You can go back in time and give your younger self Veeky Forums related advice. What do you say?

Don't try and be "alternative" by quitting sports. Focus on hard work.

>There's ones are less like yuri and more like lesbians stealing your thunder.

kill yourself and save yourself and everyone around you the heartache and disappointment

>gymnastics
tried this nonsense once

say goodbye to your joints

just bee yourself

Stop looking at porn.

cmon dude thats a shitty way to think

wanna have a hug?

t. wannabe viking

"You didn't bruise your tailbone, it's an internal pilonidal cyst, go get it taken care of before they have to remove a large portion of your lower back."

Actually work out...and floss. Defiantly floss.

BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF

Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT

Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

W-what?

>Tell her how you really feel and stop pushing her away, you won't hurt her anymore

Fucking lift at 16, dont get into a LTR with that fat bitch and get your heart broken by her multiple times by age 21

stop being a faggot

End of the day, something is gonna take us out.

Might as well have something to show off instead of random squat shitter. And besides, the flexibility would lend itself into yoga as well.

>There's ones are less like yuri and more like lesbians stealing your thunder.

Who are these faggot mods that are deleting everything?

Plenty of advice but the only Veeky Forums related thing would be

STOP
FUCKING
MASTURBATING
SO
FUCKING
MUCH

Non Veeky Forums advice would be
>Don't lose contact with J. She'll get obscenely hot and won't turn into a Stacy like the rest of her friends.

>Don't swap your loyal nerdy bros for retarded wannabe bad boys

>Talk with your half bro more often. It might save his career and his family.

>advice

M
E
W

Kill yourself
It does not get better

Nobody has a fucking tolerance to caffeine you idiot. Not the way you think they do. People who don't think it dose anything for them are either ingesting it in small amounts or ingesting it every god damn day. Ever wonder why everyone cries "muh aniexty" ?! It's because eveeyonrs addicted to a fucking stimulant. Get off of it for 1 week and see how good it feels. Im not saying you have to quit your favorite drinks. I'm just saying to cut back after the initial detox. Like only 2-3 caffeinated beverages a week and never more then 200mg a day

>There's ones are less like yuri and more like lesbians stealing your thunder.
Come again?

>stack up on highly questionable boosters, get stinking rich by selling it to edgy polo lanklets later
>do not get that one certain gf, will end in misery
>yes the above is Veeky Forums related because without her some medical issues would not have happened
>cheap whey is the devil for your colon, buy good stuff or just eat clean you humongous faggot
>Gironda based stuff is not as gay as certain friend will tell you
>SLEEP MOAR FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

and like 200+ non-Veeky Forums-related but why even bother

Put down the energy drinks, pre workout, and soda, and step away slowly. Also, invest in bitcoin

"Being a virgin is only a big deal if you make it a big deal. Don't sweat it and before you know it, you'll have found the girl for you!"
This is a lie. Do not take this advice. Punch this person in their lying snake mouth. Oh wait, you can't because you have skinny bitch arms and no girl will ever look at you twice because of them. Yes, it's a big deal. Yes, you should be panicking. No, you will not enjoy life by "not sweating it." Start lifting right now. Eat 3000 calories and 160g of protein a day. Now. Do it now. Do it or you will literally kill yourself.

>sleep more
>stop being a pussy
>start lifting at 16
>don't worry you won't stay 5'2
>your face will get better
>talk more to your dad before he dies
>stop eating like shit
>calisthenics won't get you ripped if you do it once every 2 week
>stop being autistic and overanalytic
>don't give a fuark if they make fun of you and go to the gym anyways
>listen to your mom about the tounge posture
>STOP MOUTHBREATHING

This. Also,
>anxiety will worsen before it gets better after quitting caffeine.
>panic attacks are likely to ensue
>heart palpitations are also likely for the first couple weeks (really really bad ones)
Pls, pls put down the caffeine before it really adversely affects you. I've never felt worse in my life

invest in bitcoin while at the gym.

still Veeky Forums because its the gym

>advice to past self
>you will literally kill yourself
>i.e. ded now

2spooky

>There's ones are less like yuri and more like lesbians stealing your thunder.
Wtf

Start lifting in high school. Take the strength training class you're able to take instead of some other elective you never made use of.

Also become better friends with the strong guy who ends up becoming a professional strongman

punch back, faggot

>not shedding your mortal flesh prison and possessing your computer so you can shitpost for eternity

Don't pussy out of the military
Serve four years
Go to college for free after for either finance or marketing
Live a great middle class life
Unless you want to end up in rural Nebraska for literally no reason hating each and every day since you have to work a garbage fucking job, gave up all your friends, and paying off 40k worth of debt because you thought moving around and not having goals was a good fucking idea

teach me your transcendental memeing senpai

Fuck what your parents want

Do what you want

Quit overthinking everything.

>calisthenics is the bee’s knees and don’t let anybody convince you otherwise
>fuck S _immediately_ after first contact, no need to get swole to impress first and it will be too late when you finally are
>K is juicing hardcore how can you not see that you twat, get better bros
>do not slack uni because sleep deprivation of hurrying it later will kill gains
>jelqing does work but only for flaccid length and erect girth, both of which are of no discernible use to you (us?) in the end
>H does anal, will help your mental health to know that beforehand
>bearmode implies gay porn

More than I anticipated.

You okay dude?

>girth is of no use
excuse me

recommence boxing training but aim for heavyweight this time from the get go, it will be so much easier in the long run

also gym in new place you’ll move to is subpar entry level dyel garbage and the owner will try and hit on you and get really mad if you don’t love him back. avoid either at all costs

>pic somewhat related

You guys got me worried, I drink coffee sometimes but only when I feel like drinking coffee. Is it really that bad?

”more“ girth is not, at this point. already rocking a chode and struggling heh

"Read the sticky."

did he fluster your funhole?

njet. and not for lack of trying either.

>4/10 trainer
>and completely awful human being otherwise
>inb4 would have gladly put out for 9/10 powerlifting advice

Don't post that picture because the mods will delete it.

They are either trolling or read one too many Batman comics and now think they have to deny themselves any form of pleasure to be healthy.

>Start doing sports much, much earlier in life. It will lift that shitty brain foggy state of yours, and allows you to think clear.

>There's ones are less like yuri and more like lesbians stealing your thunder.

Get into jelqing
Beg mom for orthodontics
Weight loss is all about eating less

squats are not enough, make sure you do direct quad work

you are not doing enough volume

if you want hypertrophy, do a hypertrophy routine

you are not doing enough volume

>Beg mom for orthodontics

the feels are overwhelming me

Don't stay home all day playing video games and eating cookies. Don't drop swimming.

Get on tranny pills asap