Awkward gym interactions

>new gym over xmas break
>spotting a bro
>some jacked old guy comes over
>YOU ARE DOING IT ALL WRONG LET ME SHOW YOU
>WHY ARE YOU SPOTTING HIM
>HOW OLD ARE YOU? I'VE BEEN HERE FOR 30 YEARS
>try to explain I'm helping his form
>barely speak a word before he interrupts me again
>YOU NEED TO DO THIS AND THAT
>ONLY SPOT ON THE LAST FEW REPS
>guy he's working with starts butting in too about how he's always right
>basically tell him to shut up and we get it

He started trying to organise our next exercises and sets too. Weird as fuck. I know he's probably trying to be helpful but he assumed we knew nothing. Had a chat with him later and he realised I wasn't DYEL.

You must look dyel

A couple days ago I farted while on the bench press.
It wasn't some small fart either, it was a "you just shat yourself" kind of fart.
The good think is I didn't shit myself and only a couple of men benching a couple meter away where at the gym at the moment. I heard them laughing but I don't care about what some fat fuck who doesn't do full ROM thinks.
Finished my sets and leaved.

>he does full ROM
Enjoy you are fucked up shoulders

>you are
you're****

your*

*yous

*you'res

>Bunch of dyels in my fucking gym
>literally 30 years older than them
>kid has 1pl8 and a 10lb on each side shaking for 5 reps while his friend does BB curls mid rep with him
>explain he shouldn't need to spot the entire time
>kid says he's helping form
>almost slap the skinny jeans off him right there and then
>explain what they need to do to succeed
>stop fucking spotting him the entire time
>my friend comes over after finishing 3pl8 for reps no spot
>he calls me grandpa and whips out one of those ipads
>posting on this fucking forum

am I doing this correctly?

Ive always wanted to do this

>doing 135 lb dyel power cleans on platform
>qt azn girl doing snatches across from me
>"so, do you Olympic lift"
>Don't want to reveal I'm only doing them b/c of rippletits
>"no... I just like 'em"
>"Oh, I like them too"
>Big smile on her face
>Expectant look
>Don't know what she wants me to see
>Nod
>Say nothing
>finish last set and leave without making additional eye contact

I see her in the gym all the time, and it triggers my autism. She talks with everyone, and is very friendly. And she's tried starting conversations with me since, I just go full spaghetti every time.

Iktf

So she's a talk-slut, drop her.

>Just me, 1 guy and his gf in the gym
>he farts and it smells. bad.
>gf says "omg it smells so bad"
>dude awkwardly laughs and is like "must have been that guy"
>both looking at me, girl looks pissed
>I just say "no"
>can't think of anything else to say
>walk away awkwardly
They both gave me dirty looks the rest of the day.

Not even trolling...but does full Rom on Bench fuck up your shoulders? I got on gear 2 months ago, my bench shot up 60 lbs (went from 215x5 to 275x5) and my pec where it attaches to the shoulder is kill now. Is that from full ROM or just gaining so much muscle?

>Just got on roids for the first time
>Go to the gym literally right after my first pin
>Pseudo-alphaness from the roids already
>See this girl with the most insane ass I've ever seen in my life
>Usually when I get drunk I borderline sexually assault girls (grab their asses, compliment them on it)
>Works generally because I'm pretty attractive and do it boldly
>Well this girls I couldn't resist
>During the workout I go up to her and say whats up
>I tell her that her ass is the craziest I've ever seen and she needs to give me her number
>It was a little too blatant I was just asking to fuck. She politely declines
>I now see her literally every time I workout and I try my hardest not to make eye contact
Don't shit where you eat

What an asshole giving you dirty looks when he knew it wasn't you

>At the gym for only the 8th time recently
>Using the leg press machine
>Have my phone to track my progress because a notepad is autismal
>phone is frozen so i sit for a few minutes fixing it
>some big chad muscle man comes
>'hey man are you using that machine?'
>realise I seem like I am on my phone
>'oh nah haha just playing angry birds!'
>push the leg press slightly with my legs
>then pretend I am an angry bird and jump backwards
>land on the floor off the machine and hurt my arm
>the guy looks at me confused
>crawl over, grab my towel and run off

You's

Enjoyable read

>this is what kissless virgins tell themselves

pls be real

Have fun with your verbal-whores who speak to everyone.

>have you got any hot finnish friends?
>yea why?
>I've never said this before but I'd love u 2 Finnish on my face

>in weightlifting gym class, required by my university
>doing baseline lifts, machines one day and free weights on another
>have to do leg press, grab a machine with friend
>fucking around, one upping each other
>2 grills waiting to use the press after us
>I load on a bit more weight to beat my friend and let her rip
>actually let one rip
>compressed asshole and sweaty bunghole combo lets loose a cheekslapping ear splitting fart
>grills immediately walk away
>finish the lift, have a laugh and never talk to them ever
>I hate leg press

yore***

I don't mind her talk to anyone since I'm not an insecure beta cuck.

>user got fartraped

>today
>doing preacher curls
>inbetween sets refill my water bottle
>gone for 30 seconds
>someone is at my bench
>its Chad
>Chad is doing extensions
>H-hey I using that
>He looks at me doesn't say a word
>I'm on my last set
>He looks at me and says OK
>Chad doesn't move
>I-I just have one more set
>marches off saying
'I wasnt even using it'
>he stands in the corner doing his extensions while leaning on a fence
>stares at me while I finish my set and re-rack

ask her out

lol

>that face
why

>be absolute dyel
>only been to gym a few times
>literally benching the bar
>only 2 bench presses at my gym
>guy asks politely if he can work in
>have no clue what that means
>"sure"
>just ignore him, keep doing my sets
>few minutes go by of me sitting there like an autist
>"h-hey man, can I work in or not?"
>"don't worry it's my last set"

See him all the time. I can tell he hates my guts.

>today doing preacher curls
>preacher curl station is by desks of trainers and qt grills that work at the gym
>last rep, let out very loud raspberry fart
>whip out phone and look at it and try not to burst out laughing
>don't look at other people around me because I don't want to give away I just ripped ass
>walk to locker room and crack up

>spells finnish wrong the second time.

>back day
>doing some deadlifts
>pump is fairly strong, plus a shitload of creating from the sips of my Bang
>pop full-on erection
>outline of my cock is fully visible through my shorts
>get glares from an old Asian man and a female Pajeet
>Walk it off like nothing happened

>walk into gym
>swipe my card
>receptionist fake coughs and holds out her hand
>hand her my card and select the 10% tip option
>she glares at me but let's me come in anyways
>change, then head to the squat rack
>start warming up
>get halfway through my working sets of 185
>Chad PT comes over and tries to correct my form
>stops mid-sentence
>ohplsno.mov
>he asks to see my papers
>squat registration expired last week
>fined 150 pounds off my total and 20 pounds of lean muscle
>should have been 250 and 30 but they let me go easy since I'm so small

alpha as fuck

>Be me
>Walk into gym
>Swipe and all that shit
>Walk down stairs to weight room
>Cardio section overlooks stairs.
>See 10/10 hotties .
>I do my walk down stairs making sure I look good.
> caught em lookin and talking to each other and gesturing towards me..they approved.
>I became filled with joy
>Forgot I was on stairs
>tripped and rolled down the last set of stairs
>quickly got up and pretended nothing happened.
>Got on the machine right next to the girls
>Said nothing the entire time.

>He got on gear with a 215lb bench

whats working in

hahahahaha i could imagine me doing this when i was starting but luckily i went on fit first

>goin to gym
>swipe card and walk in
>immediately head to curling rack
>cute grill smiles and says hi on her way out

fukkin talk-sluts reeeeeeeeee

>walk into gym for the first time
>really, just taking a look around to see if i'd have any interest in going there
>2 front desk people immediately pick me out as fresh meat
>get approached by the woman, asks if i would like a tour
>tell her no, that i just wanted directions to the nearest hardware store
>nearest hardware store is literally 3 buildings down the road
>"thanks for the directions"
>"no problem"
>"bye-bye"
>leave, get into car, and just drive out of the parking lot--don't even pretend to go to the hardware store

i never looked back, and no longer go to that side of town.