetily been gone but I also realized lifting is not for me, so I looked around and discovered running, which I absolutely enjoy.

You give swimming a shot man?

... are you me?

Yeah I tried out lots of stuff.
Archery, table tennis, also swimming in some lifeguard... club...thing?
Guess it was the social aspect that killed it for me, as autistic as it may sound.

Spending time to get fitter strangely is very intimate for me.
I can only enjoy this shit when I'm by myself.
In the two years I spent at the gym I didn't learn a single name of anyone else there.

> get changed
> plug in music
> do my workout which most of the time was fuled by immense hatred on all of those faggots around me occupying shit I need to use
> shower
> get changed
> drive home

Idk man, running just stuck with me.
Running on a small dirty path that leads through a huge forest right after it stopped raining is one amazing feel.

It's a good feel once in a while to know that I'm not the only retard that doesn't know how to into grills.
Cheers m8, it will get better. If men don't get out of shape too much while getting older, they're getting more and more attractive.
For women it's the other way round.

So chances are the "grill-throwing-herself-at-someone-like-us" moments will increase over time if we haven't learned by then.
If you're that type of guy, a good relationship will color up your life, no matter what age you are.

I think a good majority of fit is like that. In my area, there's more old people than anything so my gym is empty a good chunk of the time and the pool only sees action when school is out or in the mornings with old people.

The inverse happened with me and swimming, it was very lonely so i fell into a meditation whilst doing laps, running kills my knees and every few minutes someone is in the way of the path which annoys me slightly.

This lifeguard club seems weird, no YMCA pool or youth center pool where you can possibly use a designated lane? I say this b ecause I think ottermode without lifting is very possible with swimming. Running seems to favor hungry skeleton mode.

I think I'm having difficulty worrying too much about the future rather than enjoying the present. I'm not sure if it had to do with me graduating high school and then not really finding many new friends in college or anything or maybe trying to hold on to old ones but it seems like all I can think about is that my life will be completely different 10 years from now and everything that I like about my life now will be different.

There's this girl I've been talking to and am interested in but part of all I can think about is that either in eventuality we either break up or get married, and I feel like I'm not ready for the finality of one partner forever (haven't had a gf before). At the same time I feel like if I want my life to progress I can't think about things in that way and just have to take one day at a time. But how can I manage future goals when it seems like it would jeopardize the present? By striving towards something different in the future, aren't I acknowledging that eventually the present will be gone? Or should I think about the present changing with me and not think about the "future" as some grand thing ahead of me?

Went to a party last night. My first one with my uni department students, and the first I had been to in 6 years. Haven't had more than 2 drinks in close to a year, and last night had about 7 and was feeling it. Crush was there, but I saw her dancing with some random dude so I didn't bother with her, and got in my feels.

Lifting is going ok. Hit a minor stall on my bench earlier this week, but I think I fixed the problems. Been neglecting my cardio though.

I miss my pupper who is staying at my mom's while I have some late work nights at my job before the holiday. But I'm also kind of not looking forward to bringing him back to my place because I'll have some training to do with him so I don't get kicked out of my apartment.

I'm ready for my job to be over though. As fun as it can be, I don't want to have to keep seeing the girl I like for several hours every day

>I don't want to have to keep seeing the girl I like for several hours every day

Ask her out ffs.

On the very slim chance she'd say yes, I'm not mentally ready to date anyone. Even if we just attempted a hook up, I can't into sex thanks to ED

quads of sadness

I've lost over 20 pounds of muscle in a year of not lifting and not making it behavior, but I'm working out again, and I've forgotten how amazing it feels when blood is engorging your muscles and you feel the pump coming back. My own body is congratulating me. Self reassurance feels good. It feels best when you are making yourself happy and getting stronger in the process.

> gym with a pool
Wow, I was paying like 70€ per month for my gym membership and it was already pretty luxury already, but a pool?
That's some next level shit right there.

And no, the only possibility for serious swimming for me is 30 minutes driving away and I know this would wear me down on the long run.
I'm pretty ok with what I'm doing now, some of the guys at work who do excessive running really look good, I'd kill for such a physique.
I'm the type that has an easier time gaining weight (fat) than losing it, so hungry skeleton mode would not really bother me that much since I know how easily reversable it would be for me.

That are some heavy thoughts. How old are you? Are you able to get a good job? Care to tell us some more about the girl? Also:
Same here. Can't get it up with a random girl that I have no stronger feelings for. Tried and it was both times awkward af.

> I don't want to have to keep seeing the girl I like for several hours every day
Understandable. Also loyality to a company sadly means shit nowaday so don't hesitate switching to a better job or quitting one that makes you feel miserable if you got the opportunity.

It's an addicting feeling. I love it on push and pull days. Feels like I put on body armor.

Getting a real good feel from this post, glad to hear man.
Wish I'd have developed the same addiction as you.
Even if you take a long break, I think there's something called "muscle memory" which makes you get into the loop again easier than when you first started.
It still sucks tho, but sounds like you made it. h5

...

>Tried and it was both times awkward af.
Tried it with 3 different girls all to the same effect, with varying levels of intoxication. One was even in the midst of a no fap period, and I still couldn't do it.

>Also loyality to a company sadly means shit nowaday so don't hesitate switching to a better job or quitting one that makes you feel miserable if you got the opportunity.
It's a temporary job. I work in my campus theatre on various productions, and the girl happens to be in this show. I love the work and for the most part the people involved, but unfortunately it means that I'll be around her in varying degrees until one of us graduates

My gym has a pool and a jacuzzi too.

60 dollars a month

>feels thread

I fucked up my no fap last night

All the gains, real or placebo, are gone. Happy to depressed in one day.

I don't care if it is placebo or not but it fixes me. I can't believe I fucked it up

I feel like my life is a drift. I feel I'm moving from one point to another and not really enjoying much of it. I have savings that 4 out of 5 people in my age group can't match, but waste my days not doing shit. I have an average qt girlfriend, but I enjoy her visits less then I've used to and I wonder if I just like being with anyone at all. When I was 13 we moved to a different country with a different language and I feel this severely impacted my ability to bond with people, short-term and long-term. As a result of that my social circle is wide but shallow - I make initial connections with people because I'm quick on my feet and find humor in many things, but I have a hard time making any plans ahead with people and barely anyone talks to me first. When I was double majoring, at least I had a feeling I was doing something (even when it was doing 4x10 hour days at the uni, then doing homework/playing video games for the remaining 3 days). This Christmas we're flying half the world to fucking Thailand and my internal reaction isn't hype or happy, it's just "oh I guess that's what we're doing".

At least I equalized my lifting stats to my personal PRs, so every improvement I do now is breaking a PR.

Does any of this make sense Veeky Forums?

>That are some heavy thoughts. How old are you? Are you able to get a good job? Care to tell us some more about the girl? Also:

I'm 20 right now, sort of struggling through college and kind of unsure about what I want to do, which makes things more confusing. I'm doing CIS right now which I am interested in and I can't think of anything I'd rather do instead, so for now it works for me. I'm a bartender at the moment at a local restaurant and I actually enjoy it, it's a local spot and the owners are great, I like all my coworkers and it's a nice spot. The girl just recently started working there and while I've heard from other people not to date your coworkers, I'm a virgin at 20 with not a lot of other prospects and she's interesting and qt so I figure fuck it, why not go for it you know?

The whole job thing is something I think about as well sometimes. I sometimes think about how it'd be nice to have a regular 9 to 5 office job where I would get paid well, benefits, wouldn't have to be in my feet all day, etc, but at the same time I just think about how isolated that kind of life can be. How just going to and from work can eat 2 hours of your day, how the routine just repeats. A lot of the time I think this is just my anxiety talking because, I'm 20, how could I know what that kind of life is like without living it? But it's something I think about.

I'm trying to adopt a more positive outlook on things in general because when I get in my own head I tend to overthink things but it can be difficult.

I also realize that compared to the other shit that others are going through (i.e. real risk of starvation, family abuse, loss of family, actual documented medical issues etc.) my problems are as non-issue as possible.

Which makes me feel like a first-worldy whiny bitch with a bunch of mountain-out-of-molehill non-issues.

Which is yet another thing on top of all that.

Anytime thought about doing this on a professional basis somewhere else?
Or are you still a student there?
Sounds like you enjoy it.

I have really mixed feelings about nofap. Tried it myself for a longer period, the first week was always great. Energized, motivated and all that. Then it dropped again to absolute zero for no reason. Seems to work for some people and for some not.
How long did you make it?

Shiet, that hit a bit close to home. I also have a hard time making male friends. Most people I meet are just so fucking boring. They feel like interactive scenery where I wouldn't care if they died the very next day. Which is strange because most of them tend to like me pretty quickly and would even consider me a friend. And I'm just like "meh".

Yes! Full on body armor.Thanks man. I do agree, after the initial week or so of getting into lifting again, all the little joys are coming back, bulking foods, the pump, tfwngf, all of it. I'm trying to not beat myself up over the past year, and treat it like a bad cutting period. I was a regular in powerlifting threads and this has been my place for years, coming back feels like coming back to old friends.

Still a student. And I do enjoy it. Enough so that one person's presence is going to deter me from being there. It's just a frustration , and no job is ever perfect.

I'll be doing some more professional work during the summer when our regular season closes. The school stuff is somewhat built around student schedules and is generally more flexible than the professional places, so it tends to be better to work there when classes are in

I feel like I'm turning wheels at the gym, but going nowhere.

It's the end of my 5th month of working out. I've gone from 310 pounds to 263, and my numbers have shot up steadily. I go to the gym, I lift my weights, I make new PRs, but I don't see the changes in my body the way I want to see them. I can tell my arms are getting better, I can see my shoulders progressing, my back, my legs, the pant sizes dropping, but my stomach and mantit fat are still persistent as ever. I feel better than I ever have, even when I was 210 in highschool with my gf, but I can't stand looking in the mirror. I can't stand wearing these 2XL t shirts anymore. I got a normal XL shirt from bodybuilding.com and I can fit into it, but the fat body I see in the mirror makes me want to stop.

I know this is just my winter depression coming through, since I get it every year, but it's hard to keep going. I just want to look passable.

>had loving and caring girlfriend
>relationship deteriorates, partly because of my alcohol problems and emotional unavailability
>she grows cold and distant
>obvious for weeks we're going to break up
>I'm the one who finally grows the balls to pull the trigger, was three months ago
>we're on good terms afterwards
>enter a rebound relationship with a new girl shortly after
>mostly a physical relationship, lack the emotional connection I had with my ex
>ex also finds someone else eventually
>we still keep in touch, mostly on snapchat

Then comes last night

>get snap from ex
>she's drinking with some friends
>I'm also drinking, answer "cheers" and a pic of my bottle
>she asks if I'm going out, reply no
>she asks me to join them, probably felt bad I was drinking alone again
>I figure what the heck and go to her apartment
>drink with her and two of her chick friends
>eventually go out
>I stumble onto some mates and lose the girls
>go home at closing time
>get a message from ex at closing time asking if they could come to mine
>say yes, the three girls and some guy I don't know come over
>drink with them and my housemate
>around 4 AM me and my ex are in my room having a heart to heart
>for some reason I'm opening up about all the stuff I've refused to talk about before
>best friend who killed himself, alcohol problems, everything
>the rest of the people go home, we talk for a long time
>cry for the first time since friends funeral
>hugging turns to making out, have sex
>she cries afterwards because she's in a relationship with this other guy
>feel closer to each other than ever though, at least I do

Shit lads, I think I'm falling in love with my ex again. We promised to act like it never happened as she really cares about this new guy. I also feel like a piece of shit for cheating on my gf, though I don't have strong feelings for her.

Thoughts?

An hero

two weeks

Cured my depression like 3 days in. Felt legit amazing. Like """europhic""". So happy. Tons of energy.

Fapped last night and I legit want to kill myself right now

DESU the next time I ejaculate, woman, fap, whatever is going to be because no fap gains are gone to 'reset'

This isn't worth it

You get dealt a shit hand every now and again, user. If you're really, truly falling in love with her, and least let her know where you stand. As for the cheating on your girlfriend part, you should have known better than to let it get that far with your ex.

You owe an explanation to your current gf regardless, because you have fucked up. Deal with those consequences, and then try and find peace with yourself.

> why not go for it you know?
In all honesty, this is only a good idea if it's foreseeable that one of you two will quit in some time.
Never fuck people you work with. This will end in a nightmare. I'm working an office job and I've seen it multiple times.
Women in general (also some men) can't separate work and private life on a longer basis in such a case.
It escalates horribly, they break up and from then it's always awkward af when they meet/see/have to work with each other.

> I just think about how isolated that kind of life can be
It really really depends on the type of job. I worked as IT helpdesk for a some years.
Got to help lots of people with their stupid problems which was nice, but never really felt like as if I got anything done.
Then I switched to software development and I'm having a blast. Creating software hundreds of people are gonna use gives me a kick.
But that's just an example m80. While being helpdesk I got around a lot in the company.
Lots of office jobs. Some looked extremely dull and boring (as did the folks who did them) and some actually seemed pretty interesting.
Also hugely depends on if you get along with your coworkers.

> I'm trying to adopt a more positive outlook on things in general
Good stuff. Keep it up. Believe me or not, this will improve by itself while you're getting older. Just keep yourself busy.

Lmao, posts are actually limited to 2000 characters, so I gotta split it up now.

People will always have problems man. That's just how life works. Just because yours are different from other ones won't make them have any less impact on you. As hard as it sounds, it's about you in the first place.

Since I'm suffering from similar feels I don't really have any good advice here.
I'm currently seeing a therapist, one of my best decisions lately.
Only talking about your problems with a professional who has an objective view on your life can already make a huge change. Most health insurances even cover that, depending on your country.

> all those good things coming back
And then there's:
> tfwngf
lmao that got me good. Nice being back to the [heavy feeling], isn't it?

Did you even read what you wrote there m8?
You lost a fuckload of weight, fit into smaller tshirts and get stronger.
Most fatfucks on 4chen would kill for a progress like that.

Do not check for changes on a daily basis, this is absolutely the worst you can do.
You see yourself everyday and sound like you don't like what you see, so it's hard for you to recognize any significant changes to your appearance.
But you know what's cool? Other people will tell you sooner or later. Those are the moments you're working out for.

I can't fucking eat fit. Literally no apetite and no desire to cook because my roomates all hate me and the kitchen is impossible to use without getting socially anxious about it.

I know it sounds retarded but this is causing me to lose most of my gains since it's finals week and I can't focus on my lifts either.

To be quite honest your current gf doesn't sound like good relationship material if it's only physical.
Then again getting back with your ex is the worst you can do.
I have yet to witness a case where this actually worked.
The best you can do imo is to completely cut all contact.
What do you expect to get out of a "friendship" like this?
You two are obviously not getting together again if she already developed feelings for the new guy.
Also what this guy here said .
Even though I think you owe your new gf shit, admitting it and apologizing is important for your own sanity.

No need to get all butthurt about that. You lasted longer than most on here.
Just start over again if you feel like it's good for you. That's okay.
Also here's a site I really like, which helped me a lot during my nofap.
> emergency.nofap.com/

> inb4 reddit
Yeah, most links are Reddit-threads. But there are actually some really decent subs on there, no matter what huge of a shithole 4chen claims Reddit is.

> Literally no apetite
So.. what do you do the moment you get hungry?
Or do you just not eat anymore until finals are over?

> it's finals week
What most guys on here don't get is that it's okay to pause lifting once in a while.
Why not? Your gains might have decreased a bit, but will come back in no time once you start again.
There's sometimes just shit that's more important than gains and finals might be one if them.

I have chronic Depersonalization and Derealization ask me anything

I know some of those words.
English is not my motherly language so I fear you gotta elaborate a bit here.

...

Almost didn't see your post here.
Congrats on the progression man, feels good.
Keep it up.

...

...

...

ton of stress, dad died, then I got assaulted while working as a bouncer

I was """literally shaking""" after being punched but I realized this in part happened because I am and must look like a dyel faggot. I wish it never happened and I didn't get this wake up call in the first place but I did get it and I think it'll be good as motivation when my discipline slacks.

I also wish I could have talked to my dad after what happened but oh well.

>Did you even read what you wrote there m8?

It might just be Veeky Forums fucking with me, but even knowing that I improved my squat by 220lbs in 5 months, I still feel so weak. I know I can do better, given time, but I want it now. I'm tired of being a fat fuck.

I guess I'll hang on until winter is over, and redouble the cutting efforts. Maybe one day I'll be able to post on CBT without being called a fatass. SOON.

Sorry to hear about your dad man.

Got assaulted on my way home once.
While walking through a park in the evening.

> some shady dude walks up to me and starts talking
> he's obviously drunk af
> pulls up his shirts and shows me a tattoo on the side of his waist
> says it means "fuck the wogs"
> starts going on how he thinks im a wog
If that's the right word, idk, someone who goes to foreign countries to fuck the girls there.
> mfw i was still a 20 y/o virgin at the time
> try to soothe him while i keep walking
> his phone starts ringing
> thank fucking god
> he falls behind, i keep walking
> suddenly he's right beside me
> an arm around my shoulder grabbing me while punching me in the face
> see stars
> try to break free
> somehow manage to shake him off
> i sprint away
> he yells for me to come back
> i didn't

Wow fuck, I was absolutely destroyed days after that. Mentally. Bled a bit from my nose, nothing big.
But I didn't even dare to go outside for the time.
I'm a pussy and suck at such confrontations, so I never could do a job like bouncer.

Isn't this very common in that field? Some drunk people tend to become the absolute scum once they're drunk.

I was thinking of quitting because a job where people, drunk or not, think it's ok to just hurt someone like that is scary as fuck. One punch kills exist and concussions to the head bring you closer and closer to memory problems.

I did the job for the money anyway, up until now I've had people who more or less act civilly even when drunk so this was such a bad surprise.

Take from Veeky Forums what improves your life and nothing else.
15% of advice here is really good while the rest is a mix of shitposts, insults, trolling and tfw-posts.
What you should do is taking naked full body progresspics of yourself.
Only for yourself. Don't show them to anyone, just make a new one every 30 days.
You'll see.

> It might just be Veeky Forums fucking with me
It might not only be, it's fucking exactly like that.
That's some great progress man, it will take a fuckload of time still but it will get better and better.
Until that one day where you're so slim every tshirt will look like its fucking tailored for you.

Keep it up.

Some people lose all restraint when too drank.
Fucking alcohol, man. I'm not a pothead either but you never have this shit around people who smoke weed.

I can imagine that this kind of job requires a big fuckyou-attitude, along with a "yeah whatever, shit happens" mentality.
It's definitely not made for a pussy like me. Maybe it's not for you either.
If you don't enjoy it, at least don't make it a long term thing.
> at least you got some lifting motivation out of it

...

I'd like to be that strong mentally but now that it has happened, the whole being injured thing isn't a very faint thought in my mind, it could happen any time.

>had to get my head knocked around twice for some motivation

fuck that guy hard but there is a silver lining I guess

also thanks I needed someone to talk to

Sure thing mate.
Also yeah, fuck that faggot.

...

...

...

OP here, I'm outta here, almost midnight.
Nice thread and evening for me desu, let's hope I could cheer up at least some of you.
Feel free to continue here if you wanna, I'm off to bed now.

Peace out, we're all gonna make it.

>People will always have problems man. That's just how life works. Just because yours are different from other ones won't make them have any less impact on you. As hard as it sounds, it's about you in the first place.

That I get, but it feels kinda patronizing when I'm approaching someone who I know is struggling with worse things to ask for advice on my comparably lower impact crap.

>I'm currently seeing a therapist, one of my best decisions lately.

Would you elaborate? I like lifting as therapy because it's an area of life where you can have a quantifiable progress - whereas therapist therapy would be much harder to set goal lines for.

Not good, I mean I'm on my finals week and I'm not able to go and study, It's funny, I have gone to the gym without a problem but I still don't have the discipline to study, the pressure is too much

Hey man.

Today i set PRs on squat and bench.
200lb squat and 155 bench.

I know those numbers arent huge but it was surprisingly easy. The only change i made was eating more chicken last week. Pls no bully. Im pleased with myself. I want to squat lmao2pl8 before 2017

>Car gets totalled in a hit and run by a drunk driver last week
>fully paid off get 9k from insurance settlement
>parents throw me a bone because they love me and I'm a school teacher that does a lot of outside volunteer work
>Just bought a 2017 Subaru Outback with cash today
>tfw no gf
>I haven't seen her for weeks because of my work and internship schedules
>At least I have my dog
>lifting is going well though

I've been stress eating like a madman. I binged almost every day this week. But today, I'm within my limits and did extra cardio. I'm going to get myself back on track. Can't give up.

>tried to hike the Pacific crest trail but got injured
>on month four of recovery
>almost out of money
>been applying everywhere but nothing
>wanna go to CC and transfer but no idea on how to do that

At least my gains are going well

Well then, i do find myself in a pretty shitty mood today so maybe my story might fit in this thread quite accurate. I don’t usually post on Veeky Forums cause I’m quite new here (although like lurking Veeky Forums for a good 8-9 years) so here goes my first greentext so bear with me a bit.
>be me, around 10 years old
>daddy is a diddely drinker and sticking his doodle in other woodles
>mom engages divorce
>shit starting to really hit the fan, more violence at home (luckily just smashing things up no UFC action for all I can remember)
>move to new flat while divorce is fucking hard on everybody (duh) and this one should go on for like 5 fucking years! Although later pressing charges against me so let’s make it 15
>mom doesn’t feel so good all of a sudden, everybody thinks it’s just the burden and the strain of raising to kids alone + divorce
>well what to say, it’s ovary-cancer
>no shit, what else
>luckily everything went ok with operations and so on, but life was really enjoyable at times
>don dickhead (a.k.a. my father) constantly pressing charges and suing for not having to pay or paying less alimony
>nigga we be sleeping on a couch.exe (but we soon afterwards got a bed, I just had to sleep in a room with my mother till I was like 13 before my bro went to university)
>Lol crying mom all through the nights those where the days my friends
>“Annon you must study hard and be a lawyer or something similar someday, be like your brother and study hard” cause bro was acing everything in school and later in med school, now bad ass surgeon, but way to go for me, I struggled with learning but tried and did my hardest to also be good at school
>lol what’s pressure.png
>wasn’t allowed to go out or have a girlfriend
>mfw white as white can be but full blown asian mode

(this going to take a while)

continued
>whelp there go my teenage years, while others were out having fun and banging chicks and making bad decisions from which they could learn I worked almost every summer break for money and the shit I wanted to have, oh yeah and playing games all day, damn you morrowind…
>finally around the age of around 17 meet a decent bro in school (cause I switched schools afterwards all my “friends” were gone and there weren’t that much normal dudes in my class either, just other geeks like me not going out or just playing table soccer at the bar)
>he recently joined a martial arts gym and I decided to try it (although I had a very good base physique I never did any sports because I just had study and making everyone proud on my mind…looking back if I just started doing anything from young age...well too late so fuck it)
>OMG working out is a fuckton of fun
>Gym trainer based as fuck
>bro and me hitting it like bobby brown did with whitneys face
>soon becoming the 2 aspiring young fighters for the gym, getting in national team and shit
>and along comes molly
>short time before graduating, started to get into the whole “you can be more than friends with girls” kind of thing, before molly came there were 2 girls I got it on with (just kissing and a little bit of grabbing them no-no-parts)
>mfw they both just dumped me out of nowhere and shortly after got railed like the local subwaystation (like I shit you not, with everybody….oh yeah and then they had the nerv to call me when they got dumped for having humongous vaginas)
> Molly was cool, Molly was sweet, Molly loved me and I loved Molly, qt3.14 long blond brown hair, brown eyes, girl was thick as(s) fuck, them double d’s…oh yeah and Molly had a boyfriend that wasn’t me
>I had a thing going with them other girls, she with him, we together with each other…damn the sex was cash

continued
>and during my finals all that girl shit had me emotionally so worked up, along with other shit I had to deal with that I fucked up my finals….straight A student for years but when it counts….REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>shortly after graduation came the draft for me, lol military
>mfw being away from home and from her
>she went to uni and I went into the mountains
>welcome to the suck.gif
>come home on a free weekend where she also had days of
>something ain’t right and it’s not because of her boyfriend
>Molly got raped by some fellow in the city
>I don’t want to feel this feel bros…not them feels
>to wrap it up I just say that shit what came after was apocalyptic in ever way
>feels were had, fights and all sorts of things…I fucked up, she fucked up (all in all she was the one cheating, I know now that this was never meant to be)
>she decided to stay with her man, I left and let them be (seriously dodged a bullet though, molly now has to kids from 2 guys lel)
>in conclusion to that, before I reached the wise and almighty age of 20, I got sluts, I got hoes and I got motherfucking bitches
>Mental health was not going good, alongside yearlong serious depression and building it all up inside to not cause any troubles for the family (yeah I was the stereotypical silent kid) I just didn’t have the motherfucking guts to go to my trainer and talk with him and get help…he was the father I never had
>But what does a stupid 18 year old know who got shit for brains and thinks he fell in love
>Training for worldchampionchips I had a huge argument over some stupid shit with him and then just left it all
>Gym Bro my best bro, we now university and shit in the same room and shit
>I go for med school he for physics
>lol didn’t pass the entry test to med school, losing a year of my life studying biology for the maximum learning for med entry test, bro also switches to biology cause he wants to go to med school all of a sudden too

continued
>We now switched the gym because of new city obviously, although when at home gym bro continues to go to our home gym
>why am feeling that I just lost an entire family?
>don’t think about it too much, new gym, new family
>and what a family it became
>to this point in my life everything revolves around sport and study
>and one day she appears
>Until I draw my last breath in this miserable shitfest I call life I will never forget her standing in that hallway
>eyes with a deep sea blue, snow white skin, jet black long hair and a maidens body
>…
>and by great odins beard what a fucknugget I was
>she was head over heels for me, kissed the ground where I walked and on top of that had a 10/10 doggo ( I fucking looooooove animals)
>from the beginning I told her that I was not over my previous relationship and I told her the whole story about me (not all regarding daddy and his adventures to liquor town but you catch my drift) but nevertheless she wanted me…and I wanted someone
>let’s skip a few years, I’ll give a short summary: got in to med school, pressure just massively exploded, depression got more severe, daddy-o not paying them bills, I struggle with sport and she….annons for the love of all I made this woman cry and I just can’t forgive myself for it…she just couldn’t do anything while all things around me got worse…at the and I couldn’t pass a test at med school at the first to tries which meant I had to do another year which I couldn’t afford, my gym bro wasn’t that much of a bro after all, he now is nearly finished with med school I heard a time ago and now doing semi-pro to pro matches…and at the end I had to quit it all and then after a half year search of what to do I decided to take up a trade and that I did…
>workplace near my girlfriends house, so while she is studying during the week I work and we get to see each other at weekends

continued
>one winters day while out in the woods snow shoe hiking with my love and doggo, suddenly sirens (in my country that mostly happens during the season when an avalanche hits them skiers with like 20 tons of frozen bullshit)
>lol nope if only
>Her dad picks us up on the other side of the mountain
>”Annonette…..Annon is dead”
>It was her brother
>he got hit by a train on his way home from school….like 20 meters away from their house….he was 10 years old
>Long story short, was not that great of a time
>problem is she has a very…how can I put it…I’m lacking the vocabulary forgive me so I just say that she has a very unhealthy relationship with her family
>Her mom never left home, runs her fathers company, they do spoil her with a nice life but also like expect her to kiss their feet and stay at home like her mom did…it’s really fucking complicated
>at that time I maned the fuck up and got some psychological help (cause my new workplace was reeeeeaaally fun and on top of that I lost another “gym family” when I left the other city) and I lost my entire being for her completely
>she was my family my one and only and I loved that stupid fucking dog…running for 10-15km through the mountains and woods with him, swimming, hiking…sleeping in impossible positions to just not wake the fucker up…like he was literally parking his balls on my pillow but that motherfucker snoring was just to cute
>After her brothers death she started to change…slowly but she did….she got very very uncomfortable with her body and I respected that and we stopped having sex, because I loved her and I didn’t want to force anything on her…she started to have a serious fear of losing the doggo because she witnessed how fast it all could go…she had a fucking boss at the university constantly fucking with her shit, she had to be the good girl for her family, she felt guilty for not being around for the doggo 24/7 and she felt guilty about me

continued
>I loved her and I changed for her sake, meds are working, therapy is working, I have a job and education going and I just did everything for her, the first 2 years I was a dick and she couldn’t help me, now she needed me and man I did everything I could
>for 3 years the only time I was a human being and alive was on the weekends…only when she was there…
>Dezember 2015 my apprenticeship was nearly over and man I was a good fucking apprentice winning prices and shit, who knew….she has grown colder now…much more colder
>everyone here knows the feeling when you’re surrounded by people and you just feel so lonely and like no one is there?
>I was lying in the bed with the person on the planet I most hold dear…the only one that made all of this just go away…up until I met her I only felt alive when I was bruised and bled and every muscle in my body hurt…but her eyes opening in the morning while looking at me…she had that gaze annons…it just didn’t hurt anymore
>lying a few centimeters away from her I could almost reach her…but there was this wall...i talked with her every month “what’s wrong, what did I do, what did I not do, did something happen…just let me help you….just let me love you….just love me…again”…
>pressing my face into my doggos fur everytime he noticed I was awake late at night was the only thing that held my tears back….and since the day the divorce was filed I never ever cried all those years
>I was pretty down that time, I caught a pretty bad virus, had to work my ass off because work was pretty damn stressing the company, my daddy-o sued me for like 30 000€ because of the millions I made as an apprentice so why pay for my education…not like I slept on the floor for a few months and barely could afford one hot meal a day when I started working there cause I had to buy a fucking car and rent a flat and all that shit with everything I saved up from the time I was fucking 12 years old…

continued
>fucking hate that son of a fuck
>now comes the good part so brace yourselves lads because the story is ending…
>we didn’t see each other for 4 weeks straight, I had to work on a few occasions, all the other times she did stuff with the doggo (she is a dog trainer and fucking good at that) but nevertheless she was avoiding me
>after running away from me for 1 whole month she said the words I never believed I would ever hear from her…up until this moment both of us planned out the future together, moving in together, she’ll work for her Phd while I get busy with crafting all them goodies, getting another doggo…we also talked allot about having a baby when we were all done with our educational goals…I already fucking had the blueprints for her engagement ring (blacksmith here)…
>”we should meet and we need to talk”
>no
>no
>no no no no NO…fucking shit no
>she left me 4 days before christmas…she said she felt like suffocating…all that pressure around her, from her family, the university, taking care of super doggo…and last but not least me…she said she felt like she wanted to drag me out of the swamp I was in when she met me…she wanted to always be with me, being a family, having kids…she thought she could do it…but instead of getting me out she got stuck too…and after I managed to make a turn and after all I did to make it up, she created that space to put herself back together…and on the way…she cut all ties towards me
>all the love and all this passion…she just forgot it all…
>I can’t simply deal with all this feels
>with one decision I lost everything I had…I only moved their because of her and now I don’t have anyone around anymore…I am now truly alone
>she’s gone and so is my beloved doggo….i miss them so…I miss them so so much

>pic more than fucking related, my doggo

About a year ago I was in the worst state of my life. Anxiety, sleeping in my car, no income, oneitis, fat and all that shit. Today im doing so much better. Got some friends, a room, my computer, a job, my MIND is back. Messing around with two girls who both care about me. Today I create the life I want to live. I feel like a fucking baws. I make jokes by myself and laugh at them, I'm different but better then society and their bullshit ways. Most important thing is I can sense the intention of people and look out for myself and my wellbeing.

I guess I'm just afraid to loose it. Ultimately all I can do is gain and maintain.

friend i know this is a storytime thread but tl;dr this shit

continued
>2016 I moved back to my hometown, currently I’m in my old room, by the end of 2017 I’ll go abroad to a Art school, they have a metal design branch where I’ll focus on developing my skills
>last I’ve heard from her is that she’s graduating with her masters degree in January and then moving to the capital for her Phd…we’ll be approximately 900-1000km apart (to lazy and to depressed to look up the actual distance so sue me)
>every day I wake up with her on my mind, I eat with her on my mind, I work with her on my mind, I go to sleep with her on my mind
>is she seeing someone else? Does she ever think about me? Who snuggles with my doggo when she’s not around? Did he already forget about me?
>when you love someone you give them a part of yourself and vice versa…you make each other whole…when she left she tore away the last thing that held this already damage mind together
>I love them so much it hurts just being alive
>to die for someone is very very easy…I love her so much that I will live for her

>pic related it's her

Well all I can say to you guys…if you have people you like, if you have people you love and that are important to you…lads just fucking tell them what you feel about them…life takes away the things you hold dear very easy…
Maybe I’ll stop by at my old Gym, telling the old man that he was more than a father to me like my real one ever was and that I love him for that and that I’m sorry for what I’ve done…stubborn old bastard…

I struggle with depression but I wanted to share some good feels with you fellas.

>Last year of college
>Stronger than ever
>Look like I lift
>Been getting laid
>Got a sweet job as a programmer despite shit gpa
>elected to leadership position in one of my extracurriculars
>General upward trajectory

I still struggle with self-isolation and self-hatred. I think I'm in the conscious incompetence spectrum of becoming the man I want to be, which sucks on the surface but I'm happy to be seeing areas in my life where I can be more confident, more capable, and a better person.

We're all gonna make it, brahs.

that's it finished

Regarding sports I don’t know if I ever pick up martial arts again, the Gyms I joined became really like family and I lost two of them already…that hurts lads, not seeing all your bros, beating each other up and having a giggle afterwards…
While working near my ex girlfriends I took up rock climbing, well that is out of the picture now because I moved away and driving to the nearest climbing center (without my climbing buddies) is not really funny either
I started weightlifting 2 weeks ago…man am I weak as fuck (1, 80m tall, 70kg weight)….for the bench I can do 95kg for one rep with everything I got, my workset is 75 to 80kg, squat I can only do 55kg for good 5x5 (yes I’m a dyel, gtfo blah blah blah), deadlifts 110kg and for OHP I can do 40kg…
I never did any weightlifting before and must say it is really fun to do and I love to struggle, hope I can improve fast because not even a 1pl8 squat is pathetic but man is it fun

Guys we all have a roof over our heads (I hope so at least) and food on the table…and finally

We are all gonna make it

2016 was a motherfucker, 2017 will be even more of a motherfucker

good night lads, happy lifting

No gym in this last two weeks because uni, not finals or shits, just tasks and dancing.

PR were fucking great, but too much fatigue.
Gf is just even more beautiful each day, but she has some money issues and might drop college, if she does we would have to break up.
Feeling as if as time passes I have less and less friends, less and less family, less and less fun.

Planing to get a job after finals so I can help my gf and myself. Something like dominos pizza, did some volunteer last summer and that shit counts.
Everything is neither bad nor good, I just need time to go by.

Sorry about my english, but been like 2 years since I last went to an english class or even watched a film in english, it gets worse every month.

Fat user back to share more troubles.

I fucked a PR squat up on Monday (missed the rack and basically pinned myself to the ground) and thought everything was fine. Turns out my lower left back muscles took a lot of the tension, so today was the first day in almost 6 months I just turned around and walked out of the gym after attempting to do a lift I already cleared (300 lb DL 3x5) . Feels like shit man.

Great life story, mate.

>25 years old
>kissless, autistic permavirgin weirdo shut-in with no friends
>never been to a bar in my life even though i attended college, that's how autistic i am

>job is having a "holiday party" which is just a happy hour at a bar on friday after work, like 30 coworkers
>i talk to my coworkers but never eat lunch with anyone, talk to them outside of work, etc
>a few of them have asked if i'm going, but clearly more of a "lol lets see how this aspie acts at a bar" rather than a "we want you here with us"

>know that if i went there i'd have no idea how to behave in one, would sit in the corner like a deaf mute not talking to anyone to not expose how pathetic my life is (which is why I don't talk to anyone as is), get drunk/buzzed off like 2 meme drinks like a white russian or scotch or something, and just be the laughingstock of work even more than i am already and them probably pointing at women in the bar saying user GO TALK TO THAT GIRL LOL

How much do you guys think hiring a hitman to kill me would cost?

no one cares about you as much as you think they do you self-obsessed faggot

once you realize this and accept it and quit being afraid to look like an idiot, you'll be fine. that's how normies did it and that's how you'll do it, they just have a head start.

but "normies" don't have anything to feel self-conscious or stupid about. ive had the things that i posted about happen to me before.

"normies" just act normally in situations like this so what do they have to fear looking stupid about

You've lived your life as a coward, no sense in dying like one. By the way this is what I tell myself

>tfw my crush just got a bf