If I had one alcoholic drink right now I would fall asleep and die, I have several bottles in my room...

>want to have a slightly altered state of mind because so bored
>don't want to ruin gains with alcohol
>planning on joining military next year so don't want to smoke weed
>Adderall won't let me fall asleep
>acid is too hard to come by

Just fuck my shit up, senpai.

>one drink from death
>able to form coherent thoughts
>able to type them in and transmit them to a liberian scatological image board

Aw shit man. You just binging or have an addiction? I just ate a bunch of codeine. Talk to me, brother.

Opiates are amazing if you have the willpower to not get addicted.

I've had quite a lot this week, really builds up in your system, no addiction though.

xanax

acid isn't that hard, where you at?

Yeah dude, with constant use you build up a tolerance real quick.

Why are you eating it? Bc youre bored or you tryna cope with something?

Trying to break my alcohol addiction, doc says I could have cirrhosis now, no better way to break an addiction than knowing I'll die if I do it again.

True man. I know im just some random on the internet, but be careful about benzo addiction too. Withdrawals from that shit can be real nasty.

Do you have any other coping mechanisms? My life isnt all that shitty but whenever im feeling terrible I go to the gym and that helps a lot. And I guess just having people you can talk to helps also

Alcohol has been my cope for years now, I don't have any friends

Why dont you have friends? Not meant as an insult btw, genuinely curious

try dxm

Just give off the quiet weirdo vibe I think, had a couple of friends back in highschool that was the last friends I had, I take care of my appearance and hygiene but I just don't know what's wrong, I come across weird and people have always treated me different.

having friends suck unless they are real bro-tier friends desu. Gf/wife is the only thing that matters, I think

Fagit

Hard to get a gf with no friends

What a hottie.

If she just showed more of the bottoms it would be an even better photo.

Do you want friends?

Man when I was in highschool it was pretty standard to pop 2 bars and drink a pint. Did plenty more than that too, you'll be right.

If he's been on for a week then he's had a lot more than 2 bars. You build up a benzo tolerance super quick. I know an addict popping 20 val at a time just to feel anything from them.

I've not had any for years but recently a work colleague gave me a ride home as I can't drive, blasted music and he drove like a retard, was pretty fun and reminded me of old times.

The military won't know you smoked weed fag

You should try talking to him man!

I met my best friend because I saw that he recently got fit and we started messaging over facebook about lifting and lifting memes/jokes. Maybe 5 years later he's the closest ive ever been with someone emotionally/mentally. Is there something stopping you from talking to people? I have a few friends that are 'weird' but I dont realy care. I think the biggest thing about having true friends is just being genuine and honest.

I cant really connect with anyone, I think I can reach the acquaintance stage with people but everyone just sees me as a somewhat invisible weirdo with nothing to say.

bro I've ate a disgusting amount of xanax don't lecture me

Cut ties with every one first week out of high school went straight to work. I now have a fishing buddy I met at work and thats it.

Have you ever tried? Really put yourself out there. Even if youre just sitting there, you can still make freinds in a group. Or you can put yourself in 1 on 1 situations where youre forced to talk. If youre trying to integrate into a group, eslf-deprecating humour can work really well, just try not to overdo it too much

sorry for my typing, im fucking flying off of opi's right now

Im the same. I really enjoy the fact that after school, you really start to realise that you arent FORCED to be friends with anyone. You can start to find people you genuinely connect with

I honestly just like being alone or at least I think I do. I don't know man I think I'm just depressed.

dnp?

They already know he posted that.

I've tried countless times, went down the college/university route but ended up being shunned by my peers. Tried to spread my wings via tinder and trying to get girls but that didn't work either. Tried to make friends at my old job but just as I thought I was making progress I found out they all went out on nights out to bars together without me, swear I caught them talking about me once too.

Hey guys...

My life has been nothing but fucked up. I have so many issues i think I may be mentally illed. Once in a blue moon I slowly start to fix my shit up but always end up fucking up. I'm so scared that I will just end up in those mental hostipals as a loony. Theres no future in that, I might as well just die. I feel like im only functionablely insane.

All the god damn time. Usually its my fault, sometimes somebody does something to me or something bad just happens. I havent really had a real period of my life where I can say I was "happy". Most of my "happiest" moments were just my dopamine levels reacting to whatever drugs im on. Everyday I feel like this "weight" is getting heavier and heavier. I can never stay motivated or anything. I made shit gains this year because i am just tired from working 24/7 so I dont go to the gym like I used to. Working out used to help alot but now it just makes me even more tired. I've been on Veeky Forums for years and I am utterly ashamed when I see progress pics even minor ones while I'm still a weak lanky skeleton.

I'm just so tired of everything. I just need somebody to tell me things will be okay.

Please. I know it is pathetic and cringeworthy but I just don't have anybody else but you complete strangers.

I understand man. Have you tried seeing a professional? There's no shame in it. Remember that depression is a physiological disorder, and there ARE drugs you can take to treat it.

People do that man. You wont be invited out every time unless youre close with them. Make it your own initiative to invite people out and make plans, once youve bonded you'll get the invites.

ALSO, people gossip. Legitimately everyone gets talked about behind their back. You just gotta learn to not care.

This all being said, if you dont like the people then dont bother trying to make friends with them. The whole point of friendship is finding people you like that you can help each other improve, and generally just spend time together and have fun

Yo dude, if your job is making you unhappy, drop the amount of hours youre working. Your priority ALWAYS is yourself. You cant look after anyone else unless youre looking after yourself first.
Like in I recommend you see a professional. Theres 0 shame in it whatsoever, and theyre not going to put you in a looney bin.

Get help. Theres no shame. Talk to someone. Talk to a professional. Please

I cant drop hours. I have to pay rent and i have to eat.

The main problem isnt even the job. I am mentally ill. I have differe t personalities. I am very paranoid and I have delusions.

I am just a very self aware crazy person and yes we do exist. But I feel like it is getting worse to the point I wont even be able to function and have a job or socialize with my friends, etc.

I will consider talking to a professional, I dont know why but I just cant bring myself to it. I know its fucking dumb

A professional will probably diagnose your hypochondria and you'll have to face the realization that you're not some uniquely crazy snowflake, you're just a whine-tit little manchild.

Cook some mescaline up bro

Why dont you want to? You HAVE to consider your illness as an illness. There are drugs that can treat it. Anti-psychotics, anti-depressants.

Those types of drugs have a huge stigma against them for fucking you up even more, but I can assure you that the more modern drugs are very effective with minimal sides. Its only the old archaic drugs that arent that good.

Still though id advise you research yourself any drug youre recommended to take before you do, but dont do research on forums. Do it on reliable websites such as wikipedia and even look at medical journals.

Please talk to a professional brah. You're gunna make it, I believe in you. You just gotta take the first step. Call up your GP and make an appointment. There's nothing to be afraid of.

Tell me about it user knowing I can drive to the desert and off myself at anytime is real freedom.. although I'd probably do a bunch of drugs before I did

Lmao i am in the military and smoke weed when im on vacation. Dont be a dipshit

this

all this drama posting because you took 5 xanax and think you would die if you drank a beer? wew lad profound points you made. btw you'd absolutely live and most likely you'd throw up then pass out.

I used to drink 12 shots on top of 4 xanax all the time at 135 lbs. Grow the fuck up pussies. Nothing's gonna kill you, nobody has ever died, nobody will ever die, death is a meme.

Kratom is the shit but i read it turns you low test

>Infinite reality theory

I agree, I've 'died' many times.

WisDOMS

It was just a joke, but I guess that's a real thing.

Thank you.

NYC

This.

You guys are fuckin idiots. I ate 100 valium and 50 xan bars with 30 shots and then IV heroin and I didnt die. Lmao pussies amirite boys?!

Why does life have to be so difficult?

would take toe ring off with mouth /10

tfw you will never get to do this

just order acid on dnm, probably the safest drug to get delivered since its basically just paper

i bet those socks smell wonderful

You can alway kill yourself

If I had one bullet to the brain right now I would die, I have several guns in my room, that is real freedom bros, the power to know you have an exit door staring you in the face and your life could end with one choice. That's real freedom.

iow ur a retard get fukt faget

>. Legitimately everyone gets talked about behind their back. You just gotta learn to not care.

This, I'm a super awkward and weird guy myself. I've joined the Army and you wouldn't believe the amount of bitching and gossip that goes on behind your back.
This job has taught me that the easiest way to stop caring what people say and therefore make them less likely to talk shit is just to talk to them and start off by making jokes at my own expense.
I failed a fitness test when I first joined and was ridiculed for a while. Then I went up to a group and made some stupid joke about being out of breath just walking over to them.
I found a common interest and when someone mentioned the gym, I asked if I could tag along because I have NFI what I'm doing there.
Now I hang with the same group pretty much all day every day and they're some of my closest friends.
You start to see that everyone has something weird and awkward about them and if they don't they tend to be pretty boring people. Make jokes about yourself and no one else will bother doing it.
Even if you do see a professional (and if you've thought about it, it's probably a good idea), that doesn't have to be something to hide. I know a lot of people might see someone and never mention it to anyone but (and here comes a shitty motivational poster quote) it's the shit that you've been through and overcome that makes you a better person.
I have no interest in talking to someone who's had an easy life with no issues. That sounds fucking boring. I'd much rather talk to someone who's all messed up or who has been in the past and see what lines I can draw between their life and my own.
There are things you can change and things you can't. The stuff you can't change, just own them and I guess accept it to a point where you can just make fun of it.

Or maybe you're normal and tell yourself those things to be a special snowflake

Fuck off with your edgy altruistic pretend enlightenment. How is this fit related. Shove your fedora up your ass.

Just fucking do it, instead of clogging up a fitness board with your diary